Mjetet e tregtisë për një martesë të lumtur

Nga Martesa e pastër - dhjetor, 2nd 2011

Mjetet e tregtisë për një martesë të lumtur

All praise is due to Allah, Ai që tha në ajetet e qarta të Librit të Tij:

“Dhe prej shenjave të Tij është edhe kjo, se Ai krijoi për ju bashkëshorte nga mesi juaj, që ju të mund të banoni në qetësi me ta, dhe Ai ka vënë dashuri dhe mëshirë mes jush (zemrat): Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect”.[al-Room 30:21]

May the prayers and peace of Allah be upon His Prophet Muhammad, the one who said in an authenticated hadith :

“Marry the loving and fertile, for I will compete with the other Prophets with the number of my followers on the Day of Qiyama”.

[Ahmad and at-Tabaarani with hasan isnaad. And declared saheeh from Anas by Ibn Hibbaan. And it has witnesses which will be mentioned in Question 19]

After this opening: There are in Islam, certain etiquettes upon anyone who marries and wishes to consummate his marriage with his wife. Most Muslims today, even those who exert themselves in Islamic worship, have either neglected or become totally ignorant of these Islamic etiquettes. Prandaj, I decided to write this beneficial treatise clearly explaining these issues on the occasion of marriage of someone dear to me. I hope that it will be an aid to him and to other believing brothers in carrying out what the Chief of the Messengers has ordained on the authority of the Lord of the Worlds. I have followed that by pointing out certain issues important to every one who marries, and with which many wives in particular have been tested.

I ask Allah Most High to bring about some benefit from this treatise, and to accept this work solely for His glorious countenance. me siguri, He is the Righteous, i Mëshirshmi.

It should be known that there are many etiquettes in the area of marriage. All that I am concerned with here in this quickly compiled work is that which is authenticated of the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad, that which is irreproachable from the standpoint of its chain of narration and upon which no doubt can be cast in terms of its constructions and meanings. Në këtë mënyrë, whoever reads and follows this information will be on a clearly established basis in religion, and will have full confidence in the source and validity of his acitons. I hope for him that Allaah will put the final seal of felicity on his life, in reward for beginning his married life with the following of the sunnah, and to make for him among His slaves whose statement He has described in the Qur’an saying:

And those who pray, “Zoti ynë! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous.” [el-Furkan 25:74]

The final disposition of things is for those of pious practise, as the Lord of the Worlds said:

As to the Righteous, they shall be amidst (cool) shades and springs (of water). Dhe (they shall have) fruits, – all they desire. “Eat ye and drink ye to your heart’s content: for that ye worked (righteousness).” Thus do We certainly reward the Doers of Good. [al-Mursalaat 77:41-44]

The following then, are those etiquettes:

1. Kindness toward your wife when you wish to enter into her

It is desirable, when one goes into his wife on his wedding night, to show her kindness, such as presenting her with something to drink, etj. This is found in the hadith narrated by Asmaa’ bint Yazid ibn As-Sakan who said: “I beautified ‘As’ishah for Allaah’s Messenger, then called him to come to see her unveiled. He came, sat next to her, and brought a large cup of milk from which he drank. Pastaj, he offered it to ‘Aa’ishah, but she lowered her head and felt shy. I scolded her and said to her: “Take from the hand of the Prophet.” She then took it and drank some. Pastaj, the Prophet said to her, “Give some to your companion.” Në atë pikë, thashe: “O i Dërguari i Allahut, rather take it yourself and drink, and then give it to me from your hand.” He took it, drank some, and then offered it to me. I sat down and put it on my kness. Pastaj, I began rotating it and following it with my lips in order that I might hit the spot from which the Prophet had drunk. Pastaj, the Prophet said about some women who were there with me: “Give them some.” Por, they said: “We don’t want it.” (dmth. we are not hungry). Pejgamberi tha: “Do not combine hunger and fibbing!”

