O lesona mai ia Laura – Vaega 5

“Respect a man; he will do the more,” James Howell.

Another major aspect of a healthy marriage is
R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Let’s find out what it really means for a man according to Laura Doyle’s teachings.

First here are some pointers to help you stop being disrespectful:

• Become aware of your actions and behaviors.
• Do not criticize, contradict, or teach (even if you feel you are smarter than him).
• Be accepting and trusting.
• Don’t be unpleasable.
• Don’t nag.
• Feel genuine respect for him; something that will appear from habit.
• Don’t say anything negative about his ideas or desires.
• Remind yourself that you are taking the high road.
• Remind yourself that you can either have the satisfaction of being right, or have intimacy in your marriage.
• Don’t be rude. Recognize that he deserves the same niceness and hospitality you would give a guest in your house for example.
• Don’t yell or give the silent treatment.
• If he does something that you really can’t respect, then forgive him because you wouldn’t want him to hold a mistake against you one day.

For a full list, go to our page of 100 tips.

If you find yourself doing these things Laura suggests saying one sentence, and one sentence only, nothing before and nothing after: “I apologize for being disrespectful when I…(state specific thing).”

Believe it or not, men need respect more than they need physical intimacy. Without it they feel unsuccessful and can withdraw. They will do what they can to spend as much time with the people that show them that respect; whether it’s in the home, i le galuega, with his buddies or wherever. Wouldn’t you want him to want spend as much time as he can with you?

Taumafai Lenei: As you’re interacting with your husband this week notice when you are being disrespectful and as soon as you recognize it, apologize by saying the magic words, “I apologize for being disrespectful.” Take note of how you felt saying it, and how your husband reacted. It won’t be easy at first, but practice makes perfect and if Laura is right, his chest should puff out a little from your words.

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Faaipoipoga Mama

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