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eks love before marriage better? Wat is meer stabiel in Islam, 'n liefdeshuwelik of 'n gereëlde huwelik?
met al hierdie hulp aan my gelewer deur hierdie DR ABULU VAN
Verlowing volgens Sharee'ah.
Die kwessie van hierdie huwelik hang af van die beslissing oor wat voor dit gekom het. As die liefde tussen die twee partye nie die perke wat Allaah gestel het oorskry of hulle sonde laat pleeg het nie, dan is daar die hoop dat die huwelik wat uit hierdie liefde voortspruit, stabieler sal wees, want dit het ontstaan as gevolg van die feit dat elkeen van hulle met die ander wou trou.
As 'n man 'n mate van aangetrokkenheid voel teenoor 'n vrou met wie dit vir hom toegelaat is om met haar te trou, en omgekeerd, daar is geen antwoord op die probleem behalwe die huwelik nie. Die profeet (vrede en seëninge van Allaah op hom) gesê: “Ons dink nie daar is iets beters vir diegene wat mekaar liefhet as die huwelik nie.” (Voorgelees deur Ibn Maajah, 1847; geklassifiseer as saheeh deur al-Busayri en deur Shaykh al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 624)
Al-Sindi gesê, soos opgemerk in Haamish Sunan Ibn Maajah:
Die frase "Ons dink nie dat daar iets beters is vir diegene wat mekaar liefhet as die huwelik nie" kan verstaan word as verwys na twee of na meer as twee. Wat dit beteken is dat as daar liefde tussen twee mense is, dat liefde nie vermeerder of langer gemaak kan word deur iets soos die huwelik nie. As daar huwelik sowel as daardie liefde is, dat liefde elke dag sal toeneem en sterker word.”
Maar as daardie huwelik tot stand kom as gevolg van 'n onwettige liefdesverhouding, soos wanneer hulle ontmoet en alleen saam is en mekaar soen, en ander haraam-aksies, dan sal dit nooit stabiel wees nie, omdat hulle aksies gepleeg het wat teen sharee'ah ingaan en omdat hulle hul lewens gebou het op dinge wat die effek sal hê om seëninge en ondersteuning van Allaah te verminder, want sonde is 'n groot faktor in die vermindering van seëninge, al dink sommige mense, as gevolg van die Shaytaan se fluisteringe, dat om verlief te raak en haraam-dade te doen die huwelik sterker maak.
Bowendien, hierdie onwettige verhoudings wat voor die huwelik plaasvind, sal 'n oorsaak wees om elke party twyfelagtig oor die ander te maak. Die man sal dink dat sy vrou moontlik 'n soortgelyke verhouding met iemand anders kan hê, en al dink hy dit onwaarskynlik, hy sal steeds gekwel word deur die feit dat sy vrou wel iets verkeerd met hom gedoen het. En dieselfde gedagtes kan ook by die vrou opkom, en sy sal dink dat haar man moontlik 'n verhouding met 'n ander vrou kan hê, en al dink sy dit onwaarskynlik, sy sal steeds gekwel word deur die feit dat haar man iets verkeerd met haar gedoen het.
Elke vennoot sal dus in 'n toestand van twyfel en agterdog leef, wat hul verhouding vroeër of later sal verwoes.
Die man kan sy vrou veroordeel omdat sy ingestem het om 'n verhouding met hom te hê voor die huwelik, wat vir haar ontstellend sal wees, en dit sal veroorsaak dat hul verhouding versleg.
Daarom dink ons dat as 'n huwelik gebaseer is op 'n onwettige voorhuwelikse verhouding, dit sal heel waarskynlik onstabiel wees en nie suksesvol wees nie.
