My Big Fat Haraam Wedding

By Pure Matrimony -

My Big Fat Haraam Wedding

In order to get married we may get tempted to do things, which will displease Allah (swt). In order to find the right person we may date or go to mixed weddings and not wear hijaab to attract a potential suitor or choose not to wear hijaab on the wedding day. We may date our fiancée before the wedding or we may waste money on things which aren’t needed like the ice swan, the water feature, the expensive orchids and the circus acrobat. We may have music or a DJ with a dance floor. We may have ceremonies, which are not in our religion but are borrowed from others. We may order a banquet fit for a king for catering, but we waste most of the food. But if we really understood how much every detail of happiness is in Allah’s (swt) control, we would choose Allah (swt) over our own desires and Allah (swt) over the desires of His creation.

“…and to Him return all affairs (for decision). So worship Him (O Muhammad SAW) and put your trust in Him. And your Lord is not unaware of what you (people) do.” (Quran 11:123)

We need to understand that every relationship, including that which is created through marriage, is only from Allah (swt).

“And it is He Who has created man from water, and has appointed for him kindred by blood, and kindred by marriage. And your Lord is Ever All-Powerful to do what He wills.” (Quran 25:54)

So who our in-laws will be and therefore how they will treat us is in the hands of Allah (swt).

Understand that your husband has been created only by Allah (swt) as a Libaas (a body cover or clothing).

“It is made lawful for you to have sexual relations with your wives on the night of As-Saum (the fasts). They are Lîbaas for you and you are the same for them.” (Quran 2:187)

Why did Allah (swt) use the word “libaas” to describe this relationship between a husband and a wife? If we think about it, libaas or clothing has so many functions, which can be extrapolated also to the relationship between a husband and a wife.

Clothing like this relationship:

Covers our modesty
Beautifies us
Complements us
Protects us from the environment
Gives us comfort
Gives us honour/humility
Gives us confidence
Hides our faults
Fits us perfectly

Similarly, not only will Allah (swt) provide us with a husband but also someone who fits us perfectly.

We need to understand that only Allah (swt) will place affection and mercy between us and our husbands. Why does Allah (swt) mention affection (muwaddat) and why not “old fashioned love” (muhabbat)?  Because muwaddat is love which is expressed. Someone may love someone else but may not show that person that they do by constantly hurting their feelings or by offending them. Muwaddat is the love that when expressed enables the person to be concerned for your welfare, to worry about you, to look after you when you need it.

“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.” (Quran 30:21)

So if we understand the above then we will place our trust in Allah (swt) in every way.

We place our trust in Allah (swt) that He will provide us with in-laws who we get along with and who love and respect us and it is not our ability to speak their language, to compromise our values for them, nor our family’s support that will achieve this.

We place our trust in Allah (swt) that He will provide us with a husband who is created perfectly for us and who pleases us in every way and it is not our ability to look dazzling without hijaab in a crowded room to catch men’s attention, or dating many men that will achieve this.

We place our trust in Allah (swt) that He will place affection and mercy between our husband and us and it is not our youth or our beauty, education or sense of humour or our similar interests or similarity in background that will achieve this.

If Allah (swt) is the only one who can put so much love and mercy between us and our husband and provide us with a perfect husband and provide us with perfect in-laws, then we need to only ask Allah (swt) for happiness in our future lives.

“And to Allâh belongs the Ghaib (unseen) of the heavens and the earth, and to Him return all affairs (for decision). So worship Him (O Muhammad SAW) and put your trust in Him. And your Lord is not unaware of what you (people) do.” (Quran 11:123)

Instead we will call and rely upon others for our happiness. Instead we rely upon ourselves for our happiness. We rely upon our families, our beauty, our youth, our education, our family’s social standing in the community, our job…we even start to rely upon our husbands to make it work and make us happy etc.

“O mankind! A similitude has been coined, so listen to it (carefully): Verily! Those on whom you call besides Allâh, cannot create (even) a fly, even though they combine together for the purpose. And if the fly snatched away a thing from them, they would have no power to release it from the fly. So weak are (both) the seeker and the sought. They have not estimated Allâh His Rightful Estimate; Verily, Allâh is All-Strong, All-Mighty.”

