Pin Eleyi
Orisun : aila.org
Nipasẹ Msbah Akhtar
Ọrọ ti awọn iya Musulumi nikan ti n yara lati di ọkan ti o jinna; pẹlu ikọsilẹ lori dide o dabi pe o jẹ pataki pe diẹ ninu awọn ti awọn iṣiro wọnyi yoo tun kan si awọn idile awọn Musulumi. Kini idi ti wọn ko fiyesi bi wọn ti yẹ ki wọn jẹ ki o jẹ ki o si wolẹ o si ṣe ẹlẹyà nipasẹ ọpọlọpọ awọn agbegbe?
Ṣe a rii looto bi ariyanjiyan ti awọn ọmọbirin lati 'awọn idile ti o jẹwọ', mu o? Kini idi ti awọn obinrin wọnyi ṣe lati ni itiju ati ya sọtọ kuro ninu agbegbe wọn bi ẹni pe wọn yan ọna yii fun ara wọn? Ti o fi silẹ laisi aṣayan ṣugbọn lati rin kii ṣe kanna bi fifọ igbeyawo ti o ni idunnu daradara fun awọn idi amotaraeninikan; ỌLỌRUN ỌLỌRUN nikan mọ otitọ ati ohun ti o wa ninu ọkan eniyan nitorinaa kilode ti awọn eniyan ṣe ṣe?
Ko si ẹnikan beere lati jẹ iya kan, O jẹ iṣẹ alaigbọran; iṣẹ 24 Awọn wakati ni ọjọ kan, 365 ọjọ ni odun; Ko si sanwo; ati pe a fun ni ikẹkọ. O ko le da duro ati pe o nireti lati mu ipa ti iya mejeeji ati baba. Titẹ ti o dojuko lati awujọ jẹ pupọ, o lero pe gbogbo eniyan n duro de ọ lati ṣe ti ko tọ si eyiti o, Ti o ba ṣe, Yoo yorisi wọn ni imuse lori rẹ ti o n sọ pe ọmọ rẹ ti ni aṣiṣe nitori aini awọn ọgbọn iyanilenu ti o ni – eyiti o jẹ idi ti o fi jẹ ẹrẹ kan. O jẹ nitori idi yii pe ọpọlọpọ awọn iya nikan ni o ya sọtọ lati agbegbe wọn; Wọn ko gba wọn niyanju lati sọrọ nipa awọn iparọ wọn ni igbiyanju lati mu awọn obinrin miiran, rather they are warned to keep quiet and suffer alone so as not to bring shame on their families. There is no organisation in place for them where they can go to for help or just to meet other single Muslim mothers. There are organisations for revert sisters, people wanting to know about Islam, dawah giving charities for Muslims, even organisations for people suffering from drug abuse but ironically nothing for sisters born into a Muslim household who are single mothers. Society just assumes that if you are a single Muslim mother that your family automatically assume their responsibility and help out; that you have a baby-sitter for when you are forced into work and that you live at home with your parents and that your father assumes your financial burden as he is meant to in Islam. This is not always the case, some women are not allowed to live back at home with their parents, they are told to lie in the bed they made because they could have stayed with their husband’s even if it meant tolerating domestic violence and having their mental health suffer. These women are not just defined by their role as mothers; they are human beings too and people tend to forget this.
