שתף זאת
What are a wife’s rights on her husband according the Quran and Sunnah? Or what are a husbands duties to his wife and vice versa?
Praise be to Allaah.
Islam has enjoined upon the husband duties towards his wife, and vice versa, and among these duties are some which are shared by both husband and wife.
We will mention – by the help of Allaah – some of the texts of the Qur’aan and Sunnah which have to do with the duties of the spouses towards one another, quoting also from the commentaries and views of the scholars.
The rights of the wife which are hers alone:
The wife has financial rights over her husband, which are the mahr (dowry), spending and accommodation. And she has non-financial rights, such as fair division between co-wives, being treated in a decent and reasonable manner, and not being treated in a harmful way by her husband.
1. Financial rights
(a)The mahr (dowry). This is the money to which the wife is entitled from her husband when the marriage contract is completed or when the marriage is consummated. It is a right which the man is obliged to pay to the woman. Allaah says (פרשנות של המשמעות):
“And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart” [al-Nisaa’ 4:4]
The prescription of the mahr demonstrates the seriousness and importance of the marriage-contract, and is a token of respect and honour to the woman.
The mahr is not a condition or essential part of the marriage-contract, according to the majority of fuqahaa’; rather it is one of the consequences of the contract. If the marriage-contract is done without any mention of the mahr, it is still valid, according to the consensus of the majority, because Allaah says (פרשנות של המשמעות):
“There is no sin on you, if you divorce women while yet you have not touched (had sexual relation with) them, nor appointed unto them their Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)” [אל-בכרה 2:236]
The fact that divorce is permitted before consummation of the marriage or before stipulating the mahr indicates that it is permissible not to stipulate the mahr in the marriage-contract.
If the mahr is stipulated, it becomes obligatory upon the husband; if it is not stipulated, then he must give the mahr that is given to women of similar status to his wife.
(b)Spending. The scholars of Islam are agreed that it is obligatory for husbands to spend on their wives, on the condition that the wife make herself available to her husband. If she refuses him or rebels, then she is not entitled to that spending.
The reason why it is obligatory to spend on her is that the woman is available only to her husband, because of the marriage contract, and she is not allowed to leave the marital home except with his permission. So he has to spend on her and provide for her, and this is in return for her making herself available to him for his pleasure.
What is meant by spending is providing what the wife needs of food and accommodation. She has the right to these things even if she is rich, because Allaah says (פרשנות של המשמעות):
“but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis” [אל-בכרה 2:233]
“Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allaah has given him” [al-Talaaq 65:7]
From the Sunnah:
הנביא (שלום וברכות אללה עליו) said to Hind bint ‘Utbah – the wife of Abu Sufyaan – who had complained that he did not spend on her: “Take what is sufficient for you and your children, on a reasonable basis.”It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: “Hind bint ‘Utbah, the wife of Abu Sufyaan, entered upon the Messenger of Allaah (שלום וברכות אללה עליו) ואמר, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, Abu Sufyaan is a stingy man who does not spend enough on me and my children, except for what I take from his wealth without his knowledge. Is there any sin on me for doing that?’ The Messenger of Allaah (שלום וברכות אללה עליו) אמר, ‘Take from his wealth on a reasonable basis, only what is sufficient for you and your children.’” (מסופר על ידי אל-בוכארי, 5049; מוסלמי, 1714)
It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allaah (שלום וברכות אללה עליו) said in his Farewell Sermon:
“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [כְּלוֹמַר, not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner” (מסופר על ידי מוסלמי, 1218)
(ג) Accommodation. This is also one of the wife’s rights, which means that her husband should prepare for her accommodation according to his means and ability. Allaah says (פרשנות של המשמעות):
“Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell, according to your means” [al-Talaaq 65:6]
2. Non-financial rights
(אני) Fair treatment of co-wives. One of the rights that a wife has over her husband is that she and her co-wives should be treated equally, if the husband has other wives, with regard to nights spent with them, spending and clothing.
(ii)Kind treatment. The husband must have a good attitude towards his wife and be kind to her, and offer her everything that may soften her heart towards him, because Allaah says (פרשנות של המשמעות):
“and live with them honourably” [al-Nisaa’ 4:19]
“And they (נשים) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable” [אל-בכרה 2:228]
From the Sunnah:
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (אללה יהיה מרוצה ממנו) אמר: “The Messenger of Allaah (שלום וברכות אללה עליו) אמר: ‘Be kind to women.’”(מסופר על ידי אל-בוכארי, 3153; מוסלמי, 1468).