(Quran 22:73-74)

Not only will we call and rely upon others, we will disobey Allah (subhaana wa tala) to please others. To please our families, our future husband and future in-laws we will talk to our fiancée alone, have a mixed wedding, have music and dancing at the event, not wear Hijaab in front of non-mahrum men, waste money in lavish extras etc. We get so carried away ourselves in making our wedding the ultimate example to follow and envy by our guests that we displease Him – Ar-Rahmaan who gave us this day to celebrate in the first place.

“Some people set up equals with Allah, loving them as they should love Allah.  But those with faith have greater love for Allah.” (Quran 2:165)

Instead we should fear Allah (swt) who gave us this day, this person, this new family. If we displease Him, just as He gave something so wanted by us He will take it away from us or place in it unhappiness for us.

“Whatever of good reaches you, is from Allâh, but whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself.” (Quran 4:79)

If we do not fear Allah (swt) and with humbleness turn to Allah (swt) and ask His forgiveness and if we do not obey Allah then the fate of those before us will be our fate:

“…But their hearts became hardened, and Shaitân (Satan) made fair seeming to them that which they used to do. So, when they forgot (the warning) with which they had been reminded, We opened to them the gates of every (pleasant) thing, until in the midst of their enjoyment in that which they were given, all of a sudden, We took them to punishment, and lo! They were plunged into destruction with deep regrets and sorrows. So the roots of the people who did wrong were cut off. And all the praises and thanks be to Allâh, the Lord of the ‘Alamîn (mankind, jinns, and all that exists).” (Quran 6:43-5)

The frightening thing about the above verse of the Quran is that Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) gave these people everything that they desired and it was then that Allah (swt) punished them by taking it away from them. This is worse than never having something and it being kept away from you because you don’t know what you are missing out on. We need to be careful that we don’t forget Allah in our happiness and contentment. And it will not matter if we picked and chose from our religion some aspects that we obeyed Allah (swt) on and disobeyed Allah (swt) on other aspects:

“Then do you believe in a part of the Scripture and reject the rest? Then what is the recompense of those who do so among you, except disgrace in the life of this world, and on the Day of Resurrection they shall be consigned to the most grievous torment. And Allâh is not unaware of what you do. Those are they who have bought the life of this world at the price of the Hereafter. Their torment shall not be lightened nor shall they be helped.” (Quran 2:85-6)

We need to obey Allah (swt) in all aspects of our religion…on all that Allah (swt) asked us to do in the Qur’aan and in the commands of the Prophet (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). Instead we should fear Allah (swt) so that if anything, Allah (swt) will provide us with the best.

“And whosoever fears Allâh and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).  And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allâh then He will suffice him. Verily, Allâh will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allâh has set a measure for all things.” (Quran 65:2-3)

Having fear of Allah is what will give you blessings from Allah. Blessings with respect to love and mercy between your husband and you, righteous and pious children, a high status with respect to the people in your community and on the Day of Judgement in front of Allah (swt).

“And if the people of the towns had believed and had the Taqwâ (fear of Allah), certainly, We should have opened for them blessings from the heaven and the earth, but they belied (the Messengers). So We took them (with punishment) for what they used to earn.” (Quran 7:96)

Having fear of Allah is what will give you blessings from Allah – Allah will almost rip the heavens and the earth apart to give you these – from every direction. It was taqwa which gave Mohammad (peace be upon him) the ability to return to Makkah when he and his followers had initially been driven out of Makkah for preaching and practising Islaam. It was taqwa which led Muslims to being pioneers in the fields of astronomy, mathematics, medicine, physics, architecture etc. It was taqwa which led to Yusuf (alayhisaalaam) becoming the financial minister of Egypt.

And it will be taqwa which will lead you to have happiness with your husband, your in laws, your children, your community, Allah Willing.

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Source: http://idealmuslimah.com/family/getting-married/1633-my-big-fat-haraam-wedding

37 Comments to My Big Fat Haraam Wedding

  1. I needed this now. Alhamdulillah! I want to give my son an Islamic wedding but I don’t know what happens at an Islamic celebration. I really couldn’t find the specifics online. Sheikh, would you be so kind as to give the details? Also, my son said, “you expect me to just marry someone without talking to them first?” I offered that they could talk all they wanted after marriage contract, but, that didn’t go over too well. I don’t know what to tell him. I also said there would NOT be a long “engagement”. If you both want to get married, why the long engagement period?
    Please advise, Sheikh! Jazakhallahu Khairan.

