O Tulaga Fa'aipoipoga ma Fa'aipoipoga

E Faaipoipoga Mama - Tesema, 2nd 2011

O Tulaga Fa'aipoipoga ma Fa'aipoipoga

All praise is due to Allah, the One who said in the clear verses of His Book:

“And among His Signs is this, na Ia faia mo outou ni paaga mai iā te outou lava, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, ma ua Ia tuu le alofa ma le alofa mutimutivale i lo outou va (loto): Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect”.[al-Room 30:21]

May the prayers and peace of Allah be upon His Prophet Muhammad, the one who said in an authenticated hadith :

“Marry the loving and fertile, for I will compete with the other Prophets with the number of my followers on the Day of Qiyama”.

[Ahmad and at-Tabaarani with hasan isnaad. And declared saheeh from Anas by Ibn Hibbaan. And it has witnesses which will be mentioned in Question 19]

After this opening: There are in Islam, certain etiquettes upon anyone who marries and wishes to consummate his marriage with his wife. Most Muslims today, even those who exert themselves in Islamic worship, have either neglected or become totally ignorant of these Islamic etiquettes. O lea la, I decided to write this beneficial treatise clearly explaining these issues on the occasion of marriage of someone dear to me. I hope that it will be an aid to him and to other believing brothers in carrying out what the Chief of the Messengers has ordained on the authority of the Lord of the Worlds. I have followed that by pointing out certain issues important to every one who marries, and with which many wives in particular have been tested.

I ask Allah Most High to bring about some benefit from this treatise, and to accept this work solely for His glorious countenance. E mautinoa lava, He is the Righteous, le Alofa Mutimutivale.

E Tatau Ona Iloa O E Tele Galuega i le Vaega o Le Faaipoipoga. Pau lava le mea ou te popole ai iinei i lenei vave tuufaatasia o le mea o le o le sunnah o le Perofeta Muhammad, o le mea e le talafeagai mai le manatu o lona filifili o tala o tala ma luga o le a leai se masalosalo e mafai ona lafo i tulaga o ana puipui ma uiga. I lenei auala, O ai lava e faitauina ma mulimuli i lenei faʻamatalaga o le a i luga o le manino faʻavae faʻavae i le lotu, ma o le a i ai le talitonuina atoatoa i le puna ma le aoga o ana actonons. Ou te faamoemoe ia te ia o le a Allah o le a tuu le faamau mulimuli o le matagofie i lona olaga, i le taui mo le amataina o lona olaga faaipoipo ma mea nei o le sunnah, and to make for him among His slaves whose statement He has described in the Qur’an saying:

And those who pray, “Lo tatou Alii! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous.” [al-Furqan 25:74]

The final disposition of things is for those of pious practise, as the Lord of the Worlds said:

As to the Righteous, they shall be amidst (cool) shades and springs (of water). Ma (they shall have) fruits, – all they desire. “Eat ye and drink ye to your heart’s content: for that ye worked (righteousness).” Thus do We certainly reward the Doers of Good. [al-Mursalaat 77:41-44]

The following then, are those etiquettes:

1. Kindness toward your wife when you wish to enter into her

It is desirable, when one goes into his wife on his wedding night, to show her kindness, such as presenting her with something to drink, ma isi. This is found in the hadith narrated by Asmaa’ bint Yazid ibn As-Sakan who said: “I beautified ‘As’ishah for Allaah’s Messenger, then called him to come to see her unveiled. He came, sat next to her, and brought a large cup of milk from which he drank. e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia., he offered it to ‘Aa’ishah, but she lowered her head and felt shy. I scolded her and said to her: “Take from the hand of the Prophet.” She then took it and drank some. e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia., the Prophet said to her, “Give some to your companion.” At that point, Sa ou fai atu: “e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia., rather take it yourself and drink, and then give it to me from your hand.” He took it, drank some, and then offered it to me. I sat down and put it on my kness. e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia., Na amata ona ou taina ma ina ua uma ou laugutu i le faasologa ina ia mafai ai ona ou tuiina le nofoaga na onā ai le Perofeta. e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia., Na fai mai le Perofeta e uiga i ni fafine sa i ai iina ma au: “Tuu i ai se mea.” Ae, latou fai mai: “Matou te le mananao i ai.” (ie. tatou te le o fia aai). ‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: “Aua le tuʻufaʻatasia le fiaaai ma fabbing!”