There follow examples of the kind treatment of the Prophet (שלום וברכות אללה עליו) towards his wives – for he is the best example:
1. It was narrated from Zaynab bint Abi Salamah that Umm Salamah said: “I got my menses when I was lying with the Prophet (שלום וברכות אללה עליו) under a single woollen sheet. I slipped away and put on the clothes I usually wore for menstruation. The Messenger of Allaah (שלום וברכות אללה עליו) said to me, ‘Have you got your menses?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ Then he called me and made me lie with him under the same sheet.”
היא אמרה: And she told me that the Prophet (שלום וברכות אללה עליו) used to kiss her when he was fasting, והנביא (שלום וברכות אללה עליו) and I used to do ghusl to cleanse ourselves from janaabah from one vessel.(מסופר על ידי אל-בוכארי, 316; מוסלמי, 296)
2. It was narrated that ‘Urwah ibn al-Zubayr said: “ ‘Aa’ishah said: ‘By Allaah, I saw the Messenger of Allaah (שלום וברכות אללה עליו) standing at the door of my apartment when the Abyssinians were playing with their spears in the Mosque of the Messenger of Allaah (שלום וברכות אללה עליו). He covered me with his cloak so that I could watch their games, then he stood there for my sake until I was the one who had had enough. So you should appreciate the fact that young girls like to have fun.’” (מסופר על ידי אל-בוכארי, 443; מוסלמי, 892)
3. It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah the Mother of the Believers (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Messenger of Allaah (שלום וברכות אללה עליו) used to pray sitting down; he would recite Qur’aan when he was sitting down, then when there were thirty or forty aayahs left, he would stand up and recite them standing up. Then he did rukoo’, then sujood; then he would do likewise in the second rak’ah. When he had finished his prayer, he would look, and if I was awake he would talk with me, and if I was asleep he would lie down.
(מסופר על ידי אל-בוכארי, 1068)
(ג) Not harming one’s wife.
This is one of the basic principles of Islam. Because harming others is haraam in the case of strangers, it is even more so in the case of harming one’s wife.
It was narrated from ‘Ubaadah ibn al-Saamit that the Messenger of Allaah (שלום וברכות אללה עליו) ruled, “There should be no harming nor reciprocating harm.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah,, 2340)
This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by Imaam Ahmad, al-Haakim, Ibn al-Salaah and others. See Khalaasat al-Badr al-Muneer, 2/438.
Among the things to which the Lawgiver drew attention in this matter is the prohibition of hitting or beating in a severe manner.
It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allaah (שלום וברכות אללה עליו) said in his Farewell Sermon:
“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [כְּלוֹמַר, not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner” (מסופר על ידי מוסלמי, 1218)
שנית:
The husband’s rights over his wife.
The rights of the husband over his wife are among the greatest rights; indeed his rights over her are greater than her rights over him, because Allaah says (פרשנות של המשמעות):
“And they (נשים) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them [אל-בכרה 2:228]
al-Jassaas said: Allaah tells us in this aayah that each of the spouses has rights over the other, and that the husband has one particular right over his wife which she does not have over him.
Ibn al-‘Arabi said: this text states that he has some preference over her with regard to rights and duties of marriage.
These rights include:
(a) The obligation of obedience. Allaah has made the man a qawwaam (protector and maintainer) of the woman by commanding, directing and taking care of her, just as guardians take care of their charges, by virtue of the physical and mental faculties that Allaah has given only to men and the financial obligations that He has enjoined upon them. Allaah says (פרשנות של המשמעות):
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]
‘Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbaas: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women” means, they are in charge of them, כְּלוֹמַר, she should obey him in matters of obedience that Allaah has enjoined upon her, and obey him by treating his family well and taking care of his wealth. This was the view of Muqaatil, al-Saddi and al-Dahhaak.(Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/492)
(b) Making herself available to her husband. One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that he should be able to enjoy her (פיזית). If he marries a woman and she is able to have intercourse, she is obliged to submit herself to him according to the contract, if he asks her. That is after he gives her the immediate mahr, and gives her some time – two or three days, if she asks for that – to sort herself out, because that is something that she needs, and because that is not too long and is customary.
If a wife refuses to respond to her husband’s request for intercourse, she has done something haraam and has committed a major sin, unless she has a valid shar’i excuse such as menses, obligatory fasting, sickness, וכו.
