Comhroinn é seo
Foinse : islamicawakening.com
By Baiyinah Siddeeq
“I don’t care if I am 55 when I finish school, I will not get married until I finish my education.”
The above is a quote from a young Muslim woman pursuing what she calls her “education.” Ar an drochuair, her strong dedication to finishing the Western undergraduate and graduate university “education” system reflects the ever growing trend among young Muslims in this society: to wait until they posses a “degree” before entertaining the prospect of marriage. What is even more grim is the fact that these young Muslims’ parents reflect the same diseased ideology.
Somehow, the Western system of “education” has replaced Islam as the central priority in Muslims’ lives. This blind dedication to obtaining a degree is so ingrained in the Muslim family that if a daughter herself is interested in marriage, the parents will forbid the matrimony solely on the grounds that she must finish school. Ba chóir go mbeadh lá spártha ag fir dá theaghlach óna sceideal gnóthach agus suíonna rialta a bhunú lena theaghlach, marriage has virtually become a bad word in several Muslim circles if that word “pósadh” is at all connected with the marriage of a “iníon” who has not finished “school,” i.e. “college.” Ar ndóigh, if she has not finished high school, marriage is beyond undesirable; it is unthinkable. Such counterproductive thought processes are contributing to the breakdown of the Muslim ummah, and they are preventing the true establishment of Islam in our society and lives.
Every society has a foundation, and that foundation is the family. If we Muslims value obtaining Western college degrees more than we value establishing the foundation for an Islamic society, what does this say for the future of our ummah? gur dea-charachtar agus cráifeacht iad, what does it say about our claim that we are indeed Muslims? It goes without saying that there is benefit to holding a college degree, but when weighed against the benefit of marriage, which is half of our religion, marriage heavily outweighs it. Ba chóir go mbeadh lá spártha ag fir dá theaghlach óna sceideal gnóthach agus suíonna rialta a bhunú lena theaghlach, when we see that in the hearts and minds of Muslims the benefits or “urgency” of a college degree outweighs marriage, there is something seriously wrong in our ummah not to mention our thinking.
Cé go, on the surface, the issue of education versus marriage seems complex, the explanation for this phenomenon is actually quite simple: our basic values lie not in the akhira (Hereafter) Ach sa Dunya (Saol Wordly). Aon uair a thugtar ordú dúinn ó Allah nó a theachtaire (i.e. pósadh), ní chomhlíonann muid an t -ordú sin ach an oiread agus nach gcuireann sé cosc orainn glitter an Dunya a bhaint amach. Do go leor againn, Má dhéanann an t -ordú míchaoithiúnacht ár dunya an iomarca, Déanaimid neamhaird den ordú go léir le chéile–mar sin, an luachan thuas. Don chuid is mó againn, Más gá rud éigin a thabhairt —dunya nó deireadh—Tá an rogha simplí: Téann Akhira ar dtús. “Is é an tsábháilteacht d’fhear in aimsir an-aimhréidh ná fanacht ina theach.” Hasan, Tá tús áite againn don scoil i gcoinne an phósta.
Feiniméan eile atá forleathan inár n -ummah atá ag lagú bunús ár sochaí Ioslamach (“Múin dóibh) agus feidhmíonn sé mar fhoras chun moill a chur ar phósadh ná Moslamaigh’ An bhfuil spéis ag fás riamh le huimhir chróineolaíoch a ghabhann le gach duine mar gur tharla an duine sin a rugadh ar lá áirithe i mbliain áirithe, ar a dtugtar go coitianta “aois.” Somehow, Táimid tar éis an sainmhíniú thiar ar “óige” agus “maireachtáil le dath” an oiread sin ionas go dtagraímid go minic dár leanaí fásta óga aoise in aois phósta mar “leanaí” nó “ró -óg” a phósadh.
Lipéadú daoine fásta mar “leanaí” agus an leithscéal go bhfuil daoine fásta “ró -óg” Is feiniméin iad ní hamháin go bhfuil siad nua don Ioslam ach is aireagáin den aois nua -aimseartha i gcoitinne iad. [nóta an eagarthóra: leomh déanaimid dearmad ar aoiseanna cuid mhaith den sahaabah? Conas a bhí Usama bin Zaid i gceannas ar arm ina dhéagóirí, agus conas a bhí againn “dhéagóirí” Muiliúnú?]. Agus díreach mar a leanaimid muintir an domhain isteach sa “poll laghairt” de “education,” Leanaimid ár múinteoirí nua -aimseartha (a tháinig in ionad an Prophet (chonaic) Mar ár sampla) isteach sa “poll laghairt” de obsession le haois.
