Share Wannan
Sau da yawa muna jin matsalolin da ke faruwa tsakanin mata da surukansu. Akwai abubuwa da yawa da ke haifar da kazamin dangantakar da wasu matan ke yi da surukai; some of which, su ne:
Lack of respect: Respect for others is a fine quality to possess; it is never that it is practiced between people except that love and harmony will engulf them. Islaam has commanded the young to show respect towards their elders, kuma haka, respecting one’s mother in-law is a must. This is due to the fact that not only is she an elder, but also because she was the reason for the daughter in-law’s husband being present in this world, as it was her who delivered him.
The daughter in-law must realise that she will eventually become a mother, and if it is of a son, then he will eventually marry, and she will therefore become a mother in-law who would long for respect from her daughter in-law. ‘Amr ibn Shuayb narrated on the authority of his father that the Messenger of Allah (assalamu alaikum) yace, “He is not one of us who shows no mercy to (namu) younger ones, and does not acknowledge the honour due to our elders.”
Expressing enmity: There is another type of daughter in-law who deals with her mother in-law, from day one, as if she is her worst enemy. This could be due to the incorrect manner in which the daughter in-law was brought up, or to the repeated warnings that her own mother, the society and the media gave her regarding her future mother in-law before she got married.
Based on this, the wife would exert all efforts to make her husband hate his mother and brothers and sisters; she may even invent events that never took place, or exaggerate in relating ones that did; tana iya yin tuhumar magana game da mahaifiyar mijinta da 'yan'uwanta maza da har sai ta yi nasara wajen tilasta wa gidan mahaifiyarsa kuma ta zauna tare da ita, kadai.
Irin wannan rayuwar cuta ce, kuma wanda ya ƙunshi matsaloli da yawa. Harithah Ibn Wahb ya ruwaito: "Na ji manzon Allah yana cewa, "Ba zan sanar da ku game da fursunonin wuta ba? Su ne kowace tashin hankali, Mutumin mutuntaka da girman kai.”
Miji ya dawo daga aiki don ganin muguntar matarsa kuka, Don haka ya nuna ta dalilin, Amma ita tana ci gaba da kuka, domin ta cimma sakamako mafi kyau. Mijin ya nace kan sanin dalilin hakan, Don haka matar ta amsa, A cikin sauti mai ban tsoro, "Ko mahaifiyata ce ko mahaifiyarka a cikin wannan gidan!” Miji yana son sanin abin da matsalar take, "Me ya faru?” ya tambaya, but she begins crying again; the husband asks again, “Please explain to me what happened.” Daga karshe, the wife says, “Your mother bad-mouthed me, and then your sisters gathered around me and insulted me.” Due to the husband being enslaved to his wife, he is enraged, and without even bothering to ascertain if his wife’s statement is true, he goes off in a storm, and screams at his mother and sisters; he forgets the rank of his mother, and that Allaah parallels respect of her to Islaamic monotheism when He says (me ake nufi), “Kuma Ubangijinku Ya hukunta kada ku bauta wa sai Shi, kuma ga iyaye, magani mai kyau. Ko daya ko duka biyun sun kai tsufa [yayin da] da ke, kada ka ce musu [sosai kamar yadda]: ‘uff‘ [i.e, an expression of disapproval or irritation] and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. Kuma ka sassauta musu fikafikan tawali'u daga rahama, kuma ka ce, ‘Ya Ubangijina! Have mercy upon them as they brought me up [lokacin da nake] small.'”
Manzon Allaah (assalamu alaikum) yace, “The pleasure of Allaah is in pleasing one’s parents, and His wrath is in displeasing them.”
Severing ties: Some daughters in-law sever ties with their mothers in-law and never visit, or even have anything to do with them. Such daughters in-law ruin their relationships with their mothers in-law. The mother in-law is human, and would therefore wish that her daughter in-law would treat her as a mother; she would not like to be given the cold shoulder.
In some cases however, the daughter in-law is not evil, but she may be unaware of some of the etiquettes of how to deal with her mother in-law. The daughter in-law who severs ties with her mother in-law causes her husband to abandon his mother and sever his ties with her; haka, such a wife becomes the reason behind his undutifulness towards his mother.