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (אללה יהיה מרוצה ממנו) אמר: “The Messenger of Allaah (שלום וברכות אללה עליו) אמר: ‘When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he went to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning.’” (מסופר על ידי אל-בוכארי, 3065; מוסלמי, 1436)
(ג)Not admitting anyone whom the husband dislikes. One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that she should not permit anyone whom he dislikes to enter his house.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (אללה יהיה מרוצה ממנו) that the Messenger of Allaah (שלום וברכות אללה עליו) אמר: “It is not permitted for a woman to fast when her husband is present without his permission, or to admit anyone into his house without his permission. And whatever she spends (in charity) of his wealth without his consent, ….” (מסופר על ידי אל-בוכארי, 4899; מוסלמי, 1026)
It was narrated from Sulaymaan ibn ‘Amr ibn al-Ahwas: my father told me that he was present at the Farewell Pilgrimage (Hujjat al-Wadaa’) with the Messenger of Allaah (שלום וברכות אללה עליו). הוא [הנביא (שלום וברכות אללה עליו)] praised and glorified Allaah, then he preached a sermon and said: “Treat women kindly, for they are prisoners and you have no other power over them than that, if they are guilty of open lewdness, then refuse to share their beds, and hit them, but not severely. But if they return to obedience, (לאחר מכן) do not seek means (of annoyance) against them. You have rights over your women and your women have rights over you. Your rights over your women are that they should not let anyone whom you dislike sit on your bed and they should not let anyone whom you dislike enter your house. Their rights over you are that you should feed and clothe them well.”
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1163 – he said this is a saheeh hasan hadeeth. Also narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1851)
It was narrated that Jaabir said: [הנביא] (שלום וברכות אללה עליו) אמר:
“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [כְּלוֹמַר, not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner” (מסופר על ידי מוסלמי, 1218)
(d)Not going out of the house except with the husband’s permission. One of the rights of the husband over his wife is that she should not go out of the house except with his permission.
The Shaafa’is and Hanbalis said: she does not have the right to visit (אֲפִילוּ) her sick father except with the permission of her husband, and he has the right to prevent her from doing that… because obedience to the husband is obligatory, and it is not permitted to neglect an obligatory action for something that is not obligatory.
(e)Discipline. The husband has the right to discipline his wife if she disobeys him in something good, not if she disobeys him in something sinful, because Allaah has enjoined disciplining women by forsaking them in bed and by hitting them, when they do not obey.
The Hanafis mentioned four situations in which a husband is permitted to discipline his wife by hitting her. אלו הם: not adorning herself when he wants her to; not responding when he calls her to bed and she is taahirah (pure, כְּלוֹמַר, not menstruating); not praying; and going out of the house without his permission.
The evidence that it is permissible to discipline one’s wife includes the aayahs (פרשנות של המשמעות):
“As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct, להזהיר אותם (ראשון), (הַבָּא) מסרבים לחלוק את מיטותיהם, (ואחרון) beat them (בקלילות, אם זה שימושי)” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]
“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones” [al-Tahreem 66:6]
Ibn Katheer said:
Qutaadah said: you should command them to obey Allaah, and forbid them to disobey Allaah; you should be in charge of them in accordance with the command of Allaah, and instruct them to follow the commands of Allaah, and help them to do so. If you see any act of disobedience towards Allaah, then stop them from doing it and rebuke them for that.
This was also the view of al-Dahhaak and Muqaatil: that the duty of the Muslim is to teach his family, including his relatives and his slaves, that which Allaah has enjoined upon them and that which He has forbidden them. (Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 4/392)
(f)The wife serving her husband. There is a great deal of evidence (daleel) for this, some of which has been mentioned above.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:
She is obliged to serve her husband according to what is reasonable among people of similar standing. That varies according to circumstances: the way in which a Bedouin woman serves (her husband) will not be like the way of a town-dweller, and the way of a strong woman will not be like the way of a weak woman. (al-Fataawa al-Kubraa, 4/561)
(g)Submitting herself to him. Once the conditions of the marriage-contract have been fulfilled and it is valid, then the woman is obliged to submit herself to her husband and allow him to enjoy her (פיזית), because once the contract is completed, he is allowed in return to enjoy her, and the wife is entitled to the compensation which is the mahr.
(h)The wife should treat her husband in a good manner, because Allaah says (פרשנות של המשמעות):
“And they (נשים) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable” [אל-בכרה 2:228]
Al-Qurtubi said:
It was also narrated from him – i.e., Ibn ‘Abbaas – that this means: they have the right to good companionship and kind and reasonable treatment from their husbands just as they are obliged to obey the commands of their husbands.
