ஆசிரியர்: தூய ஜாதி
‘I want jannah to lie under your feet!’ exclaimed the brother who was so adamant he was not going to take no for an answer. Sister Amira was very flattered. She had never in her life been paid so many compliments before, and she was rather enjoying it…
This may sound like something out of a modern romance novel, but the truth is that for many women, these kinds of chat up lines seem to be exactly the kind of thing that lure them straight into the hands of predators – the kind of men who love to prey upon women.
Predators are clever and dangerous in many ways and are very highly manipulative. They are the kind of people that have the ability to get whatever they want out of people – and almost with no effort whatsoever.
Once their victim is ensnared, it’s almost mind-boggling how quickly the predators do a ‘bait and switch’ – in other words, they immediately capture their victims attention for long enough to manipulate them into thinking they are the perfect person and everyone else is wrong.
Then once they have their victim where they want them, they change. At first they shower their victims with love and romance, they may marry them and even get them pregnant so women feel helpless and think they cannot cope on their own.
Predators usually have one goal or motive in mind – they want to get whatever they can out of you. Whether that is money, status, citizenship or even to just use and abuse you, once they have what they want, they often move on and leave you hanging – often for months or years at a time.
The women who are involved are usually easy prey. They are naturally vulnerable or have exposed their weakness to the brother in question in some way or the other. More often than not, it’s a woman’s desperation to get married that can often lead her to make stupid mistakes and fall for the wrong person. This is because Allah has made women emotionally weak. It is their natural fitrah, and also one of the reason’s your wali should always be involved in the process.
If a man sees a woman who is sad, lonely, going through a hard time with her family, who is divorced (with or without kids), he will often present himself as her ‘saviour’. He will offer to rescue her out of her misery and make her see that everyone else is against her for whatever reason.
Once they have what they want, they often discard the woman in the same way you would get rid of a toy with no use – abandoned and forgotten and then eventually thrown away.
For the sisters in this mess, it can ruin lives to such an extent that family ties are broken, they are squandered of their wealth and they have nothing left emotionally or mentally. It can break them down and tear them apart.
It sullies sisters into a state of deep depression and anxiety and countless ‘what if I had never met him’ or ‘I wish I had never listened to his sweet talk’ – but these things only serve to make sisters feel worse about their situation.
So what should you do to prevent yourself being the victim of a predator? How can you spot whether the person who is promising you the stars can actually deliver the moon and not a broken dream instead?
If you’re worried about ensuring the person you’re considering for marriage is the right one, then make sure you register for our FREE webinar ‘Predators, Gold-Diggers and Players – எச்சரிக்கை உங்கள் வளார்ந்துவரும் வாழ்க்கைத் துணை போலி கையெழுத்தானது!' with Sheikh Musleh Khan which will take place on Tuesday 17ஆம் December at 5pm GMT Time.
To register, all you need to do is enter your name and email in the signup form below:
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