With regard to arranged marriages where the family chooses the partner, they are not all good and not all bad. If the family makes a good choice and the woman is religious and beautiful, and the husband likes her and wants to marry her, then there is the hope that their marriage will be stable and successful. Vandaar die profeet (vrede en seëninge van Allaah op hom) urged the one who wants to get married to look at the woman. It was narrated from al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah that he proposed marriage to a woman, en die profeet (vrede en seëninge van Allaah op hom) gesê, “Go and look at her, because that is more likely to create love between you.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1087; classed as hasan by al-Nasaa’i, 3235)
But if the family make a bad choice, or they make a good choice but the husband does not agree with it, then this marriage is most likely doomed to failure and instability, want die huwelik wat op 'n gebrek aan belangstelling gebaseer is, is gewoonlik nie stabiel nie.
En Allaah weet die beste.
Bron: Islam Q&A
Sluit asseblief aan by ons Facebook-blad: www.facebook.com/purematrimony
i agree,my situation is this ive been married 2,i now met a beautiful,religous women an we so inlove i approachd da parents but the sed no cos i was married 2,they want 2 arrange a marriage 4 haar,so wot i can say is some of our umah use the deen onli wen it suites them
seems like whoever replied to this is a very male oriented person. Islam gives women equal rights. It not always about women being beautiful and a man not liking the woman chosen for him. It can equally be the other way round.
Also another problem massively faced these days, two people like each other and want to get married right away, the families however have a lot of socio cultural demands which either leads to delaying a marriage or refusing to the proposal altogether. In many cases that i have seen, those in love dont stop and hence it leads to gunah. Their justification to it is that they wanted the right away and adopted it, their parents didnt. Its sad how there are these worldly requirements that leads to such serarios when the answer is simple and just needs cooperation from parents. I wonder if its right for either of the two in love to marry someone else chosen by their family whom they dont love. Loving someone else and being a spouse to someone else is again extremely wrong. May Allah guide us the right path and help us in such hardships!
Jazakallah
ek stem saam met jou, also Allah tells us that we have to obey our parents, but we shouldnt when they tell us something that ccontradicts with islam, for xample what if someone loves someone, and theyre both good muslims, and then the guys parents say oh no you cant marry her because shes not the same culture, there are no races in islam, Allah and the prophet told us that in an authentic hadith that no race is greater or bettter than another, and in the Quran “And we have made you into different tribes so that you may know one another” If marriage was based on culture why didn’t the prophet sallalahu alaihi wa salam ever say in a hadith “you should marry from your own race because it will be easier on you”, it just makes me so upset and tired to hear this kind of stuff that culture is a barrier for marriage, i never thought it would even be a prerequisite, culture is nothing its your language where you were born what kind of food you eat and thats it, some muslims these days just block out deen when it comes to marraige and look at culture
@sana: i like your comment and the question posed by you…. well i will not go too deep in details but in short the solution is we need to educate ourself about what our deen (Islam) sê: Which is what Allah SWT commands us and what Prophet Muhammad PBUH has guided us….
If we follow it then there would not be such issues…. but the matter fact is that we dont have time for learning our Deen….
May Allah SWT guide us all to the righteous path….
@sana
I will answer about the last part, where u were wondering, If two people who were in love with each other, should marry some one else ( presumably of their parents choice ), Wel, I will answer you through Qur’an
Chap 2 Vrs 235 – ”
And there is no sin on you if you make a hint of betrothal or conceal it in yourself, Allah knows that you will remember them ”
Notice the part where Allah says, Allah knows that you will remember them ”
To put it simply, I think, its clear that if you love some1, you propose to them and you should try and marry them, by this verse.
Aoa.
@ Salman Ibn Ahmed
I just wanted to say that the ayah from the Quran that you have quoted here does not apply to this situation. If you read the whole ayah and the ayah before it too, you will know that this ayah refers specifically to the women who are in the period of iddat ie mourning after their husband has passed away. It is instruction for a man who sees this woman, or hears about her and would like to propose to her.
Dit is 'n ander storie vir baie mans met 'n tweede vrou se vra vir hulle hoe hierdie vrou in hul lewe se haram-manier of halal gekom het, sien die meerderheid sorg susters, ons word almal getoets.