Author: Aisha Al Hajjar
THINK back to your childhood. Are the memories that come up blissful or are they full of sorrow and pain? Either way they are probably dependent upon how you were cared for or treated as a child. The fond or hurtful feelings associated with your childhood are most likely a result of the way your parents loved and sheltered you from grown up worries, or not.
Now think about your own children. What do you want them to take away from their childhood?
How would you feel if you knew that they would look back on this period with pain and sorrow? As a parent, I am quite sure that each of us went into this journey with the greatest hopes and dreams for our children. Our vision for our children most likely started out full of love and happiness.
Unfortunately, many parents get so involved in their own woes of responsibility and circumstance that they inadvertently sabotage their children’s childhood. Many make the mistake of not spending enough loving time or of sharing adult worries with their kids.
Childhood really should be a time of bliss. The children shouldn’t be aware of your financial struggles, marital discord, or job pressures. Children should be sheltered from this type of adult information. Allowing these things to become evident to your kids only serves to worry them and inevitably leads them to self-blame for your troubles.
Regardless of your intentions in the off comment about their other parent that allows you to blow off steam, the child will be scarred from such information. Likewise, speaking of your worry about making next month’s rent payment will only serve to plant seeds of instability and fear in your child.
Until they are adults, we shouldn’t expect our children to be able to handle such grown up topics. Ideally, their world should be surrounded in the security that they are loved, their parents love each other and are committed to the family unit, and their basic needs will always be met. In short, childhood should be a time surrounded in love, support, and assurance.
At some point they will grow up and look back on this time with reflections of bliss or of sorrow. Their recollection of this time makes an imprint on how they adjust as adults. Many of us now are still healing from our own childhoods. It’s up to each one of us to perpetuate the security and love we feel from our past or to break the cycle of insecurity and sorrow.
The good thing is that no matter your situation, you have a choice of how you portray things to your children. It’s okay to shelter them in reassurance. Set your stresses aside for a moment and laugh and play with your kids. You may just find your own healing in simple acts of loving playfulness with your children.
Cherish them enough to put them before the tedious duties of the day and allow them to feel blissful in your love and care. Guarding their innocence and investing time in your children today, will make a world of difference tomorrow.
….Where Practice Makes Perfect
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