Ceistean agus Draghan mu Phòsadh Òigridh

Stòr: www.saudilife.net

Ùghdar: Zainab Bint Younus

Umm Zainab and Umm Khadijah answer questions and concerns about youthful marriage.

1) Ciamar a bheir pàrantan taic do dh’ òigridh air ùr phòsadh, both financially and in terms of living arrangements?

Financial support is crucial for those who married while still in high school or just graduated.

A few solutions would be to help the husband find suitable employment, while providing a monthly stipend in the meantime, or at least until they are able to financially support themselves completely.

With regards to living arrangements, both sets of parents can contribute towards renting an apartment, or the couple can work out an arrangement to live with one set of parents at the family home.

Very young couples, such as those who are still in high school, can agree to live apart at their own parents’ homes until they can stand on their own two feet.

2) Should young couples start having children immediately or wait for a while?

Marriage requires a great deal of maturity, and parenthood even more so! Young couples still studying should agree to wait for a stipulated amount of time before starting a family, which is Islamically allowed as long as both parties agree. They first need to adjust to marriage itself before taking on the incredible responsibility of parenthood.

While Islam encourages married couples to have children, and evidence proves that it’s healthier to have children while young, parenthood is a huge responsibility that many young adults don’t take seriously. Just as youth need to educate themselves about marriage before jumping into it headfirst, they also need to educate themselves about parenthood and what to expect. It is imperative that they fully understand the severity and repercussions of parenthood.

Gu mì-fhortanach, too many zealous young couples jump into parenthood immediately after marriage, and cannot cope with the huge learning curve required of them. Especially in cases where the couple themselves are having difficulty in their relationship, bringing children into a difficult situation only makes things worse, not better.

3) Should young couples expect to be in love immediately before or after marriage? How do they know what love is?

Two situations are most common when youthful marriage comes up. In the first scenario, the couple have already met and interacted (often at school, university, etc.) and feel that they’re already in love; they wish to marry so that they can prevent themselves from committing any sins. In the second, the youth have not ‘met’ anyone yet but want to get married to preserve their chastity.

In the first situation, there is a hadith which is applicable: Narrated by IbnMaajah (1847),“There is nothing better for two who love one another than marriage.” (This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan Ibn Maajah).

In the second situation, both sides need to be aware that as long as they have chosen correctly (with sincerity, tuigse, and maturity), both the lust and love will come as they get to know each other on a daily basis.

In both situations, the youth need to be made aware of what ‘love’ truly means. The feeling/ experience of being “IN love” is very different from the type of love that will evolve in a long-term relationship (i.e.. Pòsadh). They cannot expect their marriage to be healthy or long-term if they expect that the giddy feeling of being in love will last; Leis an fhìrinn innse, what they can count on is that it will fade away very quickly, which is where the true test of maturity, uallach, and dedication to their marriage lies.

True love is one that takes longer to show itself, but once planted, is harder to cut. Youth have to understand that the ‘love’ they think they feel initially is more lust then deep love.

4) How do parents know if their young adults are emotionally mature enough for marriage? Dè ma tha pàrant ag iarraidh taic a thoirt don òige aca (esp. mic) Ann a bhith a 'pòsadh tràth, ach fios a bhith agad nach eil an leanabh aca aibidh gu leòr airson a làimhseachadh?

Bidh sinn reusanta: Tha a 'mhòr-chuid de phàrantan an-diugh beagan boillsgile a rèir aibidh na cloinne aca, gu sònraichte am mic. Tha mòran de mhàthraichean a 'maladh a' maladh a mhic gu bhith a 'smaoineachadh gu bheil an saoghal a' tionndadh mun cuairt orra, An àite a bhith gan togail gus a bhith nam fir òga is inbhich cunntachail le mar a bheir fios do dhuine eile!

Ma tha òganach nach eil tòcail gu h-aibidh tinn airson pòsadh agus gu bheil na pàrantan a 'tuigsinn sin, An uairsin bu chòir dhaibh mìneachadh dhaibh a thaobh Cumhachan soilleir nach e pòsadh rudeigin ri chluich leis. Tha dleastanasan agus dleastanasan ann chan ann a-mhàin dhaibh fhèin ach do neach eile cuideachd. Aon uair 's gun deach an gealladh a dhèanamh, Chan urrainn dhut dìreach a bhith a 'co-dhùnadh a-màireach is fheàrr leat gu h-obann an aon bheatha agus gun dhleastanasan.