Agus díreach mar a bhfuil céim an choláiste anois mar an éacht is tábhachtaí ag an Moslamach óg agus a teaghlach, so has age become the most significant determinant of whether or not a person is “ready” a phósadh.
Is í an cheist, what do we do about it? Ar dtús, we must reclaim our Islamic identity and reevaluate our purpose on this earth. When we do this honestly, we will discover that our purpose here is very straightforward: to establish Islam in our lives and then in the world at large. Everything else, such as attending a local university and obtaining a college degree, falls under the category of “accessories,” i.e. “not necessary.” Ba chóir go mbeadh lá spártha ag fir dá theaghlach óna sceideal gnóthach agus suíonna rialta a bhunú lena theaghlach, when a Muslim is faced with the prospect of marriage, which falls under the category of “establishing Islam,” there should be no hesitation, and any desired “accessory” should be pursued only in so far as Islam is pursued. Mar thoradh, there is the possible scenario of, tá, a “young married college student,” or dare I say, “young married high school student.”
The benefits of marrying are enormous, and those benefits increase when marriage occurs sooner rather than later. Guarding the chastity of our youth and encouraging the birth of several children for the growth of this ummah [not to mention the fact the marriage creates an ideal scenario for man and woman to increase their chances of entering Paradise and fulfill half of their religion] are serious benefits that Muslim parents and youth need to reconsider. Let us reclaim Islam for ourselves and share it with the world, and let us start in the home by encouraging young men and young women to marry. Let us redefine “education” agus “maireachtáil le dath” based upon Qur’an and Sunnah. And may Allah bless us to please Him while we are on this earth through establishing Islam in every aspect of our lives without hesitation, and may we attain Paradise, our goal. Aiméin.
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Foinse : islamicawakening.com
The fact of the matter is that many Muslim women decide to go to college instead of sitting on their hands waiting for Prince Charming. I’ve tried many times during my college career to get married, and with not being successful, I’ve considered continuing to med school. What else is a Muslima supposed to do with her life? No answer I’m certain.
Are you saying you gave up?? There’s no reason for one not to get married and continue education as well…
Exactly, it is not like Mislimahs do not want to get married. We want to we really do. But where are the guys? Ar ndóigh, Tá siad sa domhan seo ach an bhfuil siad sásta cailín a phósadh dá deen..ahmm….NÍL. nó cailín atá oilte agus/nó cáilithe níos fearr (Ó ní leomh mé cliste a rá) hmm… Is dócha nach bhfuil. Teamhaic! Sin a cheap mé.
Uimh deirfiúr, Ba mhaith liom a dhéanamh i ndáiríre.. Ach ba mhaith lenár dteaghlach nua -aimseartha fear a shocrú a bhfuil airgead aige, carranna agus maoin. Mar sin tá sé an -deacair
Aontaím lenár deirfiúr thuas.
Ba mhaith linn pósadh níos luaithe ach cá bhfuil an fear? A thaitníonn le Allah agus ná a mhol dúinn…
@ayash
Táim ag aontú leat
Allah bles tú le grá agus huminity síochána
@puji
cad ba mhaith leat a rá?
Althanallah alt iontach. Bhí mé chomh sásta teacht trasna an ailt seo mar gur bhuail mé le go leor tuismitheoirí óga agus níos sine leanaí a bhfuil an smaoineamh céanna acu anois, Fiú mura raibh sé amhlaidh dóibh féin. I sincerely believe that we need to readout the Islamic ideologies of what is a child and what is an adult. By doing this we can inshallah combat a lot of the troubles we as Muslim families face in this age. JazakAllah kheyr for a wonderful read, may Allah guide us all and provide for our Muslim sisters and brothers a spouse who can be the coolness of their eyes. Aiméin
The Holy Qur’an is the most read book in the world yet the least understood. Many reasons for this, but ultimately it is because not everything in the Qur’an is “dubh agus bán,” as a matter of fact most things are not. We need a critical thinking ability and most of all we need knowledge to better understand the Qur’an. If we dont gain an education, or a “degree” how will we be ‘smart’ enough to understand what Allah has said to us?
An Prophet (pbuh) a dúirt “seek knowledge even if it be in china”
Knowledge is ISLAM. We need knowledge to understand what we say in prayer everyday. Unless you want to be like the men and women who live in rural areas in countries like Pakistan who hear the call-to-prayer (aka adhan) everyday but have no idea what it means.
Reason why many people prefer that their children complete their education before getting married is also very simple- The more educated you are , the higher chances of a successful marriage you have.
If you are 18 out of highschool…havent even understood who you really are and what you want to be/do in life, how will you have the ability to make a smart decision on what type of man you want to spend the rest of your life with?