And it was said that they have the right that their husbands should not harm them, and their husbands have a similar right over them. This was the view of al-Tabari.
Ibn Zayd said: You should fear Allaah concerning them just as they should fear Allaah concerning you.
The meanings are similar, and the aayah includes all of that in the rights and duties of marriage.(Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 3/123-124)
And Allaah knows best.
השייח' מוחמד סאלח אל-מונאג'יד
http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/10680
Bismillah ir rahman ir raheem..
JazakAllah khair for this Article. Truly beneficial.
Thank you 🙂
wa iyyakum brother
סלאם:
I am a bit disturbed by the posting of this article on the Pure Matrimony website. I think some of the hadiths and quranic verses are taken out of context and could be misunderstood. Under the heading of a Husband’s rights over their wives which mentions Discipline the article says that men are permitted to hit their wives if they disobey them in something good. By posting this you are telling brothers that it is okay to hit their wives. You fail to explain what kind of hitting is permissible. The hitting cannot leave any bruising or marks and really the hitting should be with something no heavier than a miswak/toothstick. A person who is not learned in the deen may think that beating their wife is okay anyhow they please. I would like it if you could place a clarifying posting to this article somewhere on your site as to not mislead brothers into thinking beating their wives is okay. Jezak Allah Khair for reading this. Masalaama sis. מרים
wa alaikum salam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barrakatuh
sister maryam im sad to say that while yes there are brothers who hit their wives and misstreat them in horrible ways there is no denying this matter allthough this article wasn’t about the misstreatment of wives or the “opression” of spouses male or female
it is a fatwa from a sheikh about the rights that he saw fit to mention according to the deen mentioning ayat and hadeeth
al hamdulillah our deen is fair and just to even the animals and any muslim who believes he may harm another unjustly especially a weaker being or a dependant is foolish and will meet great punishment with Allah
and this kind of actions isnt normally from being ignorant of the deen but from having weakness in controlling ones temper and falling weak to shaytaan in a time of anger
to be fair i have heard many times women hitting and beating their husbands subhan Allah and he stands there “like a woman” so obviously islam doesnt advocate violence to anyone but we dont wish to enter such issues as we would end up with a flood of questions that we dont have the time to attend to or knowledge inshaAllah we can spread some basic knowledge even if only 1 person benifets
also sister as this is from a fatwa as quoted the reference on the bottom i did not want toadd to the sheikhs work and im sorry that its deliverance wasnt to your liking inshaAllah you can benifet from other posts on the blog and keep advising and let us know what you are liking and dissliking so that we can correct our faults and short comings
as the reminder benfets the believer
and sister you are correct in your statements inshaAllah when i get the time i will sort out a post about the missunderstandings in this matter
may Allah reward you for your effort and increase us in knowledge that benifets Ameen
fi aminillah
wassalamu alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barrakatuh
Subhanallah sister, very good point made, may ALLAH(S.W.T.) guide us to perfection..
Please discuss in detail about discipline hitting your wife does not authorize a muslim man to beat his wife and bruise and slap and humiliate. Please talk about how the prophet (ר''ל) טיפל בנשותיו!
Ya this is a good illutration Alhamdulillah am very happy by reading it and it wide my little knowledge may Allah reward you my brother and may Allah increase our knowledge
may Allah increase us all in knowledge Ameen
aslam aleekom. sister maryam.. i agree with you…. i joined this page because I’m a muslima and i want to get knowledge about my religion and also my right in the islamic faith, and when i read about the hitting, i was kind of scared but at the same time. i will accept what Allah has for us women, because he is all knowing.. but i would like some reference about what you said about beating with “something no heavier than a miswak/toothstick” תודה (^_^)
Note 45 (Quran Ref: 4:34 ) From Yusuf ALi’s English translation of Holy Qua’ran 4:34::
It is evident from many authentic Traditions that the Prophet himself intensely detested the idea of beating one’s wife, and said on more than one occasion, “Could any of you beat his wife as he would beat a slave, and then lie with her in the evening?” (בוכרי ומוסלמי). According to another Tradition, he forbade the beating of any woman with the words, “Never beat God’s handmaidens” (Abu Da’ud, Nasa’i, אבן מג'ה, Ahmad ibn Hanbal, Ibn Hibban and Hakim, on the authority of Iyas ibn ‘Abd Allah; Ibn Hibban, on the authority of ‘Abd Allah ibn ‘Abbas; and Bayhaqi, on the authority of Umm Kulthum). When the above Qur’an-verse authorizing the beating of a refractory wife was revealed, the Prophet is reported to have said: “I wanted one thing, but God has willed another thing – and what God has willed must be best” (see Manar V, 74). With all this, he stipulated in his sermon on the occasion of the Farewell Pilgrimage, shortly before his death, that beating should be resorted to only if the wife “has become guilty, in an obvious manner, of immoral conduct”, and that it should be done “in such a way as not to cause pain (ghayr mubarrih)”; authentic Traditions to this effect are found in Muslim, טירמידי, Abu Da’ud, Nasa’i and Ibn Majah. On the basis of these Traditions, all the authorities stress that this “beating”, if resorted to at all, should be more or less symbolic – “with a toothbrush, or some such thing” (Tabari, quoting the views of scholars of the earliest times), or even “with a folded handkerchief” (Razi); and some of the greatest Muslim scholars (e.g., Ash-Shafi’i) are of the opinion that it is just barely permissible, and should preferably be avoided: and they justify this opinion by the Prophet’s personal feelings with regard to this problem.(Quran Ref: 4:34 )
***This note may be of some use to the author of this article as it gives sources for very authentic Hadith on this subject. But that is my humble opinion and ALLAH knows best.
