Muslimah Dilemma: Mending your relationships

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By Pure Matrimony -


Author: Tasnim Nazeer

However it is important in any stage of our lives to amend relations with those who have either wronged you or those who you have wronged. Almighty Allah is all merciful and if we maintain good relationships with our family and friends, adhering to the holy principles of Islam we can ensure that we are on the right track to a better future.

Forgive and forget…

Nobody likes a fall out especially not with a family member. Have you ever experienced an argument or kept a grudge or refused to forgive someone because they have wronged you? Everyone has experienced anger in their lives but holding animosity with relations or friends is the work of Shaytan and we do not want him to succeed in his evil whisperings do we?  Have you ever thought about the trials and tribulations that our Holy beloved Prophet may Allah be pleased with him had to go through and how many people had wronged him. Yet as a prime example to humanity our Holy Prophet showed us that forgiveness is the key in promoting Islamic values and morals. Everyone has heard of the saying forgive and forget and here is a prime example to ensure that the next time you feel like keeping a grudge, remember this beautiful hadith:

There is a hadith whereby our Holy Prophet (May peace be upon him) went to Ta’if to preach the about the oneness of Allah however when he arrived there the people of Ta’if mistreated him and hit him with stones. He then departed from the city wounded, hurt and humiliated by his plight. When he took shelter underneath a tree the angel of Allah visited him and told him that Allah sent him to destroy the people of Ta’if because of their sin of maltreating their Prophet. Muhammad (may peace be upon him) prayed to Allah to save the people of Ta’if, because what they did was out of their ignorance. (The Doors of Repentance by Imâm al-Madîna al-Munawarrah ‘Alî Abd-ur-Rahmân al-Hudhaifî).

This shows that if our holy Prophet can forgive who are we as humans not to forgive our brothers and sisters? What will we gain from keeping grudges? Death is at the door of time we never know when it will hit us and do we want to gain forgiveness from Allah for the sins that we have already committed? How can Allah forgive us if we cannot forgive our own Muslim brothers and sisters and make attempts to be a united Ummah.

This is a problem that is occurring amongst many different cultures and nations all over the world and it one that needs to be solved in order to harmonize a productive Islamic life. The relief from the niggling feeling you have in your heart when you have amended relations with someone in your life can give your heart peace and tranquillity. We have to remember that this world is temporary and the permanent life is in the hereafter therefore why are we so concerned with the matters of this life? It is Allah who will punish those who do wrong it is not up to us to be the judge so work productively today to ensure that relations are mended effectively.

Here are some ways to mend your relations in just one month:

1. Contact those who you have not contacted in years and talk things through amicably. If they do not give a good response at least you have tried to make amends.

Did you know that if you cut off ties with your family blood relations you will not enter Jannah? Don’t let pride get in the way of your place in Jannah and mend relations today!  the Authority of Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “It is not lawful for a Muslim to forsake his (Muslim) brother beyond three days; and whosoever does so for more than three days, and then dies, will certainly enter the Hell.”[Abu Dawud].

2. Remember fear of Allah at all times in all actions that you do this will help your heart to soften and forgive those who have wronged you. If you try to reconcile you will be rewarded and if the person does not respond positively he will bear the sin.

On the authority of Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “It is not permissible for a believer to forsake his (Muslim) brother for more than three days. If three days have passed, he should meet him and greet him; and if other responds to it they will both share the reward; but if he does not respond, he will bear his sin and the one who (has taken the initiative to) greet (the other) will be absolved of the sin of forsaking (one’s brother in Faith).”[Abu Dawud]. 

3. Note down these special Hadith’s to inspire you to productively work on mending your relationships today and have a pure conscience.

Anas bin Malik (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Do not desert (stop talking to) one another, do not nurse hatred towards one another, do not be jealous of one another, and become as fellow brothers and slaves of Allah. It is not lawful for a Muslim to stop talking to his brother (Muslim) for more than three days.”[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

 Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “People’s deeds are presented before Allah on Mondays and Thursdays, and then every slave (of Allah) is granted forgiveness (of minor sins) if he does not associate anything with Allah in worship. But the person in whose heart there is rancour against his brother, will not be pardoned. With regard to them, it is said twice: `Hold these two until they are reconciled’.”[Muslim].

Abu Khirash Hadrad bin Abu Hadrad Al-Aslami (May Allah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Prophet (PBUH) saying, “Whosoever forsakes his brother for a year is like one who sheds his blood.”[Abu Dawud].

These inspiring hadiths can be kept as reminder to those of you who still need the push to unite with your fellow Muslim brothers and sisters. May Allah make us a united Ummah and one that gets along well with one another to the extent that harmony prevails against disputes.


Pure Matrimony

….Where Practice Makes Perfect

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