    • Assalamu alaikum

      your son and the sister can speak for the purpose of marriage if she has her walli present as the prophet salla Allahu alayhi wassalam advised the man to see the woman and her to see him .
      they will be companions and have a right to know if they can agree on common grounds or not
      as the last thing you want is for your son to be un happy or divorced
      but they can definately get to know eachother after the nikkah is done before they decide to live together inshaAllah
      may Allah bless your sons marriage Ameen

  2. This article is very informative but I wanted to ask is it right in islamic laws for muslim parents to say to their son or daughter that they have seen a prospectic family (who are seemingly good hearted and quite pious) and that they are going to get their child married into that family eventhough the child has clearly stated that they do not want to get married into that family and that they do not have marriage on their mind yet?
    Please kindly advise in this matter
    Jazakallah

    • Well Islamicly you cant force your children to marry, but if the people are pious and good hearted then there must be a different problem weather the guy/girl isnt good looking or has a different personality…. good luck! :)

  3. informative article , very important for these times when even if the child doesnt want a lavish wedding there parents push for it .
    both male and female have the right to refuse who they want but a muslim at the age for marriage should marry
    many brothers and sister been looking for years and are still looking so dont think its ok i have plenty of time , you dont know what the future holds but you may end up when you decide your ” ready to think about it ” that all of a suden you cant find a suitable spouse

  4. alsree Aysha

    asalam alaikum :
    i need advice plz , a man want to marry me , and i want to do it too , because i think that he is good praticant of Islam(i did salatte istikhara too) , but my mum is not existed about that just becasue he lives far , is it a good reason to refuse a husband , plz tell me what i can do without disobey allah Soubhanahou Wa Ta’alla

    • Salamoe 3alaykoem alsree alysha,
      I have to say, follow your heart , what is te problem of living far? maybe you can move later to a place closer to your mom? uuhmm,just saying, if you like him, go for it!
      because if you don;t you will say later. why didn’t I marry him?!

      Greetingz,Fedua from holland

      • salam alaikum : thank u Fedua for the advice , am realy touched , i think that i will follow it , because i don’t want to be or make some one unhappy just because a bad decision
        thank u , jazak allah khairan :)

  5. Asak, I want to know there’s a person with a very good heart, very good values, respects his parents , who is religious and who claims to love you with all his heart. so can the girl go ahead and tell her family about him or introduce him. does that mean hurting your parents? is it right or wrong?

    • Salaam

      I’m not sure how a person can love another non-mahram before having gone through the hardships of marriage. This most likely isn’t “love”, and more likely to be just the play of shaytaan. It is strongly advised that brothers and sisters (non-mahrams) don’t even communicate unless it’s necessary.
      It’s worthy to remember that shaytaan is always the third in a couple.
      Once the girl tells her family about this guy, they may instantly assume things have been happening, so this should definitely be approached with some caution.
      A good move right now may be to tell him to come back when you’re certain about marriage. If he’s not happy to leave, then there’s some concerns regarding how he really feels about you.

      [Forgive me for anything wrong I may have said. It's very late at night here :)]
      Wa salamualaikum

      • Asak, so wht if the guy is not ready to give up…wht if he’s ready to talk to the girls parents… is that wrong?

  6. vancouver16

    asalam alaikum,
    i have a question, but not about the wedding part, i am a muslim girl, and i love my faith, but i dont wear hijab, i want to but im just not ready, i wish i was, i plan to wear it in the future, and i know that anything can happen and i might not get the chance to, but im just not ready to put it on, am i a bad muslim? also, iv recently started praying, and i should have started a long time ago and i feel bad that i havnt, but i am having trouble remembering the words and when i do pronounce them i say them wrong, i am also having trouble remembering the steps, i feel guilty that i cant and im wondering if there is a reason for it. My parents are good muslims, but they feel guilty that they didnt teach me to pray at a young age, or be persistent with teaching me arabic now that i have been bringing it up, is it wrong for me to be a little anoyed at the fact they didnt teach me better when i was younger so its not as hard for me now?
    Sorry for all the questions, any answers would be appreciated :)