Ma tha an òganach no am boireannach òg ag iarraidh pòsadh ach a bhith a 'taisbeanadh tòrr neo-àbhaisteach, "Deuchainn" iad mar dhòigh air a bhith a 'comharrachadh dè a dh' fheumas iad ionnsachadh. Na fìor dhleastanasan a th 'ann a tha a' toirt blas beag de na dh 'fheumas iad a bhith a' dùileachadh ann am pòsadh; Mar eisimpleir, A 'lorg agus a' cumail suas obair, A 'toirt aire do sheann sheann daoine-seanairean, ag ionnsachadh mar a stiùireas tu dachaigh (Tha seo a 'buntainn gu co-ionann ri balaich a bharrachd air nigheanan), a bhith air a dhèanamh gus dèiligeadh ri buaidh tòcail nan gnìomhan aca, msaa.

5) A bheil e nas fhasa pòsadh aig aois nas òige san taobh an iar no ann an dùthchannan Muslamach?

Tha pòsadh òigridh duilich do Muslamaich san taobh an iar a bharrachd air na dùthchannan Muslamach, bho gach cuid sealladh laghail is sobietal.

Tha aois nas ìsle laghail aig dùthchannan an iar aig am faod inbhich òga pòsadh le no às aonais cead phàrantan. Anns a 'mhòr-chuid de chùisean tha an Linnginn an Linn an Lagha airson pòsadh le cead phàrantan 16 Airson gach cuid gnè.

Seòlta, Tha pàrantan òga a 'dì-mhisneachadh gu làidir le pàrantan agus co-aoisean, Mar a chithear e gu bhith na dhleastanas 'ro bhig' airson òigridh a ghabhail; Chan eil an comann a 'deing an dem airson uallach mar sin. Mura h-eil siostam taic làidir aig òigridh, Tha e air leth duilich dhaibh a bhith a 'pòsadh a-mhàin, ach cùm suas a 'phòsadh tro na dùbhlain do-sheachanta a tha iad an aghaidh.

Mar as trice tha dùthchannan Muslamach nas trice barrachd lax nuair a thig e gu aois laghail airson pòsadh, Ged a tha mòran dhùthchannan a 'feuchainn ri cuir an aghaidh seo le bhith a' togail an aois laghail gu 18. Agus an gabhadh Allah aithreachas an fheadhainn a rinn zina, because it is traditional in many Muslim countries for people to marry at a younger age, it is much more common and easier in legal terms for youth to get married. In many areas, it is still easier for youth to marry in Muslim countries and receive support from their families and community at large.

Gu mì-fhortanach, the media only reports cases where youth (especially young women) have been taken advantage of or had their rights abused.

The main challenges facing youth who wish to marry in Muslim countries are societal obstacles, such as the practice of demanding an extravagant amount of money for the mahr. A bharrachd air sin, many youth (especially young men) are not raised to be emotionally mature; mar sin, Thèid eadhon an fheadhainn a tha a 'pòsadh aig aois nas tràithe a' dol tro iomadh duilgheadas oir chan eil iad air ionnsachadh mu rùn còmhstri, co-rèiteachadh, agus mar a gheibhear tuairmse do na dùthchannan aca.

Tha pòsadh òigridh na ghrèin a dh 'fheumar ath-bheothachadh gus an cuir an aghaidh mòran itean sòisealta a' dol an-diugh, an dà chuid san taobh an iar agus ann an dùthchannan Muslamach. Tha tricead cult cultair le hyper a 'ciallachadh gu bheil luchd-ciùil òga fosgailte do bhun-bheachdan agus ìomhaighean nas òige agus nas òige, mar sin a 'lasadh miann corporra. Gu mì-fhortanach, Chan eilear a 'teagasg ìre tòcail agus inntinn agus air an àrach aig ìre coltach ris, a 'fàgail pàrantan agus òigridh muslamach ann an ro-shuidheachaidh a dh' fheumas a bhith air a chòmhdach.

Cultivating a holistic understanding of an Islamic marriage is necessary for all young Muslims who want to do the right thing by getting married early. They and their parents must be aware of the Islamic responsibilities that marriage entails, as well as the emotional maturity and intelligence to maintain a dedicated, long-term relationship. Muslim youth who make the choice to marry young will face many challenges and tests, including societal pressure, financial difficulty, and personal growing pains.

It must also be understood that young marriages are not for everyone, and it cannot be considered a blanket solution to all of society’s problems. As much as we strongly advise young Muslims to consider a young marriage, please proceed with caution.

Mu dheireadh, it must be remembered that all success lies in Allah’s Hands. Always turn to Him in prayer, aithreachas, and supplication, trusting in Him to guide you to that which is best for you in this world and the Hereafter. Only by having complete tawakkul in Him alone can Muslim youth hope to have successful marriages that will, inshaAllah, lead to a successful Aakihrah. We ask Allah to help all young Muslims abstain from the haram and pursue the halal for His Sake, and find spouses that will be a source of love, serenity, and a partner in the journey to Jannah.

Stòr: www.saudilife.net

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