ይህን አጋራ
ምንጭ: www.wisewives.org
በጥቅምት 17 2012, ጥበበኛ ሚስቶች ኦሬንጅ ካውንቲ እህት በማግኘታቸው እድለኛ ነበሩ። ኖሃ አልሹጋይሪ, ወይዘሪት. ጋብቻ እና የቤተሰብ ቴራፒስት, ሚስት ለባሏ ታዛዥነት ስላለው አከራካሪ እና ስስ ጉዳይ ንገረን።.
To set the stage for discussion, Noha started by explaining a very important concept that all Muslims should keep in mind when discussing any religious obligation.
Urf:
This concept is called urf. It is the Arabic word for social/cultural norms. በእስልምና, ትላለች, “urf is taken very seriously as long as it doesn’t go against our religion.”
ለምሳሌ, ሂጃብ (proper Islamic dress) is obligated on women. The urf of hijab are determined by where and when you live. From the time of the Prophet (አ.አ), hijab has been worn differently from time to time and from place to place.
Urf describe the dynamic changes of things around us and the concept of marriage is also impacted by it. We live in the West in 2012. We must look at the social norms here and accommodate them, but based on the Quran and sunnah.“We can never make things up or go against what our religion tells us to do. The religion is supreme,” አሷ አለች.
She asked us what we thought our social norms say about the relationship between husband and wife. One woman responded by saying that there is a strong focus on equality of roles where usually both partners are working and both partners help out in the home. Versus in the past where a relationship might have been based on “equity” where the wife looks after the home and kids and the husband works outside of the home as the sole breadwinner.
This is very true although you will find a wide range of living situations across the world. “There is no limitation on these roles. Islam does not say that the woman should not work outside the home, and Islam does not say that the husband should not help inside the home,” Noha said. በተቃራኒው, the sunnah of the Prophet (አ.አ) tells us that he used to mend his own clothes and help with household chores. And he married a woman named Khadija who was one the biggest businesswomen during their time.
በስተመጨረሻ, couples may choose to live in any way that they want when it comes to housework, career, ወዘተ. as long as they are happy and satisfied with their roles and as long as they are upholding their religious values.
“Ultimately what you decide you are going to do as a wife and what your husband is going to do is going to be up to your agreements, up to your discussion, up to your urf and your understanding of what your roles are," አሷ አለች. Later in this series, you will see how urf affects many aspects of the specific issue of obedience.
አባት 30:21:
In the end marriage is meant to be a beneficial part of life, so much that its positive light is even mentioned in the Quran in ayah 30:21.
So let’s delve right into this first ayah on her list. አባት 30:21 ይላል።, ”And among His Signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may come to for Sakina. በእናንተም ውስጥ መውዳንና እዝነትን አደረገ. በእውነት, በዚህ ውስጥ ለሚያስተነትኑ ሕዝቦች ምልክቶች አልሉ።
Even though we have not talked about the specific topic of obedience yet, she said that we must discuss this ayah when we talk about anything to do with marriage.
She explained this ayah to us by defining the Arabic words sakina and mawada. The word sakina means inner peace, መረጋጋት, serenity…it is the goal of any relationship. To generate sakina, each spouse must have mawada and mercy. Mawada is a word describing a certain level of love. “A higher form of love," አሷ አለች. “It means the type of love that motivates you to act on it.”
Allah’s goal is to make every marriage have sakina, therefore He put down guidelines, a framework, that must be followed in order to maintain it, it does not just happen automatically.
This framework includes guidelines that should be followed before, during, (or even after marriage if a divorce were to occur) in order for sakina to exist and to have a good marriage in the sight of Allah.
ለምሳሌ, before marriage a person should: እድሜ እና ደረጃችን ከህዝብ አንፃር ችግር ይሆናል። (a prayer for making decisions), get to know their future spouse in a halal way (not going against any religious values), choose a pious husband with a good character. This isn’t the full list but you get the idea.
She dwelled on the element of choosing someone with a good character for a while saying that you should never just focus on just his religiosity, you must take his character and personality into account. You must “ጠቅ ያድርጉ” with the person and like his personality. It’s not enough to just see someone’s outward actions of religiosity like praying and fasting. You must get to know his character in order to distinguish between a suitable spouse and a non-suitable one.
During marriage each spouse must follow certain rules and guidelines as well. She asked us what we thought these include, some responded saying: having respect, caring for one another, being honest, being trusting…etc.
She agreed with all these and added that in order to delve more into the guidelines of marriage set by Allah we must study more ayahs and hadiths.
ምንጭ: www.wisewives.org
ንፁህ ጋብቻ
….ልምምድ ፍፁም የሚያደርግበት
ይህንን ጽሑፍ በድር ጣቢያዎ ላይ መጠቀም ይፈልጋሉ, ብሎግ ወይም ጋዜጣ? የሚከተለውን መረጃ እስካካተቱ ድረስ ይህንን መረጃ እንደገና ለማተም እንኳን ደህና መጡ:ምንጭ: www.PureMatrimony.com - ሙስሊሞችን ለመለማመድ የዓለማችን ትልቁ የጋብቻ ጣቢያ
ይህን ጽሑፍ ውደድ? ለዝማኔዎቻችን እዚህ በመመዝገብ የበለጠ ይወቁ:https://www.muslimmarriageguide.com
ወይም ወደ እኛ በመግባት ኢንሻአላህ ግማሹን ዲናችሁ ለማግኘት ይመዝገቡ:www.PureMatrimony.com
መልስ አስቀምጥ