Miscarriage Number 10

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By Pure Matrimony -

Miscarriage Number 10

Over the past three years I have had a series of miscarriages…and I am currently recovering from my tenth, alhamdulillah. Why so many? Qadr Allah, mashaa fa’al. The only medical testing left to do is for chromosomal abnormalities; otherwise all the other tests show that there is nothing wrong with me, mashaa’Allah.

I think that Allah is ensuring I still qualify as a woman worth marrying, LOL, as He is proving at this middle stage of my life that I am perfectly fertile, mashaa’Allah. Of course, He is also giving us tests that we must respond to, react to, and formulate an attitude towards. We have been incredibly blessed with our two daughters and fully accept Allah’s Decree.

The difficult part is becoming pregnant so frequently and then being in limbo between expecting the best from Allah and thinking positively, and noticing every twinge and cramp, dreading the sight of blood or not detecting a heartbeat. It is a far bigger mental and emotional test, than physical…even though it is physically painful.

The Prophet (salla Allahu alayhi wasalam) said, upon him peace,

“The miscarried child will pester its glorious and mighty Lord for His entering its two parents into the Fire until it is told, ‘O miscarried child that pesters its Lord! Enter your father and mother into Paradise.’ Then it will drag them with its umbilical cord until it makes them enter Paradise.” (Ibn Majah and Abu Ya`la from `Ali)

And again,

“By the One in Whose hand is my soul, truly the miscarried child will certainly drag its mother with its umbilical cord to Paradise, provided one expects recompense [for sabr (patience)].” (Ibn Majah and Ahmad from Mu`adh)

And he said, upon him peace:

“Your little ones are the larvas (da`aamees) of Paradise. They will meet their parents and grab them by their garments or their hands to no end other than that Allah will enter them Paradise.” (Sahih Muslim)

Isn’t that a divine reward for your heartache?

Also, the Prophet (salla Allahu alayhi wasalam) said:

“I swear that a miscarried child of mine I send forth before me is more beloved to me than [raising] a mounted knight that survives me.” (Ibn Majah from Abu Hurayrah)

Fortitude with faith and surrender with ridaa – absolute acceptance – through losing a child, require inordinate strength of character because SABR carries huge reward and its difficulty means even more reward.

“And whoever yatasabbaru (=is racked trying to endure in patience), Allah will grant them SABR, and none was ever given a greater gift than SABR.” (narrated in the Five Books).

Hence the magnificent, tremendous ayah states:

{Verily the saabiroon will receive a reward without measure} (39:10).

Hence Umm al-Darda’ would say:

Those that gladly accept the Divine decree have a level in Paradise that the Shuhada’ will envy them the Day of Resurrection.

May we be the envy of the Shuhada’ – aameen!

“When Allah tests you it is never to destroy you. When He takes something out of your possession it is (only) in order to empty your hands for an even greater gift.” (Ibn Al Qayyim)

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Source : http://idealmuslimah.com/family/infertility-miscarriages-birth-control/2454-miscarriage-number-10

19 Comments to Miscarriage Number 10

  1. Asalaamu alaykum

    I just burst out crying when I saw that picture. You have been blessed with so much strength and patience Mashallah. I am so grateful to Allah for the health he has blessed me and my family with. I wish you all the best for your future and your kids.

    Shukran to pure matrimony for posting this …

    Salaam

  2. as-salaam alaikum,

    May Allah swt grant you the best sabr and the best reward for your sabr and fill your coming years with the best news. ameen. Sh Muhammad AlShareef did a lecture on this topic too!

    Just out of curiosity and you obviously don’t have to answer this…but did they test for anti-phospholipid antibodies? Lupus anticoagulant (ironically) puts the body into a hypercoaguable state which can make things difficult for the growing fetus and is associated with recurrent miscarriages.

    May Allah swt grant you news that will make you happy in this dunya and the aakhira. ameen!!

  3. Have you considered Ruqya in accordance to the Sunnah? As you mentioned the tests show no problems with your body. Maybe something to consider. I had a family member who had 4 miscarriages, after having ruqya she has a healthy baby girl now alhamdulillah.