    • Wa salamualaikum

      Allah says in the Qur’an,
      “And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers, their brothers’ sons, their sisters’ sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.” 24:31

      So you can already see that Allah has told the women of Islam to cover their adornments, not to restrict them, but to save them from the evils of this dunya.
      I can’t judge you as a bad Muslim, only Allah can. And it all depends on your piety.
      If you learn more about the hijaab, you will soon have no fear of wearing it. In fact, once you learn more about it, you’ll find your haya, peity and imaan will increase, and Allah will only love you more for obeying him. And that’s a brilliant thing :D

      MashaAllah it’s good to know that you’ve started praying. It’s usual for someone who’s just started praying to forget the words or the actions. A very good method I used was to learn the meaning of the surahs (especially Surah Al Fatiha). As you practise your prayers more and more, you will soon find that you will remember the steps (InshaAllah).

      Regarding parents, Allah speaks of them MANY times in the Qur’an.
      He says,
      “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. ” 17:23
      And as a matter of fact, Allah mentions parents right next to worship MANY, MANY times in the Qur’an. So you can see how important parents are in Islam.
      It wouldn’t be fair for you to be annoyed at your parents. Of course it’s not a good thing that they did not teach you when you were young, but make sure you never show disrespect to them. If you feel angry with them, keep it inside you so you don’t hurt your parents.

      • vancouver16

        Thank you for answering, that was a big help, may allah bless you & your family now and in the future to come! :)

    • well i think this is become common and common problem these days. i knew it by experience.
      only dont let syaitan to win by whispering to your heart that you are not ready, your are bad, you forgot the step, you say it wrong and everything. just do it. so you will win and got the biggest love of our maker.
      and at the same time keep learning. i myself still learning how to do solah and recently knew that my solah is still not accurate all these time. but dont worry Allah will not punish us for our ignorance(seeking knowledge is wajib though) and when we forgot.
      i want to share with u and all my dear sister of islam, the moment you covered yourself (hair, chest and loose fitted clothes) the feeling is priceless. i m feeling so secured and protected.alhamdulillah.

  7. chantelle cummings`

    @Vancouver16 : Assalam alaikum sister. It is never too late to learn and to change your life. There are very good websites with videos and instruction on salat(prayer) and almost any subject. My favorite is islamicity.com This site has a Qua’ran search that allows you to find any subject in the Qua’ran with just one word. It is most useful when you want to know what Allah says for us to do. This site also has Qua’ran recitations and teaches how to pronounce every aya of the Qua’ran. Alhamdulilah. I have a support group for sisters(Muslim women) http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sistersinislam/ this group is primarily for new converts, however we have good links for information and several of the sisters are Muslim from birth. Good luck and Allah bless you and make it easy on you sister to follow the straight way. Inshallah. Ameen.

    • vancouver16

      Wa salamualaikum,
      thank you, these websites will help me out alot, i apreciate the reply, may allah bless you and your family! :)

  8. Salam, so lol i got a problem me and this guy have agreed to marry but alot needs to be done before it takes place! I really want a small wedding somthing islamic i really would live but i dont think he and his family will agree! Im scared and worried if it doesnt work out what should i do jazakallah khair

    • Wa.salaam

      If there’s one piece of advice I can give to you, it would be to trust in Allah.
      Never let go of your trust in Allah.
      When you feel like things are getting tough, here’s a dua:
      Bismillah, Tawakkaltu, ‘a-lallah, wa laa hawla wa laa quwatta illah billah
      (In the name of Allaah, I place my trust in Allaah, and there is no might nor power except with Allaah)

      That’s the dua for when you’re leaving your home, but hey!, it can be used in other situations too.
      Remember to constantly ask Allah to make your situations easy for you.
      Wa salamualaikum. :)
      [Forgive me for anything wrong I've said, and thank Allah for anything that has benefitted you.]

