Pataje sa
Pa Fatima Barkatullah – iERA Oratè & Enstriktè
Mwen gen yon sijesyon ki ta ka ede sè ki angaje nan chèche konesans. Premye mwen pral mansyone kèk enfòmasyon background:
Depi mwen te yon jèn fi mwen te vle vin yon 'Aalimah, yon fanm ki te gen konesans vre nan Islam ak fiqh. Papa m 'se yon jij Konsèy Deobandi 'Aalim ak UK Shari'ah e li te fè nou konnen ke chèche konesans nan Deen an se nimewo en.. Pi wo a ou ta ka rive. Se konsa, nan laj 16 apre yo fin fè byen nan GCSE mwen yo (WL) li mennen m Cairo e li kite m la.
Wi, Mwen te konn pèdi chak jou, koze pa karaktè dezagreyab (nenpòt moun ki pa marye, Moun ki te nan peyi Lejip pral konnen sa m' vle di ), ak tou dousman men siman, Mwen te aprann arab, te vwayaje, te rankontre elèv Al Azhar ki soti atravè mond lan ak plizyè talan diferan yo, elaji orizon mwen, etidye nan Al-Azhar, te vin nan lari. Mwen te fikse ke mwen ta etidye Shari'ah nan Al Azhar, epi etidye la pou de ane epi pase egzamen mwen yo, lè akòz sikonstans enprevi mwen te oblije retounen nan UK a. Isit la, Allah te beni m pou m fiyanse a laj 18 epi marye nan 19 epi kontinye genyen 3 timoun yo (byen lwen tèlman). Mwen pa t 'reyèlman kap marye ak reyèlman te vle tounen nan Al-Azhar.
Mwen te mande ki jan mwen ta ka chèche konesans epi marye. Se konsa, papa m 'sigjere mwen fè li yon pati nan dòt mwen an. Yon bagay ke mwen te fè, e ke mwen ta ankouraje sè ki serye sou chèche konesans fè se fè mention it when they meet prospective spouses and then put it in their marriage contracts.
My dowry for example, was a sum of money and “provision to study the Shari’ah (or Islamic Studies) up to degree level.” ( I was an expensive wife! )
This has a profound impact on the way your husband and you yourself perceive your seeking knowledge. No matter what happens later, he will honour your efforts to seek knowledge because it was mentioned from day one. Many sisters complain that their husbands don’t see the value in them seeking knowledge or don’t help them to be able to seek knowledge (by looking after the kids etc). But I assure you, if it is a part of your dowry, then he will insha Allah value it more. Many husbands of course do help their wives even if it isn’t mentioned in the marriage contract. But this way, you can be sure.
My husband (may Allah bless him) actually took me to Makkah (Ummul Qura) and applied for me and Sharjah University, but due to his job issues, we couldn’t take the places there. Plan B was to study through distance learning – The American Open University was an alternative. Then practically speaking, you have to realise that there will be times when you can’t study and times when you can. And then maximise your time usage, even when you have kids, after their needs are met. Dedicate some time every day. Commitment is what is needed-never giving up.
Steve Coveys book: The Seven Habits has really helped me too. I’d recommend it to sisters who are struggling to achieve their goals: have a mission statement, begin with the end in mind etc Are great habits we can adopt. You can get a summarised version of the 7 habits on audio which is really useful because you can internalise the 7 habits in a shorter length of time.
As Sheikh Tawfique Chowdhury always says: “Reach for the stars!”
Pa Fatima Barkatullah – iERA Oratè & Enstriktè
Èske mwen ka fè remake ke maryaj se yon eksperyans trè difisil pou tou de pati yo – You can see Sr.Fatima Barkatullah at the upcoming conferences:
- iERA Seeds of Change, Sunday May 20th, London
- Mercy Mission BeingME Sisters Conference, June 2nd, London
- Mercy Mission BeingME Sisters Conference, June 3rd, Manchester
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Sous : http://muslimmotherhood.blogspot.co.uk/
Asalaam u alaikum sister,
Jizaakillah khair for your article. Most of us find it very hard to juggle married life and our studies. I have been married for twelve years now alhumdulillah and have done 16 courses with LOC and AOU and am still continuing my studies. When I look back at those years, I can still vividly remember the day my husband and I filled out my registration form. How thrilled I was when my first study pack arrived! And how I used to have butterflies in my stomach before the oral exams, especially when it was sheikh Daud Abdullah whose only response to my answer would be a looonnggg pause followed by a sudden “Hun”! May Allah taala Bless all our teachers. Amin. But in all honesty after the taufeeq of Allah taala if there was anything that got me going during all those years, it was the support from my husband. How can I ever thank him for the time he used to take out from his busy schedule, he was studying to become an orthopaedics surgeon, to help me revise for my exams. Trips to Islamic book stores where he would buy me dozens of books, even though he didn’t have a lot of spare money. How he wouldn’t mind if he had to eat the same food for days because I was too busy doing my assignments and exams and couldn’t find time to cook. But most of all, when I had children, and couldn’t study here, he would let me go to Pakistan and stay there for three months to prepare for my exams. And I could just go on and on!
From my experience i feel that for a girl to pursue her studies after marriage it is essential that she gets the support from those around her. Both moral and physical. Without that support it becomes quite a tough ask.
Alo,
Amina Ijaz
Lapè, sè. I was on the dream while reading your post. If I get a wife like you, a true knowledge seeker… I would put my all effort to help her on study. But unfortunately the bride I find, they are not really interested to study seriously, though for the sake of discussion most of the muslims are saying “manje midi ak madanm ou ansanm fè li santi l pi espesyal tou, I need to learn more… I want to study…” But really they do fail.
Sè, i dont get one thing. U mentioned, ‘dowry’. Do you mean the ‘dowry’ you gave your husband?? Or are you talking about Mahr?? Which one is it?
Whether you mention it in the marriage contract of not, the same rules dont apply outside the US/UK/Canada, i mean MOST cases. A woman need to struggle to find her way through her studies. Wi, some husbands maybe very encouraging, most arent!
As long as you’ve got the family together,a husband will always be ok,not otherwise,n most of the time its difficult to juggle house work and studies.
Lucky are those who get them all..
Jazakallah for the article.
She means the Mahr
My dear sister,,,,in the above suggestion you only address the female(sè) .i mean to say that males also need to gain the knowledge…i got myself so much motivated about attaining the islamic knowledge…So We(the Brothers) are also here to gain such a beautiful advices and suggestions..Thanks for the post
One negative thing which I dint like about the blog is the mention of the word dowry. It is not supposed to be a part of any marriage whether in any religion.
Jazakillah khair sis