Wasea Oqo
One of my relatives has come to me for the purpose of marriage but I heard to marry from non-relatives is preferred for the sake of the future of the children and other reasons. What is your opinion on this matter?
Kena iSau: The principle has been stated by a number of scholars. It points to the fact that genetics and heredity has an effect. There is no doubt that genetics has an effect on the physical and psychological make-up of a person.
This is shown in the hadith where a man came to the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ‘alaihi-wasallam) ka kaya, “My wife has given birth to a black child.” (He was opposing that child as all of his ascendants were of light skin).
Na iTukutuku ni Kalou (sallallaahu ‘alaihi-wasallam) told him, “Do you own camels?” E kaya o koya, “Yes.” Na Parofita (sallallaahu ‘alaihi-wasallam) e kaya, “What colour are they?” E kaya o koya, “Red.” Na Parofita (sallallaahu ‘alaihi-wasallam) asked him, “Is there a dusky one among them ?” E kaya o koya, “Yes.” Na Parofita (sallallaahu ‘alaihi-wasallam) qai kaya , “How has that come about?” The man replied , “It is perhaps due to the strain to which it has reverted.” So the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi-wasallam) told him, “Perhaps that son of yours is due to the strain to which it is reverted.” [1]
This is evidence that genetics does have an effect and there is no doubt about it. Ia,, na Parofita (sallallaahu ‘alaihi-wasallam) also said,
“A women is married for [any of] four reasons: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or for her religion. So try to marry one who is religious, may your hands be smeared with dust.” [2]
O koya gona, the most important matter in proposing to a women is her piety. The more religious she is and the more beautiful she is then the better she is, regardless if she be a close relative or distant [non-] relative.
The religious women will protect the man’s wealth, gonelalai, and house. Beauty fulfils his needs and lowers his gaze and he will not look to others. Ka kila vinaka o Allah.
[1] Recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim.
[2] Recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim.
Shaykh Muhammad bin Saalih al-`Uthaymeen
Islamic Fatawa Regarding Women – Darussalam Pg.187-188.
Marry who you please. Obviously with family permission, and following islamic rules. the prophet SAW daughter married her cousin Ali. So it is upto you… We are permitted to marry any muslim on the earth, reverts from all walk so flife, different ethnicities etc. As long as they are on the deen!