  9. Salam, I have a terrible situation that I’m in and any advice will be very good. A guy came and asked for me he knew me from work. He’s a great guy who fears Allah (swt) and always prays and I never seen him look or talk to any girls always into his work. He came and asked for my hand in marriage with his family and my parents went crazy. They refused him only because he’s not as rich as them and isn’t high standard enough for them and that people will talk about them marring me to a guy not high class enough for them:( I tried really hard convincing them he a good guy and that I want to marry him. Instead they choose a guy who’s from the family had him come n bring the shakhh to do wedding papers and I started crying telling them I don’t want this guy and I want to marry the other guy. So they threatened to do terrible things to me if I didn’t sign the papers. I got scared and I did. This guy is terrible he doesn’t pray and all he thinks about is money, cars and how good looking I have to dress. Even my dad said I don’t care if the other guy is better your going to marry this one cus he meets our family standards. I just can’t love this man and the wedding is going to be this summer and I speak to nobody not even my fiancé and they still r going to do the wedding. They all know I don’t want this and even do they see I’m depressed and that I lost so much weight and that I can’t leave the house and I talk to nobody not evn my mom or dad because I tried be4 and they just yelled at me telling me I “have” to marry him. I pray and ask Allah (swt) for help every day.

    • Thank u Abdullah for your advice. My parents and the guys parents took me to a shakhh because they thought I had sihr ( black magic) done on me from the guy who came and proposed. Then the shakh told them I was fine and he read Quran. Then they took me to another lady shakh because they seen I was still the same. I went 2 times to the lady shakh and she kept scaring me and telling me the other guy is bad and take him out of your head and that this guy is the one for me. After the 2 times my parents took me to her the 3 re time I explained to her my situation because the other 2 times I would just sit there and cry. Then you know what happened she started crying. Then she told me that the guys family and my parents wanted to give her money so she can scare me so that I’m happy with the guy they want. Can you believe parents paying a shayka to scare me but she didn’t accept it. She told me that she told my parents she will just so she hears what I have to say. So after my parents came she took them aside n told them what they are doing is wrong and they started yelling at her n then took me. And in the car they told me how that lady is crazy and stupid. But when I left the shayka told me she will pray for me. It’s really hard speaking to my parents because I know they are wrong. Alhmdiallah for everything cus we should always be thankful and cus I know I will argue with them I can’t speak with them but I always ask Allah ( swt) to forgive them. Even tho I feel so hurt inside.

    • Assalaamualaikum, may Allah make it easy 4 u sister.I would also advise that u do the istikhara. InshaAllah your decision would be easier to make and handle. In all these your parents are thinking of your wellbeing when u ar no longer with them and may also be selfish too and think of wat they would benefit. But InshaAllah, no one turns to. Allah 4 help and would not receive it. May Allah guide u and make it easy 4 u.ameen

  10. I have a fiancé and we are planning our wedding, but there is a problem in that. I want a simple wedding, not waste a lot of money, not play a lot of music, not drive crazy with cars, no firworks etc. Only a simple cermony for our family and friends to celebrate our marriage, but my fiancé is the total opposite! He wants the typical Egyptian wedding, and his family is quite wealthy, so he wants to spend money in all unnecessary things, have DJ, a lot of food, fireworks etc, all the things I don’t want. He wants a huge wedding. I don’t know what I can tell him? I’ve tried to tell him about it before, but he insists on a great wedding, a small simple one is not sufficient enough. And about our parents, I’m a Muslim convert so my family is not really participating in the wedding-planning, as that is not normal from the country I am from. And the parents of his fiancé wants a huge party as well, his dad loves to spend money. I must say that my fiancé has a very good character and we have common interests, but I don’t know how to deal with the wedding issue. Could someone kindly advise me?

  11. Assalamualaikum

    I’m so sorry to hear about your situation, sister.

    It is not permissible for a woman to be made to marry someone she does not want. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A previously-married woman should not be married without being consulted, and a virgin should not be married without asking her permission.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission given?” He said, “By her silence.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6455).

    If the marriage happens, and I will pray that it does not, it is better for you to try your best to fulfill your role as a wife. You could reform this man, and Allah knows best, he may begin to pray and act as a pious Muslim should, and Allah would copy all those good deeds of his into your book of deeds because you were the one who helped him.
    You would gain immense reward for being patient with your parents and keeping them happy. If the marriage is forced upon you, then your parents will have that sin to answer to on the Day of Judgement, when they stand before Allah.
    Use the Qur’an and ahadeeh to explain to your parents.
    Try contacting a local imaam or a shaykh, and see if they’ll meet with your parents to discuss the situation with them.

