First, may Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala grant you a righteous spouse and answer all of your prayers regarding marriage. Among the many beautiful aspects of our religion is that marriage is actually encouraged. The fact that the potential partner is over the internet and not in person around you , does not change any of the conditions of a valid marriage and neither does it lessen the importance of ensuring compatibility between the two of you. With your efforts and the help of Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala, in sha’ Allah, you will be blessed to see this process to a joyful completion.
Second, with particular regards to how to go about getting to know this young man/woman, it is very important that you involve your father/male guardian such as an uncle from either your father’s side or your mother’s side,or a local imam so that they can serve as your wali (guardian).Pure Matrimony has the feature of Wali Integration: keep your wali in the loop with real time message updates of your conversations
Pure Matrimony does not have a chat feature, hence there is no chance of using a web cam. The only option is a message option, similar to email, and ALL messages are moderated . Exchange of contact details is strictly prohibited, and anyone found violating this rule is immediately suspended from using their service and banned from using the website again.
Exchange of contact details is only allowed once mutual compatibility is established, and both parties have decided to see each other before making the final decision of marriage. For example, you could arrange for a Skype (videoconference) session so that both families are able to see each other, interact, and at least become familiar with one another. Phone calls, internet chats, etc. should be focused, not last more than 30 minutes at a time, and as best as possible, conversations should take place during the day time, preferably not more than an hour after salatul `isha (`isha prayer).
Finally, your goal is to exert solid effort to research his/her background, check references for his/her character and personality, and ultimately, be sure that he/she is the person with whom you will in sha’ Allah be able to live a life which is pleasing to Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala.
Keep your parents involved at all times, seek their advice, listen to them, since they know you well and might see aspects of the suitor’s character and personality which are not obvious to you.
Continue to seek the assistance and guidance of Allah through prayer. We wish you the best, and Allah knows best.
For more guidance visit the folllowing links
- How can a matrimonial website where members are left to communicate in Private be Halal? , To learn more about Wali integration on messages at Pure Matrimony.
- How do we keep it Pure? ,To know how Pure Matrimony keeps it pure .
- We Are Just Dating, to know about the steps involved in a focused courtship.
- Muslims Cyber Relationships
- Before considering a Marriage Proposal how to pray Istikhaarah
Excerpted with some modifcations from : onislam.net