以後單身

以後單身

草地上的草不再是綠色的”. 婦女將永遠辯論婚姻生活的利弊, 一件事很清楚; 雖然婚姻並不是童話後的幸福, 長時間的單身沒有什麼可取的…”

真主設計我們需要只能在婚姻中找到的陪伴和舒適, 將丈夫和妻子描述為彼此的服裝。[1]

許多年輕人渴望獲得學位和工作, 結婚並生孩子. 他們可能沿途遇到障礙, 也許他們所有的優先事項都錯了, 但是我們這一代人無法預見到學位獲得後會發生什麼，而工作訪問結束了. 毫無疑問, 大多數人在成功的婚姻中跟進了成功的職業, 但很重要, (在很大程度上增加) 少數派正在努力，生活並沒有像他們計劃那樣奏效.

長時間單身的原因很複雜; 從擁有成功的職業到超重的一切, 短缺兄弟. 就像原因很難識別, 解決方案同樣難以捉摸. 儘管如此, 我們的社區醒來是很高的，以至於意識到長時間的單身不僅會影響女兒或一些所謂的不合格的女性. 潮流已經轉變, 練習穆斯林婦女面臨的鬥爭幾乎到達了每個家裡 (除了少數例外). There is no doubt that an increasing number of Muslims and a disproportionate number of women are finding themselves single well into their 20s and even 30s.

There is a growing concern about our young sisters, 尤其, and the effect that delaying marriage is having on their lives. Much has been made of the so-called “boomerang generation” (people who have returned home to live with their parents, after having lived elsewhere); how their struggle with housing and living costs have forced them to move back in with mum and dad. Recent research by Mintel shows that 3 million adults have moved back in with their parents.[2] Muslim couples are no exception in having strong opinions on living with in-laws. 然而, 居住在青春期以外的穆斯林婦女的心理影響在很大程度上被忽略了. 他們可能有所有成年的陷阱; 汽車, 工作, 和銀行里的錢, 但是他們仍然生活在他們長大的同一房間裡. 無法結婚, 他們長期以來已經超越了自己的家庭住所, 但是在父母的照顧和權威下，在其四壁範圍內持續時間比以往任何時候. 隨著童年與成年之間的界限，這不可避免地會導致沮喪和緊張, 這可能導致一些女性的最終決定，以遺憾地決定, 或被迫, 離開家，自己設置.

我們越來越不道德的社會對穆斯林男人產生了毀滅性的影響,[3] 但是對我們女人的影響? The decade or two between adolescence and marriage can be the loneliest time for women who cannot marry. Modesty in a practising woman is something assumed. Yet the outer strength of our most practising sisters masks an inner struggle to lower the gaze, control the nafs, and to avoid the company of the non-mahram men. 和, in a world where nothing is as pure as it once was, many of our sisters are falling into sins that marriage at earlier age could have prevented. The challenges of staying chaste are further compounded for women who do not have the security of a family-home environment.

As these women edge towards their late 20s, loneliness can become coupled with an increasing desire to have their own children. Whilst their friends may already be adding to their happy brood, 他們仍然在建議和婚姻會議的周期中掙扎. 30多歲的女性增加了這些擔憂, 誰可能開始質疑他們是否會結婚並建立家庭. 女性的生育能力隨著年齡的增長而下降的速度比男人的生育能力更快 – 年齡後迅速下降 35.[4]

女人應該記住, 然而, 儘管時間可能不在他們身邊, 阿拉在他的憐憫中會賜給他的孩子. Zacharias是一個老人, 頭頂白髮, 他的妻子貧瘠. 然而他懇求,

“我的主, 從你那裡給我一個正義的後代, 您確實是召喚的全聽者。”[5]

關於單個角色的角色幾乎沒有說明 (或沒有孩子) 社會上的穆斯林婦女, 儘管我們心愛的先知的妻子 (願他安息), a'ishah (願真主喜悅她), was left childless and single upon his death at just 18 歲. 但是, we have a plethora of articles, lectures and advice from scholars on how to be a good wife and mother. Isn’t it time to redress the balance? Whilst other women get busy raising their families, what should single women dedicate their lives to? Many women follow up their degrees with further qualifications, and then their qualifications with one job after another. Although the rewards in the corporeal world are clear, what of the rewards in the hereafter? We were not created to be wives and mothers, yet great rewards are attached to these roles which cannot be comparable to a degree and a good job. 毫無疑問, Allah does not place a burden on anyone greater than they can bear, and every person shall have that which they intended – but we need far greater clarity on the role of single Muslim women in society.