Being a single Muslim mother is so different to being a non-Muslim single mother, the latter will do anything to make sure their child fits in as they do not want their child to be singled out any further; a Muslim mother has to remain within her boundaries set by Allah at all times. There is no united front from a husband and therefore no ‘good cop, bad cop’; there is only her. Children may rebel against this and then a mother has to be both firm like a father but soft and loving like a mother; it must get confusing for a child, they may wonder why their mother is all of a sudden behaving like ‘daddy’ too. It is a father’s role to protect his family but now a mother has to adopt that role and try and provide physical safety and security; she cannot show fear in front of her children. In Islam a woman should not be out after dark for the sake of her own safety, but this now, cannot be helped if children need picking up from madrasah or other activities. A Muslim woman is not allowed to be alone with a non-mahram man as is clearly stated in the hadeeth narrated by al-Bukhaari (1729) and Muslim (2391) from Ibn ‘Abbaas (ki Olohun yonu si e) ti o wi: Anabi (ki ike ati ola Olohun maa ba a) sọ: “No woman should travel except with a mahram, and no man should enter upon her unless a mahram of hers is present.” If her landlord is a man and wants to come round, or a builder or plumber etc. she has to let him in; if she has no support she won’t have a brother to be there with her. Women are not allowed to travel alone which means no holidays for the family, the kuffar do not adopt this rule. In school, iya Musulumi kan ko ni ọkọ lati daabobo rẹ si olukọ ori nigbati o ba awọn adaṣe rẹ kuro ni eyikeyi awọn iṣẹ ẹsin bii awọn apejọ Keresimesi ati awọn ẹgbẹ Keresimesi. Ni iwọ-oorun. Awọn Musulumi jiya pupọ ni Oorun ati awọn iya Musulumi nikan ti a mọ lati ko ni atilẹyin ti ko le rii bi awọn idojukọ irọrun. Wọn le ko ni ogiri lati ran wọn lọwọ lati wa ọkọ tuntun ati ibanujẹ kii ṣe igbẹhin lati ṣe iranlọwọ lati wa awọn oko tabi awọn ayase fun awọn obinrin; Yato si eyiti, Awọn iya Musulumi nikan ni a rii paapaa nigbagbogbo bi 'awọn ọja ti bajẹ'. Obinrin ti o ni ipalara kan n gbiyanju lati wa ọkọ tirẹ lẹhinna awọn ọkunrin buburu tabi ati pe ko le wa loke awọn ahoro ti Shaytaan. Whilst there are a lot of good brothers out there willing to accept the responsibility of a ready-made family, a lot of them honestly admit that their mothers would not be happy with this because as one brother put it “which mother would want her son to marry a divorcee when he could marry a virgin and have his own children with her?”
We have role models from Islamic history of single mothers (or mothers who raised their children alone) whose children went on to become great men and prophets; Hajar, the mother of Prophet Ismail (pbuh), Maria, the mother of Prophet Isa (pbuh), and Amina, the mother of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), all raised their sons alone. Bakannaa, the mothers of Imam al-Shafi’, Imam Ahmed and Imam Bukhari raised their sons alone, Gbogbo awọn ti nigbamii di olokiki ogbon ti o fi ipa nla silẹ lori agbaye. Ọpọlọpọ awọn iya nikan ni o wa ni ẹni pe o nilo atilẹyin; O jẹ ojuṣe ummah lati ran wọn lọwọ, Wọn tun jẹ arabinrin wa ninu Islam, Ṣugbọn ti gbogbo eniyan ba kọrin kuro ninu ojuse yii lẹhinna ti o fi silẹ lati ṣe iranlọwọ fun awọn obinrin wọnyi? Wọn ti fi silẹ nikan lati ṣe iṣẹ ti awọn eniyan meji ati pe o yẹ ki o wa iyìn ilọpo meji. Awọn ile-iṣẹ ati awọn ohunou nilo lati ṣafihan nibiti iranlọwọ le wa ni kikọ ẹkọ tabi boya oṣiṣẹ bọtini kan le wa yika ati joko pẹlu imọran ati pese imọran. Awọn ẹgbẹ atilẹyin jẹ ibẹrẹ to dara; Eyikeyi iru ẹgbẹ kan ni Awọn iya Musulumi nikan - ẹgbẹ kan ti igbẹhin lati pese atilẹyin si awọn iwa agbaye ti o ni ibanujẹ ati sọtọ ati ọna kika ati nikan. We need your help in promoting awareness for the struggles that many single Muslim mothers face globally, let’s make a change and be the change we want to see.
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Orisun : aila.org
About the Author : Emi ni a 31 year old single mother of 2 cheeky monkeys who make me both cry and laugh at the same time! Parenting is not something I took too easily; I had to find my feet but alhamdulillah I’m getting there now. I am currently on a mission to promote awareness for single Muslim mothers who have no support, a problem I know all too well. I love writing: stories, poems, angry letters; ohunkohun! I also love learning about new things, although you’ll probably catch me playing Super Mario Galaxy more than anything else! I would love to further my knowledge of Islam insha’Allah one day, ati fun awọn ọmọ mi lati wa ni awọn ọmọ ẹgbẹ ti ilu Islam ti agbegbe Islam. Ohunkan ti Mo kọ diẹ sii ju ohunkohun lọ lati nini igbesi aye ti o nira ni bi o ṣe le ja ati duro fun ohun ti Mo gbagbọ; A ni lati jẹ iyipada ti a fẹ lati rii. Maṣe dawọ ni igbagbọ ninu Allah Spt, Iwọ ko mọ nigbati akoko rẹ lati tàn jẹ. Ti o ba nifẹ si kika diẹ sii ti iṣẹ mi lẹhinna jọwọ tẹle mi ni http://Singlemmums.s.ppress.com/. Jazakhillahkuhkul Khair fun akoko rẹ ki o jọwọ ṣe a dua fun mi ati awọn ọmọ mi!