jazak Allah khair sister
You always write what a woman should do to keep her man happy.
in this time and age women work as hard or more than a man, according to your site , the sole responsibility of keeping the marriage going falls on the woman.
I want to ask if family laws were made by Abu Hanifa, Malik, Humble (raa),made these family laws in the 10th century?, is the woman of the tenth century the same of the woman of the twentieth and twenty first century? Are the circumstances,
challenges etc. the same as then?
Is the man of now like the man of those centuries?
How come you are using the same references in the Shariaa law as then and no new Ijtehad has been made to accommodate the challenges of today.?
I am not saying that the Quran or Hadeeth should be changed , but the words of the four Sheikhs are carved in stone? Can they not be reinvented , falling under the rules of the Quran?
לדוגמה,now as I read that a man should discipline his wife, my blood boiled. How would I allow my husband who is probably less educated to beat or discipline me, in front of my children?Or otherwise? Where does my dignity go?
If a wife does everything that is required of her as a good Muslim wife should, ie takes care of the house, is chaste, cares for the husband, מנקה, brings up VERY decent children, looks good….and the husband decides to mistreat her , what is HIS punishment?How does the court punish HIM?
How is He allowed to get married for NO REASON, and if his wife falls ill? Is marriage only about SEX?
A woman can now provide herself with shelter, food, clothing herself, as her parents were doing before she got married, so why, exactly does she have to marry ? only for halal SEX?
Women now want a companion to treat them as true partners, give a meaning to life, share pains and joys of all ages, not just youth, so if not for halal reasons , and as you say he can feed her and she has to thank him etc, does she have to marry?
According to your site the only reason to marry would be for SEX. and get halal babies….. If this is marriage and I do not have a proper companion , but a Master then I would rather stay unmarried.
Thank you my sister, I absolutely share your point of view.Nowadays,it’s impossible not to accomodate the Hadeeth to our century!
Jezak Allah Khair Sis. Chantelle for these explanations May Allah reward you and assist all of us in understanding this deen better and living out our Islam properly! אמן.
A few more relevant ayas:
# 4:128 (Asad) And if a woman has reason to fear ill-treatment from her husband, or that he might turn away from her, it shall not be wrong for the two to set things peacefully to rights between themselves: for peace is best, and selfishness is ever-present in human souls. But if you do good and are conscious of Him – behold, God is indeed aware of all that you do.
7:189 (Asad) IT IS HE who has created you [את כל] out of one living entity, and out of it brought into being its mate, so that man might incline [with love] towards woman. [155] And so, when he has embraced her, she conceives [what at first is] a light burden, and continues to bear it. לאחר מכן, when she grows heavy [with child], they both call unto God, their Sustainer, “If Thou indeed grant us a sound [child], we shall most certainly be among the grateful!”
# 4:35 (Asad) And if you have reason to fear that a breach might occur between a [נָשׂוּי] זוּג, מנה פוסק מקרב עמו ופוסק מקרב עמה; אם שניהם רוצים לסדר את הדברים, אלוהים עשוי להביא לפיוסם. Behold, אלוהים אכן יודע כל, מוּדָע. –
אסלמו אלאיקום,agreed with sister asrar.we should accept,what Allah decided for us..But we have to understand the actual meaning of his words,.Because he is the best interpreter…אחיות, you will get all of ur answers only from his words.(koran).you have to read it again and again…to understand the actual meaning and this article is really beneficial.Though Laws are changing now-a-days,even in the Muslim countries.But we know Allah is the best Law maker.May Allah help us to gain knowledge and help us to understand his directions.
