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Pure Matrimony’s very own sister Arfa Saira is joined by co-host sister Fathima Farooqi as they explode the myth about men who choose not to settle before marriage. This is one lively talk – so tune in now!
Men Don’t Need To Be Settled Before Marriage.
*Playing – Pure Matrimony Jingles*
Assalamu Alaikkum, As a practising Muslim……, purematrimony.com because practice makes perfect.
Arfa: Bismillah! Assalamu Alaikkum (wrb)! And Welcome to Pure Matrimony. I’m your host Sis. Arfa Saira Iqbal, head of Pure Matrimony and I’m joined here today with my co-host, Sis. Fathima Farooqi and the topic we are going to be discussing today is Men Don’t Need to Be Well -Settled before Marriage. Quite an interesting topic, so…(chuckles) I’m quite excited to dig into this one, Are you there, Sis. Fathima?
Fathima: Yes! Assalamu Alaikkum, Sis. Arfa! How are you?
Arfa: Wa Alaikkum Salaam, Wa rahmatullah, Yes, I’m doing good. This is quite an interesting topic, isn’t it?
Fathima: Yes, Exactly, because we don’t really get to talk about Men very often and especially their financial part because that seems to be very private and secret and hidden, but then, Well, there are some people who are complete goal diggers and they want men to be more well settled. I think that is more of a control problem, Men all over the world are expected to be well settled with a good job, a great salary, some even prefer, they need to own a house or a car. Is this really what makes a man eligible for marriage?
Arfa: (chuckles) definitely not. Honestly! I think I should say that.
Fathima: (chuckles) Yeah! Some Sisters need to hear that!
(Both- Laughing out loudly)
Arfa: Yeah! I mean. Let’s get that real right. We live in an age where, Maasha Allah, everybody on the planet at the moment who is connected and is you know, Maasha Allah, is reasonably well- educated will have something going for them. So, specifically, even now, when you look, especially from the west a lot of sisters are now working, now, please don’t confuse what I’m about to say, because at the end of the day, it’s a man’s duty and responsibility to provide for his family. Right! That goes without saying this is how it’s supposed to be, this is the right a woman has for her husband to be able to provide for her. And that’s the key phrase, ‘BE ABLE TO PROVIDE FOR HER’.
(Arfa Continues) Ok, if you are married to a man who, by all intensive purposes, got everything, but doesn’t give you any respect, is that a marriage it’s worth having, no definitely no, right. It is doesn’t define who that man is. Ok. For a man, it’s important that he is able to provide for his family that, seriously, we can’t get away from this, right. So, if you’ve got a brother who is lazy, you do not want to work, who is basically living off the back of his parents, right, for example, he is living in his parent’s house and doesn’t have a good job and he doesn’t have any aspiration in life, that’s a problem. You don’t want to marry somebody like that, right?
(Arfa Continues speaking ) For the brothers who are listening to this, you really need to understand this, no, you are not gonna be able to attract the right person just because you happen to live in your parents home and your parents’ has got really massive business, but you, yourself don’t do anything, Right! So, And I have seen many sisters, by the way, turned down proposals, because the brother himself, the family has achieved so much but the brother is a nobody. He doesn’t put any effort into anything, right from his… he is not educated, and he is not bothered about getting himself a good work. It is better for you to live in dignity on your own terms than to ride off back of your family.
Right! Because for a woman, Woman wants to see that a man is able to go the distance in wanting to provide for her. For man’s hardworking and he has skills, Insha Allah, that’s not a problem. I would always say that to Sister’s right, sometimes, sisters get a bit, you know, they have the silly ideas in their head, you know, man is gonna come to sweep me off my feet… he is gonna provide absolutely everything for me… I’m going to get like that.
No! I know so many people who have started right at the bottom, who have literally, they have had literally, next nothing but, because their husband has been very hard working and they worked together as a team, and they have managed to play an amazing lifestyle for themselves but they have taken many years to get to that point. I think it’s really keen, sisters you are listening to this, if you are looking to get married, you want to marry somebody who is good for you.. don’t look out how much money he has got… Seriously, that’s not the right thing to look at… You want to look at anything more than the world…You want look at his Deen, you want to look at his character…
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