A guide for ungrateful women

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By Pure Matrimony -

Author: Sabha

Introduction:

وعن ابن عمر رضي الله عنهما أن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال‏:‏“‏يا معشر النساء تصدقن، وأكثرن من الاستغفار، فإني رأيتكن أكثرأهلالنار.‏”‏قالتامرأةمنهن‏:‏مالناأكثرأهل النار‏؟‏ قال‏:‏ ‏”‏تكثرن اللعن، وتكفرن العشير مارأيت منناقصات عقل ودين أغلب لذي لب منكن‏”‏ قالت‏:‏ ما نقصان العقل والدين‏؟
قال‏”‏ ‏”‏شهادة امرأتين بشهادة رجل، وتمكث الأيام لا تصلي‏”‏ ‏(‏‏(‏رواه مسلم‏)‏‏)‏‏.‏

Translation:

Ibn ‘Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) said:

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “O womenfolk! You should give charity and be diligent in seeking Allah’s forgiveness because I have seen (i.e., on the Night of the Mehraj to the highest heavens) that dwellers of the Hell are women.

” A woman among them said: “Why is it that the majority of the dwellers of Hell are women?” The Prophet (ﷺ) replied, “You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. In spite of your lacking in wisdom and failing in religion, you are depriving the wisest of men of their intelligence.

” Upon this, the woman asked: “What is the deficiency in our wisdom and in our religion?” He (ﷺ) replied, “Your lack of wisdom can be well judged from the fact that the evidence of two women is equal to that one man.

You do not offer Salaah (prayer) for some days and you do not fast (the whole of) Ramadan sometimes, it is a deficiency in religion.”[Muslim].

Challenging for women to enter Paradise:

From the above hadees, we clearly understand that men folk will be more in Paradise than women folk. The justification is also given. In today’s world, even children are “ungrateful” towards parents. Because they do not want to follow “blind Obedience”. In shaa, Allah will discuss blind Obedience in our next topic.

Why are we being ungrateful towards our husband?. If not let’s call this ungrateful as “selfish”. On the contrary, selfish is a person who is, self-obsessed etc. Let’s take the example of Plastic glass once we use it we throw the glass into a dustbin. This is how we treat our spouse too. Once he earns well, presents loads of gifts we respect, clasp him.

But as soon as he stops earning and settles at a home. We do not even care for such a person. If a husband wants to be very faithful and loyal to his work. We do not encourage our spouse.

But we encourage a friend who cheats in his work. Look at him he has a piece of posh furniture and his wife is tremendously trendsetting. She wears the best-branded shoes from Vans but you just bought a slipper from the catwalk.

In so and so informal bash she had an attractive red Caprese bag. The cosmetics are branded too Victoria secret. She goes to a spa thrice in a month and also to the parlour. But you are insane, you do not even care for me.

Nor, take me outside. They do go on a family trip and last month she visited her mother’s house. You have locked me inside this four-chamber wall. I feel like I am a “robot” now. Running a life of the machine.

This is how we pester our husband. When we are so possessive of her husband. Then why should we compare them to other men?  Friend’s husband may be born with a silver spoon. So he is posh. If your husband is honest with his work and turns up late to home.May be his friend cheats. Do not yell at him and compare him with his friend. However, the financial conditions of your house but do not ask him to do “overtime”.

Because if health is lost something is lost. Do not disturb his peace. If he wants to spend time with you. Say Allhumdullialah and at that time be quiet.  If you pester him during your personal time too. He might start losing his interest in you. He might also feel that the workplace is better.

Do not jump into the conclusion that my friend’s husband cheats only because he wants his wife to be happy. No sisters, that man is actually trying to escape from the pester of his wife. That man only wants “peace” and moreover we can say that he is a man of “self-seeking”.

What else can I do?

This is how you should overwhelm from the disclosures of shaytan. First and foremost, do not connect your life with other women. Moreover, do not compare your life in today’s world. Because once you spring comparing your life with today’s world you will be ruined.

Compare your life with 4 great women of this world. Khadijah Radiallahu anha was a very classy woman. She adored Prophet Muhammad Sallahu Alayhi wa Sallam like a mother. After Qurashi sized and plundered the wealth of Prophet. He used to go and remain in the cave of Hirah. Cherish my dear sister’s Khadijah Razi Allahu Anha was more adult to the prophet.

Still, if Prophet did not turn home. She will send Fathima Razi Allahu Anha or she will climb the cave. Though she was very old and it was rocky and give food to her husband. She lived in a small house. Such a rich woman sacrificed her wealth and identity. She also accepted the words of Prophet. But she was never ever ungrateful to her husband.  The angel Jibreel said that she will be honoured by Allah in Paradise.

On the other hand, we have Aasiyah Razi Allahu Anha who sacrificed her loyal, wealthy, healthy and powerful husband and king Firawn for Isalm. But she was stabbed by her husband. From this, we can not say that she was ungrateful to her husband. She did the right of accepting Isalm. We shall discuss this in brief in the next topic.
In conclusion, do not be ungrateful towards your husband’s. Because of being ungrateful to your husband Allah will not like you. Most of the divorces start because of ungrateful and they do not patch up easily. On the other hand, if your husband is wrong and does not change you have your own rights. If he earns through interest or black market and does not change it is your choice to stay or leave him. Haram is Haram, Halal is Halal.
                                                                                Jazakallhu Khairan.

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