Mibvunzo Yako Inopindurwa

I distinctly remember before getting married, I was willing to put up with anything, except living with in-laws. It seems selfish and harsh, but that was the case, as it is with so many other women going into marriage. Why is this so? Why are we taught to think that the in-laws will be our worst enemies?

Wherever we look, whether it is in the movies or on popular TV sitcoms, the in-laws are made fun of, they show that never can anyone have a peaceful relationship with their in-laws. Asi, is this really the case? Can we actually have a beneficial relationship or even friendship with our in-laws?

I, like most other women, have had issues with my in-laws. Most of these issues have to do with my space, housework, and raising children. When it comes down to it, Ini ndine pfungwa iyi yekuti madzinza angu asingafarire chero chandiri kuita. Zvisinei, Izvo zvandauya kuzodzidza ndezvekuti mazhinji ari mumusoro mangu. Chokwadi, baba vangu vanomiririra vane zvakawanda zvekutaura nezve chikafu uye pakubika kwangu dzimwe nguva, Asi izvozvo zvine basa here?? Uye amai vangu vemurayiridzo vanogara vachiisa mumasenti ake maviri nezvekurera vana, Asi ari kungoedza kubatsira.

Zvirokwazvo, Pane zviitiko zvemitemo zvisina kunaka uye kuva netarisiro dzechokwadi dzemwanasikana wavo, Asi ndine chokwadi chekuti izvi hazvisi izvo zvakajairwa. Ini ndinofunga kuti isu sevakadzi vanopinda muwanano vane pfungwa dzisina kunaka dzekuti ivo-vatinonhuhadzwa sei uye vachiita. Isu tinodzidziswa kuti isu tinofanirwa kuve nechedu nzvimbo uye tinofanira kuita zvinhu nenzira yedu mumhuri dzedu nevarume vedu.

Zvisinei, Islamically Kutaura, is this any way to think of your husband’s parents? Chokwadi, the same respect should be given to them as our own parents.

Nguva zhinji, seemingly little things can turn into heated arguments, or are just turn into a big deal. Here are some examples:

• Your in-laws are coming over for the weekend. You put up a fit and start getting stressed out. Saka, what is the big deal? It’s only for a weekend, and then they will depart. Chokwadi, you can be civil, patient and hospitable for a weekend.

• Your father in-law makes a remark about your cooking. Eheka, you are offended, but how would you react if your father made the same comment? It wouldn’t matter as much. Saka, try to look at this in the same light.

• Your mother in-law tries to tell you how to raise your kids…again! This is going to happen, whether you like it or not. You know how you want to raise your kids, so just listen, say thankyou and then do it the way you think is best. Zvisinei, it is important to note that many times there is a lot of wisdom behind what they are saying, so at least hear them out.

• Your in-laws prefer that you call them everyday. Zvisinei, you find this difficult to do, with your busy schedule. Whenever you call, you have to hear an earful from them. The best thing to do is to try and call more often, and whenever you can’t, just apologize.

• There is a wedding in the family and you are expected to do certain things or dress a certain way, etc. As long as you are not doing something against Islaam, try to be patient and go along with what they are saying. Shure kwezvose, it won’t kill you.

• Every time your in-laws spend time with your children, they feed them candy, and plenty of it! This is a tough situation. You don’t want to offend your in-laws, but at the same time, you don’t want your kids to have tooth decay! I have found the best way is to let your husband deal with it. If that fails, then take your in-laws aside and explain to them gently how you feel. If it still continues, then a little candy every time they visit can’t be that bad for the children.

• You make the horrible mistake of having an argument with your husband in front of your in-laws. Don’t ever make this mistake again. It is easy for you and your husband to forgive and forget, but much more difficult for your in-laws.

• Every time you try to discipline your children, your in-laws jump in and rescue them. Kunyangwe izvi zvichishungurudza zvakanyanya, Iwe unofanirwa kubvuma chokwadi chekuti vanasekuru nanambori variko kuzotora vana vako. Ingozviita. Kana ikasvika padanho rekuti iwe haugone kuzvibata uye uwane iwe uchishungurudzika kunze, Wobva waita hurukuro nemateereri ako nezvazvo.

• Kunyangwe iwe wakaedza zvakadii, Iwe haugone kuve iwe pachako uchitenderedza mumitemo yako. Munhu wega anogona kuchinja izvi, uye tanga kuve nehukama chaihwo navo, ndiwe here. Kana iwe uchinge watanga kuvhura uye kushandisa nguva yakawanda navo, havachazovi muvengi, Asi zvakanyanya kunge mubereki kana shamwari kwauri.

Isu tinofanirwa kuyeuka kuti hukama hwematekinari edu akafanana chero. Ndipo patinoisa mairi, ndipo patinozobuda mazviri. Uye, Sevakadzi vechiMuslim, Tinofanira kuziva kuti Jannah anowanikwa zvakanyanya kwatiri, Kana Varume Vedu Vanofara. Imwe nzira yekuchengeta varume vedu vachifara, kuve nehukama hwakanaka nemhuri dzavo. Uye, Kana zvisingaite kuita izvozvo, zvadaro zvirinani kuvaitira mutsa uye uve nemoyo murefu navo.

Kungofanana nevamwe maMuslim, Mitezo yedu zvakare ndevamwe hama dzechiMuslim nehanzvadzi. Tinofanira kudanana kana tichida kuwana Jannah, Sezvakataurwa mune inotevera hadheeth ,

Dai Allah (swt) ita hukama hwedu nevatinonomutauri veduwe, Muhupenyu huno uye pano panor! Aameen!

Source: Umm Ibrahim Al-Murtaza, http://idealmuslimah.com/family/in-laws/133-the-in-laws