Men Are The Protectors Of Women

Post Rating

Rate this post
By Pure Matrimony -

Source: Alima,

It seems like your brothers have you under their thumb!?

Erm… I’m not sure what you mean, but okay…

I replied, confused at the sister’s statement. (Everyone is thinking “what did she just say?!”) I must be honest at that time, I rather innocently let it go (and it’s not even a bad thing), however such statements resonate when you’re reminded by something… (I’ll explain in the end how it applies to da’ees).

This conversation came back when I studied the tafseer of this Ayat…

“Men are in charge () of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard…” Surah Nisaa, Ayat 34

Allah ‘azza wa jal is telling us that men are the caretakers of women, not the dictators…

So you ask yourself – what does it mean by the Qawwam? According to Bernard Shaw it means to accomplish something, to preserve, to support, take care of – The image of the Muslim man is to support, to take care of the woman. This supporter is the one who is the maintainer of the family.

Hence, it’s not a privilege, it’s a responsibility. It’s about doing work.

And the righteous women are devoutly obedient, helping them in their vision, in their dreams, in assisting each other to worship Allah jalla wa ‘alaa.

This is misused by some men, but it’s so beautiful as it demonstrates that men have qualities women lack and women have qualities men lack. So Allah has made them to compliment each other so they can work together to be successful.

Women are the counterparts of men – right, worthy, virtuous – One who appreciates the qualities of the qawwam and is right for him.

The qawwam is making possible for this woman to sustain her sensitivity to Allah, he assists her, he is her partner and committed helper – they are the ones who will raise a family and form a cornerstone family = – who will be of those who take this Ummah to another level inshaAllah.

This is what the ideal Man should be! (By the way, I’m not saying this… This is Allah ‘azza wa jal)! He is telling us that Men do have a degree over women when it comes to leading the family, and generally in the Ummah. (Not that sisters can’t make an impact, they can, they do and they did alhamdulillah).

1That Allah has given certain responsibilities to brothers that sisters don’t have. It’s about us all balancing our time out (you have to make time for this) and ensuring you do something for this Ummah, as it really is a responsibility upon us all…

2The Muslim community lacks real leadership and no-one is really taking the responsibility). Meaning; doing it for the sake of Allah with IHSAAN with an aim to make an IMPACT! Going beyond just our own departmental work AND working together… How beautiful would it be if we were driving forward amazing projects?

3He also reminds the men to not take advantage of the women; don’t let their zeal stop you from stepping forward. It’s supposed to be a race; it’s not about off loading to the other…

4At times sisters have an issue with brothers taking too much control and brothers have an issue with sisters taking control, this is not the Qur’anic attitude, rather it’s about SUPPORTING them in the qualities we lack and them SUPPORTING us in ours and fulfilling the duties Allah has bestowed upon us.

5Allah has created men as the protectors and women as their committed helpers.   In the coming Ayat, He jalla wa ‘alaa tells us, don’t have hasad (envy) over each other. We need everyone in this da’wah to step up, brothers and sisters and compliment each other!

6He… The Mighty, Most Wise reminds the women, that if you’re really righteous you will support them, you will help them in ATTAINING JANNAH! You will be there for them (to take the da’wah forward).

This is just to remind us that we are both unique and if we focused on what we were both good at, we’d be awesome!

Source: Alima,

8 Comments to Men Are The Protectors Of Women

  1. I have always believed this…even before embracing Islam (alhamdulillah!)
    Submission is NOT a dirty word…and I thank you for your wise words and
    for those wise words of Allah from which yours came.

  2. Good article, however I do not see what exactly men lack that women have. I howler feel that a women should be able to support herself first not to anger the man, but today what man truly knows the difference between dictating and supporting? Girls have to be strong first because we are naturally weak as stated onthe article ” women are counter parts to men”. Men are made strong and do not need women as much as women need men.

    • This is not true. Women, and men both need eachother greatly. Women and men both have weaknesses. It is important to note that they are different weaknesses, and that men do not always show them as much as women. We women tend to wear our hearts on our shoulders, but just because men do not, does not mean they do not have a heart. Allah has given us all tasks that we must be strong for, and protectors for us in our areas where we are weak. This is the beauty of Allah that he has accounted for all our strengths and weaknesses. Just because Men are responsible for our weaknesses, does not mean we can be lazy and neglect our responsibilities, and the same goes for men.

    • dear sister,
      we are physically weak – maybe we can’t lift a stone etc., but we have the strengh to give birth! – therefore men need women more than women men.
      1. they need women as a mother – and here I want you to remember that paradise lies at mothers feet!
      2. they need women as a sister (if they have one)
      3. they need women as a wife – a quote from the article: And the righteous women are devoutly obedient, helping them in their vision, in their dreams, in assisting each other to worship Allah jalla wa ‘alaa. …so men need women-help to achieve their goals incl. jannah 🙂

      جزاك الله خير

  3. Abdullahi A.

    Sister Huriya, Please don’t be taken away. However much you may want to indulge you cannot say men need women more than women need men or vice versa.
    The fact that Allah has created a pair, for one to complement the other, negates that assertion. The bottomline, though, is that men are a degree above women, plain and simple. And Allah it is, who said so. He created man first before He created woman, and He created her from man’s rib. He always chose His messengers exclusively from among men also.
    Pardon me if I sound sexist, I’m not! I just can’t bear to see women who want to compete with men as if it’s a contest. The only thing worth competing for is Allah’s favour and even that contest is not ‘man versus woman’, it’s ‘one versus everyone else’!
    Let’s set our priorities straight, wassalam.

  4. Salaam,

    How about; we both need each other? And we do, in order to live in harmony in our communities. One of the main reasons these discussions arise is because we strayed away from the correct sunnah and adhab of how we treat each other, and more importantly, the end result – which is the pleasure of Allah (swt) and a house in Jannah.

    On that note, when oppression occurs we should all stand together and step up to correct it, be it to a man and woman and yes we all have priorities and each has a status of it’s own. However, this status or the emphasis on priorities shouldn’t be used as a carrot stick toward each other. Both genders do it btw, rather, they should be used as reminders, in order to remind us of a greater goal — the pleasure of Allah (swt).

    I end on, it’s not even about complementing, rather, it’s about supporting the other in their aims in life and their priorities, this is being realistic and practical, rather than just theoretical.

    And Allah (swt) knows best.

  5. Salam alaikum, I agree with Alima. My understanding is that we are all to be equal in our worship and Faith of Islam. Niether one is regarded less; nor excluded where the worship of Allah (swt) is concerned. Yes, we are to different beings, yet we receive the same blessings
    and recognition from Allah (swt) for our deeds and how our character is percieved by HIM Allah. We all support one another for the Sake of Allah (swt).
    Walaikum Salam Fatima

  6. in a family unit, there are many roles
    many stated on this post and many not.
    Some of these roles will be forfilled by husband
    Some of these roles will be forfilled by the wife
    Some of these roles will be forfilled by the children
    who does what, allah has given us inteligence to work out so please try and use it.
    some comments on this page are frankly unislamic by vertue.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Check Out Our New Mobile App!!

Muslim Marriage Guide Mobile Application