      • ummi sundas

        Assalamu Alayikum WRB

        I am so sorry for your losses may Allah SWT grant you patience and strength in iman InshAllah. I was wondering if the doctors have tried testing you for factor IV leidon mutation,,, as I lost 7 babies before they diagnosed me,,,I had no problems with the first child but after a successful pregnancy i had 7 recurrent losses. With the treatment an Allahs Will i was blessed with A young healthy baby girl, Inshallah may Allah reward your sabr with what ever is good for you as only Allah knows best Ameen,,, but i felt like maybe if it helped i’ll mention it. JazakAllah

  4. I feel for you. I have had three miscarriages, It was never easy. I know a woman who had 12 miscarriages before she had her baby boy. He was born early but is doing well now. Make sure that your body is nourished. Miscarriages will take a lot out of your body. Sometimes vitamin E will help a baby stick. I recommend taking 800 IU a day while trying to conceive and while pregnant. Also herbs like nettles, alfalfa, oatstraw, and red raspberry leaf can be made into a tea. I make this infusion every day while I am pregnant and It helps to nourish your uterus and body. I hope that this was helpful and I wish you the best. -Keely Parson

  5. Negative Blood Type?

    I am sorry to hear of so many ups and downs for you. My question is do you ever bleed during your pregnancy? If you do you may have a O- blood type or some negative blood type and your baby may have a positive blood type. If this is the case your body will reject your baby as a foreign entity. To prevent this from happening you will need to get an anti-D shot (rhogam) to prevent you blood from attacking the baby’s blood. I am sure you have looked into this but just in case you haven’t, I have suggested it. Some bodies will never accept a baby without rhogam if you have a negative blood type. Many babies need adoption out there if you continue to not follow through with a pregnancy! They will be so lucky to have because of your experiences of loss. I am sure you would love them more than any other adopting parent could. Bless your path to motherhood.

  6. Salams
    I am very sorry for all your losses and the strength you have is inceridible if I could I would love to be able to carry a baby for you and know that it will be loved the way I would that baby sister have sabr I have lost a child but not to death he was taken from me and now is living out there without me I understand your pain deeply but with allah’s grace I have had a baby girl and she Is living with me once my heart goes out to you and all the other women.

  7. salam mualaikum! Allah swt will not test us more than we can bear. I feel your pain, hang in there. Likewise, I have gone through 3 miscarriages for one of it a pair of twins. 1 newborn passed away due to sepsis. I only have one last chance to have another child cause only 4 c-section allowed. Persevere and have faith in Allah swt. Insya Allah, HE will grant you a child. Allhamdulilah! After 4 years of my last pregnancy , finally conceived my last chance. Doctor was amazed as I was not ovulating and even suggested IVF. I refused and leave it to Allah swt as HE knows best. We must not give up, we need to persevere , have faith and be patient. There’s solution for every problem. I took a supplement called manna & evening prim rose ; Alhamdulillah! Currently expecting a child . The first 3 months my gynea gave me dupason to hold the pregnancy. You may wish to consult your doctor during your next pregnancy about dupason. I doa Allah swt bless you with a child soon. Amin!

  8. May Allah bless you dear sister,is better you belive in Allah and qadar…Allah will grant you whotever you want since you have subra mashallah. And if not in dunyia it will be akhera biidhinllah!

  9. Asalamualikum sister,so sorry for ur loss,i know its hard as i too am facing the loss of my miscarriage,its been almost 2 weeks now and i can’t stop thinking,i was pregnant with triplets through ivf and had a miscarriage at 11 weeks.i was in labor for 12 hours having the worst pain ever.I wanted my babies so much,i had this bond of love,its not so easy if u have to do ivf.
    Now i feel so alone again and i must start all over again,i cry n cry why didnt even one stay?But its Allah swt will.
    so inshallah everything will turn ok for u and me.Inshallah we both will be blessed.
    I used progesterone pessaries doc said their used to avoid a miscarriage,inshallah it works for u.didnt work for me though.
    take care sis,and to all women who experienced this pain ‘May Allah swt reward us with better.’

  10. Shafi Chowdhury

    As a man, all I can say is: women really are the unsung heroes in the story of life. Allah bless you. In His wisdom, He chose, to bear the toughest physical, emotional, and mental challenges, those we cheerfully refer to as the “weaker sex” to show what real strength is.

    Respect, sisters.

  11. Salaam brothers and sisters, few days ago my wife had a ultras can and we found out she miscarried at 10 weeks. Yesterday all the remains of the fetus has come out I just want to know what is the Islamic way of dealing with this are we supposed to bury the fetus ? Our child was under four months 🙁

  12. Asalam o alaikum,
    Im sorry to hear about your loss, may Allah reward you.
    I m going through similar condition, had miscarriage at 14 wks,
    Im trying my best to be patient.
    My question is regarding this hadith:
    peace, “The miscarried child will pester its glorious and mighty Lord for His entering its two parents into the Fire until it is told, ‘O miscarried child that pesters its Lord! Enter your father and mother into Paradise.’ Then it will drag them with its umbilical cord until it makes them enter Paradise.” (Ibn Majah and Abu Ya`la from `Ali)

    DOES It hold true for a fetus less than 120 days, ive read at various places that its true only if the soul has been breathed in i.e after 120 days!!

    I want to know , if anyone can answer this for me!

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