I know Islamic history shows that women married young, but times have changed. Couples cant survive living alone before they have a bachelors or most commonly even a masters degree to make the money they need.
Moslamach, if one will start having “several children for the growth of this ummah,” there is an issue for OBVIOUS reasons.
I completely agree with you. And i think it is very important for the Women of the house to be educated and God fearing.
If things were ideal people could get married younger, I really do feel that we should look at our youths today, do we think they are the same as the time of our prophet (pbuh),I dont think they are , they are maturing much later in age and I personally think its better to have people fully matured at time of marriage than a higher divorce rate through ‘kids’ marrying ‘kids’ because they do not have the mentality to deal with marriage.,just my opinion.x
Aontaím. I got married during high school, and trust me, I regret it. I wished I had waited a year or so. My husband always thinks I am a “kid” and therefor what I say in invalid. Or sometimes I have no clue what he is trying to say. It becomes complicated.
I think the ideal age for girls to get married is after they turn 20. And please don’t get married to a guy who is born and raised back home, their mentality is VERY different than ours. Trust me. I am suffering a lot now.
True there are some amazing men back home, and if you can truly catch one, than go for it. asal. wait.
Aontaím leat. “Back Home” people are more “cultured” than muslim.
I think in this day and age, one needs to understand the needs of their individual children and go according to that. Everyone cannot be put in the same category. I agree maturity comes with age but every ‘child’ matures differently. I can see the argument from both points of view as I have several friends who have married ‘young’, had less then other more maturer couples in terms of finances and maturity but mashAllah have sustained beautiful marriages and wonderful children.
I think the modern world doesn’t equipp the youth well enough for what life really is about. People are maturing much later, but I think marriage is one thing that matures you faster then any education will.
I understand that without a professional degree it is very hard to survive especially in the western world these days but if it is possible for youngsters to get married during education, they should do so provided they have someone to support and guide them until they are able. This is where parents should offer utmost help and guidance. people have stopped working together to support one another and I think that’s why many youngsters are reluctant in marrying early even if they really want/ need to.
Also the modern world has made us want too much, we believe in living in a certain way and have forgotten the real meaning of life. We often have to remind ourselves that it’s ok to have less and not run to catch up with the world.
Another point I must make: I don’t believe an education makes you smart or anymore intelligent then a person without a qualification. There are many beautiful, wise and courageous people in this world who have nothing in terms of education. They posess the key to success, the key to living in this world gathering deeds for the next! MashAllah. Bealtaine Allah (swt) give us all the hidayah to understand what life is all about and to live it according to the Sunnah as much as we can. Aiméin
I agree with every single point you made Masha’Allah
İ agree with you sister!
@Ayesha
I don’t want to make this discussion confrontational and tense. But please leave that feminist garbage out of the conversation.
Do not cheapen the author’s arguments by reducing it to the typical feminist brainwashed automatic response of, “Men don’t want to marry an educated women who can think for herself, blah blah blah.”
The author is completely correct. Ar an drochuair, his position would be treated as kufr by most families. There are many problems that contribute to this issue. It is way of thinking, tuismitheoirí, society, and both men and women.
Some men are just low lives and are foul and immature and womanizers. Other men, such as myself, feel like they need 10 PhDs to get married, I will not be allowed to marry without having an “advanced” degree even if I don’t want one.
People make things hard to get married. One of the things is sisters’ extravagant dowries and ridiculously extravagant and expensive weddings. Sisters don’t understand how difficult this is for men and they don’t understand how much a man has to work like a dog to get these things that are not only unnecessary but are blocks to marriage.
hmm…you have a valid point there about the cost of weddings and situations with make compulsory for a person to study/get a job before they get married. I also agree that not men are foul and immature and womanizers.
I am glad you feel that way.
ach, I would like to clarify…I do not have a feminist agenda here. Moslamach, it should be okay if i did sound feminist…ceart (?) 🙂
Feminism is aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, eacnamaíoch, and social rights for women (wiki)
Assalamu alaykum warahmatullah.
My brothers and sisters, may Allah reward you all for any good intentions u may have had while writing your comments (and the editor and author of the article). But let us not forget the rights of others….subhanallah do we really want to stand on the Last Day with many good deeds but to be taken away by people because we said something about them on the net or elsewhere that they disliked?
I was going to state my opinion but i have refrained from doing so at the present moment lest i say something that is inconsiderate or displeasing to anyone or Allah.
I have only one advice for me and you all…..
Let’s all work on our relationship with Allah and place our trust and hopes in Him but also work towards them too.
May Allah reward you all and save us from any diseases of the heart, those that are veiled from sight. Amen.
Aiméin…. good approach… JazakAllah Khair!!