Jazak Allah Khair Habtsi, o jẹ iya iyanu…A mejeji wa ati ṣiṣẹ lile lati kọ awọn ọmọ wa nikan awọn ẹkọ ati ọwọ. Being muslim you are so right that we live in those boundaries and yet have to slightly step out of them to be like a man and protect and possibly work and deal with people of both sexes. Ya rabbi this is so hard…but alhamdulillah i am strong and will carry all burden and guide and nurture my five babies to be amazing and giving and loving. salaam alaykum sis.
Jazakallahukhair sister for sharing this with us. I’m a soon to be single mom, although I’ve been acting in that capacity for nearly 2 yrs now. Your article has inspired me to strive on. Bakannaa, knowing that there are others who are in a similar makes me feel less as the odd one out. I pray to Allah that we are all blessed with eeman, taqwa, agbara, Idapada nla fun ikọsilẹ jẹ 'ibinu', Gbandertence ati pe gbogbo nkan miiran nilo ki a ni anfani lati di awọn Musulumi ti o dara ati pe a ni anfani lati gbe awọn ọmọ wa dide lati di awọn Musulumi aṣeyọri nibi lori ilẹ-aye & l‘orun. Amin.
Obinrin Musulumi kan ṣoṣo
Emi ni Musulumi ati pe Mo fẹ lati fẹ pẹlu ọmọbirin ẹsin kan,Ṣugbọn o le sọ urdu fun ẹbi mi.
Emi ni iya kan ṣoṣo ni Musulumi 27 ọdun atijọ ati am Pakistan le n sọrọ Urdu Urdu fẹ lati fẹ le ṣe iranlọwọ fun mi
Assalamu Alaikum arabinrin,
Emi yoo ni imọran ọ lati ṣii iwe akọọlẹ kan ninu agbapada mimọ- http://purematrimony.com/ ki o si fi profaili rẹ ranṣẹ.
Ki Allah fi ibukún fun ọ pẹlu iyawo olododo kan ti yoo mu ọ lọ si Jannah .A.
Lati iriri o jẹ soro pupọ lati gbe bi obi kan,Laisi awọn ọmọ ẹgbẹ ẹbi,nitorinaa a pe awọn ọrẹ, Awọn alejo ti o ni awọn asọye ipalara, pamo, adajo rẹ, rerin ninu rẹ, lo anfani rẹ ati ipo rẹ ati be be lo, tount, Kini o ṣe ipalara diẹ sii ni nigbati obi isansa ti ntọju rẹ, Lo Olubasọrọ pẹlu awọn ọmọde bi Bait lati ṣe ipalara fun ọ lati yago fun ọ lati gbigbe u, ko ṣe iranlọwọ fun iṣọnwo owo si awọn pataki fun awọn ọmọde. Diẹ ninu awọn eniyan yọọda fun awọn ọkunrin ti o tilẹ jẹ awọn akoko pupọ, Baba lati yatọ si awọn ọmọde lati ọpọlọpọ awọn ilu ati awọn ibatan lọ si ilu okeere si ilu ti o jẹ ọdun ti o jẹ ọmọ kanna bi awọn ọmọ rẹ.
Fun iya kan o jẹ boya ọdọ lati gbe bi obi kan tabi atijọ ti atijọ lati tun ṣe pẹlu awọn ọmọde. Alhamdulilaah when no one was there for me and my children Allah was he gave me good husband who was not worth to others because he was not wealthy but to us he is worth more then gold.
That last paragraph really had an effect on me! May Allah make it easy for our single muslimahs out there.
