If you struggle to get people to help you, or find it hard to win the respect of your family, then perhaps you need to check on whether or not you’re being kind or being harsh when dealing with them.
Kindness is considered to be one of the hallmarks of a Muslim – especially in a world where this very characteristic seems to be disappearing. Being kind in all matters is essential for our daily interactions, since it’s something Allah SWT loves and commands:
“Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious; for your Lord knows best who have strayed from His Path, and who are truly guided.”
Here, Allah SWT is telling the believers to be gentle when dealing with the non-Muslims, since harshness will always repel any goodness.
In fact, Allah SWT further tells us in the Quran:
So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him].
Even though Allah SWT is addressing the Prophet SAW in this verse, it’s ALSO a big lesson for us. Allah makes it clear that being gentle is the best way to give dawah – and being harsh or aggressive will turn people away from you.
This rule is applicable to the daily interactions we have with everyone – from our families and friends and children, to the people we work with and those who we deal with on a day to day basis.
A key takeaway from these verses is that if you want to accomplish anything with anyone, always do it from a place of love and kindness and you’ll find people will respond to you positively.
Finally, being kind is a way of not just earning the love and respect and co-operation of others, it’s also a means of attaining Allah’s Mercy too. In an authentic hadith in Abu Dawud and Tirmidi, the Prophet SAW said:
“Whoever is kind, Allah will be kind to him; therefore be kind to man on the earth. He who is in heaven will show mercy on you.”
[Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi]
May Allah SWT make us from those who are kind ameen.
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