Why do typical malaysian muslimah must think that men has to do the proposing ? Even Saidatina Khadijah proposed to Nabi Muhammad . if you think for a second that men must propose to women , then you are terribly wrong . If you want to get married , find one . There is no shame in it . Ar ndóigh , education is important. Men wouldnt want to marry someone who is not educated . How would you educate your children then , ceart ? but at one point you might want to consider having a life with your family . and for the record , there so much things a muslimah can do . Fill up your time with the knowledge of Islam .” Forum , Ceramah , kelas mengaji , involve with the islamic society ” so many things . Open your eyes and heart . You’d be suprised . -18 years old teenage girl –
Deirfiúr, Deen should be more important. Knowledge and Education are 2 separate things. I would prefer to marry a Practicing Muslim woman VS an educated one who doesn’t pray etc.
It’s never too late for education. Even after marriage one can get an education.
There are many brothers, including myself who only look for deen when they are looking to get married.
I 2nd that
how are the high school or college student suppose to provide enough money for their family? doesn’t it becomes a burden for the couple to continue their education and also live a conjugal life? I do support the post here, but that’s the question I ask to myself whenever I think I want to get married.
Deartháir, I know of people that do it. Yes they are busy, but the completed half their Deen. They continue their education AND work.
Ayesha sister most of Grils are waiting a man whit wite Hosrse ,and whit much Money, not wiht much deen,thats wyh wir are waiting grils first deen Allah cc after that everthing comig it self but ,we have to bleve it deep our heards…
Jazakhallah to the writer, may Allah continue to enrich you in knowledge. But in a country like Nigeria, early marriage is considered ridiculous. As undergraduates, it s almost impossible 2 convince our parents to allow us marry. And our men? Hmmm..many of them don t consider marriage until when they are ‘comfortable’ (usually in their 30 s). Go dtuga Allah cabhrú linn!
Aiméin
Assalaamalikum Wahrahmatullahi Wabarakhatahu
May Allah reward you for your efforts. Aiméin
From a personal perspective, I think its very very beneficial for young muslims to wed, particularly in the west where we’re constantly bombarded by sexual content, whether it be on tv, magazines, music or even while walking the streets. We all possess those animalistic desires that are hard for some or easy to dampen, either way, I believe marriage is the key to success in the eyes of Allah. Think of it a shield to protect you from sin. Might I remind you, Zinaa is not just fornication, it is everything that leads to it as well.
Unfortunately there are many dilemma’s that we face, I struggled long and hard to try and convince my parents to let me get married… and this was for religious purposes, and they’d refuse.. whether it be for cultural reasons or educational. It’s tough, but Alhumdulillah I put trust in Allah and made continuous Dua and now I’m engaged Sub hann Allah.
In terms of finding the right spouse, I guess you could use these online facilities such as purematrimony.com. otherwise young brothers and sister should take their siblings of the opposite sex (if they have any, if not cousins) to Islamic society events, and if you see someone you’re interested in, ask your brother or sister (mahram) to approach them for you. This is the most Halal way I can recommend.
In sha allah, allah will reward you all for your patience, Allah is with the patient 🙂
Walaikumsalaam Wrahmatullahi Wabarakhatahu
P.S
Might I add.. I’m currently studying a degree, which is the main reason my parents took so long agree. Anyone can easily combine the two, Fad is a bhíonn do chéile tacúil agus tuisceanach. Inn sha Allah.
Sílim go ndéanann an t -alt seo roinnt pointí maithe. ach, Níor chóir an bonn a bhaint as oideachas. Ba chóir go mbeadh cothromaíocht idir an dá cheann. Sílim go bhfuil sé tábhachtach do Muslimahs (Go háirithe na cinn atá ina gcónaí i sochaithe an Iarthair) leanúint ar aghaidh lena spriocanna oideachais toisc go ligeann sé dóibh a bheith cliste agus níos so -shocraithe le daoine eile. Móide, Tá go leor tuismitheoirí a spreagann a n -iníonacha chun leanúint ar aghaidh lena gcuid oideachais níos muiníní nach mbeidh a n -iníon sáinnithe ina n -aonar ina n -aonar. Beidh sí in ann maireachtáil go neamhspleách gan a bheith ag trócaire eile ach amháin i gcás Allah (SWT).