[Ahmad ma al-hygadi. AHMAMA lipoti i totonu 2 isnaads – O se tasi o na lagolagoina le isi, ma e lagolagoina…]”

2. Tuu ou lima i luga o le ulu o lau ava ma tatalo mo ia

E tatau i le tane, I le taimi e faʻapopoleina ai le faʻaipoipoga ma lona toʻalua pe i luma o lena, tuu lona lima i luga o le pito i luma o lona ulu, taʻua le igoa o Allah sili ona maualuga, ma tatalo mo faamanuiaga a Allah. E pei foi o le faamatalaga a le Perofeta: “A o se tasi o outou e faaipoipo i se fafine … E tatau ona ia uuina lona muaulu, taʻua o allah sili ona maualuga, and pray for His blessings saying: “Le Atua e, I ask You for the good in her and the good with which You have created her, and I seek refuge in You from the evil in her and the evil with which You have created her.” {Allaahumma innee as’aluka min khairiha wa khairi maa jabaltaha ‘alaihi wa a’oodhubika min sharriha wa sharri maa jabaltaha ‘alaihi}

[Aboo Dawood and others. Al-Bukhari in “Af’aalul-‘Ibaad”, Aboo Dawood, Ibn Majah, al-Haakim, al-Baihaqee and Aboo Ya’laa with hasan isnaad …]

3. The praying of husband and wife together

It is desirable for the husband and wife to pray 2 rakaat together on their wedding night. This has been narrated from the earliest generation of Muslims, as in the following 2 narrations:

‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: On the authority of Abu Sa’eed Mawla Abu Asyad who said: “I got married while I was a slave. I invited a number of the companions of the Prophet, among them was Ibn Mas’ood, Abu Dharr and Hudhaifa. When the prayer was called, Abu Dharr began to step forward when the others said to him: ‘No!’ Sa ia fai mai: ‘Is it so?’ And they said: ‘Yes.’ e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia., I stepped forward and led the prayer though I was a slave possessed. They taught me, saying: ‘When your wife comes to you, tatalo 2 rakaat. e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia., ask Allaah for the good of that which has come to you, and seek refuge in Him from its evil. Then it is up to you and it is up to your wife.'” [Ibn Abi Shaibah and ‘Abdur-Razzaaq]

Tulaga lua: On the authority of Shaqeeq who said: “A man named Abu Hareez came and said: ‘I have married a young girl, and I am afraid that she will despise me.’ ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood said to him: “E moni, closeness is from Allaah, and hatred is from Shaitaan, who wishes to make despicable that which Allaah has allowed. O lea, when your wife comes to you, tell her to pray behind you 2 rakaat.'” In another version of the same story, “‘Abdullah went on to say: ‘And say: ‘O Allah give Your blessings on me in my wife, and to her in me. O Allaah join us together as long as You join us in good, and split us apart if You send to us that which is better.'” [Ibn Abi Shaibah and at-Tabaraani and ‘Abdur-Razzaaq: ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua].

4. What to say at the time of making Love

When a Muslim man is about to enter his wife, he should always say first:

Bismillahi, Allahumma jannibnaa ash-shaitaan, wa jannib ash-shaitaan maa razaqtanna [I le suafa o Allah, Le Atua e, keep us away from the devil, and keep the devil away from that which You may grant us (ie. fanau).]

About this, e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia.: “After that, if Allah decrees that they will have a child, the devil will never be able to harm that child”. [al-Bukharee][1]

FOOTNOTE:

[Some Scholars say that children are disobedient to their parents usually because the parents forget/forgot to say the above duaa before having sex. Ed. of Salaf- us-Salih Page]

5. How he should come to her

It is allowed for a Muslim man to enter his wife in her vagina from any direction he wishes – mai tua pe mai luma. About this Allaah revealed the following verse:

“Your wives are a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will” [al-Baqarah 2:223]

There are also various hadith on this subject, of which I will give only 2:

On the authority of Jaabir who said: “The Jews used to say that if a man entered his wife in the vagina but from behind, their child would be cross-eyed! Then Allaah revealed the verse: “Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;” [al-Baqarah 2:223]. ‘O lea ma le tele o sana. : “From the front or the back, as long as it is in the vagina”. [Al-Bukharee and Muslim]

On the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas who said: “The Ansaar, who had been polytheists, lived with the Jews, who were people of the book. The former viewed the latter as being superior to them in knowledge, and used to follow their example in many things. The people of the book would only make love to their wives from the side, this being the most modest way for the woman, and the Ansaar had followed their example in that. These people from the Quraish, on the other hand, used to expose their women in an uncomely manner. They took pleasure in them from the front, from the back, or laid out flat. When the Makkans came to al- Madeenah at the time of the Hijrah, one of them married a woman from among the Ansaar, and began doing that with her. She disapproved of it and told him: “We used only to be approached from the side, so do that or stay away from me!” This dispute became very serious until it reached the ears of the Prophet. So Allaah, revealed the verse: “Your wives are as a tilth unto you, so approach your tilth when or how ye will;” [al-Baqarah 2:223] (ie. from the front, the back, or laid out flat). What is meant here is the entry which produces children.” [Aboo Dawood, al-Haakim and others: Hasan isnaad and is supported].