[Ahmad and al-Humaidi. Ahmad reports it with 2 isnaads – one of which supports the other, and it is supported…]”

2. Placing your hands on your wife’s head and praying for her

The husband should, at the time of consummating the marriage with his wife or before that, place his hand on the front part of her head, mention the name of Allah Most High, and pray for Allah’s blessings. As in the statement of the Prophet: “When any of you marries a woman … he should hold her forelock, mention Allah Most High, and pray for His blessings saying: “O Allah, I ask You for the good in her and the good with which You have created her, and I seek refuge in You from the evil in her and the evil with which You have created her.” {Allaahumma innee as’aluka min khairiha wa khairi maa jabaltaha ‘alaihi wa a’oodhubika min sharriha wa sharri maa jabaltaha ‘alaihi}

[Aboo Dawood and others. Al-Bukhari in “Af’aalul-‘Ibaad”, Ebu Davud, Ibn Maxhe |, el-Hakim, al-Baihaqee and Aboo Ya’laa with hasan isnaad …]

3. The praying of husband and wife together

It is desirable for the husband and wife to pray 2 rakaat together on their wedding night. This has been narrated from the earliest generation of Muslims, as in the following 2 narrations:

Së pari: On the authority of Abu Sa’eed Mawla Abu Asyad who said: “I got married while I was a slave. I invited a number of the companions of the Prophet, among them was Ibn Mas’ood, Abu Dharr and Hudhaifa. When the prayer was called, Abu Dharr began to step forward when the others said to him: ‘No!’ tha ai: ‘Is it so?’ And they said: ‘Yes.’ Pastaj, I stepped forward and led the prayer though I was a slave possessed. They taught me, duke thënë: ‘When your wife comes to you, lutuni 2 rakaat. Pastaj, ask Allaah for the good of that which has come to you, and seek refuge in Him from its evil. Then it is up to you and it is up to your wife.'” [Ibn Abi Shaibah and ‘Abdur-Razzaaq]

Së dyti: On the authority of Shaqeeq who said: “A man named Abu Hareez came and said: ‘I have married a young girl, and I am afraid that she will despise me.’ ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood said to him: “Vërtet, closeness is from Allaah, and hatred is from Shaitaan, who wishes to make despicable that which Allaah has allowed. Kështu që, when your wife comes to you, tell her to pray behind you 2 rakaat.'” In another version of the same story, “‘Abdullah went on to say: ‘And say: ‘O Allah give Your blessings on me in my wife, and to her in me. O Allaah join us together as long as You join us in good, and split us apart if You send to us that which is better.'” [Ibn Abi Shaibah and at-Tabaraani and ‘Abdur-Razzaaq: Sahih].

4. What to say at the time of making Love

When a Muslim man is about to enter his wife, he should always say first:

Bismillahi, Allahumma jannibnaa ash-shaitaan, wa jannib ash-shaitaan maa razaqtanna [Në emër të Allahut, O Allah, keep us away from the devil, and keep the devil away from that which You may grant us (dmth. offspring).]

About this, tha Profeti: “After that, if Allah decrees that they will have a child, the devil will never be able to harm that child”. [al-Bukharee][1]

FOOTNOTE:

[Some Scholars say that children are disobedient to their parents usually because the parents forget/forgot to say the above duaa before having sex. Ed. of Salaf- us-Salih Page]

5. How he should come to her

It is allowed for a Muslim man to enter his wife in her vagina from any direction he wishes – nga mbrapa ose nga përpara. About this Allaah revealed the following verse:

“Your wives are a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will” [el-Bekare 2:223]

There are also various hadith on this subject, of which I will give only 2:

On the authority of Jaabir who said: “The Jews used to say that if a man entered his wife in the vagina but from behind, their child would be cross-eyed! Then Allaah revealed the verse: “Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;” [el-Bekare 2:223]. Pejgamberi tha : “From the front or the back, as long as it is in the vagina”. [Al-Bukharee and Muslim]

On the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas who said: “The Ansaar, who had been polytheists, lived with the Jews, who were people of the book. The former viewed the latter as being superior to them in knowledge, and used to follow their example in many things. The people of the book would only make love to their wives from the side, this being the most modest way for the woman, and the Ansaar had followed their example in that. These people from the Quraish, ne anen tjeter, used to expose their women in an uncomely manner. They took pleasure in them from the front, from the back, or laid out flat. When the Makkans came to al- Madeenah at the time of the Hijrah, one of them married a woman from among the Ansaar, and began doing that with her. She disapproved of it and told him: “We used only to be approached from the side, so do that or stay away from me!” This dispute became very serious until it reached the ears of the Prophet. So Allaah, revealed the verse: “Your wives are as a tilth unto you, so approach your tilth when or how ye will;” [el-Bekare 2:223] (dmth. from the front, the back, or laid out flat). What is meant here is the entry which produces children.” [Ebu Davud, al-Haakim and others: Hasan isnaad and is supported].

