A guide to muslim women- Backbiting

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By Pure Matrimony -

Author: Sabha


Backbiting – “malicious rumour about someone who is not present”. If a person backbites, on the contrary, he/she is eating his/her deceased brother’s meat. Allah says in the Holy Quran in Surah Al- Hujrath 49 chapter about backbiting.

The women chatter and backbite more than men. The reason women follow Dajal than men is that of backbiting.

Woman’s fulfilment is boundless. Possessiveness and envious nature is the trademark of women.

Since women are weaker than men. They constantly desire the sympathy of others. Though they have absolute patience. They are intellectual and daring, but their bodily appearance pulls them down.

Women and Duniya:

Women’s classic styles are comparison and jealousy which is still prevailing among them. They prejudice others. The other factor of women is that if they detest or avoid someone, they prefer their relatives, acquaintances also to avoid, detest the same person.

For example, a cold war between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Because the mother might feel insecure and the wife will need her husband’s support every time. The typical style of two women.

The next factor is bias or prestige in the property. Women are most keen on prestige and social affairs. They demand the posh life rather than a convenient life. Women of high status or accomplishments will scorn a woman proficient to her.

The women who have handsome sons will discourage every girl. They might have the attitude that their sons are the Mr Universe.

Likewise, if the wife has a smart husband, thus she might be saucy and selfish on the other women.

Gossip vs relationship:

Backbiting and gossip often destroy reputations and dis-unify relationships.  If a person backbites or gossips about someone, the hearer will have negative assessments. It will affect the speaker too.

Few people might assume the speaker knows no other job else than slander., the hearer will spill the beans to others.

Further, it is always the best to never involve the third person in your relationship. Though it might be our parents.

If you share the hardships with your parents do in front of your spouse. So it does not result in gossip or backbite.  For instance, a few parents might think their spouse is snappish. They might also think you are afraid of your spouse and talk about him/her in their absence.

When you are in dolour stage and if you share your obscurities do not weep. None of the parents will enjoy when their child weeps. For parents, their children are more precious than gems.

They might chastise, pester, shrew, and punish you. But they will not on any moment adore if another person flogs or abuses you.  In specific, if you are the only child, daughter or son then you might be the apples of one’s eye.

Their clemency will break one day. On that day the parents might react as eggs are eggs.  Unwanted miscommunication and vengeance will thrive in the hearts of the parents and the speaker.

The second stage of the gossip:

At the final stage, parents will not tolerate any more they will give some ideas to defend against your spouse or they will ask you to be patient. The communication between the spouse and parents will descend slowly.

Instead of getting dependent on your spouse, the ideas of your parents will make you bold and strong to raise your voice. A husband will raise his hand and a wife will abuse her husband through her tongue.

At this stage, you will become close to a person who favours your actions and turns against people who do not favour you. Though they might be your relatives or friends.

Parents vengeance and their sympathy might also be the reason for your divorce. Because we all the followers of our parents especially after marriage we might become very close to our mother. We might follow her advice and step in each action we take.

So it is better at any moment not to include your parents in your relationship. You might very well know about your spouse than family members and friends.

It is parents psychology to show their concern towards children. They fix their mind with a tendency where the offsprings are still young. Especially mother’s. She might still treat you as a toddler who falls in the new steps of life. The pampering of the mother never ends.

Last stage of backbiting:

This behaviour often shows a lack of respect, acceptance, compassion, loyalty, friendliness, justice, kindness, truthfulness, and unity in relationships.

The Holy Qur’an says, “Woe to the backbiter, even if his tale is true, for the taint is in his motive.”

Try to avoid backbiting and gossip, which can happen when you discuss private details about someone or something with friends, family members.

As gossip moves from one person to the next, the information often becomes embellished, which may cause harm or embarrassment to you and spouse.

Try to share something positive about your spouse under negative discussion instead.

Just think, how will your spouse react when spoken about him/her whether he/she dislikes and become unhappy about what you said?

Communicate about the issues directly with your spouse than to speak about your spouse behind their backs.

Couples can talk about and agree on how they will communicate respectfully about each other when they are privately together.

The spouse often shares information about their relationships with mutual friends and family members. This includes topics such as marriages, divorces, pregnancies, and births.

Before sharing the information, just think whether it will strengthen your relationship or break. Always speak positively about your spouse. A single drop of water makes an ocean.

Never be unsatisfied of your spouse. Verily, Allah curses the partner who is unhappy and pester their spouse.


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