6. The Prohibition of Sodomy

It is forbidden for a Muslim man to enter his wife in her anus. This is understood from the verse quoted above (i.e. since a “planting ground” can only refer to a place where something might grow), and from the narrations cited above. There are also other hadith on the subject, among them:

‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: On the authority of Umm Salama who said: “When the Muhajireen came to Ansaar at al-Madeenah, some of them married women from the Ansaar. The women of the Muhajireen used to lie on their faces (during intercourse), while the women of the Ansaar never did it that way. e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia., one of the men of the Muhajireen wanted his wife to do that. She refused until such time as she could ask the Prophet about it. She went to the Prophet but was embarassed to ask the question, adn so Umm Salama asked him. Then the verse was revealed which says: “Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;” [al-Baqarah 2:223]. O le Perofeta> fai mai: “leai! (not any way you wish) Except in one opening! (ie. the vagina)”. [Ahmad, ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua : ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua]

Tulaga lua: On the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas who said: “‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaab came to the Prophet and said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, I am destroyed!’ The Prophet asked: ‘And what has destroyed you, O ‘Umar?’ ‘Umar said: `I turned my mount around last night.’ (An expression which means he has sexual intercourse with his wife penetrating the vagina while mounting her from the rear.) The Prophet gave him no answer and when the revelation came and the verse was revealed which says: “Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;” [al-Baqarah 2:223] and the Prophet said: “From the front and from the back, just beware of her anus and her menses”. [an-Nasaa’ee in “`Ishratun-Nisaa” with hasan isnaad, ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua].

‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua: On the authority of Khuzaima ibn Thaabit who said: “A man asked the Prophet about entering women in the rear, or the entering by a man of his wife in her rear, and the Prohet answered: `Halaal (ie. permissible).’ When the man turned to leave, the Prophet called him or ordered for him to be called back and said : “What did you say? I le a le 2 Tatala na e uiga? Afai o le a le uiga o lau mea mai lona tua ma i totonu o lona vagina, Ioe ioe. Ae afai o le uiga o lau mea mai lona tua ma lona ita, ona leai lea. E moni allah e le maasiasi i le mea moni – Aua le ulufale i au ava i a latou manatu!” [Asfi, Al-Baihaqi ma isi: ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua]

Tulaga fa: “Allah e le tilotilo i le tasi e sau i lona toalua i lona taliga”. [Angelavaovao: Hasan Isnaad ma lagolagoina i totonu “al-''”; I-tipolo ma ibn hibaban].

Tulaga lima: “Fetuu o i latou e o atu i a latou ava i a latou aseu.” [Aboo Dawood, Ahmad ma isi ma Hassan isnaad ma lagolagoina].

Tulaga ono: “Poʻo ai lava e faia le feusuaʻi i se fafine mafaufau, po o se fafine i lona ita, pe faʻalatalata atu i se soto o le sooupu ma talitonu i le mea ua taʻu o le le talitonuina o le mea sa faʻaalia i le mea na faʻaalia i Muhammad. [Aboo Dawood, ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua: ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua].

7. Faia o Wudhuu’ va 2 Galu ma le ava a se tasi

When a Muslim man has had sexual intercourse with his wife in the legal manner and then wishes to return another time, he should first perform wudhuu’, based on the statement of the Prophet : “When one of you comes to his wife and then wishes to return another time, let him perform wudhuu’ between the 2 taimi (I se isi lomiga, the same wudhuu’ which he performs for prayer) for verily, it will invigorate his return.“[Mosalemi, Ibn Abi Shaibah and others].

8. Bathing is preferable

Bathing, peita'i, is preferable to merely making wudhuu’ in such situations. Abu Raafi’ narrates: “That the Prophet made the rounds of all his wives one night, bathing in the house of each one. O ia (i.e. the narrator) asked the Prophet: “Couldn’t you have just bathed once (i.e. at the end)? e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia. : “This way is purer, cleaner and better”. [Aboo Daawood, Angelavaovao: Hasan in “al-''”, and others].

9. The Bathing of Husband and Wife together

It is permissible for the husband and wife to bath together in the same place even though he sees her private parts, and she sees his. This is established by a number of authentic hadith, among them:

On the authority of ‘Aa’ishah (radiallahu anha) o ai na fai mai: “I used to bathe with the Prophet from a single container of water which was placed between us such that our hands collided inside it. He used to race me such that I would say: `Leave some for me, leave some for me!’ Na ia faaopoopo: `We were in a state of Janaba (i.e. the state of having slept together).'”[Al-Bukharee and Muslim].

On the authority of Mu’aawiya ibn Haida, o ai na fai mai: “Sa ou fai atu: `O Messenger of Allaah, which of our nakedness is allowed, and of which must we beware?’ e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia., “Guard your nakedness excpet from your wife or those whom your right hand possesses.” (So it is permissible for both spouses to look at and touch the body of his or her companion even the private parts). Sa ia fai mai: `O Messenger of Allah, what about if the relatives live together with each other?’ e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia. : “If you can make sure that no one ever sees your nakedness, then do so.” Sa ia fai mai: `O Messenger of Allah, what about when one is alone?’ ‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: “Allah is more deserving of your modesty than are the people”.“[Ahmad, ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua, ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua: ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua].