The greatest blessing for any person, if they have the opportunity, is to serve their parents when they reach old-age. The reward of this cannot be underestimated.g

Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (願他安息) 如說,

“Let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust. It was said: ‘Allah’s Messenger, who is he?’ 他說: He who sees either of his parents during their old age or he sees both of them but does not enter Paradise.”[6]

If a person was to dedicate their entire life to taking care of their parents, they would have gained a great reward in the hereafter. 然而, there has never been, even within our own community, a role for women to simply be great daughters without letters after her name, 和一個聽起來有利的職稱, 社會永遠不會滿足, 甚至父母自己也不滿足. 畢竟, 經常提出的問題, “你結婚了嗎?”緊隨其後, “你做什麼工作?”

我們不應該簡單地將單身女性分配到他們已婚的反對品已經太忙而無法實現的角色, 在家庭生活中, 圓圈, 工作場所等, 在以下情況下沒有更了解獎勵. 因為他們的兄弟姐妹和同齡人將留下一群會做善行的孩子的遺產, 並為他們做杜阿, 單身女性應該同樣貪婪，因為一個貴族遺產生活在墳墓之外.

今生是一場考驗, 儘管有些人在婚姻中進行了測試, 其他人則在沒有他們的情況下進行了測試. 我們必須記住，最終，真主決定我們應該如何度過餘生. 我們不是要質疑阿拉的法令，而是要努力找到du'a的好處, 並讓它成為我們轉向他的手段.

先知 (願他安息) 曾經在夜間祈禱中說:

“哦，阿拉, 給你讚美, 你是天堂和大地的光，其中每個人. 給你讚美, 您是天堂和地球的維持者，其中每個人. 給你讚美, 你是天堂和地球的主權，其中每個人. 給你讚美, 你是事實, 你的諾言是真的, 你的話是真的, 與您的會面是真的, 天堂是真的, 地獄是真的, 小時是真的, 穆罕默德是真的. 我已經提交給你的阿拉, 在你裡面我信任, 在你裡面我相信, 我對你悔改了, 在您的幫助和指導下，我辯論了, 我轉向你審判. 你是我們的主, 你是我們的回報. 原諒我過去和未來的罪過, 對於我秘密承諾的人和我公開承諾的人, 對於您所知道的一切都比我. 您是提出來的人，也是一個退回的人 (Al Mu’Akhhir), 你是我的上帝, 沒有神 (值得敬拜) 但是你, 除了和你在一起，沒有力量，也沒有力量。”[7]

已婚夫婦, 社區領袖和學者還必鬚麵對我們社區面臨的挑戰. 我們不再依靠口碑和家庭聯繫來促進我們青年的婚姻. 我們必須擺脫禮貌的晚餐派對和友好的戲弄, 並意識到婚姻延誤會帶來嚴重的後果. 最後, 我們必須承認，真誠的杜阿必須伴隨著認真的行動. 埋葬在我們姐妹們所忍受的每個考試下是在審判之日與問責制遠距離責任的公共義務, 並有機會崛起並獲得真主的樂趣.
___________________________________________________________________________________

筆記:
來源: www.islam21c.com
ISLAM21C要求本文的所有讀者, 和別的, 在您的Facebook上分享, 嘰嘰喳喳, 和其他平台，以進一步傳播我們的努力.
[1] 古蘭經 2:187
[2] http://www.mintel.com/blog/boomerang-kids-kids-return-nest-3億英里20歲的人
[3] http://Muslimmatters.org/2007/08/19/pornogrpahy-addiction-among-muslims-stories-tips/
[4] http://www.nhs.uk/livewell/fertility/pages/protectyourfertility.aspx
[5] 古蘭經 37:100
[6] 穆斯林聖訓 032: 6189
[7] 布哈里聖訓 21: 221

___________________________________________________________________________________
來源: http://www.islam21c.com/islamic-thought/3798-single-ever-ever-ter