Dearest Sister in Islam
I have read your thought provoking article. I admire what you have said as it does give truth how women who are single, are scorned and frowned upon. I empathise with you as I have been in a situation as your whereby you have to juggle between being a mother and father. It is difficult. May Allah grant us the sabr to endure these struggles and reward us in the hererafter. Ameen Do you perhaps know of any support groups
Jazakallah for writing and aharing this sister i am married now but for 6 years i was a single muslim mother. Everything you have wrote rings so true. Really agree more attention needs to be focused on helping rather than ostrasizing single muslim mothers. Thankyou again x
assalamaleikum my dear sisters,am a single muslim woman,and i believe in Allah,this isnt a joke its tough job but with Allah Subhanna uttallah we shouldnt give up its our reponsibilities,am struggling to my fulliest to see my kids are ok,although i was been snatched my kids from me but Allah is with me always.Thanks ansd Jazallahukhair sister for sharing with us.pls keep on giving us support and advice. thx
Salam sisters. It’s not just single mums who face prejudice. I married a wonderful man hamdulillah who is divorced and has a beautiful girl from his previous marriage. Laanu, his ex has twisted the very fabric of our religion and doesn’t allow much contact with his girl. He lost everything to her just to speak to his baby once a week n see her once every two weeks. It’s even worse when she gets sick. All she wanted was the money. Got a house, new car while we struggle to every month. I have asked to speak to her so many times, just say Salam. But she rejects every offer of friendship. So it’s not just mums who suffer. There are sisters out there who bring shame to Muslim sisters.
I hope I have not offended any one. I ask for forgiveness if I have. Ẹ kí
Klaudia Khan, there are sisters out there that are behavin badly. Sugbon, the way our world and communities are set up, men don’t face the same prejudices that women do. They are not victimized by people who see them as second class citizens. There is a huge difference. A man will not experience this in our society. While the situation is hard, it is not the same.
Jazakallah for writing this article. Single mum of 3 kids age 16 ati 14 ati 7. To all the single mums out there I take my hat of to u ladies. We are proud parents. Its a hard job playing mum and dad. May Allah make it easy for all of us.
Asalmu Alkum Sisters & Fellow Muslim Brothers,
Ni ibere, I would like to thank you for opening my eyes!
Like u said in your article i always assumed that single mulim mums could turn to their family however i realise that is DEFINITELY NOT ALWAYS THE CASE! Emi yoo gbadura nigbagbogbo fun wọn ati ki o le fun wọn fun wọn paradise infullah! Mo nigbagbogbo sọ fun awọn eniyan ti o yẹ ki o ko kerora nipa iṣẹ rẹ bi iṣẹ ti o nira julọ ni agbaye jẹ iya ti o nira paapaa diẹ sii bẹ nigbati o ba jẹ iya kan. Mo yọọda fun ati ki o fajeri gbogbo awọn iya ni agbaye! Mo le kọ a 1000 Ọrọ asọye lori bi o ṣe ṣe iranlọwọ fun mi loye & Imphaatise ohun ti o dabi ẹni pe o jẹ iya Musulumi kan! Mo le ṣe iranlọwọ nikan nipa igbega jiji siwaju ninu Mossalassi agbegbe mi ati tan ifiranṣẹ naa si si awọn Musulumi miiran fun akọle yii, o jẹ akọle yii. I pray and inshallah there will hopefully be a charity or some gathering that can place in mosque’s or events where single Muslim mums come together share their worries,problems and issues with each other. I hope and pray one day that you all find a decent,ibọwọ,TLC muslim husband who will care for both yourself and your children! Nikẹhin, I cannot thankyou enough for opening my eyes!
AslamAlekhum
I am a single mum and dad to 4 very handsome, but cheeky boys, Alhamdulillah. I know exactly what it feels like to have no family of my own to help and to be on my own. We have been on our own for a long time, but now with my eldest being 17, MashaAllah, things have become easier. We had our first holiday last year and InshAllah are planning to do Umrah very soon if Allah wishes it.
Things always seem harder when your on your own and we should help each other as much as possible.
I pray that Allah makes us all stronger muslim mothers, Inshallah
Assalaamu’Alaykum,
This is a wonderful post, adupe lowo Olorun. I was innocently divorced at 22 years old and left to raise our son alone whom just turned 1 years old at the time. I tell you it was a very difficult time, and with so limited means of support it was has been very difficult. Sibẹsibẹ, Allah has always provided, adupe lowo Olorun. This is really nice to see a support group forming. WL, I have remarried, and I do have support now, but i wish there was something like this back in that time. It has been 7 ọdun bayi, and a tough time. WL, Allah has been gracious unto us. May Allah place comfort to those sisters who must endure this time.
