Conference Insights Part 3: Reflect on Respect

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By Pure Matrimony -

Author: Wise Wives


On February 5th 2012, Wise Wives held its first multi-speaker event at the Islamic Center of Irvine called the “Respect Conference” that highlighted the importance of respect in a husband/wife relationship.

We were lucky to have three wonderful speakers that gave us so much useful and inspirational knowledge from their personal and professional lives that I’d like to share here.

Two of whose lectures, Noha Alshugairi and Megan Wyatt, I will be summarizing in a blog series because they were interactive lectures and the third, Yasmin Mogahed, will be uploaded as a video. Enjoy!

Even though Megan Wyatt’s lecture was a series of activities, I think that outlining them here for you can be beneficial. By doing them privately within your home, I think that you can gain an insightful meaning into what respect really means specifically to you.

In the 1st activity she asked us to complete the following sentences by writing them down:

  • Respect is:
  • Respect towards a husband is:
  • Respect is shown by:
  • Respect is:
  • Respect means to never:
  • Respect means to always:
  • Respect is important because:
  • Respect is:
  • A respectful wife will:

She asked us to continuously write our thoughts about each one until she stopped us and moved on to the next one. By doing this the audience was urged to dig deep down to think of answers and discover what respect means to them. Then we were given the opportunity to share our thoughts with the person next to us. Try this out one day either alone or with your girlfriends to discover what it means to you.

In the 2nd activity Megan told us to think of a specific scenario of the last time we were disrespectful to our husband. After giving us a lot of time to ponder this, she asked us to write it down.Then asked for a couple people to share with everyone. The purpose of this was to show the root of why disrespect was shown.

After everyone was done writing, she asked us to write down why it happened, then told us to cross that out and write down a deeper reason, then told us to cross that out and write a third, even deeper reason.

Some discovered that the real reason was because of their own insecurities and some discovered that the intent of their husband’s action was not bad in the first place.

Try this and maybe you’ll discover the real reasons behind your disrespect.

In the 3rd activity, she told us to make three columns, in the first we were asked to list three things that we do for or with our husbands on a regular basis. In the second column we were asked to write three things we do with or for our kids, and in the third column three things we do for our household.

Then we were asked to cross out any activity on those lists that someone else can do instead of you. That includes cleaning, going out, feeding your kids…

Then she said that if this activity was done right, we would discover that the only thing not crossed out would be physical intimacy with your husband. She said that this activity is meant to emphasize the importance of this part of marriage.

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….Where Practice Makes Perfect

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