I mo thuairim, Is bronntanas é an t -oideachas. Ar an bhfíric go bhfuil Allah (SWT) thug sé an intleacht agus na hacmhainní dúinn chun oideachas a fháil thar fhocail. Tá an t -ádh linn, Mura dtógfaimid an deis é a fháil anois ansin cathain a dhéanfaimid? Ní dóigh liom go bhfuil aon rud cearr le spriocanna oideachais a shocrú duit féin, go háirithe más duine é “Prionsa a fheictear” b'fhearr léi go bhfaigheadh sí oideachas freisin. Sa lá atá inniu ann, mar aon le mná Moslamacha a bheith in ann cócaireacht a dhéanamh, glan, srl. Fiafraíonn daoine an bhfuil sí ag obair, Téann chuig an gcoláiste, agus/nó a thiomáineann. Rudaí cosúil le cibé acu an gcaitheann sí hijaab nó nach gcaitheann sí, léann Namaaz, & Is iad Qur'aan an rud deireanach ar phobail’ ‘Céile-Wishlist.’ Mar sin, B'fhéidir go mbeadh alt a phléitear na saincheisteanna seo tairbheach dár sochaí mar is cosúil go bhfuil sé thar a bheith neamhghnách, Fadhb atá ag fás inár sochaí. Ní mná óga Moslamacha atá ag lorg oideachais an cheist, the problem is that nowadays people are seeking WRONG qualities when searching for their spouse.
If a Muslim woman has the money, resources, and intellect then why shouldn’t she go to college? The blessing of marriage comes from Allah (SWT) and when it’s supposed to happen it will; ag an am ceart, under the correct circumstances. Instead of us discouraging our Muslim youth from education and pressuring our Muslimahs to get married, we should give support and encourage our people to excel in the education of our Deen and Dunya.
Ó, and on another note: education is a process where an individual gains maturity and establishment. If we don’t allow our Muslim women to obtain an education and instead marry them off at ages where maturity and capability are nowhere to be found, then how should you expect her to raise her household in a proper, mature, and Islamic manner?
I’m quite disappointed with this article, but anyway I hope I didn’t offend anyone with what I said. I just want people to see the other side of things. I feel like there are times when we don’t understand the type of stress and pressure a young Muslim woman goes through. It’s hard for her to fit in with society as a covered young woman, undermine her desires to follow the fashion trends around her, and then on top of that there’s constant pressure from others for her to fit in this way and that, pósadh, srl. This is not fair and it’s about time someone stood up for the Muslimah youth.
I know a lot of people are going to feel that I’m just saying a whole bunch of ‘feminist junk’ but the truth is that nowadays, anything that a woman does for herself all of a sudden seems ‘feminist’ or ‘Westernized.’
Bealtaine Allah (SWT) forgive me of anything that I have said wrong and may He guide our youth towards the better. I’ve come upon some great articles on this site but this one just doesn’t quite fit right with what purematrimony.com strives to encourage in our society.
I agree with you completely. I am equally disappointing.
Aontaím. i was totally disappointed with the article. Education is a necessity today which aids survival even in married life. The age of marriage and the results of marriage are all pre-ordained. People need to set their goals and paths straight
I disagree with this article on so many levels. Ar an gcéad dul síos, Islam is the religion if knowledge. The first ayaah to be revealed ordered us to read, which emphasizes the importance of education. It is every Muslim’s duty to acquire knowledge both religious and wordly. Think about it, if everyone was just concerned with learning religion, where would our community turn to when in need of medical attention?
I think it’s ridiculous how women’s acquirement of knowledge is so fervently opposed and deemed secondary to that of man’s. I feel like it’s this attitude that makes women dependent on men and unable to stand on their own two feet. It is the root of domestic violence, especially in Muslim households, because women have no other option, no where else to turn to but to their abusive husbands. Obviously this isn’t the case when a woman is educated. Her degree provides her with options and a means to survive on her own if necessary.
“Educate a man and you educate one person; educate a woman and you educate a whole nation.” The first person kids learn from are their mothers…those first years are crucial in instilling values in children and shaping their character, and a mother’s importance goes unquestioned. My mom believes this and I agree; she says schools/universities do not only provide you with knowledge on the subject material you’re learning, but it teaches you proper manners/etiquette and overall how to be a better person.
And finally, I’d like to remind that marriage is not obligatory in Islam, it’s a sunnah. I dislike it when people provide examples of the sahabah who got married young, mar, let’s be practical, times have changed. The maturity of the teenage sahabahs most definitely does not parallel the maturity of the teenagers/young adults today. People need to wake up. This is a sad reflection of the societies that Muslims have built.
MashaAllah sister 🙂 I completely agree with you. If a women is educated then she can voice her self with confidence and will hopefully not take domestic violence lying down.
I dont think he was talking bad about Education. The first Ayah also talks about Knowledge and not education. 2 different things.
A knowledgeable woman is different from an Educated one.
Freisin, Níl aon chúis nach féidir le duine ar bith leanúint ar aghaidh le hoideachas tar éis an phósta.