Pẹlu ogo lati ọdọ ọlọrun, Allah yoo tẹsiwaju lati ṣe iranlọwọ fun wa ni okun sii ati dara julọ. Amin!
Ọkọ oju-omi kekere.
Mo mọ pe o nira sibẹ fun mama Musulumi kan ṣugbọn Inshallah oore-ọfẹ rẹ
Allah yoo jẹ ki o rọrun lori wa Jazarhhalah arabinrin fun Diality Arúkọ KII ỌLỌRUN SI ỌLỌRUN ATI Igbagbọ. AMIN.
Asalaumummanu ti rahmatullahi ti ọmọ,
Jazakhallahkul Khair Gbogbo fun kika nkan mi ati fun awọn ẹlẹgbẹ ẹlẹwa rẹ Mahallah rẹ. Jọwọ tọju ọrọ ti o tan kaakiri. Si gbogbo awọn arabinrin mi n ṣe lori tirẹ, O ni ifẹ ati atilẹyin mi ati ti o ba nilo aaye lati iwiregbe tabi jẹ ki o wa gbogbo jade lẹhinna jọwọ darapọ mọ ẹgbẹ mi: http://www.facebook.com/groups/singlemuslimmums/. Ju gbogbo re lo, never stop believing in Allah swt even when you stumble across hard times because nothing lasts forever!!
Al Salam Alykoom ..
i read some of ur article through my tiny phone, a couple of days ago, but the subject has been in my mind eversince that i finally got to my laptop to read the whole thing… just like one of the sisters said “Thank You for Opening my Eyes!” i truely thank u!! i never knew all what a single muslim mother can go through until i read ur article… yes i would assume it would be hard, but never imagined it to be that way.. I am a married woman alhamdolilah, but did get acquainted recently with a single muslim friend.. my dear friend usually tells me about her struggles that she goes through.. she is a new convert by the way… ati gbogbo ohun ti Mo le ṣe ni fun awọn ẹkọ kekere rẹ nipa Islam, Dahun diẹ ninu awọn ibeere rẹ ati pe o kan fẹ bi o ṣe onjẹ ati alagbara o jẹ fun nkọju si gbogbo nkan irikuri ti o lọ! Mo gbadura pe Ọlọhun jẹ ki o rọrun fun gbogbo awọn u jade nibẹ… ati pe mo wa sinu koko yii ati atilẹyin ẹgbẹ yii… Pẹlu ohunkohun ti Mo le!! miiran ju iyipada itankale, Kini MO le ṣe gaan?? Ma binu pe Mo le wa ni pipa diẹ… Bi emi ko ni ẹyọkan..
Azalameal tsisters,
Mo dupẹ lọwọ awọn asọye rẹ Jazakhallahkul Khair.
Mo kan fẹ lati pe eyikeyi awọn arabinrin ti o nilo iranlọwọ tabi fẹ lati ran awọn elomiran lọwọ lati kan si mi ni misbah.akhtar66@gmail.com. Awọn ọna pupọ lo wa ti a le ṣe iranlọwọ fun awọn arabinrin Shahaalah ati ti o ba nifẹ lẹhinna a le jiroro eyi nipasẹ imeeli nipasẹ imeeli. Eyikeyi awọn aba eyikeyi ni o jẹ itẹwọgba ati iwuri.
Jazakhillahkul Khair fun akoko rẹ, Jọwọ tọju yi ṣayẹwo ati Anaila.
Ilana.
ìkíni, Mo dupẹ lọwọ nkan yii bi Mo ti n ka omije si oju mi bi igbagbọ kekere ati ìgbọràn ati ìmọ àti ìmọ ninurí mìíràn. Mo ti gbiyanju lati wa itunu lati ọdọ awọn arabinrin mi, ko ba ni itunu ti Mo nilo ki o jẹ ibanujẹ ni akoko Mo rii ara mi paapaa lerongba nipa igbẹmi ara ẹni bi ọna jade. Mo dupẹ lọwọ fun nkan yii lẹẹkansi ronu rẹ. Ẹ kí.
Olorun bukun U pẹlu ilera to dara julọ & oro. Ṣe o le ṣe rere pẹlu ẹbi rẹ pẹlu awọn ibukun Ọlọrun si. Your articles gives value for womans especially single mothers around the world. I personally like your message that has motivational value. Proud to have a single Mum that can prove to the world that we too have values within us & will shine one day with the blessings of Allah. Hope to see more of your articles that can lead womans for betterment. e dupe. Take care.
