Be 'right' before looking for Mr.Right

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By Pure Matrimony -

I read this quote by Sheikh Usama Abdul Ghani and totally fell
in love with it as it resonates with what I’ve always wanted in a

In this time and day, where the ratio of women to men is almost
10:1, it seems for many that one of the biggest challenges is
finding that ‘one’ person that you’d like to spend your Aakhirah
(the Hereafter) with. For most reverts, and for most
independent Muslimah’s that don’t have family to intervene in
marital matters, it seems like hitting the lotto is easier and more
likely than finding a decent partner. ” Where is he? Does he
even exist? When will my time come?” are all questions that
I’m sure we’ve all been shadowed with at least once.I can’t
answer those questions, I wish I had the answers but I’m no
where close. What I do know, is that I have complete faith and
trust in my Creator, and I truly believe that whatever He has in
store for me, will be, in His own time, not mine. What I do
know, is what I’m looking for in a partner – what I’m willing to
put up with and what I’ll put my foot down for. I’ve had this
debate with family and friends, and it annoys me when women
look for a partner or want a partner, only to want to ‘change’
him during the course of engagement or marriage.That’s the
1st mistake a majority of women make.

If the guy still likes his partying, late nights with the boys,blows
all his dough away, drinks like a fish, has an awful sense of
style, doesn’t pray…whatever…his vices are, if he hasn’t
changed over the past 20-40 odd years or so, you coming
along won’t change that ! Yes, you might be able to make a
difference, you might be able to ‘inspire’ him enough to be a
better man, a better Muslim, a better partner, but at the end of
the day that change should come from within. He’s had X
amount of years to change ! I know too many women that have
‘settled’ only to be constantly disappointed over and over again.

There’s no such thing as a ‘perfect’ man – neither is there a
‘perfect’ woman. So please blow up that imaginary bubble of a
prince in shining armor sweeping you off your feet. That’s
Hollywood, and we all know what a farce Hollywood is ! Look
for a God-fearing individual, a person that thinks not once, not
twice, thrice before he or she commits an act of sin. Look for a
partner that respects and puts his family on the pedestal and
not in the backseat. Because, when you become his family,
you’ll be put on the pedestal as well. Last but not least, look for
a partner that has balance or at least understands it – one that
knows how to juggle work, family, friends. If you understand
balance and priorities, look for a partner that has the same
attitude. Make sure that your future ‘suitor’ mirrors off your
actions. We’ve all heard the saying ‘opposites attract’ , I agree
to that to a certain extent. However, if you’ve met the ‘perfect’
guy but you’re a homebody and he loves hanging out till the
wee hours of the night, that might be bearable in the beginning,
but it’s only a matter of time before that becomes a conflict of
interest. Sometimes the 1st thing that attracts you to someone,
could be the very thing that turns you off later, it’s only a matter
of time when!

If you are a person of deen, then be with a person that brings
you closer to the gates of Heaven, not further away from it.

I’m going to end this by an amazing quote by the very talented

Source: Zhijaab,

2 Comments to Be 'right' before looking for Mr.Right

  1. Zoyah hasan

    thank you ..wit this i wil b able to take a decision well thank you for getting this here…

  2. Jazak’Allah.. Yes we should search for a partner accompany us in heaven. Rabbana Hab Lana min Azwajinna wa zurriyatina qurata ayun wa jaulna lil mutaqeena imama

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