Espouse your daughter to a righteous Muslim

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By Pure Matrimony -

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We should fear evil people more than we fear the Devil because the Devil’s deceit is weak compared with that of an evil friend. For this reason, when a person intends to get married, set up home, start up in business, or travel to somewhere, he should always prefer the pious people who are ahead of him in knowledge and good deeds, so that he can get salvation in the hereafter. If the opposite is done, he who is a slave to his nafs may fall into ruin any moment. The worst friend is he who has love of money, property, and transient, worldly things.

Hadrat Imam-i Rabbani says that one should leave that city if there is a possibility that one may come across there such a person who is attached to worldly objects, money, and property. It is wajib to move from a district where sinners live to the one where there are pious Muslims. When a person meets sinners, the evil in their hearts begins to flow into his heart. They influence him to get attached to worldly things, which will bring him to ruin. Our Master the Prophet ‘sall-Allahu ta’ala ‘alaihi wa sallam’ states, “The love of the world is the root of sins and errors.” In other words, the love of the world, money, property, worldly things, that is, the love of anything other than the love of Allahu ta’ala, is the root of all tragedies and evils. It is the worst of all evils.

A person’s love of money and wealth results in his losing the religion, the faith, and even the world (Allah forbid). Hadrat Imam-i Rabbani says, speaking of the world, “It is like a flamboyant prostitute in heavy make-up.” It is very attractive, so man may be deceived by its appearance and fall in love with it. However, he will be trapped and come to grief the moment he obtains it.

We must be careful to protect our faith and die Muslims. To that end, we should repeat Kalima at-tawhid many times every day, read the Qur’an al-karim, talk about Islam and notable figures of Islam, keep the company of righteous and pious people, thereby filling our hearts with the love of Allah and staying away from the love of money and wealth.

Islam is a medicine, and man is ill. Medicine is needed to cure a patient. The patient has to take the medicine, even if it may have a bitter taste. That is, he has to carry out the orders of Islam, even though his nafs finds them difficult to do. Or else, the pain and sufferings in the hereafter cannot even be compared with those in the world. If a spark from the fire of the hereafter landed on the earth, the earth would burn to ashes and cease to exist. Man, because of his heedlessness and ignorance, fails to contemplate the calamities he will experience in the world to come. Instead, he eats, drinks, strolls, dances, and roars with laughter. However, he who reflects on the terrifying events of the Day of Judgment cries and moans to such an extent that he cannot eat and drink anything. In the end, he will be skin and bones. In order not to face scary calamities on the Day of Judgment, we must make an effort to carry out what our religion has commanded and to refrain from what it has prohibited.

Marriage and types of women
A person who desires to get married should perform isti(k)hâra[1] several times; then, he should trust himself to Allâhu ta’âlâ and ask His help to protect him from being interfered with and deceived by his nafs and by base people.

Seeing the girl before the nikâh is a sunnat; also it will facilitate a good relationship between the mates during marriage. One should search for a sâliha (pious) woman who has good manners, who has a noble ancestry, and who is also fertile. There is a saying which states that a man should avoid four types of women:
1 – A divorced woman who lived comfortably with her former husband and now is longing for those days and recollecting them.
2 – One should not marry a girl with brags about her money, rank or father.
3 – One should not marry a girl who will distribute her husband’s property among her own relatives or acquaintances.
4 – One should avoid marrying to a woman who has the reputation of being immodest and who would cause scandals.

Marriage of Muslim Girls
Our blessed Prophet ‘sall-Allâhu ta’âlâ ‘alaihi wa sallam’ stated: “If a person gives his daughter (in marriage) to a fâsiq [evil, wicked] person, he will have committed a breach of trust. Hell is the destination for people guilty o breach of trust.” He stated in another hadîth-i-sherîf: “A person who gives his daughter to a fâsiq person is an accursed one.” A hadîth-i-sherîf quoted in the commentary to Shir’at-ul-islâm reads: “Let a person who wants to be blessed with my shafâ’at (intercession) not give his daughter to a fâsiq person.” Another hadîth-i-sherîf, which is quoted in the chapter admonishing against delaying one’s daily prayers of namâz in the book entitiled Eshi’at-ul-leme’ât reads: Yâ Alî! Do not delay three things! Perform a namâz within its early time! If a janâza is ready for burial perform the namâz of janâz immediately! When a suitable man wants to marry your daughter, widowed or virginal, see to it that the marriage be performed immediately!” By ‘suitable (kufw is the original word used)’, the blessed Messenger of Allah means a ‘Muslim who regularly performs his daily prayers of namâz, avoids sinning, and earns his living by way of halâl’.

A Muslim should espouse his daughter to a sâlih Muslim. He should look for a son-in-law who is rich, not in property and position, but in religious and moral values. If a Muslim gives his daughter to a disbeliever in marriage, both he himself and his daughter will become disbelievers. Men who know and their religion, Islam, will observe Islam in all their acts and manners, thus becoming useful and auspicious both for themselves and their family, kith and kin, and all the other creatures. To this end, a person who loves his daughter and wants her to be happy both in the world and in the Hereafter should not let her go out without properly covering herself and prevent her from listening to and watching radio and television programs with a deleterious effect on her moral conduct and from going to the movies and joining social groups that will spoil her character.

[1]: Salât of istikhâra: A namâz performed to seek Allahu ta’âlâ’s guidance when one is unsure about a decision.

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