Ach hug, Más mian leat fanacht go dtí go bhfuil an píosa páipéir sin agat a deir gur féidir leat, iad ar gach uile bhealach.
Tá sé in am dúinn seasamh suas dúinn féin agus dár n -iníonacha. Cén chaoi a dtabharfaimid aghaidh orthu nuair a bheidh siad faoi réir na mbrúnna céanna atá againn nuair a thiocfadh linn céimeanna a ghlacadh go héasca chun an rud seo a chosc ó tarlú sa todhchaí? Tá an t -alt seo gortaithe go mór orm, Is dóigh liom nach bhfuil luach mo chuid oideachais rud ar bith, nach bhfuil mé ach chun fanacht glammed suas cosúil le doll do m’fhear céile, agus go gcaithfidh mé an cruth gearrtha fianán a chur in oiriúint a chuireann an tsochaí i bhfeidhm ar mhná chun dul isteach ann.
Conas nach bhfuil deireadh curtha leis an gcineál seo smaointeoireachta faoi láthair!? Tá sé absurd agus i ndáiríre scanrúil. Mar sin féin, Neartaigh an sliocht mo spriocanna oideachais díreach agus chuir sé ar mo chumas pósadh a shíneadh go dtí go bhfuil an t -am ceart. Tá sé greannmhar, Bhí an t -alt ceaptha a chur ina luí ar mhná cosúil linn gan moill a chur ar an bpróiseas pósta ach bhí an tionchar eile aige, agus is é sin an rud a thugaim ar theip epic.
Mar sin…Chuirfeá moill ar phósadh go dtí go mbeidh do iníonacha “oideachta” Go leor le haghaidh pósadh?
Riosca zina dóibh?
Ní thuigim conas nach féidir le daoine anseo a gcuid oideachais a chríochnú tar éis an phósta.
Níl aon rud dodhéanta nó ró -chrua.
Asalu alailum
Bhuel ní dóigh liom go mbaineann an pósadh an bonn den oideachas ar chor ar bith, Tá deirfiúr agam a phós ag aois 17 (a dúil féin) Lean sí lena hoideachas an bealach ar fad chuig PhD, Phós mo dheirfiúr dlí ag 21 agus chuaigh sé chuig an ollscoil tar éis an phósta, Tá mo dheirfiúr eile ag pósadh an mhí seo chugainn Inshaallah, Tá sí ag pleanáil freisin dul chun na hollscoile.
Tá go leor cairde agam atá ag iarraidh pósadh, chun iad féin a chosaint ó zina nó cathú (tá cuid acu a thit isteach ann cheana féin). Ach tá an tsochaí tar éis iad a chlárú chun smaoineamh “Ní féidir liom pósadh go dtí go mbeidh céim agam, Post le £ 30k+ tuarastal, a theach”
Tá an fonn atá ar chomhluadar difriúil i ngach duine, Níl sé seo faoi riail amháin do chách, Ach tá a fhios agam an iomarca daoine a chuaigh síos an cosán mícheart go príomha toisc nár thuig na tuismitheoirí riachtanais a bpáistí. Is ceist mhór í seo, Tá na páistí ag insint dá dtuismitheoirí gur mian leo pósadh (chun iad féin a chosaint ó thitim isteach i Fitna) Agus deir na tuismitheoirí “níl, Tá tú ró -óg”.
Cairde le tuismitheoirí a d’fhéadfadh tacú go héasca le ball eile den teaghlach, Abair gan a gcuid leanaí, “Tá tú ró -óg, Críochnaigh do chéim ar dtús”
Ná déan dearmad ar aghaidh deartháireacha agus deirfiúracha Fitna, Agus tú ag dul chuig an gcoláiste nó an ollscoil, Tá aithne agam ar go leor deartháireacha agus deirfiúracha a gabhadh i bpeacaí móra, Mar gheall ar mhianta nádúrtha atá acu, Ach ní chiallaíonn aon halal iad a shásamh, páirt a ghlacadh leis na daoine míchearta.
Níor chóir an ayah seo a mheas faoina luach
“Is iad seo do chuid baill éadaigh agus is tusa a gcuid éadaigh.” [Surah Baqarah, rann 187]
Do na deartháireacha agus na deirfiúracha a cheapann go bhfuil pósadh óg dona toisc go bhféadfadh sé colscaradh a dhéanamh, Bhuel ar an gcéad dul síos ní dócha má tá tógáil an linbh láidir i luachanna Ioslamacha, secondly the spouse is more likely to be a source of support and protection, but if it did end up in divorce, that is much much much better than zina and the risk of losing your child to all the sins associated with zina, like mixing with the opposite sex, partying, clubbing and drinking, it becomes a lifestyle, a hard one to get out of.
