Farshaxanka Isgaadhsiinta…

Xiriirka ka dhexeeya ninka iyo naagtiisa ayaa fure u ah dhisidda mid waara, xiriir farxad iyo caafimaad leh. La'aanteed, waxaa jira xiisad joogto ah oo ka dhex jirta guurka, with neither husband nor wife happy with one another.

Of all the things that are most responsible for keeping two people together, communication would be the glue that holds the relationship together and means that it’s essential for a husband and wife to understand one another if they are to be happy.

While many people will point to lots of reasons why marriages breakdown, the majority of marriages actually fail when the lines of communication between partners has irrevocably broken down. So how do you ensure you have good communication between husband and wife in the first place?

When searching for your life partner, you should ensure at least the following if you want your marriage to survive beyond just ‘ok’…

1. Similar personalities – forget the saying ‘opposites attract’, the truth is that if you are outgoing and your partner is not, it’s going to cause problems. If you’re loud and bubbly and your partner is shy and reserved, it will cause problems. Always look for someone who has similar characteristics to yourself, or at least complementary characteristics to yourself.
2. Similar cultural backgrounds – cross-cultural marriages rarely work out successfully because the differences get in the way. This is particularly true when two people from different countries marry. Cultural differences can make it difficult to get on with the person or understand their views fully.
3. Similar levels of intellect – this one might not be so obvious, but marriages where one person is highly intelligent and the other is not can result in a lot of problems. Intelligence is not the same as education – since a person doesn’t have to educated to be intelligent. Si kale haddii loo dhigo, you should think along the same wavelength or it can be a major source of problems for you.
4. Willingness to talk – marriages where partners are open and honest and able to talk about problems when they arise are inevitably more successful than marriages where the other person refuses to speak. When issues arise, it is always best to talk them through rather than bury your head in the sand.
5. Share the same vision – when two people in a marriage have a similar vision for what they want from their life and how they want their life to pan out, the chances of their success are very high. Marriages in which both partners have their own ideas and want to completely do their own thing rarely last.
6. Shared interests and hobbies – marriages in which partners are able to share their interests and hobbies are always going to be more fulfilling than marriages which don’t. There’s a little known saying which states that ‘couples which play together, stay together’ and this is most certainly true!
7. Sharing the same religious values – this is essential to the success of a marriage. When one person is practicing and the other is not, it rarely works out. Having the same religious beliefs means there’s no chance of conflict.
8. Similar family backgrounds – another vital point is that families should be similar, especially if they will be spending a lot of time together! Nothing is worse than families which have nothing in common – it can cause conflict and problems.

These are just some of the factors you should consider before you marry someone to ensure you have good communication after marriage. Insha’Allah with time, effort and understanding, your marriage can really flourish into something wonderful!

Guurka daahirka ah…

….Halka uu ku-dhaqanku kaamil ka dhigo

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