أريد أن أنضم إلى الزواج الخالص ولكن?

One of my relatives has come to me for the purpose of marriage but I heard to marry from non-relatives is preferred for the sake of the future of the children and other reasons. What is your opinion on this matter?

إجابة: The principle has been stated by a number of scholars. It points to the fact that genetics and heredity has an effect. There is no doubt that genetics has an effect on the physical and psychological make-up of a person.

This is shown in the hadith where a man came to the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) وقال, “My wife has given birth to a black child.” (He was opposing that child as all of his ascendants were of light skin).

رسول الله (صلى الله عليه وسلم) told him, “Do you own camels?” هو قال, “نعم.” النبي (صلى الله عليه وسلم) قالت, “What colour are they?” هو قال, “Red.” النبي (صلى الله عليه وسلم) سأله, “Is there a dusky one among them ?” هو قال, “نعم.” النبي (صلى الله عليه وسلم) ثم قال , “How has that come about?” The man replied , “It is perhaps due to the strain to which it has reverted.” So the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) told him, “Perhaps that son of yours is due to the strain to which it is reverted.” [1]

This is evidence that genetics does have an effect and there is no doubt about it. لكن, النبي (صلى الله عليه وسلم) وقال أيضا,

“A women is married for [any of] four reasons: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or for her religion. So try to marry one who is religious, may your hands be smeared with dust.” [2]

لذلك, the most important matter in proposing to a women is her piety. The more religious she is and the more beautiful she is then the better she is, regardless if she be a close relative or distant [non-] relative.

The religious women will protect the man’s wealth, الأطفال, and house. Beauty fulfils his needs and lowers his gaze and he will not look to others. والله أعلم.

[1] Recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim.

[2] Recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim.

Shaykh Muhammad bin Saalih al-`Uthaymeen

فتاوى إسلامية في حق المرأة – Darussalam Pg.187-188.