Zarao ity
Lahatsoratra hafa
Fanontaniana
ahos love before marriage better? Inona no marin-toerana kokoa amin'ny finoana silamo, fanambadiana fitiavana na fanambadiana voalamina?
Valio
Ao amin'ny helo ny ankamaroany.
Miankina amin’ny fanapahan-kevitra nialoha azy io resaka fanambadiana io. Raha tsy nandika ny fetra napetrak’i Allah ny fifankatiavana teo amin’ny roa tonta na nahatonga azy ireo hanota, dia misy ny fanantenana fa hilamina kokoa ny fanambadiana vokatry izany fitiavana izany, satria izany dia vokatry ny hoe samy te hanambady izy.
Raha misy lehilahy mahatsapa fanintonana amin'ny vehivavy iray izay azony hanambady azy, ary ny mifamadika amin’izany, tsy misy valiny ny olana afa-tsy ny fanambadiana. Ny Mpaminany (ny fiadanana sy ny fitahian'i Allah anie ho azy) nanao hoe:: “Tsy mihevitra izahay fa misy tsara kokoa ho an’ireo mifankatia noho ny fanambadiana.” (Notantarain’i Ibn Maajah, 1847; nosokajian'i al-Busayri ho sahih sy Shaykh al-Albani ao amin'ny al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 624)
Hoy i Al-Sindi, araka ny voamarika ao amin'ny Haamish Sunan Ibn Maajah:
Ilay andian-teny hoe “Heverinay fa tsy misy tsara kokoa ho an’izay mifankatia mihoatra noho ny fanambadiana” dia azo adika hoe roa na mihoatra ny roa.. Ny dikan'izany dia raha misy fitiavana eo amin'ny olona roa, izany fitiavana izany dia tsy azo ampitomboina na atao haharitra kokoa amin’ny zavatra toy ny fanambadiana. Raha misy ny fanambadiana toy izany koa ny fitiavana, izany fitiavana izany dia hitombo sy hihamatanjaka isan’andro.”
Fa raha izany fanambadiana izany dia vokatry ny firaisana ara-nofo tsy ara-dalàna, toy ny rehefa mifankahita sy mitokana ary mifanoroka, sy ny hetsika hafa tsy ara-dalàna, dia tsy hilamina mihitsy, satria nanao zavatra mifanohitra amin'ny sharee'ah izy ireo ary noho izy ireo nanorina ny fiainany tamin'ny zavatra izay hisy fiantraikany amin'ny fampihenana ny fitahiana sy ny fanohanana avy amin'i Allah., satria ny ota no tena zava-dehibe amin’ny fampihenana ny fitahiana, na dia mieritreritra aza ny sasany, noho ny bitsiky ny satana, fa ny fifankatiavana sy ny fanaovana asa ratsy no mampatanjaka ny fanambadiana.
Ary, ireo fifandraisana tsy ara-dalàna izay mitranga alohan'ny fanambadiana dia ho antony hampisalasala ny andaniny sy ny ankilany. Ny lehilahy dia hihevitra fa ny vadiny dia mety hanana fifandraisana mitovy amin'ny olon-kafa, ary na dia heveriny ho tsy azo inoana aza izany, mbola ho sahiran-tsaina ihany izy amin’ny hoe nanao zavatra tsy nety taminy ny vadiny. Ary mety hieritreritra toy izany koa ny vadiny, ary hihevitra izy fa mety hanao firaisana amin’ny vehivavy hafa ny vadiny, ary na dia heveriny ho tsy azo inoana aza izany, mbola ho sahiran-tsaina ihany izy amin’ny hoe nanao zavatra tsy nety taminy ny vadiny.
Noho izany dia hiaina ao anatin'ny fisalasalana sy ahiahy ny mpiara-miasa tsirairay, izay hanimba ny fifandraisany na ho ela na ho haingana.
Ny lehilahy dia mety hanameloka ny vadiny noho ny fanekena ny hifandray aminy alohan’ny fanambadiana, izay hahasosotra azy, ary hiharatsy ny fifandraisan'izy ireo izany.
Noho izany dia mihevitra isika fa raha ny fanambadiana dia mifototra amin'ny fifandraisana tsy ara-dalàna alohan'ny fanambadiana, azo inoana fa hikorontana ary tsy hahomby.
