Author: Zohra Sarwari
The first most effective habit of a Muslim family should be to have tawheed in Allaah (SWT), and how to worship Allaah (SWT). To be able to know who He is and what His characteristics are.
The second highly effective habit that every Muslim family must have is worshipping Allaah (SWT) together as a family.
The third highly effective habit that every Muslim family must have is knowing who the Prophet (SAAW) is, and practicing his sunnah.
The fourth highly effective habit that every Muslim family must have is mercy for the young, and respect for the elders.
The fifth highly effective habit that every Muslim family must have is to listen to each other, and learn to communicate with each other.
The sixth highly effective habit that every Muslim family must have is constantly learning and growing as a family.
The seventh highly effective habit that every Muslim family must have is for them as a family to lead by example.
You might be saying well we do have Tawheed in Allaah (SWT). Do we really? Think about it? Many of us are born Muslims, mashAllaah, but what we take for granted is seeking knowledge about our deen. Due to this major problem, we take whatever everyone else tells us instead of us finding out if it is true or not before we do it. This is very sad. SubhanAllaah and then when someone tells you the correct way, you question them and say “My family has been doing this custom for years, and they are very educated in Islaam.” SubhanAllaah. They act the same way that Ibrahim (PBUH)’s dad reacted. This is the ignorant way to be. That is why this is the most important step of being a highly effective family. You know there are day’s mashAllaah my kids watch the scholars or read a book and learn something new, then they come and tell me about it. If it is something I do not know, then I go and confirm if it is true, and if it is then we start to implement it in our lives, inshAllaah. Just because they are kids I do not say they are wrong, or they don’t know what they are hearing or learning. I actually encourage them to continue learning more and help us also learn. So please as a family keep learning your deen, and keep implanting it in your life inshAllaah as a family.
The second highly effective habit that every Muslim family must have is worshipping Allaah (SWT) together as a family. You see a lot of times we are in a hurry and we just want to pray, or do what we have to do. This makes us neglect practicing our deen with our families. What we need to do is know what the prayer times are and then have everyone on board to pray together at those times inshAllaah. Everyone needs to be ready and pray in Jammat, inshAllaah. Besides this, there should be an evening for everyone to either go to a halaqa or listen to a sheikh together and then discuss it. The more the family can practice their deen together the happier everything will flow. The more they can understand each other, inshAllaah. The most successful families are the ones that are worshipping Allaah (SWT) as a family. The Prophet Muhammad (SAAW) said in the hadith collected by Abu Dawud in his Sunan, “…indeed the wolf devours the lone sheep.” So when we are together and doing things together such as worshipping Allaah (SWT), inshAllaah, Shaaytan will not try to take us away.
The third highly effective habit that every Muslim family must have is knowing who the Prophet (SAAW) is, and practicing his sunnah. You might be asking yourself, well we know who the Prophet (SAAW) is, and we try to practice the sunnah to the best of our abilities. However, did you know that a large amount of Muslims do not really know who the Prophet (SAAW) is. They have read clips of his life here and there, but they truly do not know who he (SAAW) is. They have not read his biography or studied him. So if this is the case for the majority of Muslim families, then how can we become successful? SubhanAllaah, I was just reading about a case where a 16 year old girl ran away from home to another state, and she had converted from Islaam at the age of 13 or 14. She became Christian and then started ranting about her parents wanting to kill her because she left Islaam. SubhanAllaah. As they interviewed her parents, I realized they were so liberal, that they probably did not have much knowledge about their own deen. Her parents mentioned many times they would not bother her, and she was free to practice what she wanted to practice. However, I sat there reflecting their situation and thought SubhanAllaah, all of this could have been avoided had they had knowledge of their deen and practiced it together. She would not have been confused or brainwashed by others because she wanted to be accepted by them. The less knowledge we have the more apt we are to make decisions that may hurt us, and guide us the wrong path. Especially if our children go to public schools, and are exposed to so much negative influences. We need to teach them more than ever about righteousness and being righteous themselves. We also need to lead by example as their parents, and older siblings. However we cannot do this unless we know what righteousness looks like and follow their examples. The most righteous person we should all know inside out is the Prophet Muhammad (SAAW), and we should be following his example as much as we can inshAllaah.
The fourth highly effective habit that every Muslim family must have is mercy for the young, and respect for the elders. The Prophet Muhammad (SAAW) said, “He is not of us who does not have mercy on young children, nor honor the elderly” (Al-Tirmidhi). We need to be kind and gentle to our youth and teach them with gentleness and kindness and teach them by example what respect is. When we respect them, they will respect us inshAllaah. Every family must do this, as this was how the Prophet (SAAW) was in his manners. This will help our relationships and each one of us will feel happy in our roles weather young or old, inshAllaah.
The fifth highly effective habit that every Muslim family must have is to listen to each other, and learn to communicate with each other. Communication is the key to any great relationship. Our kids should not be afraid to talk to us and tell us things. Most kids now fear their parents or older siblings and therefore when they face a test from Allaah (SWT), they discuss it with their friends versus their families. Most of their friends are not knowledgeable and get their advice from movies, books, radio and not so righteous people. Is that really who you want to give your child advice? If your answer is no, leave the door for communication open. Talk to them, and let them come to you to talk about things they may be facing, inshAllaah.
The sixth highly effective habit that every Muslim family must have is constantly learning and growing as a family. What are you doing as a family to increase your knowledge together. Are you working on memorizing Quraan together, hadiths together, stories of the prophets together? The more you gain knowledge together and do it as a family the more inshAllaah you will grow together. In my home we try to practice Quraan together out loud at least 5 days a week. We all sit together; when we drive we listen to Quraan or lectures together. So this way we are all learning new content together inshAllaah.
The seventh highly effective habit that every Muslim family must have is for them as a family to lead by example. If the parents don’t lie, and they talk about this with their kids, and the importance of it, inshAllaah the kids won’t lie either. Leading by example is vital for the kids to learn. This means that we as the parents need to work on ourselves first so that we may be better examples for our children to learn from inshAllaah.
In conclusion, you have my list of 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families. If you work on each of these habits inshAllaah daily and implement them in your lives, then inshAllaah you’re on your way to success. Along the way, you will add more successful habits to your list, inshAllaah! May your family be highly effective and successful in this world as well as the hereafter. Ameen!
….Where Practice Makes Perfect
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