10. Faia o Wudhuu’ after Sex and before Sleeping

It is best for husband and wife not to sleep after having sex until they first perform wudhuu’. There are various hadith about this, among them:

‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: On the authority of ‘Aa’shah who said: “Whenever the Prophet wished to sleep or eat while in a state of Janaba (i.e. after having sex and before bathing), he would wash his private parts and perform wudhuu’ as for prayer.” [Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim].

Tulaga lua: I luga o le pule o IBN '' UMAR o loo fai mai: “Le Avefeau a Allah, tatau ona tatou o e moe i se setete o jababa?” e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia.: “ioe, ina ua mavae le tau.” [Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]. I se isi lomiga: “Faatino le wudhuu’ ma fufulu au vaega tumaoti, ona moe lea.” [Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]. Ma, ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua: “ioe, E mafai ona e faia wudhuu ', moe, ma taai i taimi uma e te manao ai.” [Mosalemi ma al-baihaqi]. Ma, I se isi lomiga: “ioe, ma faatino wudhuiu’ A e finagalo.” (O lenei lomiga mulimuli e faʻamaonia ai o lenei wudhuu’ e le aoga.) [Ibn Khuzima ma Ibn Hibaban: ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua].

‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua: I luga o le pule o 'ammar Ibn Yasir, e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia.: “E i ai le tolu o le a le mafai e agelu: O le tino o le le mautonu; O se tamaloa o loʻo ofuina le manogi o fafine; ma, O se tasi na faia feusuaiga seia uma ona ia faia wudhuu '.” [‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua, Ahmad ma isi: ‘O lea ma le tele o sana.].

11. Le pule o lenei wudhuu’

Sseeek’ e le faamalosia, ae matua sili atu ma mautinoa. Lenei (i.e. e le faamalosia) is based on the hadith narrated by ‘Umar in which he asked the Prophet: “Should we go to sleep in a state of janaba?” To which the Prophet answered: “ioe, ma faatino wudhuiu’ if you wish.” [Ibn Hibbaan: ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua]. This is also supported by other hadith, among them a hadith narrated by ‘Aa’ishah who said: “The Prophet used to sleep in a state of janaba without having touched water, until he would get up later and bathe.” [Ibn Abi Shaiba, at-Tirmidhee, Abu Daawood and others: ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua].

In another version narrated by ‘Aa’ishah , e sili atu ona pele i lana lava fanau pe afai na te le iloa le Perofeta: ““He used to spend the night in a state of janaba until Bilal came in the morning to make the adhaan. e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia., he would get up, bathe while I looked at the water dripping from his head, and go out. e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia., I would hear his voice in the Fajr prayer. e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia., he would remain fasting.” Mutarrif said: “I said to Aamir: In the month of Ramadhaan?” Sa ia fai mai: “ioe, in Ramadhaan and in other than Ramadhaan.” [Ibn Abi Shaiba, Ahmad ma isi: ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua].

12. Making Tayammum in a state of Janaba instead of Wudhuu’

It is also permissible to make Tayammum sometimes instead of wudhuu’ a o lei momoe. This is based on a hadith of ‘Aa’ishah in which she said: “When the Prophet was in a state of janaba and wished to sleep, he used to make wudhuu’ or Tayammum.” [Al-Baihaqi: ‘O lea ma le tele o sana.]

13. Bathing before Sleeping is Perferable

Bathing however, is perferable to any of the above-mentioned possibilities as is clear in the hadith of `Abullaah ibn Qais who said: “I asked ‘Ai’ishah : “What did the Prophet do when in a state of janaba? Did he bathe before sleeping or sleep before bathing?” She answered: “He did all of those things. Sometimes he bathe and then slept. And sometimes he performed wudhuu’ and then slept.” Sa ou fai atu: “Praise be to Allah who made things flexible.“[Mosalemi, Ahmad and Abu `Auwaana].

14. The Prohibition of sex when She is Menstruating

It is forbidden for a Muslim man to have sexual intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating. This is clear in the following verse of the Qur’an:

“They ask thee concerning women’s courses. Fai mai: They are a hurt and a pollution: So keep away from women in their courses, and do not approach them until they are clean. But when they have purified themselves, ye may approach them in any manner, taimi, or place ordained for you by Allah. For Allah loves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean.” [Al-Baqarah, 2:222]

There are also hadith about this, among them:

‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: “Whoever has sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman, po o se fafine i lona ita, or approaches a soothsayer and believes what he is told has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad.”