Abu Huraira (Allah Ya yarda da shi) reported that the Messenger of Allaah (assalamu alaikum) yace,”Allaah created all (His) creation, kuma lokacin da ya gama aikin halittar sa, Ar-rahm (i.e, dangantaka da Kinfolk) yace: `(Ya Allaah)! A wurin wannan wurin na nemi tsari tare da kai daga dangantakata.’ Allaah ya amsa: Oneaje zan iya ganina da na yi da alherin waɗanda suke yi muku alheri, da kuma seesewararru tare da waɗanda ke yanke dangantakar ku?’ Ya ce: 'Na gamsu.’ Don haka Allah ya ce, To, wannan naku ne.’ Wannan shine sanar da mu cewa Allah ya baiwa wadannan manyan matsayi: na wanda ya kware a gare shi, aka ba shi; Kuma wanda aka ɗauka a cikin kare Allah bã zã a barsa ba.”4
Abu Hurayrah (Allah Ya yarda da shi) ya ruwaito cewa Annabi (assalamu alaikum) yace, “Bari a ƙasƙantar da shi! Bari a ƙasƙantar da shi! Bari a ƙasƙantar da shi! – Shi wanda iyayensu, daya ko duka biyun, isa tsufa lokacin rayuwarsa, Amma baya shiga Aljanna (ta hanyar kasancewa tare da su).”
A wannan bangaren, Abubuwan da ke haifar da mummunar dangantakar na iya zama a ɓangaren mahaifiyar da kanta, kamar: Kasancewa mai rauni tare da 'yar suruki: Hakkokin uwa sun yi rauni sosai ga 'ya'yansu mata, kuma karfafa 'yayansu su bi da matansu har abada. Abu Hurayrah ya ruwaito, "Ina jin Abu-Qasim (i.e, Annabi) ce: “Mai son kai kaɗai kaɗai aka hana zuciyarsa.”
Kasancewa Jealomu 'yar suruka: Me yasa wasu alurarsa suke son surukai suke ƙaunaci 'ya'yansu yayin raina' ya'yansu mata? Masana halin halin hankali suna cewa wannan sakamakon daga kishi. Dabi'a ce ga mata su zama masu kishi, Amma ya ƙara gaskiyar cewa mahaifiyar ta ji cewa 'yar surukar ta musayar ɗanta tare da ita ta ɗauke shi daga ikonta; saboda haka, Gasar ta taso. Wannan ne musamman idan mai bayarwa ne kawai kuma mai goyan baya shine wannan ɗa, saboda aikinsa zai iya kasancewa na Uba a cikin kula da harkokin gidan kuma kasancewa mai kiyaye mahaifiyarsa, Don haka mahaifiyar za ta ji cewa ta rasa irin wannan muhimmin ɗan zuwa suranta suranta.
Wasu iyaye mata suna da kishin juna suna ganin 'ya'yansu suna farin ciki da jin daɗin matansu; Idan 'yar suruka ta taba koka da ita game da duk wata matsala da za ta iya faruwa da ɗan, Ba za ta taba goyi bayan ta ba; maimakon, Tana gefe tare da ɗanta, Ko da ya kasance mai laifi; haka ma, Tana wulakanta matarsa.
Wani lokaci, Matar na iya yin duk abin da za ta iya don faranta wa uwa surukai; Tana iya magana da ita da kyau, Ba da kyaututtukan ta, kuma bi da ita da girmamawa, amma, Mama suruki koyaushe zai yi kokarin kirkirar matsaloli, kamar yadda ta ji cewa za ta rasa ɗanta.
A wannan yanayin ana ba da shawarar yin haƙuri da haƙuri kuma ka yi wa Allah (Mai girma, Mabuwayi) Don sauƙaƙe yanayinta. Ta zama mai hikima da haƙuri kuma idan ya yiwu ya nemi mijinta ba tare da haifar da rashin lafiya a cikin zuciyarsa ba.
Source: Saleha Bammee, http://idealmuslimah.com/family/in-laws/128-bad-relationship-with-the-mothers-in-law-
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Assalamu al Aikom Wa Rahmatullah Wa Baraktu,
Idan uwa-suriki ne wanda ya sake duban dangantaka da suruki?
