Searching for a good spouse takes time, eats emotional energy and can really stress you out…
You speak to someone, go through the process of meeting them and the family, have lots of conversations and then eventually realize you’re not right for one another…
It’s exhausting and can really play with your emotions as you get your hopes up, only to have them dashed a short while later… leaving you a little bruised and more defensive the next time you speak to anyone.
Surely there has to be a better way?
In reality, finding the right person is just a numbers game. The chance of you finding the one who is totally compatible with you immediately is relatively low.
It’s worth remembering a simple rule: Every ‘potential spouse’ fails until you find one doesn’t. That’s it.
There’ll be many false positives and false starts, as you meet people who you think are right… only to discover they are completely wrong for you.
You might meet someone who’s the right fit for you RIGHT NOW… but as the time for nikkah draws close, you discover that you are indeed completely incompatible with one another.
You’re going to have to do a lot of looking, and we’re not going to pretend it’s going to be easy… because it WILL be hard, discouraging and frustrating…
But when Insha’Allah you meet the one (and you will), the struggle will have been totally worth it.
Maybe you’re wondering why it has to be so hard, and the answer to this is very simple. Anything worth having in life is worth working hard for – and this is because it’s human nature not to appreciate the things that come easy.
So don’t despair when it doesn’t work out, just know that for every ‘NO’, you’re one step closer to finding the one who IS right for you!
Incidentally, an easy way to meet lots of the right kinds of people is to use a service such as Pure Matrimony. You get to have 100% full control over who you speak to and who you don’t. We have moderators who monitor conversations between members, plus, sisters can add their wali. This makes the process truly halal.