Author: Sister Arfa Saira Iqbal
Have you ever dreamed of the day you’ll meet Mr Amazing, fall madly in love with him and then get married and live happily ever after?
You’re not alone!
It’s perfectly normal to dream about finding love with Mr Right, someone who’ll sweep you off your feet, love you unconditionally and be your soulmate…
Someone who cries when you’re sad, the perfect prince charming who’ll move heaven and Earth to make you happy and would do anything for you.
Of course, your Mr Right is just like the movies… he’s every girl’s dream:
- he makes you laugh hysterically, even when you don’t want to
- he’s a hopeless romantic
- he’s strong when he has to be, gentle when he needs to be
- he’s brilliant with kids
- he places your needs and your happiness above your own
- he tells you he loves you more than the stars in the sky
- he recites poetry to you and makes you feel like you’re the only one in the world for him
It’s perfectly natural to want someone who wants to place you at the center of their universe…
But the reality is FAR from that!
You see, the number of girls who have their hearts broken when they marry their so-called prince charming is off the charts…
Here’s the issue – men love the chase. They love the thrill of pursuing a girl… and will say and do anything to have her…
But once they have her, complacency sets in. When they get married, life gets in the way… and the man who said he’d move heaven and Earth for you can’t even move out of his parent’s home!
And if you’re lucky enough to have your own place, you’ll likely have other things to deal with which all make your dream man seem as if he’s floating off on another planet somewhere… and you’re left wondering what happened.
So if I could give any piece of advice to you, it would be this: Don’t marry because you’re lonely… or because your friends are doing it… or because you think a man will fix your problems…
Instead, pursue a deeper relationship with Allah. Know Him more, worship Him as He deserves to be worshipped and take the time to learn more about yourself. Throw away your endless list of unrealistic expectations of a man and allow Allah to write them for you instead.
Having such high expectations of a guy is actually unfair on him… and exhausting for him to live up to. However, when you allow Allah to dictate what those expectations should be, life changes for the better.
In the long run, you’ll be much happier, calmer and in a better place.
Because here’s the thing – if you place your love and happiness in who you consider to be the ‘ideal man’, what happens when they’re no longer there for you?
No one should EVER have so much control over your happiness… and worse… YOU will have allowed it to happen!
When you place your happiness with your Creator instead, you’re not allowing your happiness to be controlled by anyone. And this firmly shifts the balance of power over your own life back in YOUR hands.
The end result is that you’ll make better decisions when looking for the right man… and it will also help you avoid making the wrong decisions.
In fact, there are so many things to consider when searching for Mr Right, that we did an entire podcast on this here: MISTAKES WHEN FINDING MR RIGHT
In it, I discuss all the pitfalls and mistakes young sisters make when searching for Mr Right. It’s well worth the listen, so make sure you listen to it here: MISTAKES WHEN FINDING MR RIGHT
Sister Arfa Saira Iqbal