Muslimah க்கான தாய்மை: என் குழந்தைகள் ஒரு கடிதம்

post மதிப்பெண்

இந்த பதவியை மதிப்பிடுக

மூலம் தூய ஜாதி -

ஆசிரியர்: ஷோஹனா கான்


You are what will walk the earth of me, when I have returned to dust. So I sincerely make dua, after all my actions as a mother have been sealed and done, that is not just my love I leave you with as my legacy, but love and closeness to the Deen of Allah as well.

The task of describing what motherhood means to me, I knew would bring upon a sure spell of writer’s block. Words appear empty, when seeking to verbalise what a mother wishes to. But I realised that words are a way to shed light upon what one wants another to understand. Our majestic creator Allah azza wa jal Himself, chooses words as a means to communicate with His lowly slaves. So I will attempt to describe what motherhood has meant to me and in a letter to those at the centre of itMy children.

So here goes:

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuhu to the three of you.

May you be in the best of health, in the highest of iman.

I begin perhaps with what is easiest to begin with. With the one undeniable fact that is simple to conclude, that remains unchanging with time, tests, difficulties. It is the fact that I love you. Perhaps this was the one thing that should have been left to the climax of the letterBut all know a mother’s love can never wait.

Know however, this love does not come from me. This love was bestowed upon us by the Creator of you and me, Allah SWT. It is incomparable to any worldly thing, definitely deeper than words can go. And the magnitude of this love works wonders you know, because being a mother is by no means easy. This love alongside the strong sense of responsibility of motherhood laid out in our Deen (நம்பிக்கை), has kept me going.

Ibn ‘Umar said, நான் அல்லாஹ்வின் தூதர் கேள்விப்பட்டேன், may Allah bless him and grant him peace say:

“All of you are shepherds and each of you is responsible for his flock. An Imam is a shepherd and he is responsible for those in his care. A man is a shepherd in respect of his family and is responsible for those in his care. The woman is a shepherd in respect of her husband’s house and is responsible for those in her careAll of you are shepherds and each of you is responsible for his flock.”

Indeed this hadith has been fuel for me in those times when it felt like I was the wrong person for the job. For those times when I couldn’t calm down one of your explosive tantrums, or wasn’t able to get one of you to tidy up your mess. For those times when you all collectively needed food, conflict mediation and the changing of a leaked nappy at the same time, I was and am reminded you are the lofty amanah (நம்பிக்கை) sent to me by Allah that I will be accountable for. So I keep going as best I can.

Yes the hadanah (physical care) can be tough, but this never was what kept me up at night. Ask any Muslim mother, what her foremost worry is and I’m sure I can read her lips. For her, the worry of tending her flock by tending to what grants eternal success, or eternal damnation for them, is surely the greatest weight on her back. And I have been no different.

“நம்பியவர்களே!, உங்களையும் உங்கள் குடும்பத்தினரையும் மக்கள் மற்றும் கற்கள் கொண்ட எரிபொருளிலிருந்து பாதுகாக்கவும்,” Surah Tahreem 6

I crave Jannah for you and fear punishment of the Fire, just as I fear for your wellbeing in this dunya. However this ayah is my daily reminder that unless I can best ensure I have held you back from Hellfire, as a mother, as a Muslim mother, there is little or no success for me.

And today, in the world we live in, this task is so hard.

We live in a society where the very idea your whole life should be based around submission to a God, is banished to the small four walls of our homes. Secularism, we call it. And even in those four walls it is not safe. The culture created from secular liberal societies intoxicates its youth, luring them with all senses, maximised. சாத்தியமான ஒவ்வொரு சிற்றின்ப இன்பத்தையும் அனுபவிக்கிறது, சூரியனுக்குக் கீழே எல்லாவற்றையும் சொந்தமாக்க முயல்கிறது, இந்த உலகில் நீங்கள் மட்டுமே பதில் சொல்வது போல் வாழ்வது. இது சட்டவிரோத உறவுகளின் காவிய விளம்பர பலகை மகிமைப்படுத்தல், ஒரு மனப்பான்மையின் நுணுக்கங்களுக்கு, நானும் நானும் ”கலாச்சாரம், அனைத்தும் கவர்ச்சியாக மூடப்பட்டிருக்கும் – எனவே நான் எவ்வாறு போட்டியிடுவேன்?

சரி, நான் போட்டியிடப் போவதில்லை. ஏனென்றால் எனக்குத் தெரியும், நம்புகிறேன், வாழ்க்கையில் தேடுவதற்கு உயர்ந்த ஒன்று இருக்கிறது, இவை அனைத்தையும் விட – இதை நீங்களும் தெரிந்து கொள்ள நான் முயல்கிறேன்.

ஒரு படைப்பாளியின் உறுதியைப் புரிந்துகொள்வது, ஒரு தூதரின் அன்பு மிகவும் தூய்மையானது மற்றும் உண்மை, வாழ்க்கையில் நீங்கள் தடுமாறும் ஒவ்வொரு பிரச்சினையையும் தீர்க்கும் தீனின் பிடிப்பு, நீங்கள் ஒரு உம்மாவின் பிணைப்பு. நான் முழு மனதுடன் போராடுவேன் என்று உறுதியளிக்கிறேன், இதை உங்களிடமிருந்து கொஞ்சம் கொஞ்சமாக உருவாக்க முயற்சிக்கிறேன், talk you through it all at every opportunity, make you feel it whenever possibleif Allah SWT allows me to. I can only make the utmost dua then, that my efforts spark the growth of your minds and hearts, so that they become unwaveringly shaped by this beautyAl Islam.

There will be moments no doubt, when you think these words of mine don’t compete with the Technicolor, kaleidoscopic indulgence that you will be given the option to dip intoBut I will make sure you know these words are not mine.

They come from the Creator of the Heavens and the Earth and all that is within it who has claim to your every breath, your every movement and every blessing in your life. His words I promise will unlock for you treasures in your life that you wouldn’t even have known existed. A life of iman (faith in Allah SWT), a life in the pursuit of taqwa (God-consciousness) will bring you pleasures unimaginable in the Hereafter, and real contentment in this life. I promise you, nothing in this temporary world is remotely comparable.

Know that the life of this world is but amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and childrenlike the example of a rain whose [resulting] plant growth pleases the tillers; then it dries and you see it turned yellow; then it becomes [scattered] debris. And in the Hereafter is severe punishment and forgiveness from Allah and approval. And what is the worldly life except the enjoyment of delusion.Surah Hadid: 20

Indeed being a mother has been a challenging mountain to climbBut I put my hands up to admit that this task has been a rockier road for me, than I could have ever envisaged. It has shown me, and youthroughout the yearshow much patience, perseverance and reliance on Allah, I really have. And that most often, is the hardest realisationThrough you, the realisation of what I really am. But this journey of motherhood is a moving one, and as you develop it provides me with an opportunity to develop tooProving to me how much your success and my success with Allah are really intertwined, in more ways than one.

You are what will walk the earth of me, when I have returned to dust. So I sincerely make dua, after all my actions as a mother have been sealed and done, that is not just my love I leave you with as my legacy, but love and closeness to the Deen of Allah as well.

May Allah aid me, and all the mothers who serve Allah by serving their children, in this continuing task, அமீன்.

சலாம் வா ரஹ்மத்துலஹி வா பராகதுஹு என வாலிகும்,


தூய ஜாதி

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