Kai, Na karanta wannan kuma na gode wa Allah domin ya albarkace ni da uwa mai ban mamaki da 'yan'uwa a doka, Kodayake ban sadu da dukkan 'yan uwana a cikin dokoki ba tukuna ('Yan uwan mijina’ matan aure) I speak to my husband’s sister and another sister in law (whom he lives with alone with his brother) on a regular basis and not only do I look at them as my own older sisters that I never had, but my very close friends as well, what I may not be able to speak to my husband about, I speak to them and ask them for advice on how to handle things with my husband because of course they know him much better and much longer than I. My mother in law is MashAllah also, from my current few but memorable encounters, a very kind lady and I thank my Allah for sending me not only a wonderful husband but also a wonderful family to go along with him. Reading this article just makes me realize all the more that even if at times I know in the future we may not always agree but as long as I keep my respect for them, they will always be as good to me as they are now 🙂
good one
Inshallah one dau my motherin law will like me x dats all i want from Allah x ill always try my upmost best from nw on and as bfre x im from outside da fmly suppose dats why x iv cried cuz all i want is to be not jus da wife of da son but a gud daughter in law a gud mum a gud wife a gud sistr in kaw and a best friend to my muminlaw to x i await. dat day in patience an prayer inshallah x
Thank you for the insightful an much needed article. I appreciate your words of wisdom, duk da haka, I wonder why the focus is always on the daughter in laws to have good relationships with husband’s mothers, and not vice versa? I think more work needs to be done to ensure good relationships between husbands and their in laws. Too much emphasis is put on wives to make strides for the marriage, and while I believe that that is crucial, I would appreciate reading/hearing more from Islamic sources on how men can be better husbands.
Na sake gode muku.
i agree with u coz the wife’s family also maters alot
My mother in law doesn’t get along with my mother, so she doesn’t like me because of that. Im and adult and I still have to ask my mother in law if I can go to certain places, I have never heard of such things..Im married to her in many ways, wani lokacin ina jin kamar mijina ne kawai abokina. Kowane lokaci ina so in yi wani abu ko tafi wani wuri, Ya ce dole ne in tambayi mahaifiyarta kuma wannan shine abin da ta nema. Allah Ya san wanda zai tafi daga wannan duniyar farko, Amma idan sun tafi tommon, Wanene za mu tambaya?, ba ta tunani game da shi kuma za ta bar wannan duniyar da yaranta za su kasance a kansu, Amma tana da alaƙa da wannan duniyar kuma ba ta yin tunani game da Akhira……
Me zai faru idan surukan ya karya aurenku?
Kai! Wannan labarin an nuna biyayya da gefe ɗaya. Ya kamata a ba da girmamawa da ƙauna daga duka bangarorin biyu don gina dangantaka kuma kowane ƙungiya dole ne su fahimci bambancin kowace dangantaka. Mun shuka abin da muke girbi da abin da muke yi wa yau a ƙarshe zai shafe mu. Aminci, love and respect and more importantly a non-biased opinion is required to ALL relationships so why should this one be any different.
na yarda da ku…
Bismillah .Alhamdulillah …..Mashaa Allah very nice article and very nice attempt…….i hope that .inshaa Allah every Muslim knows about the sayings of Prophet Muhammad SAWW that a person who do not treat elders with respect and who do not treat children with mercy ..He is not one of us ……..So the first and the foremost thing wihich we have to see that One person who is Muslim Alhamdulillah has to act upon the Quran n Sunnah by himself first as every one will b answereable of his /her own deeds …Allah subhana will not ask from us that tell me wat some other person so and so behaved with u in dunya??? …A'a …Allah Subbana ita ce mafi kyawun sakamako waɗanda muke mai da hankali kan sakamakon da Allah Subhana ya yi wa kyawawan ayyukanmu…..Jansa …n wannan tsaunukan , cike da gwaji , Ba zai iya ba da cikakken farin ciki ba tare da baƙin ciki ba …..Janh ne kaɗai wanda yake madawwamin …N na uku muna shud ba tsammani ba tsammani wani abu daga kowane mutum ..infact mu shud kawai suna da fata n bege daga Allah subhana …..Allah ne Subhana Subhana ya ci gaba da mujada a kan hanya na adalci ..meen
Idan mahaifiyata ta zama mai kama kuma duk abubuwan da na yi ba su iya kiranta da ita ba har tsawon lokacin da ba za ta taɓa kiran ta ba, amma koyaushe tana magana da ɗanta,Wannan adalci ne? Ina ƙin ƙiyayya da ita ce kamar mai ba da labari.