Tulaga lua: On the authority of Anas ibn Malik, o ai na fai mai: “When one of their women has their period, the Jews used to put her out of the house, and they would not eat, drink, or sleep with her in the house. The Prophet was asked about this, and Allaah revealed the verse:

“They ask thee concerning women’s courses. Fai mai: They are a hurt and a pollution: so keep away from women in their courses, …

Then the Prophet said: “Be with them in the house, and do everything except for intercourse itself.” The Jews said: “This man wants to leave nothing which we do without doing something different.” e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia., Asyad ibn Hudair said: “Le Avefeau a Allah, verily the Jews says such-and-such, shoudl we not then have sexual intercourse during menstruation?” The Prophet’s face changed such that they thought that he was enraged with them, o lea na latou tuua. A o latou o mai i fafo, Na latou vaaia se meaalofa o le susu na aumai i le Perofeta. Ona auina atu lea e le Perofeta se tasi o mulimuli mai ia i latou e inu susu susu, O lea sa latou lagona e leʻi ita tele ia i latou.” [Mosalemi, ABU 'BAWAN MA ABUA DADOOD].

15. O le penitala o le tasi e faia feusuaiga i taimi o ala

O ai lava e manumalo i le manaʻo ma e iai le feusuaiga ma lona toʻalua o loʻo i ai o ia ma o le a le mama o ia e tatau ona maua ai le tau o le tasi talepala 4.25 kalama (4.2315 ia sili atu le fetaui), po o le afa o le aofaiga. Lenei o loʻo faʻavae i luga o le aisi i le 'abdullah ibn' abbas mai le Perofeta e faʻatatau i se tasi e ulufale i lona faletua: “Ia ia tuuina atu e le tasi le faiva ile alofa, pe tasi le afa misa.” [I le tisina, ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua, At-Tabaraani and others: ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua].

16. What is Permissible when She is on her Periods

It is allowed for him to enjoy pleasure with his wife in any way except for her private parts when she is on her period. There are several hadiths about this:

‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: “and do everything except intercourse itself.” [Mosalemi, Abu ‘Auwaana and Aboo Daawood]

Tulaga lua: On the authority of ‘Aa’ishah who said: “When we were on our periods, the Prophet used to order us to put on a waist cloth that her husband can then lie with her.” One time she said: “… her husband can then fondle and caress her.” [al-Bukhaaree, I se isi lomiga].

‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua: On the authority of one of the wives of the Prophet who said: “When the Prophet wanted something from one of his wives who was on her period, he put a cloth over her private parts, and then did whatever he wanted.” [Abo Daawood: ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua]

17. When is it Allowed to resume Sexual Activity after Menses?

When she becomes clean of any menstrual blood, and the flow stops completely, it is allowed for them to resume sexual activity after she washes the place where the blood had been, or performs wudhuu’, or takes a complete bath. Whichever of these three alternatives she does makes it allowed for them to resume sexual activity, based on Allaah’s statement in the Qur’an:

“But when they have purified themselves, ye may approach them in any manner, taimi, or place ordained for you by Allah. For Allah loves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean.” [Al-Baqarah 2:222]

This is the position of Ibn Hazm, ‘Ataa, Qatadah, al-Awzaa’ee and Daawud az-Zaahiree and of Mujaahid: as Ibn Hazm says: “All three of these are a purification – so whichever of them she uses after the cessation of her periods, then she is lawful for her husband.”

The same term is used to mean washing the private parts in the Aayah revealed concerning the people of Qubaa:

“In it are men who love to be purified; and Allah loves those who make themselves pure.” [at-Tawbah 9:108]

There is nothing here in the Aayah however, or in the Sunnah, to restrict the Aayah in question to any of the three meanings – and to do so requires a further proof.

18. The Lawfulness of Coitus Interruptus

(Withdrawl of the penis from the vagina at the time of ejaculation with the purpose of avoiding impregnation. This can be done only with the permission of one’s wife).

It is allowed for a Muslim man to practise coitus interruptus with his wife. There are several hadith about this:

‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: On the authority of Jaabir who said: “We were practising coitus interruptus, and the Qur’an was being revealed.” [al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]. I se isi lomiga, o lana tala lea: “Sa masani ona matou faataitai faamalosi tagata faalavelave i le olaga atoa o le Perofeta. Na ala lea i le Perofeta, ma sa leʻi faʻatigogaina ma oʻo mai ia te ia mai le faia.” [Mosalemi, A-NASAʻE].

Tulaga lua: I luga o le pule a Abu Saʻeed Al-Khudhriy, o ai na fai mai: “Na sau se tamaloa i le Perofeta ma fai mai: “E i ai sau teine ​​talavou (taumatau-lima), ma ou te faʻataʻitaʻi coitos faalavelave mai ia te ia. Ou te manaʻo i mea o loʻo manaʻo ai tagata, Ae o tagata Iutaia ua latou faia o le CITUS faalavelave mai o le tele o le tamaoaiga.” ‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: “Ua pepelo tagata Iutaia, Ua pepelo tagata Iutaia. Afai o Allah manao e fai se tamaititi, E le mafai ona e taofia.” [A-ra-a-'': Abu Dawwood ma isi: ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua].

‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua: I luga o le pule a Iaabir, Na sau se tamaloa i le Perofeta ma fai mai: “E i ai laʻu teine ​​pologa e tautuaina matou ma vai o matou tafaoga laau. O nisi taimi ou te alu ai ia te ia, but I dislike that she should become pregnant by me”. ‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: “use coitus interruptus if you like, but whatever has been ordained for her will come.” After some time, the man again came to the Prophet and said: “She has become pregnant!” The Prophettold him: “I told you that whatever has been ordained for her will come.” [Mosalemi, Abu Dawwood ma isi].

19. It is Preferrable not to Practice Coitus Interruptus.

Not practising coitus interruptus is preferable for a number of reasons:

‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: It is harmful for the woman, since it reduces her pleasure by cutting it short. If she agrees to it, it still contains the following negetive points.

Tulaga lua: It negates part of the purpose of marriage which is enlarging the Muslim nation through offspring, as in the statement of the Prophet: “Marry the loving and fertile, for I will compete with the other Prophets with the number of my followers.” [‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua, an-Nasaa’ee and others: ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua]. This is why the Prophet once referred to it as “minor infanticide” (and not because it is forbidden as infanticide is forbidden) when asked about it saying: “That is minor infanticide”. [Mosalemi, Ahmad and al-Baihaqi]. For this was preferable in the hadith narrated by Abu Sa’eed al-Khudhriy saying: “Coitus Interruptus was mentioned in the presence of the Prophet and he said: “Why would one of you do that? (note he did not say “let none of you do that”) Allah is the Creator of every single soul.” [Mosalemi]. I se isi lomiga, o lana tala lea: “You act and you act. There are no people destined to be from now until the day of Qiyama but that all of them will be.” [Mosalemi]

20. What the two Spouses should Intend with their Marriage

Both spouses should enter into marriage with the following intentions: Faʻasaʻoina i latou lava o le le aoga o manaʻoga feusuaʻi, ma puipuia i latou lava mai le pau i totonu o le mea na faasaina ai (i.e. mulilua ma le faitaaga). O le a le sili atu, o se taui o le taui mo Sadaqa (ofo le tuuina o le alofa mama) ua faamaumauina mo i latou i taimi uma latou te faia feusuaiga. Lenei faʻavae i luga o le mea lea o le taimi nei o le phhit na lipotia mai e Abu Dharr: “O nisi o soa o le perofeta o fai atu ia te ia: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, O le tele o mea i totonu o tatou ua ave taui (o le olaga a sau)! Latou te tatalo a o tatou tatalo, Anapogi A o Tatou Anapogi, ona latou tuuina mai lea o le alofa mutimutivale mai i mea e sili atu o latou oa!” ‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: “Na le faia e Allah mo oe lena mea mai le mea e mafai ona e maua ai le metaqa? Moni mo taimi uma e te fai atu subhannallah (Faaeaina o Allah) E i ai le metaqa, ma mo taimi uma e te fai mai ai allahuakbar (Allah e sili ona lelei) E i ai le metaqa, and for every time you say Al-Hamdulillah (Praise is to Allah) there is sadaqa, and in every act of enjoining what is right there is sadaqa, and in every act of forbidding what is wrong there is a sadaqa, and in your sexual relations there is a sadaqa.” The Companions said: “e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia. , is there a reward for one of us when he satisfies his sexual desire?” ‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: “Don’t you see, if he had satisfied it with the forbidden, would there not have been a sin upon him?” Sa latou fai mai: “Aisea, ioe! Sa ia fai mai: “In the same way, when he satisfies it with that which is lawful, there is for him in that a reward.” [Mosalemi, an-Nasaa’ee in al-‘Ishrah, and Ahamd].

21. What he should do the Morning After His Wedding Night

It is desireable for the husband to go to his relatives who came to visit him in his house, on the following morning, to give them greetings and pray for them. It is also desireable for them to do likewise for him, as in the following hadith narrated by Anas : “The Messenger of Allaah gave a feast on the morning of his wedding night with Zainab, at which he fed the Muslims to satisfaction on bread and meat. e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia., he went out to the Mothers of the Believers (i.e. to his other wives), gave them greetings and prayed for them, which they returned in kind. This is the way he used to do on the morning after a wedding night.” [Ibn Sa’d and an-Nasaa’ee: ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua].