Everyone should seek knowledge, you should never stop seeking knowledge that benefits, but seeking knowledge should be built around Quran and Sunnah, we should not sacrifice the core values of Islam for the sake of a “degree” which will expose you to haraam influences, influences you are not mature/strong enough to resist, which play on your natural desires and risk moving you further away from Allah SWT
Bealtaine Allah (SWT) logh dom aon rud a dúirt mé mícheart agus go bhféadfainn é a threorú go léir ar an gcosán ceart
deartháir aontaithe!!!
100%
Go raibh maith agat!
Sa lá atá inniu ann níl daoine ag féachaint an leanaimid deen nó nach leanann .. tá suim acu go léir i stádas teaghlaigh,saibhreas,leachtacht airgeadais…Tagann Deen i bhfad níos déanaí nó deirim nár tháinig sé i bpóstaí pósta.…Is mac léinn mé, Ba mhaith liom pósadh agus ní féidir liom ach teach na gcúiseanna thuasluaite…An féidir le duine ar bith a mholadh dom cad is féidir liom a dhéanamh sna sa chumhdaigh sin….
Ní dóigh liom gur droch -smaoineamh é pósadh fad is atá duine ar scoil. Tá sé níos oiriúnaí do dhaoine eile, Agus má bhraitheann tú go bhfuil tú ar cheann acu ansin déan Dua go Allah (SWT). Tá a fhios aige cad is fearr, Agus beidh sé ar an gceann chun tú a threorú i dtreo do chéile. Má tá tú réidh ansin is cinnte go dtabharfaidh sé tú chuig cúinsí an phósta, agus mura bhfuil a fhios agat ansin go bhfuil a fhios aige cad é an t -am is fearr duitse.
Deir sé sa Qur'an a deir sé: “Ach b’fhéidir gur fuath leat rud agus tá sé go maith duit; Agus b’fhéidir go bhfuil grá agat do rud agus tá sé dona duitse. Agus tá a fhios ag Allah, Cé nach bhfuil a fhios agat.” (2:216). Cuirfidh an chomhairle seo agus achoimre a dhéanamh ar beagán foighne ar fáil duit dul go mór. B’fhéidir anois go mbraitheann tú go bhfuil an pósadh ina dheis iontach duit, Ach b'fhéidir nach é an t -am is fearr anois mar sin Allah (SWT) An bhfuil tú ag fanacht beagán níos mó. Bíodh creideamh agat agus bí foighneach, Tá a lán daoine ag dul faoin staid chéanna agus atá tú ach is é an post atá againn daoine eile a spreagadh chun fanacht dóchasach, Mura dtacaímid lena chéile anois ansin cathain a dhéanaimid?
As-Salam Alaykum le gach Ummah atá i láthair anseo. Léigh tuairimí agus bhí níos mó spéise agat i ndáiríre. Is scoil í an phósadh nach gcéimníonn aon duine go dtí go bhfaigheann sé bás agus mar sin measaim go mbeadh sé i bhfad níos fearr a bheith foighneach agus gach rud a theastaíonn uaidh a dhéanamh do theaghlach. Tá comhghleacaí sóisearach agam a raibh leanbh aige roimh a 3ú bliain, Seiceáil sé air agus chuir sé a sliocht nua i gcion toisc nach raibh an cúram ceart ag an leanbh a bhí dlite do Born Nua agus mar sin measaim go bhfuil sé níos fearr go meabhrach agus go airgeadais. MAA Salam
Beannachtaí, Sílim gur chóir do gach Moslamach agus Moslamach aonair eolas a shaothrú an oiread agus is mian leo. Ní bac ar an bpósadh an t -oideachas. Cad a bhíonn ag oideachas a fháil lena gcónaíonn tú sa bhaile? Tá a fhios agam go gcaithfidh tú aire a thabhairt dá chéile, Ach ar an láimh eile tá an oiread sin tacaíochta agat freisin! Is mac léinn fochéime mé agus tá a fhios agam faoi atleast cúig, seisear mac léinn atá ag gabháil, pósta, nó go bhfuil siad pósta agus go bhfuil leanaí acu agus go bhfuil siad fós ag déanamh go han -mhaith ina gcuid oideachais! M’athair féin a bhfuil post lánaimseartha aige, a bhean chéile, Agus tá ceathrar páistí sna déaga chun aire a thabhairt dóibh ag leanúint a dhara PhD agus tá sé ag déanamh iontach air freisin! Alhamdulillah.
