Marriage is a basic tool. A tool for a new life. In addition to that, it is a tool to discover life. To have a new life with a beloved one and to have offsprings. What is important in marriage?. Trust, love, understanding, adjustment, etc. These are the major things involved in marriage.
I asked my friends and cousins what kind of husband or boy you expect for. I got many suggestions and new taste. Parents dream that the boy should be from rich class, a well-bred family that’s it. Similarly, when I asked girls. They answered, he should be handsome, fair, tall, lengthy eyebrows, dark eyebrows, slim, rich, abroad settled, high payment, city boy, no sisters-in-law, and at last comes to character, educated and religious.
Correspondingly when we ask boys parents. Their answer is she should be fair, slim, tall or medium height, below the age 23, good status, high dowry. Boys answer is, she should be fair, slim, medium height, modern, educated, etc.
What is conditional love?
Conditional love is nothing but above mentioned. The desires and expectations for so and so. These are my conditions for the best partner. So I will only love a person more and more if he falls under my expectations and conditions. If not I will love him but will not express or show as to how he/she deserves.
Through this kind of love, you are trying to express or show off how much you love your partner. In comparison, you are not expressing love so its an act of hypocrisy. No one is perfect in this world. God has not created everyone with the same beauty, style, skills, etc.
In brief, if a person only searches for fair skin, tall, good status, etc. In this case what about black skin, poor are there any rules that they should not get married to a boy or girl who is fair skin. Is it said in Quran or in hadeeths that a low-class girl or boy should not marry a high-class boy or girl.
In case, after marriage, you come to know that it was photo effects or through some accident, he/she lost his beauty what will you do?. He has invested money in some business but there is no profit and his company is at loss will you leave him?. He/she is not going to the gym and gaining weight you will you feel guilty him/her. If he/she is shorter than you will you dislike him/her.
Likewise, if he/she is not spending time with you after marriage does it mean you should divorce him. Furthermore, if he/she is tanning does it mean that she/he is not a centre point of attraction. So because of this conditional love, they are lots of struggles and consequences which couples face.
Cross to conditional love
Marry for love but not for the world. Select a spouse who will be your best life partner. Don’t select a spouse for showoff or lavish life. Because nothing is permanent in this Duniya. Everything in this Duniya is temporary. Hence, seek a spouse who will share your life toward Jannah and not hellfire. Share your Islamic thoughts with your spouse. Indulge them in Islamic activities. But don’t force them cause Islam does not force anyone.
Follow the footsteps of Prophet Muhammad Sallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam and Ayesha and Khadijah Rathi Allahu Anha.
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