22. The House must have a Place for Bathing

The married couple must have a place to bathe in their house, and the husband must not allow his wife to go to the public bath houses. This is forbidden, and there are various hadith about it, among them:

‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: On the authority of Jaabir who said: “‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: “Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him not allow his wife to go to the Public baths. Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him not go to the baths except with a waist-cloth. And whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him never sit at a table at which intoxicants are being circulated.” [Al-Haakim, ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua: ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua]

Tulaga lua: On the authority of Umm ad-Dardaa’ o ai na fai mai: “I came out of the public bath and I met Allaah’s Messenger who said to me: ‘From where have you come O Umm Dardaa’?’ Sa ou fai atu: ‘From the baths’. Ona ia fai mai lea: “By the One in whose hand is my soul, every woman who removes her clothes anywhere except the house of one of her mothers has torn down all that veils her before ar-Rahman.” [Ahmad : ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua]

‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua: On the authority of Abu al-Maleeh who said: “Some women from Ash-Shaam entered upon ‘Aa’ishah and said: “O fea ete sau ai?” The women answered: “We are of the people of Ash-Shaam (the area of present-day Syria ).” ‘Aa’ishah said: “Are you perhaps from that district which allows its women to enter the public baths?” The said: “ioe”. Fai mai a ia: “As for me, I heard the Messenger of Allaah say: “Every woman who removes her clothes other than in her house has torn down all veils of modesty between herself and Allaah.” [at-Tirmidhee, Abu Dawwood ma isi: ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua]

23. The Prohibition of Spreading Bedroom Secrets

It is forbidden for either the husband or the wife to spread any of the secrets of their bedroom to anyone outside. The following two hadith are about this:

‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: “Verily among the worst people before Allaah on the Day of Judgement is a man who approaches his wife sexually and she responds and then he spreads her secrets.” [Mosalemi, Ibn Abi Shaiba, Ahmad ma isi].

Tulaga lua: “On the authority of Asmaa bint Yazid who narrated “that she was once in the presence of the Prophet and there were both men and women sitting. The Prophet then said: “Perhaps a man might discuss what he does with his wife, or perhaps a woman might inform someone what she did with her husband?” The people were silent. Then I said: “‘O lea ma le tele o sana., ioe! O Messenger of Allaah verily both the women and men do that.” Then the Prophet said: “Aua le faia lena mea. It is like a male shaitaan who meets a female shaitaan along the way, and has sex with her while the people look on!” [Ahmad: Hasan or Saheeh due to supports]

24. Se Tausamiga Faaipoipoga

Se Tausamiga Faaipoipoga. Se Tausamiga Faaipoipoga, Se Tausamiga Faaipoipoga, o ai na fai mai: “Se Tausamiga Faaipoipoga (Se Tausamiga Faaipoipoga) Se Tausamiga Faaipoipoga, Se Tausamiga Faaipoipoga: “Se Tausamiga Faaipoipoga (Se Tausamiga Faaipoipoga “Se Tausamiga Faaipoipoga”) Se Tausamiga Faaipoipoga” Se Tausamiga Faaipoipoga: “Se Tausamiga Faaipoipoga: ‘(Se Tausamiga Faaipoipoga) Se Tausamiga Faaipoipoga’ Se Tausamiga Faaipoipoga: ‘O lea ma le tele o sana.” [‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: ‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: 9/188]

25. ‘O lea ma le tele o sana.

‘O lea ma le tele o sana.:

‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: ‘O lea ma le tele o sana. (‘O lea ma le tele o sana. – ‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: 9/242-244) ‘O lea ma le tele o sana., ‘O lea ma le tele o sana.. On the authority of Anas who said: “The Prophet entered upon his wife and sent me to invite some men for food.” [‘O lea ma le tele o sana.]. ‘O lea ma le tele o sana., o lana tala lea: “‘O lea ma le tele o sana., ‘O lea ma le tele o sana.. ‘O lea ma le tele o sana.” [‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: ‘O lea ma le tele o sana.].

Tulaga lua: ‘O lea ma le tele o sana.. ‘O lea ma le tele o sana.: “‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua, and have only the pious eat your food.” [‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua, ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua: ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua].

‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua: ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua, ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua. ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua, ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua: “‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua, ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua’ ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua. ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua, ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua, ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua. ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua: “‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua, ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua (‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua: “… ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua”), ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua (‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua: “… ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua”). E lē gata i lea, ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua (‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua, ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua, ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua), ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua, ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua. ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua, e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia.” e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia.: “leai, e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia., e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia.. e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia.”e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia.. e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia.. e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia. , e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia.. e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia., e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia.. e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia.: “e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia.?” Sa ia fai mai: “e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia., e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia.” e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia.: “e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia.?” e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia.: “e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia.” e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia., e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia.: “e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia., e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia.” e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia.: “Ua ou vaai ia te au lava i se tulaga faapea afai ou te sii i luga se maa, Ua ou vaai ia te au lava i se tulaga faapea afai ou te sii i luga se maa” ‘Aua ne‘i ‘avea ‘outou ma uō a se isi se‘i vaganā ai ē fa‘atuatua: “Ua ou vaai ia te au lava i se tulaga faapea afai ou te sii i luga se maa” [Ua ou vaai ia te au lava i se tulaga faapea afai ou te sii i luga se maa, Ua ou vaai ia te au lava i se tulaga faapea afai ou te sii i luga se maa- Ua ou vaai ia te au lava i se tulaga faapea afai ou te sii i luga se maa].

