Something For Sisters To Look Out For

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By Pure Matrimony -

In a marriage, both parties need to put forth effort, be committed, and be respectful for the union to be a mutually satisfying and loving one. When both partners are emotionally well balanced and the relationship dynamic is healthy, this work can make the marriage enjoyable and successful in the long term. Unfortunately, there are instances where a healthy relationship dynamic is virtually impossible to achieve because of a personality disorder. These disorders affect a person’s thinking and behavior in such a way that interpersonal relationships are often very negatively affected.

A personality disorder that is commonly very destructive in relationships is narcissism, and it is more commonly diagnosed in men.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the diagnostic classification system used in the United States, as,

“A pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.”

The narcissist is described as being excessively preoccupied with issues of personal adequacy, power, and prestige. Narcissistic personality disorder is closely linked to self-centeredness.

If you find yourself often bewildered or hurt by your husband’s actions and nothing seems to change, it is possible that the explanation could be narcissism. While only a licensed mental health professional can diagnose a personality disorder, it is helpful to know the signs of narcissism. Here are 8 indicators that your husband might be a narcissist,

1. Your partner displays a lack of empathy for others. This means that he doesn’t put himself in the shoes of others, and doesn’t identify properly with the feelings and needs of others. This frequently leads to acts that are self serving and callous.

2. Your husband has an idea of himself that is grandiose and holds his worth exceedingly high. This is not having a healthy ego, but inflating and exaggerating accomplishments beyond true measure.

3. Your husband adopts a superior, arrogant or haughty attitude toward others. He may have a sense of entitlement and expect preferential treatment from those around him.

4. Due to his sense of being superior and “special”, your husband might likewise expect to associate with other “special” people and/or institutions.

5. Your husband may require and pursue excessive amounts of admiration. This can become like a drug to the narcissist, with all efforts geared toward obtaining this “narcissistic supply” from whatever source is available and preferred. Whether through sexual conquests, work or academic advancement, a narcissist is focused on getting that external validation.

6. Jealousy may be an emotion frequently expressed. Your husband feels threatened by the successes of others and can even become enraged at the thought that anyone else is attracting attention away from him.

7. Exploitative behaviors are common, as your husband may have no qualms about stepping on others to achieve his aims and agendas.

8. Your spouse may think about things in an idealized way, fantasizing extensively about “ideal” love, beauty, and/or power. You may have the unfortunate experience of being put up on a pedestal as an ideal partner, then later devalued as completely worthless and dismissed or discarded. Often there is little ground in between these two extremes.
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8 Comments to Something For Sisters To Look Out For

  1. Here in the UK this is not uncommon amongst women too and it often undermines a husband’s valiant efforts to help his wife through this condition when all around her there are indicators that it is her husband and not she who has the problem. While I recognise that the article did mention that this is a condition ‘more commonly diagnosed in men’ I believe this is because it is very difficult to diagnose a woman with this disorder when society is programmed not to see it in women. For example, if a woman gets angry with her husband, it is justified and understandable, but when a husband gets angry with his wife, he has ‘anger issues’ and needs to be watched for signs of abuse; when a woman hides things from her husband, she is exercising her independents, but if a man keeps anything from his wife, he is undermining the relationship; if a woman looses her temper in public and belittles her husband, it is normal, but when a man looses his temper in public and belittles his wife, he is branded abusive; when a woman slaps her husband, he is expected to ‘man up’ and nobody bats an eye, yet if a husband were to slap his wife, he’d be arrested and could spend up to two years in prison. See how the societal balence is off kilter?
    I know of numerous instances in which a woman has behaved in such a way that, had her husband behaved he would have been arrested, yet in pointing out these concerns, the husband has been accused of trying to make people think his wife is insane when he’s the cause of the problem. Yet, despite the behaviour of the woman being pointed out and the husband trying to get her the help she needs, she has been ecouraged to leave the husband and the marriages have ended in divorce – and in most of these cases, the woman STILL is not seen to have done anything wrong and no diagnosisis forthcoming.

    • Anonnymous Muslimah

      With all due respect, no matter how wrong a woman is in her actions, slapping her is totally and utterly forbidden in islam. I mean, don’t get me wrong- slapping your husband is also wrong, but what you have to realise is that women were made weaker than men- fact. A man is capable of doing more harm to his wife if he were to hit her, than the other way around (unless the man is significantly weaker than the wife, which seems rare).
      But the other doubles standards i agree with- no woman should belittle or speak to her husband in a displeasing mannor, and vise versa. I just felt that the comment about hitting a wife should be addressed, as it very dangerous to think ‘if she can do it so can i’.

  2. I agree. As plenty of women take up traditional roles of “men”, they are just as susceptible to the same problems prevalent in the opposite sex. Men will always have their egos & sense of detachment, root of many crude & harshness. But the above qualities, I actually find, applies to quite a number of selfish person these days.

  3. I have been searching for info on ‘NPD’ and came across your excellent summary. My friend’s husband displays a high degree of narcissism but I sense it is something more of an NPD syndrome. Having read your comments I am now certain this is the case. Also there are regular jealous rages etc. very helpful post, thanks.

  4. What is the diagnosis…if a husband have allthese symptoms but just directed towards his inlaws..I mean towrad parnts and brothers of his wife…..

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