How do you deal with a husband who has a sexual addiction?
What can you do to help him overcome this problem? Is your marriage doomed because of a porn addiction?
Get the answers and more when you join sister Arfa Saira Iqbal and brother Bara Aldasouqi as they discuss this important topic.
How To Deal With Pornography
*Playing – Pure Matrimony Jingles*
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*Discussion begins here*
Arfa: Bismillah! Assalamu Alaikkum (wrb) and welcome to the family matters show. I’m your host Sis. Arfa Saira Iqbal, Head of Pure Matrimony and with me today is Brother Bara Aldasouqi. I think I said that right (chuckles). Br. Bara is from “Purify your gaze” and an extremely amazing organization which really helps brothers and sisters who are struggling with any kind of Sexual Addiction. So, I think this is going to be an interesting topic if something that I feel that in the Muslim space especially it’s not really discussed because its like considered to be a debut topic and people don’t tend to talk about these things within our kind of like, circles. But, we want specifically talk about the sort of issues that are affecting the sisters. In this particular podcast, we are going to looking at questions, that Sister’s have been asking. Insha Allah, there will be Part2 and that will be questions from the brother’s side.
So, Let’s get started. Assalamu Alaikkum Br. Bara.
Bara: Wa Alaikkum Salaam(wrb)
Arfa: (Smiling) How are you, Brother? Are you okay?
Bara: (repeats) Alhamdulillah! I’m doing well. Absolutely honoured to be here. Jazzakumullah Khair for having me on here. I just think about some other questions that came in and brings to mind in fact that there is a lot of people who are experiencing the darkness in their lives, there are a lot of people who are experiencing darkness in their marriages, and (pauses) it just brings, Subhanallah, it moves my heart to know about that but the goodness is that as much darkness out there, there is outside there is also light.
Arfa: Yeah… Alhamdulillah!
Bara: continues… there is also progress and I’m sure everybody is listening to this. I congratulate you because you are seeking out the lights, so my prayer to first and foremost is that this an opportunity to spread the light of Allah SWT and the light of healing.
Arfa: Aameen. I think to be honest with you Br. Bara, we get questions about this all time and we just don’t have the resources to be able to deal with this because honestly, it’s such a difficult topic unless you are specialized in this area, it is (repeats) really difficult to advise anyone. This is where your specialism comes in. Let’s just talk about some basics at the moment. In your estimation, what do you think is this sort of overall percentage of Muslims dealing with this problem. Is it a really massive problem or small, what kind of number or figures of the problem we are dealing with it?
Bara: So, It depends on what do you mean by the problem. Because there are different levels in individual turning to sexual behaviour, like turning to pornography instead there are people who are severely addicted. People who are in a place where they need professional help and if they don’t get it and all, like we’ve heard the addiction will continue to develop. In certain numbers for that, the numbers vary but in terms of a number of people who have a developed sexual addiction, research has it between 1 and 12 individual.
Arfa: Wow, Ok! That’s quite a lot. Subhanallah!
Bara: Continues… That’s a developed sexual addiction. In terms of people accessing pornography, the numbers are, when it comes to young man for example, somewhere in the range of 60 to 70%. The young men give pornography at least once a week.
Arfa: That’s quite shocking! I knew it was a problem but I guess I wasn’t really prepared for that kind of an answer, maybe you’d say something like 10% of the population or something, but that’s really bad. It is over half of all man and that’s shocking actually, Subhanallah!
Bara: Yeah. That figure in particular, is referring to young men, but I’m not sure what the figure for man in general. But it gives you an idea if someone is starting at the young age. There is a lot of people who are at risk of developing an addiction and I think that’s the main topic of discussion today, because we’re getting Sister’s who are saying, my husband is addicted, in other words, he cannot stop or he wants to stop, he says he tries to stop or he promises that he is never going to do it again and yet he does. And that’s what we are really talking about it here, I believe.
Arfa: Yeah, Absolutely, as your thoughts bring us to the first question, a sister asked my husband watches pornography content, how do I deal with him?
Bara: I appreciate that question, honestly, I feel that is essential what you are talking about the entire…
For more of this interesting & REAL discussion, please listen to the audio above or download from the URL here: http://traffic.libsyn.com/purematrimony/Purify_your_gaze_pt_1_sisters.mp3
Resources mentioned in this episode – Hypersexual Hyper Inventory: http://purifyyourgaze.com/take-the-quiz/
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