Lessons from Laura – Part 2

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By Pure Matrimony -

Author: Wise Wives

Source: wisewives.org

Delving right in, Laura Doyle explained to us how important it is to receive.

When was the last time you got a compliment from someone? Did it go a little something like this:

“You look really nice today.”
“Really, I hardly got any sleep and I feel lousy.”

Laura, however, teaches us to stop deflecting compliments or gifts; whether it is from our spouses or others.

Here are five reasons why we don’t always receive graciously:

1. We might feel like we will owe a debt to that person.
2. To appear modest.
3. We don’t want to feel vulnerable.
4. We have an agenda that interferes.
    For example if your husband says, “I want to take you out to dinner tonight,” 
    and you say “But are you sure we can afford it this week.”
5. Threatens our independence.
    For example if your spouse offers to take the heavy grocery bags from you.

She says that in healthy relationships, there should be no scorecard when it comes to giving and receiving. Gifts should be free!

“Just smile and say thank you,” Laura suggests.

Otherwise a man will never feel like he knows what to give to make you happy. Without the ability to please the other person there can be no intimacy. And you cannot have intimacy without being vulnerable. We should strive to be vulnerable for these three reasons:
1. Acknowledgment that we are human.
2. To have connectivity.
3. Building intimacy.

So the next time you are receiving a compliment or a gift, look the other person in their eyes, do your best to let it all in, then respond by saying, “Thank you.” DO NOT say anything to discount the compliment! If you feel like you need to have duct tape around to put on your mouth then do so!

When your husband is giving, do your best to always notice and thank him, even if it is something you think he should be doing anyway. You can even add in a hug or a kiss with the “thank you” as a cherry on top!

Try this: Get a piece of paper and jot down everything about your husband that you are thankful for; it will help you get some perspective as to how much he should be thanked. Even if it’s the big stuff that you may overlook like how he works everyday to support your family.

Thank him at least 3 times a day everyday for the biggest things he does to the smallest.

And in the next couple days do your best to receive as much as you can. And when someone gives, just remember to smile and say thank you.


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