very true same is happening to me n am called the bad guy
its not always abt the daughter inlaws being bad the mothers contribute alot
na yarda….:) both must b co-oprative …baliqis i knw such women who r doing this but u just ignore n try 2 finish it 4rm ur side..may ALLAH bless u…:)
I am from an European country. I discovered and became Muslim by my choice. I left my country and my family to follow my husband very far from where i originally am. From the first moment i met with my new family in law, they mistreated me. May be i made mistakes because of our differences in culture and i was very young, but i was never arrogant. My knowledge of Islam was not as good as theirs but i achieved it all by my self, my reading. Sun nuna wariya gare ni saboda na fi sani kamar su. Har yanzu suna yi har yanzu bayan kusan 11 shekaru na zama anan. Ko da na yi addu'a, Mahaifiyata a cikin Shari'a za ta wuce ni kuma ta ce mani cewa addu'ata ta kasance a banza saboda Allah ba zai yarda da su ba. Na yi azumi, za ta gaya mani iri ɗaya, cewa ba shi da amfani sai na yi azumi domin na taba karba.
Iyayena a cikin doka suna da addini. Suna addu'a 5 babu wata damar shi/ta ba za ta nuna sha'awar abin da kuke karantawa ba, sauri, Je zuwa Haj da sauransu.
Lokacin da na kamu da ɗa na biyu, ni da mijina suna cikin wahala na kuɗi, Na isa mahaifiyata a cikin doka, Don shawara da mafi yawa kawai kalma ce mai kyau wanda zai yi kyau saboda ba ni da iyali ko dangi na anan. Ta ce in yi addu'a cewa yarana zai mutu muna fatan irin wannan abu ya faru. Ta kuma ce min abin da zan yi domin in ji kaina.
Shin har yanzu tana da gaske musulma, Domin duk lokacin da ta gaya mani cewa ni ba mahaifiya ce mai kyau ko musulmi mai kyau ba, A koyaushe ina tuna da shawararta don kashe ɗana kashe ɗana da kuma mugayen da ta yi mani?
Na yi fushi da duk waɗannan shekarun takaici, Kuma ina rokon Allah ya taimake ni ya shawo kan fushi, amma da zaran ta sake cewa a gare ni, Na sake fushi.
Me ya kamata in yi?
Ta yaya za su iya faɗi haka? Dukkanin addu'o'inku da azumi za a karba idan kun karanta Kalima, yi imani da 1 Allah da Annabi. Kun tuba dama? Sannan za a karba a ganina. Ba za su ce kamar haka zuwa ur yaro ba :/. Wataƙila suna jelous na u kamar labarin faɗi ko dont kamar u cos u ba musulmi b4 ba. But there is nothing to dislike in that.
Pray to Allah for them and also seek forgiveness for if u have done anything wrong b4 converting and inshallah Allah will listen u:) Ask him for help infact he is the most forgiver and the compassionate one. I will also pray for you and all other sisters……
One more thing, did u converted after marriage?
Its heart breaking reading your post, as a muslim convert myself i understand how it is to be treated badly by other muslims who feel superior to u. But the great thing is that when u study the quran and the hadith u will discover that they are wrong and they are inviting the wrath of Allah by their actions. Allah is our focus and pleasing him should be all you care about. Even though your mother in-law has been mean and unkind to u, be civil with her do not exchange insults with her, smile and be happy most of the time and it will make her wonder why u dont mind her meanness. But most of all pray for continued peace, luv and mercy between u and your husband because that is what will sustain your home. May Allah ease our burden .
it must’ve been a very hard years you had been through..i’m sorry for you..
i think you should visit your family in Europe and try to repair your relationship between you and your non-Muslim family. They’re still your family even if they aren’t Muslim. Always remember what The Messenger of Allah (assalamu alaikum) yace, “The pleasure of Allah is in pleasing one’s parents, and His wrath is in displeasing them.” Try to please your own parents before you pleased another (your parents-in law) because they’re the reason why you existed.
what if mother in law is creating mis understandings b/w u n ur partner n portraying u rong n becomes happy when ur husband insults u n treat badly. what shud such a girl do
This is very biased and clearly written by a man who has no idea of the realities of life as a mother inlaw or daugther inlaw. There are stories in this article which are an incorrect description of what actually happens.
