NIKAAH – Husband's obligations

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By Pure Matrimony -

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By: Ml. I Khamissa
Have you ever pondered over the Khutbah which the Imaam recited to you before you enthusiastically uttered “Nakahtuhaa Wa Qabiltuhaa Wa Tazawwajtuhaa?”

Let us shed some light over this contract which you have made yourself party to, that is “The Nikah Contract.” The Imaam recited to you three verses from the Noble Qurãn:

– Surah Nissa (4) verse 1

“O Mankind Fear your guardian Lord who created you from a single soul, and He created from it its mate and from them He scattered many men and women.”

– Surah Aale Imraan (3) verse 102

O Ye who believe! Fear Allah as He should be feared and die not except in a state of Islam.

– Surah Ahzaab (33) verse 70

O Ye who believe. Fear Allah and make your utterances straight.

TAQWA:The common element in each of these verses is the Arabic word “Taqwa” (God Consciousness). In these verses you are reminded to fear Allah Taãla in the manner you treat the lady you are taking as your wife. There is no one to see the way you conduct yourself within your home. Let the fact and belief that Allah is watching guide you in your treatment of the woman you have made your wife by granting her the respect and dignity she deserves.

You have brought somebody’s daughter into your own home. She left her family, her friends, close associates and in many cases even the town that she grew up in and she came to a strange environment just to share the rest of her life with you. Was she handed over to you to be a target of your physical and verbal abuse?

The Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) is reported to have said in connection with the treatment of animals:

“Fear Allah in your treatment of these animals who cannot speak.” If this was his concern for the animals, how tremendously greater would his concern have been for humans; therefore, can you imagine what his reaction would have been to the wife battering that takes place nowadays?

What then are the most important ingredients of a happy marriage? Allah Taãla says in Surah Roum (30) verse 21.

“And from amongst His signs is that He created for you from amongst yourselves partners, that you may live in tranquility with them, and He has created love and mercy between you. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.”

It is this love and mercy that strengthens the bond of marriage. The ability to overlook each other”s faults goes a long way in cementing the relationship. Once a man came to Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) and said,

“O Allah”s messenger, how many times should I forgive the wrongs of my slaves.” The Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) replied, “Forgive them seventy times a day.” If a worker is entitled to so much of compassion what about your lifelong companion?

BEST OF YOU:Today, we are very courteous to our clients, appreciative to our colleagues and cheerful to our friends. Unfortunately this warmth is not extended to the poor wife who is most deserving of this courtesy and charm. The Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) is reported to have said, “The most complete of believers in faith are those who are best in character. The best of you are those who are best to their wives.” (Mishkat)

Every person has shortcomings. It is therefore quite natural to find this in your partner. The Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) has advised us to take pleasure in the good and overlook the bad. Have you ever spared the thought that there may be so many habits which you possess that may be bringing grief to your wife? She may have been patiently bearing it not wanting to hurt your feelings.

Let us go back and fulfil the demands of this contract.

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2 Comments to NIKAAH – Husband's obligations

  1. Masha-AlLaah a nice reminder.

    I just wish to add that women should also be taking this advice for themselves. When a woman enters marriage and becomes a wife, she must not enter it thinking this is all about her rights and her wants and her needs. She must not raise a finger against her husband either. There is no excuse for EITHER party to be violent or emotionally abusive to the other, ever. She must honour her husband and be loyal to him, guarding his home and his wealth AND his reputation. She has to be kind to him and to his family, just as she hopes he will be kind to her and her family.

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