Isso é uma realidade que não só o muçulmano, mas a sociedade mundial deveria dar uma definição.A partir das leis, as mulheres sobrecarregam responsabilidades inúmeras, equanto que o homem não sofre em uma separação, dificilmente ouço casos em uma mulher abandonou o marido, mas sim ouço ao contrário , por isso a penalidade e sofrimentos, a maior parte ficam com as mulheres em uma separação.
Pẹlẹ o,
Thankyou for your article. I am not a muslim, but was looking for information on how to help my Muslim next door neighbour. She is a single mother with 3 beautiful children. I have offered to help her by driving her whenever she needs to go or babysitting her children for her. She has thanked me for the offer but has never taken me up on it.
I’m not sure about what happened in her marriage or if her family are helping her, that is none of my business. I just want to make her day to day life a little easier. I have two children of my own and am very grateful for the support that my husband gives me in raising our children.
This article has made me see that there are obvious religious reasons for her not being able to accept my help. I just have a few questions. Can my husband accompany her if she needs to go out? Or is it only another Muslim man? Can I offer to help her in the garden or is this seen as an insult or a job for a man?
I would just like to help. I hope I haven’t offended anybody with my ignorance of the Muslim faith. I would very much like to know more and work within these boundries to help my lovely neighbour. I’m from Australia if this makes any difference.
E dupe.
Hi TM,
I would like to start off by commending you on being a kind and loving humanitarian, something that is sadly all too rare in today’s society. Ko si idi ti ẹsin kan ti arabinrin yii ko le gba iranlọwọ rẹ, boya o kan kan lara shy tabi ko fẹ lati fa ifojusi si ara rẹ, tabi boya ko ni rilara ni iranlọwọ eyikeyi ti iranlọwọ. Ti o ba jẹ, sibẹsibẹ, O ro pe o ro pe o tiraka lẹhinna o le ṣe ọpọlọpọ awọn nkan: jẹ ki o mọ pe o wa nibẹ fun ọ ti o ba nilo rẹ (nigbami o kan mọ ẹnikan ti o bikita, Ṣe iranlọwọ fun pupọ), Ranti rọra lati ni suuru ati pe Allah ko ṣe eru eyikeyi mu eyikeyi ti wọn le mu; ati boya tun mẹnuba awọn musulumi musulumi nikan: http://www.facebook.com
/Awọn ẹgbẹ / Singlemus Milimmums / Nibi ti a ni awọn arabinrin ẹlẹwa ti o funni ni atilẹyin mejeeji ati imọran.
Bẹni ọkọ rẹ tabi eyikeyi eniyan Musulumi le darapọ mọ ayafi ti o ba jẹ tirẹ: ọkọ, ọmọ, Olugbota / arọwọto ọmọ / igbesẹ, baba, baba agba ọkunrin, arakunrin baba, arakunrin, ọmọkunrin-arakunrin, baba-ana tabi ana ana. These men are known as mahrams and are men you cannot marry (in the case of a husband you are already married) so they may accompany a woman.
An offer of help in any format is never an insult as your intentions are pure and yes helping with garening is fine and it isn’t seen as a job for a man.
The point of knowledge is to pass it on so do not feel bad if you were ignorant to certain things because that’s how we all learn and at least you were not ignorant to the fact that there may be a woman who needs your help!
Picking up the Qur’an and reading it may also be a good way to understand where this sister is coming from and if you would like me to send you a copy then just let me know.
Níkẹyìn, Jọwọ lero free lati kan si mi ti o ba ni awọn ibeere diẹ sii tabi ti di awọn imọran ti bi o ṣe le ṣe iranlọwọ! x
Otitọ nipa jije iya Musulumi nikan ni pe ọpọlọpọ ninu wọn ko gba ilobirin pupọ, ati nitorinaa wa ara wọn ni ipo iṣoro.