Na yarda, where why is there so much focus on a daugther inlaw’s relationship with her husband’s mother? What about a man’s relationship with his inlaws? Yana jin cewa al'adun sun dauki wadataccen yalwata kan addini.
Kun rubuta gaskiya n Hadith kyakkyawa amma ban so wannan labarin.hamadulilah,Ina da kyakkyawar dangantaka mai kyau tare da mil.i suna son ta da yawa,Ta tashi tsaye a gare ni, ita ce frue Kada ku canza kuma ku cutar da rayuwar danginmu.wat shawarwarin zaku iya bayarwa don hakan??All we can do is be good and seek Allahs help.As islamic writer you should develop a unjudgemental attitude.And advice for both MIL and DIL should have been given in a tasteful manner.
Sister they have said only DIL to show
mercy right? Its bcos no mother in
laws is going to read this article. But i
agree with u that both should
understand each other. And not just
youngers should respect elders but both should respect each other.
im in the same situation where my mother in law is jealous and thinks im taking her son away from her, my father in law passed away 20 years ago and iv been married 6 shekaru. she has told me in many occasionas that im taking her son away i have 2 Yara da rayuwa a cikin daki mai kama da ni saboda mijina ba ya son barin mahaifiyarsa sai in kawo mahaifinsa ist ga mahaifiyarsa ('yan uwansa ma) iv ya ce masa idan ya shafi wani matsayi inda dole ne mu fita da rashin lafiya da murna a kan jirgin, Amma da alama tana tunanin im mara kyau. Duk ya sauko a ƙarshen rana game da yadda suke a matsayin 'ya, Mahaifiyata A Cikin ACUR ta kasance da uwa a cikin shari'a ta sami uwa ta mataki a cikin dokar da ta kasance sosai sosai a gare ta, Ba ta taɓa ƙaunar uwa a cikin dokar ba don fahimtar abin da ya ji daɗin ƙaunar 'ya mace. Ko da abin da Sutturar muke tare da mahaifiyarmu a dokokinmu koyaushe za ku tuna mahaifiyar ku kuma ku girmama su.
'Yar'uwa sun ce dil don nuna jinƙai dama? Bcos ba mahaifiya ba ce a dokar za ta karanta wannan labarin. Amma na yarda da ku cewa duka biyun ya kamata su fahimci juna. Kuma ba kawai son yara su mutunta dattawa ba amma duka su girmama juna. 🙂
Asak,masha allah na kyau na gaske na yaba da wannan……..Allah ya albarkaci dukkan sauran 'yarin a cikin Lauzzzzz….Annannnnnnnn
Assalamu Alaikum
Ina da wata matsala tare da mahaifiyata a cikin Dokar.i Koyaushe girmama ita koyaushe kuma koyaushe ban yarda da ni ba.…Ina aiki daga safe zuwa maraice…Ta nvr ya ba ni damar yin addu'ar Salati zuwa gare ni tare da mazina.…Ba su son cewa wani ya yi muku ziyarci ni daga iyalina…Miji na ya ce mahaifiyata da uba dole ne su kula da shi Royred tare da shi.
Suna ba ni wahalar tunani da kuma jiki kuma da daren dare aiki a gidan. Amma na yi hakuri a kowane lokaci.
