நூலாசிரியர்: தூய திருமணம்
The QUALITY of the spouse you attract weighs heavily on what kind of questions you ask!
The truth is that if your meetings with a potential spouse are filled with silences and not knowing what to say, you’re doing a bad job in REALLY getting to know someone. It isn’t enough to marry someone just because they like the same things as you do – this is NOT what compatibility is about!
Real compatibility comes from knowing whether or not the person you intend to marry has the same outlook on life as you do!
So here’s some of the key things you NEED to ask a potential spouse (and please don’t be shy, because this is the rest of your life so you’ve got to get it right!)
- Whether they have previously been in a relationship
- How they intend on raising kids
- What their relationship with Allah is like
- What their goals and aspirations are
- How they see themselves as a spouse
- What their expectations are regarding in-laws
- How financially fit they are
- What their aqeedah is
- How practicing they are
- What are their expectations of marriage
Don’t be afraid to ask questions, and certainly never feel embarrassed about asking what they expect from their spouse – especially if you are a sister. The outcome of your marriage and whether this experience is good or bad, happy or sad will hinge a LOT on the responses you get from a potential partner in your initial meetings.
Plus, asking these questions will catch them off guard, so you’re more likely to get a better response. Your aim is not to make them feel uncomfortable, rather, you’re trying to establish whether or not it’s worth your time to pursue additional meetings.
To help you with some really detailed questions to ask, consider downloading our ‘Prepare For Marriage’ Toolkit which contains everything you need to find the right spouse, including over 100 critical questions you need to ask before you say ‘I do’!
Now there’s no excuse to have any awkward silences or not knowing what to say or ask!
If you’ve made it through your first meeting in a positive way, continue the momentum by requesting further meetings and see what happens…and don’t forget to do your istikhara!
Pure Matrimony – Helping Practising Muslims Get Together And Stay Together!