    Pray to Allah and ask him for help. Indeed, he is The Preventer (Al-Maani)
    I pray Allah will safeguard you, remove the miseries you are encountering, and make it easy for you.

  12. Assalamu Alaikum,

    Can the admin, or the sheikh, or whoever wrote this article explain an Islamic wedding? Can you have one in a masjid? (without music ofcourse) What is the ruling on the Islamic wedding and how can one do it? :) Salam

  13. Muhammad AbdulBasiet

    Aa Plz is it permissible in Islam to disobey yor parents in marriage matters whereas u want tO marry a certain person and ur Parents say no and u insist u wanna Marry the person….. and the reason my parents are refusing is that they don’t want me to marry from a different tribe/race/community though we are both Muslim

    • Wa alaikum Salaam
      Muslim men are allowed to marry without their parent’s permission, but you really must try your best to counsel your parents. Things may turn out very bad in the future if you’re parents don’t agree to the marriage.

  14. asslam o alaikum … as in mi question is this that there was a guy in mi life .he promise me that he vl marry me . v have a relation of 5 yearz .but nw he get married .he converted a girl in islam n marry her .i knw the relation was haraam but the promise that he made to me iz jaiz in islam .nw wat should i do . is dat guy iz wrong or i m wrong here .plz guide me m vry upset

  15. asslam o alaikum ….
    thnk u fr this wndrful piece of information…….i jst wanna know wthr it is possible fr a hindu man 2 m arry a muslim grl if he doesn’t her 2 cnvrt and respects her religion and is perfectly ok with it……if that man follows all that is said in Quran, as Quran is the wa 2 lead a righteous life.. evry thing that is said in it is his way of life and evrything that is prohibited in it is not followed by him… it is even said in Quran that Allah wld help u 2 get in laws that respects and love u without acknowledging yor language and ways of life……..so is it possible in any means

  16. Salam o alikum brothers and sisters,
    I have got a question, I want to marry a gril and she got antoher nationality then me. My parents are against this wedding and saying that i have to marry a gril from my own origen. what should i do? listen to them or juist fallow my heart?

    My father says if u do it i will never forgeve you. Which one is important? my father or my wedding with that girl?

    thanks for you wise advice may Allah help all of us on wright way. Allah o Akhbar

  17. badruneesa wıllıams

    Asaalaamwaılaıkom.. Ive been marrıed nw 3 yrs and ı also embraced ISLAM.. I dıdnt have the faırytale weddıng that so many ppl wanted, ı wanted ıt plaın and sımple wıth my famıly and close frıends.. My xcıtedment was for spendıng my lıfe a pıous muslım and fullfıll my role as wıfe and learnıng more of the DEEN.. And ALGHAMDULLILAH ım fullfıllıng my dreams..
    Most ppl today do thıngs to satısfy ppl, where as they forget the meanıng of marraıge, and where as that day should be about the them gettıng marrıed and nt of what others thınk..

    May Allah guıde and protect those on there journey of marraıge..
    INSHA-ALLAH

  18. Assalamu Aliyakum,
    I’m in a situation that my parents had promised a guy within my family my hand in marriage five years as the years were going by I told my parents that I didn’t want an arrange marriage and last year my dad went back home and basically made the nikkah happen but I never agreed to it. It’s been a year since that happened and I’m not happy cause at first I didn’t want to marry him and secondly it’s the communication.I never seen him in my life. He lives on a different continent and speaks another language other than my native language. Personally I feel way more comfortable speaking English and he doesn’t speak that. With that being said I spoke to one of my old friends and most certainly we connected really quick. So I know it can’t be me.. I told my parents that I gave their guy a chance and because its lacking in communication I don’t want to be in a relationship with him but they are threatening me saying their going to kick me out and that’s a big treat cause I don’t work or anything. I don’t know what to do because its been a year n a half almost and if I don’t feel comfortable communicating with someone how am I going to be with him for the rest of my life and be unhappy. Is it wrong if i ask for a divorce.What do you think it’s the right thing to do? Any advice please.sorry for the long post.

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