What happens to a man if he is in the wrong? The above mentions what happens to a woman if she refuses intamacy, but what if the husband does? What if the husband has extramarital affairs? Is the woman allowed to hit the husband with a toothpick?
מאשה אללה,
A good effort to educate the Muslims.I liked the question and answer session from sis Maryam who rightly said that it must be explained properly to make brothers understand the real message and the well enough response from sis Aisha. It reflects the true spirit of Islam.Keep on going! May Allah reward you for the deeds!Ammeen.Wassalam
I agree with Asad there. i too want to know if tere is any proper punishment prescribed for men if they are engaged in immoral conduct, and are not fulfilling their responsibilities towards their wife and family.
Assalamu alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barrakatuh
in these issues i advice my brothers and sisters to ask their local imam regarding the situation as al hamdulillah we as muslims have quran and sunnah and the hikmah of those who have knowledge
its easy to sit here and point fingers saying men do this and women do that but as muslims we should be critical of ourself so that when we meet Allah and its just ourself and our creator we would have done our best to correct ourself and not sat in our dunya worrying and looking at everyone else
im not saying brothers and sisters shouldnt ask questions mashaAllah its nice to see this on the blog but to generally answer such a question i wont be able to give haqq to the question and i dont have the knowledge to go into each individual situation
we know as muslims Allah will reward us and punnish us in this dunya and the akhirah i personally think the biggest punnishment on a husband is the dua of a opressed wife as when women are wronged their hearts are determined to help themself overcome such hurt and women being sensitive and emotional normally find it easier to cry to Allah and this helps in dua as the more sincerity and effort into a dua the more Allah will accept Allahu alem
inshaAllah in time i can address issues in marriages and family life but i can recomend searching on islam Q and A for fatwas as hes a sheikh and im not
i accept and respect everyones veiws and opinions and dont want any of you to stop mashaAllah i can learn from it and it helps me see whos into the blog and what i need to work on finding and putting together for the readers
may Allah increase us in knowledge ,ease our affairs and turn our hearts towards Him Ameen
wassalamu alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barrakatuh
thanks aishah for sharing the knowledge….
Wat if the wife supports the husband, an the husband cnt afford to look after his wife an child an asks money off his wife Wud it be the other way round
Asalaam Alaikum…..I would like to know of what is right or wrong in a situation where a husband does not provide for his family, rather the wife earns and spends her money on paying bills, mortgage, clothes etc. The husband does not even spend on the 2 children they have together. The wife is never aware of how much the Husband is earning and what he is doing with his money. He chooses not to spend much time with his wife and children and rather spends valuable time with his parents, brothers and sisters and friends. He does not eat meals at home, does not take the children out anywhere. So if he is not fulfilling his marital duties, what can the wife do in this situation?
wa alaikum salam wa Rahmatullah wa Barrakatuh
Sister I advice you to seek the asistance of Allah and to ask your local imam for advice inshaAllah this way a person who advices you will also be able to help with the problem as islam clealrly states the rights of husband and wife and when these rights arent being fulfilled or cant be met then we need a person of knowledge to step in and help the situation for 2 reasons
1 to try to advice them to fix up and to fear Allah or to motivate them to give eachother their rights as sometimes the haqq of another is taken by ignorance or the other isnt capable
2 to try to defuse any kind of arguement that may come as normally in these situations there is alot of hurt, bad memories , anger confusion .
sister make dua to Allah as He is the source of Help and i know it seems like a little or typical advice but asking from Allah is always the best answer to the question , trust in Him and keep up with your athkar and if Allah has written a way for you then no one can re direct you
i find if i say husbiya Allahu laa illaha illa huwa alayhi tawakaltu wa huwa Rabbil arshil atheem
this makes me feel much better
may Allah ease your affairs and grant you patience may He rectify your situation and bless you with happiness in this dunya and the akhirah Ameen
Thankyou very much for your advice Sister. יהי רצון אללה (S.W.T) Bless you and keep you happy….אמן. 🙂
I will InshaAllah seek advice from an Imam.
