13 Nasihun Iyaye Waɗanda Zasu Canza Rayuwarku

Uwa da uba a ko'ina suna sunkuyar da 'ya'yansu baya don kawai su ƙare da rashin godiya, matasa marasa mutunci da rashin amfani waɗanda a ƙarshe suka zama manya. Parents get a shock when they buy their kids cell phones, video games and do what they can to keep them happy in the hope their kids will be grateful, loving and successful. WRONG!

We’re living in the first ever generation of parents where the focus is on teaching kids to be happy rather than teaching them life skills to succeed. The two are NOT the same! Don haka a nan 13 tips which will help your kids become successful, godiya, productive and motivated:

1. Don’t Know How vs Don’t Want To

Do your kids make excuses when you ask them to do something? Idan haka ne, the likelihood is you have never taught them HOW. Stop and take a moment to TEACH whatever it is you are asking your child to do. Once they know how, if they say they don’t want to, they are being lazy (see tip 7)

2. Understand YOUR Job

Your job is NOT to make your kids happy! Your job is to teach your kids LIFE SKILLS so they can thrive independently without you. There’s a HUGE difference between loving your child and buying stuff for them to make them happy. The first helps your child feel deeply connected and happy, the second teaches your child that things are more important than people, which leads to ingratitude, whining and complaining as well as a lack of motivation to want to do anything because they know you will do it for them

3. Create a Checklist of Skills Your Child Should Know

Take the time to research the skills your child should know for their age including: communication skills, academic, zamantakewa, na ruhaniya, success habits etc. Draw up a list and commit to TEACHING your child each one before moving onto the next one. Week by week, you should aim to teach your child 2-3 new skills. Once your child knows, you’ve completed that lifeskill and you move onto the next

4. Teach Responsibility

The number one reason for kids who are ungrateful, lazy and constantly complain is YOU doing or giving everything to them. There is NO motivation for a child to want to do anything for themselves because they know you will do it or give it to them. Give your child chores and make them responsible for everything they do or have in their life. Treats should be EARNED and you should NEVER reward bad behavior

5. Ignore The Emotional Blackmail

Your job is to be a parent and not their best friend. Wannan yana nufin ɗaukar mataki lokacin da ba sa yin kamar yadda aka gaya musu. Bi ta hanyar sakamako yayin da suke karya dokoki kuma suna watsi da yanayin tashin hankali ('Na ki jinin ka', 'Kuna nufin') Ko da yawan yadda yake ciwo, Ba zai taɓa cutar da shi kamar yadda ranar suke yin wani abu mai kyau ba cewa ta karya ku - kuma duk saboda kun shagala sosai don farantawa da su maimakon kasancewa iyaye

6. Kuna samun dodanni da kuka cancanci

Ya gaza a matsayin iyaye lokacin da yara suka tafi jirgin ruwan na kaiwa ne mai zafi - amma kusan koyaushe laifinku ne. Kun fita daga yaranku abin da kuka saka a ciki. Idan kun yi sukar koyaushe, Za ku ɗan da ɗa wanda ya koyi yin hukunci maimakon nuna tausayi. Idan ka la'anta yaranka, Za ku tayar da yaro mara nauyi. Idan koyaushe kuna bayar da yaranku, Za ku ɗaga mai neman mai neman taimako da yawa wanda yake tunanin ya cancanci duk abin da suke so. Idan kun yi jagora tare da iyakoki da ƙauna, Za ku ɗan ɗaga yaro wanda yake kulawa, Yana da alhakin

7. Sanya yaran da ke da alhakin zabin nasu

Ka bayyana shi a sarari cewa idan yaranka sun zabi kar su yi aikin gida, Suna zaɓar suna da haɗin gwiwa. Idan ɗanku bai tsabtace ɗakinsu ba, Suna zaɓar su rasa a kan lokacin iyali. Koyaushe yana sa su da alhakin zabin su don haka yayin da suke girma, Sun fahimci cewa ba za su zarga da wasu ko yin uzuri lokacin da abubuwa suka yi daidai ba

8. Karka taɓa ba ɗanku wayar hannu

Wannan shine farkon dananan yara da aka lalata da wayoyin salula. Simply put – your child should never EVER be given a cell phone or you’re inviting trouble into your home. Kids who are more pre-occupied with their phone have poor communication and social skills, are more withdrawn, have greater problems with their emotional intelligence and are more irresponsible and poorly behaved than kids who don’t. If your child can call or text whoever they want, you can bet they are in touch with people who might not be good for them. If they can watch whatever they want on YouTube, you’re in for a rude awakening. The same goes for free access to the TV and satellite and video games as well. Monitor everything they do and if they MUST have it, allow TIMED and SUPERVISED access and ONLY after they have completed chores

9. Monitor Their Friends

Do you know what kind of friends your child has? Idan ba haka ba, me yasa ba? Teach your child how to choose good friends and more importantly, ensure that the kids they are hanging out with are high achievers with goals and ambition and are responsible and caring. Research has proven time and again that you are the sum of the 5 people you hang around with most often. If your child hangs out with losers, they will end up like them

10. Reward Good Behaviour Appropriately

Good behavior should be rewarded with love, appreciation, yabo, acknowledgement and an occasional treat. Don’t get your kids used to expecting their reward to be THINGS – family time is something kids love and actually prefer over stuff and will teach your child the value of people rather than things

11. Teach Your Kids Gratitude

Koyar da yaranka ka yi godiya ga Allah ga komai. Koyar da yaranku na cin zarafin kashe mintina kaɗan kowace rana godiya Allah ga lafiyarsu, danginsu, gidansu, abinci, Ilimi da sauransu da sauransu. Yin hakan yana gina tawali'u da nuna godiya ga duk abin da suke da shi

12. Koyar da yara game da deen

Mafi kyawun mutane su yi fuskar duniyar wannan ƙasa shine annabi da ya ga mafi kyawun halaye da mafi kyawun halayyar. Koyar da yaranku game da Annabi, game da Allah kuma mafi mahimmanci, Karfafa da saka hannun jari a Ci gaban yaranku. Salah da azumi suna koyar da horo, sadaukarwa da mai da hankali, Bayar da sadaka ta koyar da abin da kuke da shi. Childan adali yana ɗaya daga cikin mafi kyawun kyaututtuka waɗanda za ku taɓa samun su a cikin Dunya da AKHIRAH! Teach your kids salah so that everytime they pray, you get a portion of the reward

13. Give Your Kids Goals

Daga karshe, give your kids goals and create a plan of action on how to achieve those goals. Every family’s goal should be to attain Allah’s pleasure and go to Jannatul Firdous – but break that down for your kids. What does that look like? Set smaller goals like ‘Fasting Ramadan’ or ‘Raising £1000 for Charity’ and encourage and push your kids to work for their goals. You’ll be amazed at how far this attitude will get them in life

Auren Tsabta – Mafi Girman Sabis na Ma'aurata a Duniya Don Aiwatar da Musulmai