Imam Malik relates that a man came to the Messenger of Allah, SAW, and said, “Messenger of Allah, teach me some words which I can live by. Do not make them too much for me, lest I forget.” The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Do not be angry.”
When we are angry, we are also weak. Depending on how we react to situations, ‘anger’ has the potential to bring the worst out of us, some more than others. It’s not uncommon to lose control of ourselves when we become angry; our tongues and limbs can often do things without our conscious consent.
The reality is that once all is said and done, there is no erasing it and often nothing but regret follows. Regret is difficult to deal with, people do not forget and there is the matter of dealing with the consequences.
It is possible to have control over your anger and Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid from Islam QA has referred to the works of Al-Maawirdi who has mentioned some very practical steps to ensure that you remain in control:
1 – Remembering Allaah, which should make him fear Him; this fear will motivate him to obey Him, so he will resume his good manners, at which point his anger will fade.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And remember your Lord when you forget” [al-Kahf 18:24]
‘Ikrimah said: i.e., when you get angry. And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And if an evil whisper comes to you from Shaytaan (Satan), then seek refuge with Allaah” [al-A’raaf 7:200]
i.e., if the Shaytaan makes you angry – then seek refuge with Allaah, for He is the All-Hearer, All-Knower – i.e., He hears the ignorance of the ignorant and He knows the things that take anger away from you.
One of the wise men said: Whoever remembers the power of Allaah will not use his own power to wrong the slaves of Allaah. ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Muslim ibn Muhaarib said to Haroon al-Rasheed: “O Ameer al-Mu’mineen, I ask You by the One before Whom you are more insignificant than I am before you, and by the One Who has more power to punish you than you have to punish me: why don’t you let me off?” So he left him off, because he had reminded him of the power and might of Allaah.
2 – He should get out of the situation he is in, so that his anger will dissipate because of his moving away from that situation.
It was narrated that Abu Dharr said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to us: “If one of you gets angry when he is standing, let him sit down, and if that does not take away his anger, then let him lie down.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 4782; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
3 – He should remember what anger leads to of regret and the need to apologize.
One of the literary figures said: Beware of the pride of anger, for it leads to the humiliation of apology.
4 – He should remember the reward for forgiving others and of being tolerant, so he should force himself to overcome his anger, seeking that reward and so as to avoid deserving blame and punishment.
Raja’ ibn Haywah said to ‘Abd al-Malik ibn Marwaan, when he had the power to capture some of his enemies: “Allaah has given you the victory that you wanted, so give Allaah what He wants of forgiveness.” A man said something that ‘Umar ibn ‘Abd al-‘Azeez disliked to hear, so ‘Umar said: “You wanted the Shaytaan to provoke me because of my position so that I would be harsh with you and in return you would harm me tomorrow (i.e., on the Day of Resurrection). Go away, may Allaah have mercy on you.”
5 – He should remind himself of the way that people like and respect him, and he should not risk losing that because of his anger, so that people change their minds about him. He should know that by forgiving people he will only increase the respect with which they view him.
As the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah will not increase a person who forgives others except in honour.” Narrated by Muslim, 2588.
May Allah SWT make it easy for us and grant us calmness in testing times, Ameen.
Pure Matrimony Team
…because practice makes perfect.