Amma yanzu ba zan iya bcoz koyaushe ba a zagi iyayena…Plz ya gaya mani abin da zan yi a wannan yanayin.Allah Hafiz
Ina son wannan shafin, Yana sa na yi tunanin wannan ba kadai ke da batutuwa masu wahala, Allhamdulila i have been blessed with a wonderful husband who knows how to keep the balance between his mother and wife, yeh we have problems every now and then but what family doesnt, if it wasnt for my husband i dont think i wouldv been able to cope. to all mother in laws and daughter in laws please have respect for one and another, if you give sometime to understand eachother you will have the beautiful relationship that you never wouldv thought of having. be patient with one another, yana daukan lokaci. inshallah allah will give both of you the sabar that u need.
this advice is really good.. but only for those with problems and yet at the same time for those happy with their in laws and wish to improve their relationships.. My husband and in laws treat me alot better than my own parents do Alhamdulillah.. and i hope and pray it stays like that.. Although unlike every other daughter in law on this page I have only had 3 months with my mother in law and I realised I am blessed because my father in law and my husbands grandma love me to bits =) my husbands cousins however have tried to ruin my relationships by making faulse accusations on me and meddling in my family business when its got nothing to do with them.. i discussed the matter with my husband and he advised me to ignore them as it is them committing the sin of trying to ruin my family.. and yet when i tell my mother in law she stays quite because she knows it is her nieces whom are in the wrong but at the end if they carry on the way they are, who will my mother in law stand by? Me or her nieces? but although I am doubtful about the anser to that question I know my Husband, Father in law and husbands grandma are alwayz by my side.. 🙂
Assalamualaikum….there are many cases..not just 1..in sm the DIL is the problem and in sm MIL is the problem but for me I find the words very true : “the enslaved husband” na matar da ta yi kira da ita kuma ta fi kyau ga mummunar mijinta tare da mahaifiyarsa da mata ba za su iya zargin miji da kyau ba har abada saboda kyawun matar sa kuma ya zama makaho…Blati ya nuna ƙiyayya ga 'yar'uwarsa wacce take son shi koyaushe ta waye' .. Ya manta da kwanakin wahala da 'yan'uwa mata gaban aurensa….Ina fatan dan uwana farka ya karya wannan sarkar ƙiyayya…(matalauta na waka)…….Sm lokacin da shawarar Shd kuma za a ba mutane kamar yadda ba Becum bawa ba amma koyaushe yana yin hukunci tare da kyawawan idanu….Amma marubutan suna tunanin wannan ba kuskurensa bane…having wife naturally makes him slave and there is nothing wrong with it…La haula wala Quwata illa billah
It’s like mother in laws have set a status for themselves with almost 9 daga 10 aure. It is really bad and I make dua that this changes or people change there mindsets of thinking. We do not have to hurt one another or another person. Its usually a reflection of the hurtful persons own inner emotion or torment that they ill treat the next. Astaghfirullaah. May Allah SWT place contentment in their hearts
Assalamu alaikum,
It is surprising to come across this article now as I am going thru a crisis in my life caused by the difficult relationship with my mum in law. Na fahimci cewa 'yar da dokoki na iya haifar da matsala ta hanyar samun kuɗi game da mazajensu da ƙoƙarin ceton su don kansu yayin mantawa da mijinsu ɗan fari ne.
Na yi aure yayin gaya wa kaina cewa ina buƙatar tunawa da hakan. Amma na san cewa dokar mahaifiyata tana samun gasa sosai kuma yayin da nake shekarun 'yarta take da ƙoƙarin gasa tare da ni a kowane abu guda kuma yanzu ta damu. Yanzu da nake ƙoƙarin watsi da duk waɗannan ƙoƙarin da ta zama mai saurin kaiwa ta hanyar kai hari da cin mutuncin da ta dace yayin da babu wanda ya kusa. Wannan ya shafi ni kuma yanzu ya shafi dangantakata da sauran a cikin dokoki. I am scared for myself as now we have a child. I ask Allah for help and now I have started a mum-in law Journal where I write the abuse which I am hearing everyday from her. It is helpful.It helps me channel my anger and not to take it out on my poor husband. I have told him too about the situation but there is lil the poor guy could do. So I really turn to Allah and ask Him to help me in this situation.
To the Writer/ Pure Matrimony,
There is a solution to this problem! and that is the Husband must learn to keep the relationship between his mother and wife in a good and stable form. The best thing to do is for the husband to talk with his mother from the beginning and tell her how much he respects her, and try to clear any illusions she might have in the future, but mention the fact that she is his mother and her daughter in law will be his Wife! that he loves and respects both of them as much as they are supposed to be loved and respected because they are two different people taking two very distinct positions/roles/statuses in his life.
