Lub neej txij nkawm

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the demands of everyday life. Completing household chores, looking after my son, catering for my parents in law, my brothers in law and my husband – everything gets too much. Li ntawd, yog li, how do you find that balance? How do you fulfill the needs of your children without neglecting the needs of your husband? How do you keep everyone happy?

Islam has made the wife a source of tranquillity, ease and consolation for her husband.

“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts]…” (Qaib Ntxhw 30:21)

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the demands of everyday life. Completing household chores, looking after my son, catering for my parents in law, my brothers in law and my husband – everything gets too much. Li ntawd, yog li, how do you find that balance? How do you fulfil the needs of your children without neglecting the needs of your husband? How do you keep everyone happy?

Structure

You may have a million and one things to do every day. Your workload seems to be getting bigger and bigger and there’s no one to help you. Smile, make du’a and get on with it. The best way to get everything done is to structure your day according to the five prayers. It is better to start your day at fajr and complete your chores efficiently by dhuhr. No husband likes a dirty home and an empty fridge.

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (Yog peb nco Yehauvas tes haujlwm, nws yeej foom koob hmoov nplua mias rau nws) Hais: 'Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for those under his care. A ruler is a shepherd; a man is the shepherd of his family; a woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and children. For each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for those under his care.’

Be Positive

Imagine coming home, terribly exhausted, to find your wife in a foul mood. She’s got a frown on her face, and seems to be muttering angrily. Immediately, staying at work seems more attractive than having to come home to a bad atmosphere.

Greet your husband with a smile, and tend to him lovingly. It is easy to be oblivious of the hard work our husbands do. Their work seems to be the last thing on our minds because we are so preoccupied with other things. Despite how bad your day may have been, a good wife will always have a positive attitude. The Holy Prophet Muhammad (Yog peb nco Yehauvas tes haujlwm, nws yeej foom koob hmoov nplua mias rau nws) Hais: `A Muslim man can acquire no benefit after Islam greater than a Muslim wife who makes him happy when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands her, and protects him when he is away from her in herself and in his property.

Time Together

‘Since the baby’s been born, you have hardly talked to me. It’s like I don’t exist’.

Mostly new mothers are guilty of this. When you have your first baby, you are so excited and nervous and busy, that you forget you have a husband. Being a mother tends to take over every other relationship, and that can be detrimental to your marriage. Make sure you give your husband some love and affection too.

Go for a walk or read a book together. Make the time you spend alone with your husband special. Your husband deserves some attention too.

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (Yog peb nco Yehauvas tes haujlwm, nws yeej foom koob hmoov nplua mias rau nws) Hais: ‘Any woman, who dies, and her husband is pleased with her, will enter paradise.’

Finally…

Ua siab ntev.

“And practice sabr, certainly Allaah does not let the reward of the Muhsineen be lost.” (Qur'an 11:115)

It is essential to practice sabr as Allaah will reward people who have patience with paradise with:“Peace be upon you for the sabr you practised. Excellent indeed is the final home.” (Qur'an 13:24)

Structure your day, be positive, spend time with your husband and be patient. You will be successful inshaa’Allaah.

Pure Matrimony

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