லாரா இருந்து பாடங்கள் – பாகம் 4

post மதிப்பெண்

இந்த பதவியை மதிப்பிடுக

மூலம் தூய ஜாதி -

ஆசிரியர்: Wise Wives

மூல: wisewives.org

இந்த இடுகை கட்டுப்பாட்டு தலைப்பு அர்ப்பணிக்கப்பட்ட போகிறது.

நாம் ஏன் அதை செய்ய? எப்படி நாம் நிறுத்த வேண்டும்?

ஏன் நீங்கள் கேட்க? Well there is only one root cause of control, and that is fear. This fear is usually irrational and usually comes from an insecurity. And the most common justification for control is “I’m just trying to help.”

துரதிருஷ்டவசமாக, எனினும், control is the opposite of love/intimacy. So we need to try to stay away from controlling as much as possible in order to regain love/intimacy in our marriages.

Let’s take a small situation where a person was controlling and try to examine it:

Let’s say you’re in the car with your husband, going somewhere you have both been before and you know he knows directions. Yet you decide to say, “Turn right at the light” just because he wasn’t in the right lane at the same time you would be in the right lane for a right turn.

Of course his reaction is to roll his eyes and say, “really, you think I didn’t know that?” It’s simply insulting to a man to think that his own wife doesn’t trust him to take her from point A to point B. This can leave him frustrated for at least an hour over something you thought was very small and just plain old helpful. You may have thought, “Maybe he forgot or maybe he’s not paying attention.” But in reality he is simply doing something in a different way than you would.

{உண்மையில், let’s say he really wasn’t paying attention or he did forget the directions and missed the turn, it would be better for you to hold your tongue until he passes the turn and then ask, “Sweetie, weren’t we supposed to make a right turn back there?"

In that way, you add 2 minutes to your commute, but gain the satisfaction of knowing you did not insult your husband. After all he is the one driving…so just let him drive!}

If this sounds at all familiar to you then ask yourself the following questions:

1. What were you afraid of at the moment you said, “Turn right”? The most common answer to this would be: being inefficient. You were afraid of missing the turn and not getting to your destination in the most direct way.

2. Was your fear realistic? செய்ய முடியாது. In the end it doesn’t matter if you missed the turn, that’s why they invented U-turns!

3. What’s the worst thing that could have happened if you hadn’t controlled the situation? Being a couple minutes later to your destination.

4. Was controlling that particular situation worth losing the intimacy it cost you? இல்லை!

Try this: The next time you feel the urge to control something, whether through words or actions, ask yourself the above 4 questions and remind yourself that your fear (usually irrational) is what is making you do it. Fight that urge, because the cost of losing intimacy with your husband is simply not worth it!

தூய ஜாதி

... பொம்பளைக்கில்லன்னேம்லல கைப்பழக்கம்

மூலம் கட்டுரை- Wise Wives - தூய ஜாதி மூலம் நீங்கள் கொண்டு- www.purematrimony.com - Practising முஸ்லிம்கள் உலகின் மிகப்பெரிய திருமணம் சேவை.

இந்த கட்டுரை காதல்? இங்கே எங்கள் மேம்படுத்தல்கள் பதிவு பெறுவதன் மூலம் மேலும் அறிய:http://purematrimony.com/blog

அல்லது செல்வதன் மூலம் உங்கள் தீன், இன்ஷா பாதி கண்டுபிடிக்க எங்களுடன் பதிவு:www.PureMatrimony.com

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