Ni kete ti Sunna ti gba patapata ki o si fi awọn nkan ṣiṣe yoo mu insha allah dara julọ, titi lẹhinna jẹ ki ala fun ọmọ alade lori ẹṣin funfun ṣugbọn ko n bọ. Ni otitọ o ṣubu ti ẹṣin ati ku.
arabinrin, Ko rọrun pupọ ni o? kii ṣe gbogbo mi ni anfani lati pese fun 2 tabi awọn idile diẹ sii, Iya mi gba o nigbati baba mi ba ṣe igbeyawo, abajade? Awọn arakunrin ati arabinrin mi nigbagbogbo ni owo diẹ sii lati baba mi, O jẹ iwuwo fun wọn ati pe Mo ti ṣe akiyesi pe wọn le pe e ni igbakugba ati beere akoko rẹ, Ifarabalẹ ati owo, A ko le ṣe iyẹn! A nigbagbogbo duro lori ayeye pẹlu rẹ nitorinaa emi yoo bẹru lati jẹ aibikita ti ọkọ mi lojiji pinnu, Nitorinaa ṣiṣe ọkan ninu wa gbarale ipinle, ni pataki? ni ojuse owo yẹn?
Subhan Allah
Eyi ni oju-ṣiṣi oju-omi ti oju rẹ
Le ṣe-salaam fun ọ ati awọn ọmọ rẹ alafia ati idunnu, Ṣe Al-Wahalab pese fun ọ ati Al-Ilu Ṣe aabo fun ọ ati awọn ọmọ rẹ ati awọn ọmọ rẹ ati al-jihun ṣe gbogbo awọn ọran rẹ rọrun julọ .. Awọn ọmọ rẹ dagba
Naahaala iwọ yoo ni ere pupọ ni ibikẹhin fun gbogbo ipa rẹ
Lẹwa sọ. Ki Allah ṣãnu fun awọn arabinrin wa, Wọn jẹ nitootọ ni ọna abinibi ti awujọ wa, Mimu rẹ pọ nipasẹ okun, ṣugbọn ko jẹ ki o lọ. May Allah protect you and make it easy on you. Si onkowe: a thousand thank you’s for writing this. it realy opened my eyes.
Asalam alaykum, I have been a single mother for four years and have no regrets. I feel over the years I am getting stronger and learning the world we live in is not kind! I have not experienced all that you have mentioned in this article, as alhamdullah I have a supportive family and I am not Asian. It seems my Asian sisters have it worse . Also remembering back It was my Asian best friend who was against my divorce and our friendship ended on that note. Culture seems to play a role in how you are treated, its time for people to move with the times!
Asalam alaykum , i am a revert and i thought i had things hard when i reverted , family cutting me off etc. but reading here i see that sisters who are single mothers have a harder time , Its a shame theres not more help for the sisters who are single mothers to find good brothers to make good husbands ,
Insha `Alla you will be rewarded.
AslamAlekhum, thank you for this inspiring article. As the owner of a triving single Muslim dating and matrimonial site i would like to take this opportunity to recommend SingleMuslimism.com at http://www.singlemuslimism.com.
hi sisters assalamualaikum. After so many comments i have nothing more to tell . i agree with u all. Lots of love for all single muslim mom.. I am also in a tough situation. My husband does not take any responsibilities of me and my baby and he has many bad habits. We dont live together. I am not secured with him. I want to live my own life with baby. Can i delete part of my husband’s name from my son’s name? And how should i keep my son’s name in a muslim
ona? I cant tolerate anything of my husband. I live with my parents and my son. He is 4 yr old. Pls suggest me.
Jazakallah fun nkan yii. Newly single mom (although have been the mom, dad, ọkunrin, sise, butler etc for whole marriage) and this article really gave me strength.
i was the one who initiated the divorce ,my ex was serial liar and i had huge doubt he cheated on me,when he left our baby was 1 osu,i am ltrying everyday to be the best i can but its hard to be alone in non muslim country,still inside my heart i know i made the right decision as my ex after few months is living with a non muslim girl in haram??!!
What a fab article. I am not a mother but I can empathise with the outcast mentality that goes with it. Please take comfort that the attitudes you describe are gradually becoming outdated with the next generation and people are more open minded. I hope life gets better for you i’A. Peace x
I have been separated from my children’s father for 1 odun, he was molesting the children thus the need for the separation, I can relate to a lot of what has been said here, family support is non existent.
“According to a lot of families, the women should do whatever it takes to make that marriage work. So if part of it is putting up with the abuse, she should because the family structure is the main priority and so when a woman leaves everybody feels its their duty to make her feel she shouldnt have done it.
You will be seen as a bad woman for leaving your abusive husband, people wont come to your house, kids cant go to parties, you will not have that social network of people coming around, you lose that connection with own community.”
