Part 3: Why Your Personality And Character is EVERYTHING When Looking To Get Married!

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What does it take to make an amazing spouse? Is it personality and character? What do YOU need to do now to ensure you’re 100% ready to get married and help your other half complete half of their deen?

In part three of this amazing three-part series, we take a look at the importance of personality and character and how you can improve it to help you become the best version of you – ready for anything (including marriage!)

Listen to this lively discussion with Sister Arfa Saira and Sister Fathima Farooqi as they dive deep into what you need to change in order to become a great spouse!

Why Your Personality and Character is EVERYTHING When Looking To Get Married!
*Playing – Pure Matrimony Jingles*

Assalamu Alaikkum, As a practising Muslim, I understand your concerns regarding trying to find a pious spouse online and quite frankly I’m not surprised, because trying to find a practising single Muslim on other halal Matrimonial websites, is like trying to find a needle in a haste tag. Some practicing single Muslims won’t even entertain the idea of searching of a marriage partner online, whilst others are frustrated by what they come across and why, because they feel that those other Muslim matrimonial websites are more like dating sites with profiles full of people who – Pauses – let’s just say aren’t suitable and just like you, ………… because practice makes perfect.

*Discussion Begins*

Arfa: Bismillah! Assalamu Alaikkum (wrb) and welcome to the family matter show. I’m your host Sis. Arfa Saira Iqbal, Head of Pure Matrimony and joining me today is Sis. Fathima Farooqi who is my co-host and we are onto Podcast 3 in Podcast series which is all the about making of a perfect Spouse.
So, in the first Podcast, if you haven’t listened to that, make sure that you go back and listen to it; we talked all about the importance of Self-analysis and why that’s really crucial, way before you start the Spouse hunting process.
In the second podcast, we talked all about physical, spiritual and emotional and mental development on why that’s really keen before you go ahead and decide to look for someone and so, all this will link those two shows in the notes, make sure you check out the notes are the links to the episode, if you haven’t listened to them, well, you should be listening to them.
Let’s jump into the topic, this is going to be a great one. It is all about your personality and your character and this the third podcast and is the final one. So, Assalamu Alaikkum, Sis. Fathima.

Fathima: Wa Alaikkum Salaam (wrb) Sis. Arfa.

Arfa: Yes!!!

Fathima: How are you feeling about this podcast, now?

Arfa: Oh! I feel excited because the previous two were brilliant. They were just worth, so good. I think people got a lot of value, out of them especially all the different tips that we gave them practical. The practical point that we gave. That’s really keen because one thing talking about something but it’s is quite another putting into action.
So, we gave a lot of actionable advise in those two podcasts and I feel that anyone who is really serious about getting the best spouse ever has to be in the best vision of themselves. Right! That’s what this last podcast is all about. It’s all about personality and character.

Fathima: Yeah! So, we are like one step closer to starting the whole spouse hunting process, Insha Allah. Make sure you actually go through the previous two podcast and write it down and do your homework and put it into action.
So, we are ready for the third one. The first question from this topic is, Sis. Arfa. So, What is the difference between one’s characteristic and one’s personality?

Arfa: Ok! Right! So, this is the thing where people get confused about all the time. They think the two are the same and actually, they are not. Your personality is the traits that make you, you. So, these are the things, for example, you are outgoing so you’ve been an extrovert, you might be shy that means you’re an introvert. That’s basically, that’s your personality. These are all the different attributes that make you who you are. Ok!
Your characteristics are what you convey to other people. So, if a person has a good character, for example, they may be honest, they may be truthful, they may be very generous, right, that’s part of your character.
If you actually break up your character, your character is made up of two things. It’s made up of your personality, and then it’s also made up of the things that make you that amazing person from a spiritual point of view. It is your ethics and moral basically, that’s what makes you a person of good character and not just your personality.
For example, just to illustrate the point, Omar RA had an amazing character. If you look at his personality, he had a lot of anger in him. Do you see what I mean, that was one of his characteristics, he used to get angry very quickly, but he used to use his anger for Allah’s sake. He would get angry for the right reasons.
If you just looked at the anger, you might think that doesn’t make him a good person, right. If you see so much, he has just got one thing. You might think that this person is not a good person. But that’s not true. Because your character is made up of your personality and the ethics and the morals that you live by. The values that you live by. And because he had an amazing (repeats) set of values, obviously, because being a Muslim and being a very firm believer. And he had all of his different things that made up his personality. One of them, being angry that is used for Allah SWT, combined they gave him a really good character. He is a known person of character. Just to put things into perspective, the Prophet SAWS actually when Allah SWT sent the Prophet SAWS, he actually mentioned in the Quran and tested to the brilliance of his character. And he was one of the people on Earth who had the Best and the most Perfect character of all.

Fathima: Maasha Allah! So, what is more, important when looking for a spouse? Is it the characteristics or the personality?

Arfa: I think, the most important is the character. The character is the overall package…

For more of this interesting & REAL discussion, please listen to the audio above or download from the URL here:

Listen to part one here:
Listen to part two here:

Get your ‘Prepare For Marriage Toolkit’ here:

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