Islam Is The Name Of Peace Not Terrorist. Holly Quran Is The Syllabus, Our Prophet Hazrath Muhammad Mustofa Karim (ס:) Is The Teacher, Life Is The Examination, ALLAH Is The Examiner, So Try To Pass The Examination, The Beautiful Word Is “AL…LAH”‘ The Most Beautiful Song is “Azhan”.The Best Exercise Is “Namaz”. The World Perfect Book is”Quran”.So We Are Lucky. We Are a Muslim So My All Face Book Friends Invited Religion Of Islam.”Hazrat Aisha (ra) bornona koren, “Rasul (sm) er intekaler somoy obostha ei rup chilo j, tar (louho) bormoti jonoiko eehudir kache trish sa’ jober binimoye bondhok chilo.” “sei boro sastir purbe ami ei duniyate (kono na kono) choto sastir sad tader ke asadon korate thakbo, hoyto tara ( nijeder bidrohatrok niti theke) biroto hobe. Hazrat Abu Huraira (ra) bornona koren Rasul (sm) bolechen, j mohan sottar hate amar jeebon tar kosom! tomra jodi gunah na korte tahole ALLAH tomader tule niye jeten ebong tomader sthole emon ek jatike preron korten jara gunah kore ALLAHr kache kkhoma caito tarpor ALLAH kkhoma kore diten (muslim theke riyadus soliheen: 422)”For Muslim men and women, for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast, for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah’s praise, for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward.” (Sura Ahzab: 35)”They who believe and do not mix their belief with injustice – those will have security, and they are [rightly] guided.”And upon Allah is the direction of the [ימין] way, and among the various paths are those deviating.”(Sura An-Nahl 09). We have indeed created man in the best of moulds,Then do We abase him (to be) the lowest of the low,- Except such as believe and do righteous deeds: For they shall have a reward unfailing.[Surah At-Tin: 4-6]”And be not like those who forgot Allah, so He made them forget themselves. Those are the defiantly disobedient. Sura Hasar 19.O you who have believed, fear Allah. And let every soul look to what it has put forth for tomorrow. “אמר, “הו עבדי אשר עברו על עצמם [על ידי חטא], אל תתייאשו מרחמי אללה. אכן, Allah forgives all sins.”So remember Me; I will remember you. And be grateful to Me and do not deny Me.” (Sura Baqara: 152).אכן, זה הוא הסולח, הרחמן.”Sura Zumar 53 “.Iam Bangladeshi Sunni Muslim Man AGE 33 שנים. I Live In Bangladesh City In Dhaka.Reply This Message Am Waiting. בברכה,
Mohammad Ziaur Rahman.
Al-Quran & Al-Hadis All Over The World For Muslim & Non Muslim.
they are telling what men can do with women and what women do.
they arent telling what her rights are.
rename this article to “WHAT MEN CAN DO WITH THEIR WIVES, AND WHAT WIVES CANT DO”
all men are not the same. some men cant just stand and watch their wives cry while some are very terrible. they beat their wives like thief.
yes sister that is true but we should make dua for such people as we dont know the state of their heart with Allah as im sad many of my sisters in islam get hurt by their husbands we can only really make dua for them and advice the sister to have patience and tell the brothers to fear Allah and help them overcome why they have this issue in themself
As a muslim male, I agree with Tanweer. Why don’t any hadiths’s/teachings etc..call out what the punishment is for a male? If a husband cheats on his wife, beats her or does not fulfill his duties, you’re saying the only punishment is a wife’s dua to Allah? As powerful as that may be, we don’t call out the fact that a woman has the right to leave her husband through divorce. Why is that? I must say, that the view expressed in the article shows much favortism to males and less to female’s. I pray that no woman muslim or non-muslim has to pray to Allah for a less abusive husband.
I agree with you my brother, these articles never talk about punishment for males when they dont meet thei obligations, only women :-((
Assalam O Allaikum!
I am a muslima from Pakistan and I have been wondering about something and would like to ask few questions as:
ש. What if the husband is not praying five times a day and doing sinful thing then a wife is allowed to hit him for correction? Like the same way a husband is allowed to hit her wife when is not praying or not being obedient?
ש. Except Clothes and Accommodation, Is it possible for a wife to ask her husband for anything else which can be afforded by her husband? It can be anything! Perhaps asking for a fixed pocket money?
ש. Is it necessary for a wife to live with his husband’s parents and whether it is allowed for a wife to ask her husband for a separate accommodation or house?
ש. If a man does not allow his wife to attend her parents (Without any reason, just to tease her) then this act is considered as a good dead or a bad one?
No offense, but i suggest adding a facebook like button for the blog!
“One of the rights of the husband over his wife is that she should not go out of the house except with his permission.