Mikasika ny fanambadiana voalamina izay isafidianan’ny fianakaviana ny vady, tsy tsara daholo fa tsy ratsy daholo. Raha manao safidy tsara ny fianakaviana ary ny vehivavy dia mpivavaka sy tsara tarehy, ary tia azy ny vadiny ka te hanambady azy, dia misy ny fanantenana fa hilamina sy hahomby ny fanambadian’izy ireo. Noho izany ny Mpaminany (ny fiadanana sy ny fitahian'i Allah anie ho azy) nampirisika ilay te hanambady mba hijery ilay vehivavy. Notantaraina avy amin'i al-Mughirah ibn Shu'bah fa nanolotra vady ho an'ny vehivavy izy, ary ny Mpaminany (ny fiadanana sy ny fitahian'i Allah anie ho azy) nanao hoe:, “Mandehana mijery azy, satria mety hiteraka fitiavana eo aminareo izany. (Notantarain'i al-Tirmidhi, 1087; nosokajian'i al-Nasa'i ho hasan, 3235)
Fa raha manao safidy ratsy ny fianakaviana, na manao safidy tsara izy ireo fa tsy manaiky izany ny vadiny, avy eo io fanambadiana io dia azo inoana fa ho voaozona ho amin'ny tsy fahombiazana sy ny tsy fandriam-pahalemana, satria ny fanambadiana izay mifototra amin'ny tsy fahampian'ny tombontsoa dia matetika tsy marin-toerana.
Ary i Allah no mahalala ny tsara indrindra.
Source: Islam Q&ny
Midira ao amin'ny pejy Facebook-nay azafady: www.facebook.com/purematrimony
i agree,my situation is this ive been married 2,i now met a beautiful,religous women an we so inlove i approachd da parents but the sed no cos i was married 2,they want 2 arrange a marriage 4 Amin’ny anaran’Andriamanitra,so wot i can say is some of our umah use the deen onli wen it suites them
seems like whoever replied to this is a very male oriented person. Islam gives women equal rights. It not always about women being beautiful and a man not liking the woman chosen for him. It can equally be the other way round.
Also another problem massively faced these days, two people like each other and want to get married right away, the families however have a lot of socio cultural demands which either leads to delaying a marriage or refusing to the proposal altogether. In many cases that i have seen, those in love dont stop and hence it leads to gunah. Their justification to it is that they wanted the right away and adopted it, their parents didnt. Its sad how there are these worldly requirements that leads to such serarios when the answer is simple and just needs cooperation from parents. I wonder if its right for either of the two in love to marry someone else chosen by their family whom they dont love. Loving someone else and being a spouse to someone else is again extremely wrong. May Allah guide us the right path and help us in such hardships!
Jazakallah
i agree with you, also Allah tells us that we have to obey our parents, but we shouldnt when they tell us something that ccontradicts with islam, for xample what if someone loves someone, and theyre both good muslims, and then the guys parents say oh no you cant marry her because shes not the same culture, there are no races in islam, Allah and the prophet told us that in an authentic hadith that no race is greater or bettter than another, and in the Quran “And we have made you into different tribes so that you may know one another” If marriage was based on culture why didn’t the prophet sallalahu alaihi wa salam ever say in a hadith “you should marry from your own race because it will be easier on you”, it just makes me so upset and tired to hear this kind of stuff that culture is a barrier for marriage, i never thought it would even be a prerequisite, culture is nothing its your language where you were born what kind of food you eat and thats it, some muslims these days just block out deen when it comes to marraige and look at culture
@sana: i like your comment and the question posed by you…. well i will not go too deep in details but in short the solution is we need to educate ourself about what our deen (ny finoana silamo) hoy i: Which is what Allah SWT commands us and what Prophet Muhammad PBUH has guided us….
If we follow it then there would not be such issues…. but the matter fact is that we dont have time for learning our Deen….
May Allah SWT guide us all to the righteous path….
@sana
I will answer about the last part, where u were wondering, If two people who were in love with each other, should marry some one else ( presumably of their parents choice ), TSARA, I will answer you through Qur’an
Chap 2 Vrs 235 – ”
And there is no sin on you if you make a hint of betrothal or conceal it in yourself, Allah knows that you will remember them ”
Notice the part where Allah says, Allah knows that you will remember them ”
To put it simply, I think, its clear that if you love some1, you propose to them and you should try and marry them, by this verse.
Aoa.
@ Salman Ibn Ahmed
I just wanted to say that the ayah from the Quran that you have quoted here does not apply to this situation. If you read the whole ayah and the ayah before it too, you will know that this ayah refers specifically to the women who are in the period of iddat ie mourning after their husband has passed away. It is instruction for a man who sees this woman, or hears about her and would like to propose to her.
ary i Allah no mahalala ny tsara indrindra.