5 stages of forgiveness

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By Pure Matrimony -

Author: Sabha



If someone has recently hurt you, you’ll know just how painful and arduous the process of forgiveness can be. To avoid vengeance, you will control your anger and put a seal to your mouth or you might give back answers.

There is nothing wrong with doing the above things because it is your life and your attitude.  Or you need not want to deal with your life as how others want you to live. This is your life, you can’t be a remote controller of other’s lives.

When you are doing something good for the people or when you are doing out of your own will, no one has the rights to restrain you.

But in case if you were wrong, and you have been obdurate and fought with others by hurting their feelings which they have debased in their past and ultimately concluding with a huge trauma- in this situation you might feel bad for the scurrilous words which you used. 


Forgiveness can not be bribed or sold. It is extremely personal for someone to forgive or not to forgive. If you forgive someone you are not losing anything, in fact, people will honour you as an altruistic man/woman.

But if you do not forgive a person, and because of your nemesis, if you try to hurt that person, people will call you a fool. Retaliatory is not a success. Neither it gives you wealth nor any reward. It can only give satisfaction. The satisfaction of what? your victory. 

Remember when someone hurts you, it means they are jealous of you; because of their envious nature, they try to hurt you.

 Additionally, you should be proud that -someone is envious of you because they lack the thing which you have and they don’t possess ultimately you are a successful person in their eyes.  

 Perhaps, if you take revenge in the end, you might suffer a lot because of your vengeful action, because it hardens your heart, it will cause you mental disturbance and you might become a narcissist or quitter.

So forgiving someone is really important. Because we might know how the other person will feel for what they did in your past. On the other hand, few may not have the courage to ask forgiveness for their obdurate action or words. So we should have the courage to forgive.

The 5 stages of forgiveness. 


Consciousness- First you need to notice why you are angry?  Bitter and crabby, etc…only then you will understand and think whether or not to forgive this person. Until or unless if you do not have a negative emotion you cannot deal. 

  • Circumstances- Forgiveness is not meant to be ignored or suppressed. Only through the circumstances, you might have the courage to forgive.
  • Confirmation- If someone has hurt you badly, don’t try to escape from that person and make unwanted excuses, though you don’t want to face that person again in your life. But you have to accept that person has hurt you and that can not be changed.
  • Consign- Until or unless you don’t forgive a person, you will be emotionally sick and undergo depression. Because those hurtful words will deliver pang to your heart. You will suffer a lot and the person who hurt you would enjoy with his/her popcorn.
  • Comprehend- At last you should throw your grudge and vicious nature. You should realise your mistakes too. Only by doing this you might get a positive emotion and live a peaceful and closure life instead of living an animalistic life.



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