The Shaafa’is and Hanbalis said: she does not have the right to visit (אֲפִילוּ) her sick father except with the permission of her husband, and he has the right to prevent her from doing that… because obedience to the husband is obligatory, and it is not permitted to neglect an obligatory action for something that is not obligatory.”
זֶה “חדית'” stating that a husband has the right over his wife to prevent her from visiting her own father is very weak and also classified as fabricated!!! I think you need to re-research some of your evidences before you start propagating the idea that women are to be totally obedient to their husbands as this was not the practice of the Prophet.Even beyond that, if Islam professes so many rights for women, how is it a man can limit those rights given to her by ALlah subhana wa ta’ala?? Husband wife relationships are mutual. In the beginning of the article, it is stated that harming some one is haram and then further down, it states that a husband can discipline his wife. Is she a child to be disciplined? In fact the interpretation of Surah Nisa verse 34 saying that a man may hit his wife is in total contradiction with the sunnah of the Prophet. If we study the meaning of dhuraba as used throughout the Quran, we will find that the Prophet only used to hit with force when he was in battle. למעשה, the Prophet said that whomever hits his wife is not from among the best of his nation. Note that dhuraba has many other applications and it is quite unfortunate that commentators have taken the element pertaining to actual physical beating in this verse.Please refer to this link for further insight: http://www.quran434.com/wife-beating-islam.html#part4 If we take this verse as disciplinary,
Violence will never bring peace to a household.
And then you go on to say that the right of the husband is for his wife to be obedient and even that it is obligatory! Could you please bring the evidence for this statement from sources that are Sahih. There is no blind obedience in Islam and as I stated above, marriage is a contract between two mutual parties; it is a group effort to maintain peace and tranquility within the marriage. לכן, there should be a form of shura occurring within the marriage in which it is give and take from both sides, not give on one side and take from the other. In not taking this post at face value but in fact, thinking about the statements made, one can see that there are many contradictions: No violence to others but then stating that its ok to beat/discipline ones wife. The statement referring to Surah Al-Baqarah 228 that a husband and wife share the same rights but a husband has a degree of responsibility (referring to qiwama) over his wife; so the commentary/interpretation has got it wrong in saying these two things(responsibility and obedience) are one and the same. Huge difference!
נו, regardless the standards of the remarks posted, whether we all agree/disagree on this issue, the summon factor in this issue I guess is “LEARN WHAT IS TRUE INORDER TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT”.
אחרי הכל, who doesn’t wish to live a peaceful and harmonic marriage life?!?
I dint like the answer at all. The person repeatedly emphasis on beating wife. Looks like the wife is a slave. Islam has given alot of respect for woman. This article if read by a bad husband who mistreats his wife will b very happy to read it and will get more support to worse his wife’s life even more. I request u to b careful next time because its not just me but many others who are not happy with ur answer.. May Allah help u in guiding us properly and help us make our life better not worse.
I fear i may cause some arguments here, but although i agree with everything, i also believe that women should be treated like princesses in the husbands house. She should never be hitting unless in extreme circumstances, and even then, a light chastisement only. Her sexual needs should also be fulfilled. She should be loved and accepted and protected and made to feel awesome, else wats the point?
It’s articles like this horrible one that push me further and further away from Islam. It makes me furious when I read things like this and see what the common Muslim view of Islam is, especially from a male stand point, and that people are going around promoting it even further (no wonder why the western world thinks Islam is such an oppressive, violent, דָת). To the author: If you are going to post such an extreme, biased article, then you better be prepared to answer your readers’ questions about it. You have no information to back up any of your ridiculous claims with, most of which sound fabricated to me. It is completely, completely irresponsible of you to publish this piece when you have no further knowledge about it to explain particular items in further detail. All you are doing is misleading others without even the option of clarification. “Ask your imam” isn’t clarification or the right answer, at all.
Based on this article HOW can anyone ever claim that men and women are equal in Islam. In even the most basic of principles, תְפִלָה, the two aren’t equal as they stand separated with the women behind the men, instead of separated with the women NEXT to the men…so why would anyone think that they would be equal in more major aspects of life, such as marriage. This article truly makes my blood boil with anger at the ignorance of the author. We MUST conform Islam to today’s modern world because many of the teachings simply do not and will not ever apply to our lives today. It is impossible to live the lifestyle of ancient centuries and replicate that behavior. I will NEVER teach my future children any of the barbaric thoughts of these so called “sheikhs” but instead only, only what is in the Quran. This article only boosts my plan to do so even more.
Beautiful point sister. I fully agree with you on this point esp regarding hitting the wife.