“Two very pertinent social and cultural contructs Izzat (ibuyi) and Sharam (shame) are factors affecting family behaviour, the public image of the family is more important than individual safety”
“The way to tackle this notion of ‘honour’ and ‘shame’ is to ask which individual is bringing the shame on the family. its about trying to transfer the shame to the actions of the perpetrator”.
“Re examine the Quran… by leaving your husband you continue to be a good muslim…its about transferring the shame to him. He is the one that has breached the ideologies of the faith and the book”.
We can only bring about change around us ourselves.
Jazakallahukhair sister
Salam alaykum my muslim sisters and brothers,
I am very pleased to see your efforts in raising awareness of this issue as I feel it is long over due. I found out, in this day and age that there are people ignorant enough that would attribute such atrocities to single mums(said to me personally, which I cannot repeat) just because they are single and living on their own without a man. I am also disgusted with the notion that just because I have been divorced I have reached my “expiration date” ati pe Mo yẹ ki o yanju fun ohunkohun ti o wa ọna mi “Ti ohunkohun ba wa ni ọna mi”, Nigbati eniyan naa tẹsiwaju lati rii bi nkan pataki botilẹjẹpe o jẹ nitori aigbọran rẹ ti kuna, Ṣugbọn ko yẹ ki o jẹ ọna yẹn paapaa ti wọn ba kuro larin.. Lonakona Mo ti gbowo to, Biotilẹjẹpe o wa lati ibanujẹ Emi ko tumọ si lati jẹ eyikeyi aibọwọ tabi malrice si ọna agbegbe mi Musulumi bi Mo ṣe fẹràn wọn olufẹ. Mo fẹ lati dupẹ lọwọ Ọlọhun fun fifun wa ni agbara ati Eaman lati koju iṣẹ ṣiṣe ti o nira pupọ ti mimu awọn ọmọ wa si oke ti ara wa, Ati pe Emi yoo fẹ lati dupẹ lọwọ rẹ fun ipa rẹ ni igbega jiji nitori aini ti ara ẹni aimọkan ati pe o ni agbegbe naa ni agbegbe yẹn, eyiti yoo yori si orilẹ-ede ti o tẹle aṣọ. Ki Allah san fun ọ fun awọn igbiyanju rẹ ati jọwọ sọ fun wa pe o le ṣe lati ṣe alabapin si bi Inshallah daradara.
Ti kí acaykum
Jije obi kan si 3 Awọn ọmọde fun ọpọlọpọ awọn oṣu Mo mọ ọpọlọpọ awọn ọrọ aṣa ti a koju Musulumi. Ko si atilẹyin ẹbi ṣugbọn ti o ba nilo atilẹyin lẹhinna o jẹ ẹni akọkọ lati sunmọ ọdọ bi o ko ni Husbund lati daabobo rẹ.
Nigbati awọn ọmọ mi ba jẹ ẹni ti o sọ fun ọ pe o ko le fẹ bi awọn ọmọ rẹ jẹ ọdọ ju ati bayi Mo wa 40 O ti pẹ ju! Nitorinaa wọn sọ… Ni ọdun yii ọmọbinrin mi ti iyawo ati ko paapaa fun ironu kekere ti o farapa awọn iṣe rẹ yoo fa. Agbaye mi wa ati pe Mo gboju Emi ko mọ ọmọ ti o dojukọ Emi ko mọ bi miiran lati gbe. Ṣugbọn Mo ni lati yipada Nitori Mo wa ara ẹni ti o ni itiju pupọ ati pe Mo fẹ gaan lati tẹsiwaju. Mo ti gbiyanju awọn aaye meminiti ṣugbọn wọn dabi eni pe awọn aṣoju tabi awọn eniyan ti o ro pe wọn yoo ṣe ọ ni oju-rere nla.
Gbogbo dua Mo beere Ọlọhun Stt fun Husbund… Gbogbo awọn ọkunrin ninu igbesi aye mi ti kuna mi baba, arakunrin, Eks ọkọ ati Emi ko tọju awọn ireti lati ọmọ mi Mo wa nibẹ lati pade awọn aini ipilẹ rẹ.. O sọ fun jẹ pe yoo wa ni pipa si awọn baba rẹ nigbati o jẹ 16!
Emi ko ni ireti:((((
Emi ni 28 ati iya ti 3 boys and a girl I know it is difficult to be a single mom in this world my husband was a good and great person I want my children’s to follow his foot prints and do good deeds like their father make day for my children’s miss you honey