Q&A: Help! I’m A Hypocrite And Want To Change My Ways – Where Do I Start?

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Author: Pure Matrimony


Please help me. I am in one of the later stages of the hypocrites because although my company is okay-ish. I don’t pray even once, but I keep telling myself that tomorrow I’ll pray but then that tomorrow never comes.

I reflect upon what’s being said and commanded by Allah but don’t take action on it. Please help. Jazaallah Khair…


The path to salvation starts with acknowledging you have a problem – alhamdulilah you KNOW you need help and this means you genuinely want to be guided. So here are 10 steps that will help get you on the right track insha’Allah.

  1. Make sincere tauba to Allah SWT to forgive you because your sin is not greater than Allah’s Forgiveness and certainly not greater than His Mercy.
  2. Make sincere dua to Allah to help you rectify yourself – Dua is a beautiful thing because you’re acknowledging you can’t do something on your own. Asking Allah with a sincere heart will surely mean your dua is never rejected, but you MUST follow with action too!
  3. Start your salah. Start with just your fard as that is easiest and just start. As time goes on, LEARN the meaning of your salah so you connect with the words and thus deepen your relationship with Allah.
  4. Do EASY things such as dhikr because you don’t need to do anything other than move your tongue. A lot of istighfar, salawat, praising Allah etc. You should also get into the habit of doing your morning and evening duas – the minimum should be the three Quls and Aytul Kursi as protection for you against Shaytaan.
  5. Stop listening to music and replace it with Quran – this is HUGE! When music enters your heart, goodness and the words of Allah can’t fill it – so replace it with something better. Don’t slowly ease off, or you never will. Just stop – I PROMISE you this is easier than you think. I never thought I would stop listening to music, but once I made my intention, I found it was almost too easy. Find a reciter whose recitation really moves you – Omar Hisham Arabi is amazing masha’Allah. Listen to it when you drive, while you work etc. Immerse yourself in it.
  6. Seek out righteous company and abandon friends who don’t remember Allah –  Remember it’s MORE important to please Allah than please friends – and if you give something up for Allah’s sake, Allah will replace it with something better. Get plugged into your local mosque and study circles.
  7. Get into the habit of making a lot of dua to Allah. And I do mean a LOT. Ask Allah for EVERYTHING – even small things like food. Of course, you take action to achieve whatever it is you want, but the act of making dua firstly ensures you’re placing your trust in Allah for everything. Secondly, it reminds you that you alone are nothing without Allah. And it gives you humility so you think less of yourself and more about the one who Created you. And if you want to take this to the next level, get into the habit of making a lot of dua for other people – without them asking for it 🙂
  8. Give a lot of charity and be generous with your time and your wealth in helping others – This reminds you of the favours Allah has given you and helps you to be grateful to Allah whilst getting lots of reward.
  9. Make a point of educating yourself through seminars, lectures and attending study circles – This will help give you an imaan boost and improve your knowledge.
  10. Always be grateful to Allah for everything – Really! Allah LOVES the one who is grateful to Him and Shaytaan clearly says in the Quran that few of Allah’s servants will be grateful and they are the ones who are easy to misguide. After refusing to bow to Adam, Shaytaan said: “Then I will certainly come to them from before them and from behind them, and from the right-hand side and from the left-hand side, and You (Allah) shall not find most of them thankful.” (Al-Araf 7:17)
  11. Don’t hold bad feelings in your heart towards others ever – This means no jealousy or envy or anger or hatred to others. Be kind and merciful and forgiving to everyone and you’ll find it changes your life for the better. There’s nothing worse than a diseased heart. I’ve seen very practising people hold hatred in their hearts for others and it makes them horrible to be around.
  12. Lastly and most important is to check your intentions in everything – If you are sincere, your reward from Allah will be immense. It’s the insincere ones who fall into hypocrisy. Be sincere in your intentions so that everything you do is to please Allah and to be a better Muslim.

My final piece of advice is to don’t beat yourself up by dwelling on your past. Change can come immediately if you make the sincere intention to change. Forgiveness is a wonderful thing and the doors of tauba are ALWAYS open for you. I like to think of imaan as a ladder to jannah – and you can only reach jannah as long as you keep trying to climb. If you ever fall, pick yourself back up, repent and keep going!

May Allah SWT make things easy for you and give you the peace of heart and the change you want ameen!

Written by Umm Jamal

Pure Matrimony – Helping Practising People Get Together And Stay Together!

1 Comment to Q&A: Help! I’m A Hypocrite And Want To Change My Ways – Where Do I Start?

  1. ‎﷽‎‬ One of my biggest fears is Hypocrosy. And as I have begun and knees deep into finding my way to Allah! Im beyond Thankful for this post because its just an amazing reminder! This was just outstanding May Allah Azawajal guide our diseased hearts to righteousness and purify then with love for Allah ‎إن شاء الله‬ ‎جزاك اللهُ خيرا‬

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