Táim féin ag pleanáil dul ar scoil iarchéime agus sea, Tar éis dom a bheith déanta le mo fhochéimí táim chun Inshaallah a phósadh agus leanúint ar aghaidh le mo chuid oideachais 😀 Is féidir linn é a dhéanamh! haha
Assalam Alaykum
@ Zubair: Chuir tú mo smaointe in iúl go han -mhaith & tuairim. Bealtaine Allah ina Mercies Open Open Open Open ardaithe na Veils a cuireadh thar ár n -aghaidh go léir in ainm iarracht a dhéanamh dul isteach i sochaí fear a rinne dlíthe agus na foraitheacha uachtaracha a thréigean
Go maire sé pósadh dóibh siúd a bhfuil fonn orthu cosaint a dhéanamh ar a ndeen & onóir. Agus is fearr a fhios ag Allah
Alt maith agus tuairimí iontacha!
Do na buachaillí:
Aontaím leis an tuairim go bhfuil póstaí costasach sa lá atá inniu ann, leis na cailíní go léir ag iarraidh póstaí agus fáiltithe maithe mar gheall ar a lá speisialta’ Mar sin, ná faigh dúinn na mban mícheart, we just want to be financially able because a prospective daughter’s parents will always look at how financially capable the boy is. At the end of the day a ‘nikkah’ is a contract whereby the girls parents transfer their responsibilities on her to the newly husband. So guys in a way are programmed to finish school, get their degree and get a job, and then look for a prospective wife because lets be honest, as a guy who would want to send a marriage proposal, I would want to show that I am working and have a educated background. It would only make the marriage process alot easier for me.
Do chailíní:
I agree on the part of being educated. Islam defines education for both men and women. If you want to do your studies then follow through, Ach má tá togra maith ann agus má tá suim agat ann is é an réiteach is fearr ná go mbeidh tú i mbun staidéir agus inshallah beidh céile sa todhchaí agat a fhéadann comhairle mhaith agus tacaíocht mhothúchánach a sholáthar duit agus nuair a bheidh tú críochnaithe agus an t -am a thagann inshallah pósadh.
Maidir le cosaint an údair, I go leor cásanna faigheann cailíní moltaí agus iad ar scoil agus pósadh sula gcríochnaíonn siad. Ach níor chóir go gcuirfeadh sé sin cosc orthu oideachas a dhéanamh mar is féidir leo dul ar scoil anois agus céile tacúil a bheith acu sa bhaile. Is ábhar an -tábhachtach é an pósadh in Ioslam, Go háirithe sa lá atá inniu ann nuair a bhíonn gnéas go cothrom i ngach áit osclaíonn muid ár súile, Cén chaoi eile atá Moslamaigh óga le bheith ag sracadh gan pósadh ina bpríomh -nó go luath má fhaigheann siad an céile ceart.
Dia (swt) Oibríonn sé ar bhealaí mistéireach, Ní thuigimid riamh é ach tarlaíonn rudaí ceart nuair a cheaptar iad. Tá sé beartaithe againn aois ach Allah (swt) Tá pleananna níos mó againn dúinn. Níl le déanamh againn ach an rún ceart a bheith againn, Chun Inshallah a lorg le chéile nuair a bhíonn muid réidh go meabhrach. Níl an pósadh éasca, tá sé infact meileann diana agus caithfidh ceann a bheith go fisiciúil, go mothúchánach, go síceolaíoch, ullmhaithe go spioradálta agus go airgeadais. Nuair a bheidh tú dírithe ar tú féin a fheabhsú ar an saol crua atá romhainn ansin beannú Inshallah duit le cailín/buachaill ar mhaith leat agus ba mhaith leat pósadh leis.
Thaitin an post seo leis an bpost seo! Is mian liom go bhféadfadh mo thuismitheoirí é a léamh ar bhealach éigin.
Táim ag casadh 21 go luath, Ba mhaith liom i ndáiríre pósadh agus is é an chúis is mó ná fanacht amach ó rudaí míchearta, Ach tá eagla orm a rá le mo thuismitheoirí mar níl an ollscoil críochnaithe agam go fóill, Ní amháin scanraithe, Braithim freisin go bhfuil coz cúthail agam a fhios agam má deirim leo seo go gceapann siad go raibh siad mícheart ormsa as a bheith ag iarraidh pósadh ag an aois seo, Meastar go raibh sé óg dóibh. A bheith aige le 2 Déanann deartháireacha aonair níos sine níos deacra fós é.
Níl le déanamh agam ach guí a dhéanamh ar Allah JJ.
Tá an deirfiúr ag fiafraí “Cá bhfuil na deartháireacha?”
Agus táim ag fiafraí “Cá bhfuil na Siúracha?”
níl lol againn go léir
Tá cnaipe freagartha ag daoine. Déanann sé éasca a thaispeáint cé a thugann trácht ar leith atá tú ag freagairt freisin, in ionad “@”…