The husband must obey his mother, and the daughter in law must obey her husband ONLY if what’s commanded does not harm the daughter in law. ONLY if it is ethical, and the wife must respect her mother in law, but should also be consulted to make sure she and her family is respected and treated well like a human being.
Allah(swt) clearly describes it in the Quran:
“Ya ku wadanda suka yi imani! obey Allah and obey the Messenger (Muhammad, Allah ya albarkace shi, Ka ba shi kwanciyar hankali), da wadanda daga gare ku (Musulmi) waɗanda suke cikin iko. (Kuma) Idan kun banbanta da wani abu daga cikinku, Ku ambata zuwa ga Allah da ManzonSa (Amincin Allah ya tabbata a gare shi), Idan kun yi imani da Allah da kuma ranar ƙarshe. Wannan ne mafi alh andri, kuma mafi kyau ga hukuncin ƙarshe.” (4:14)
“(58) Kuma Mun yi wasiyya da mutum, da taƙawa; Amma idan sun yi ƙoƙari su sa ku shiga tare da ni (A cikin bauta) komai (A matsayin abokin tarayya) wanda ba ku da ilimi, Sai ku yi masu ba da biyayya. Zuwa gare Ni makõmarku take kuma zan bã ku abin da kuka kasance kuna aikatãwa.. ” (29:58)
-Don azabtar da matarsa / 'yarsa a cikin doka / ko wani mutum ba shi da yarda a cikin Islama, Saboda haka idan mijin ya ci gaba da cutar da matarsa domin mahaifiyarsa tana gaya masa, Sannan zai kasance tare da shi da Allah(swt) NOT following Allah(swt), astaghfirullah.
To the wife, she must understand that her husband has other things to do rather than sit at home and solve arguments. She must understand that her mother in law will never be able to treat her as good like she is treating her mother in law, because her mother in law is OLD and she has more health/psychological problems to take care. So just like we take care of children when they’re young, we should also take care of our elders as it says in Quran that old people become as weak as children. The Daughter in law must have a lot of patience to begin with. The husband must also talk to his wife to explain his mothers situation. If he says it in a loving way, she will work harder to get more and more of his love. The husband must also understand that the way he treats his wife’s family members is how his wife should treat his mother/family. If he doesn’t like that type of treatment then he should start being nice to his wife’s family members.
Da gaske,
Sociologist 8)
Sannu,
Hi am Faranaz and i will get marid soon In Shaa Allah in December.
And i want to know one thing, i really want to choose my kitchen items and some thing for my room and i told my fiance.My Mum in law passed away 2 years ago and i do not know her.
Now My sister in law want to select all the thing that i need and i really do not want that. and by stressing like that my blood had drop down and i was ill and still on medication. In really want to live in a love and peace relationship but i want to chose my own thing. Every time i told my fiance i want something (which happen rarely) they will try to convince him that this is not good or the color does not suit.
To be frank my fiancee really love me a lot and he try to be patience with us and it is me who has no back up every time.
I want to be a good wife and a good sister in law.
Don Allah a taimake ni.
Kruda Hafiz
Gaisuwa,
Now tht this has been brought up i want to know what can be done about one very irritating, jealous, obsessed mother in law, who cant stand me n is constantly backbiting abt me for 7 shekaru yanzu. All i could do is stay out of her way. I hear her talkin abt me almost everyday , shes someone who constantly loves gainin sympathy of anyone she gets by telling people tht no one gives a shit abt her. Is this my fault tht she never liked me in the first place , n slowly n gradually not a single member in my husbands family talk to me because of this image ruining habit of her? I have stopped talkin to her and stay in my portion cuz i have tried everythin i could in the previous years but she is so truely obsessed with wat i do, why i go out with her son, why we are happy, how many grocery packets we bring. She has convinced ppl around tht we are having a beautiful life while she is rotting, thou u can understand tht is not the case. I just dont stand her now…sorry to say..i just dont know how to solve this. Currently i am emotionally n mentally disturbed..i also have a 3 years old son.