Ua ou vaai ia te au lava i se tulaga faapea afai ou te sii i luga se maa: “Ua ou vaai ia te au lava i se tulaga faapea afai ou te sii i luga se maa. He slaughtered a sheep and fed everyone meat and bread until they ate no more.” [Ua ou vaai ia te au lava i se tulaga faapea afai ou te sii i luga se maa, Ua ou vaai ia te au lava i se tulaga faapea afai ou te sii i luga se maa].

26. Wedding Feasts can be with Other than Meat

Ua ou vaai ia te au lava i se tulaga faapea afai ou te sii i luga se maa, Ua ou vaai ia te au lava i se tulaga faapea afai ou te sii i luga se maa. Ua ou vaai ia te au lava i se tulaga faapea afai ou te sii i luga se maa: “Sa nofo le Perofeta i le va o Khaibar ma al-Madeenah mo aso e tolu na ia ulufale atu ai ma lona faletua o Safiya. . Sa nofo le Perofeta i le va o Khaibar ma al-Madeenah mo aso e tolu na ia ulufale atu ai ma lona faletua o Safiya.. Sa nofo le Perofeta i le va o Khaibar ma al-Madeenah mo aso e tolu na ia ulufale atu ai ma lona faletua o Safiya.. Sa nofo le Perofeta i le va o Khaibar ma al-Madeenah mo aso e tolu na ia ulufale atu ai ma lona faletua o Safiya., Sa nofo le Perofeta i le va o Khaibar ma al-Madeenah mo aso e tolu na ia ulufale atu ai ma lona faletua o Safiya., Sa nofo le Perofeta i le va o Khaibar ma al-Madeenah mo aso e tolu na ia ulufale atu ai ma lona faletua o Safiya., Sa nofo le Perofeta i le va o Khaibar ma al-Madeenah mo aso e tolu na ia ulufale atu ai ma lona faletua o Safiya.. The people ate their fill.” [Ua ou vaai ia te au lava i se tulaga faapea afai ou te sii i luga se maa, Ua ou vaai ia te au lava i se tulaga faapea afai ou te sii i luga se maa].

27. Sa nofo le Perofeta i le va o Khaibar ma al-Madeenah mo aso e tolu na ia ulufale atu ai ma lona faletua o Safiya.

It is commendable for the wealthy to help in the preparations for the wedding feast based on the hadith narrated by Anas about the Prophet’s marriage to Safiya: “e mafai ona e faaipoipo ia te ia., Sa nofo le Perofeta i le va o Khaibar ma al-Madeenah mo aso e tolu na ia ulufale atu ai ma lona faletua o Safiya., Sa nofo le Perofeta i le va o Khaibar ma al-Madeenah mo aso e tolu na ia ulufale atu ai ma lona faletua o Safiya. (Sa nofo le Perofeta i le va o Khaibar ma al-Madeenah mo aso e tolu na ia ulufale atu ai ma lona faletua o Safiya.) Sa nofo le Perofeta i le va o Khaibar ma al-Madeenah mo aso e tolu na ia ulufale atu ai ma lona faletua o Safiya. (Sa nofo le Perofeta i le va o Khaibar ma al-Madeenah mo aso e tolu na ia ulufale atu ai ma lona faletua o Safiya., Sa nofo le Perofeta i le va o Khaibar ma al-Madeenah mo aso e tolu na ia ulufale atu ai ma lona faletua o Safiya.. Ona ia fai mai lea: “Sa nofo le Perofeta i le va o Khaibar ma al-Madeenah mo aso e tolu na ia ulufale atu ai ma lona faletua o Safiya., Sa nofo le Perofeta i le va o Khaibar ma al-Madeenah mo aso e tolu na ia ulufale atu ai ma lona faletua o Safiya.” (I se isi lomiga, o lana tala lea “I se isi lomiga, Sa nofo le Perofeta i le va o Khaibar ma al-Madeenah mo aso e tolu na ia ulufale atu ai ma lona faletua o Safiya.”) I se isi lomiga: “I se isi lomiga, I se isi lomiga (I se isi lomiga). I se isi lomiga, I se isi lomiga” [Ua ou vaai ia te au lava i se tulaga faapea afai ou te sii i luga se maa, I se isi lomiga].

Sheikh Muhammad Naasirudden al-Albaani
Book of Etiquetts of Marriage and Wedding

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Punavai: http://abdurrahman.org/women/etoquetteofmarriagewedding.html