6. The Prohibition of Sodomy

It is forbidden for a Muslim man to enter his wife in her anus. This is understood from the verse quoted above (d.m.th. since a “planting ground” can only refer to a place where something might grow), and from the narrations cited above. There are also other hadith on the subject, among them:

Së pari: On the authority of Umm Salama who said: “When the Muhajireen came to Ansaar at al-Madeenah, some of them married women from the Ansaar. The women of the Muhajireen used to lie on their faces (during intercourse), while the women of the Ansaar never did it that way. Pastaj, one of the men of the Muhajireen wanted his wife to do that. She refused until such time as she could ask the Prophet about it. She went to the Prophet but was embarassed to ask the question, adn so Umm Salama asked him. Then the verse was revealed which says: “Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;” [el-Bekare 2:223]. Profeti> tha: “Nr! (not any way you wish) Except in one opening! (dmth. the vagina)”. [Ahmedi, et-Tirmidhi dhe të tjerët : Sahih]

Së dyti: On the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas who said: “‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaab came to the Prophet and said: ‘O i Dërguari i Allahut, I am destroyed!’ The Prophet asked: ‘And what has destroyed you, Omeri?’ ‘Umar said: `I turned my mount around last night.’ (An expression which means he has sexual intercourse with his wife penetrating the vagina while mounting her from the rear.) The Prophet gave him no answer and when the revelation came and the verse was revealed which says: “Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;” [el-Bekare 2:223] and the Prophet said: “From the front and from the back, just beware of her anus and her menses”. [an-Nasaa’ee in “`Ishratun-Nisaa” with hasan isnaad, et-Tirmidhi dhe të tjerët].

Së treti: On the authority of Khuzaima ibn Thaabit who said: “A man asked the Prophet about entering women in the rear, or the entering by a man of his wife in her rear, and the Prohet answered: `Halaal (dmth. e lejueshme).’ When the man turned to leave, the Prophet called him or ordered for him to be called back and said : “What did you say? In which of the 2 openings did you mean? If what you meant was from her rear and in her vagina, atëherë po. But if what you meant was from her rear and in her anus, then no. Verily Allaah is not ashamed of the truth – do not enter your wives in their anuses!” [as-Shaafi, al-Baihaqi and others: Sahih]

Së katërti: “Allaah does not look at one who comes to his wife in her anus”. [an-Nasaa’ee: Hasan isnaad and supported in “al-‘Ishrah”; at-Tirmidhee and Ibn Hibbaan].

E pesta: “Cursed are those who come to their wives in their anuses.” [Ebu Davud, Ahmad and others with hasan isnaad and is supported].

Sixth: “Whoever has sexual intercourse with a mentruating woman, or a woman in her anus, or approaches a soothsayer and believes what he is told has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad. [Ebu Davud, et-Tirmidhi dhe të tjerët: Sahih].

7. Making Wudhuu’ between 2 acts with one’s wife

When a Muslim man has had sexual intercourse with his wife in the legal manner and then wishes to return another time, he should first perform wudhuu’, based on the statement of the Prophet : “When one of you comes to his wife and then wishes to return another time, let him perform wudhuu’ between the 2 herë (Në një version tjetër, the same wudhuu’ which he performs for prayer) for verily, it will invigorate his return.“[musliman, Ibn Abi Shaibah and others].

8. Bathing is preferable

Bathing, megjithatë, is preferable to merely making wudhuu’ in such situations. Abu Raafi’ narrates: “That the Prophet made the rounds of all his wives one night, bathing in the house of each one. Ai (d.m.th. the narrator) asked the Prophet: “Couldn’t you have just bathed once (d.m.th. at the end)? Profeti u përgjigj : “This way is purer, cleaner and better”. [Aboo Daawood, an-Nasaa’ee: Hasan in “al-‘Ishrah”, dhe të tjerët].

9. The Bathing of Husband and Wife together

It is permissible for the husband and wife to bath together in the same place even though he sees her private parts, and she sees his. This is established by a number of authentic hadith, among them:

On the authority of ‘Aa’ishah (radiallahu anha) Kush tha: “I used to bathe with the Prophet from a single container of water which was placed between us such that our hands collided inside it. He used to race me such that I would say: `Leave some for me, leave some for me!’ shtoi ajo: `We were in a state of Janaba (d.m.th. the state of having slept together).'”[Al-Bukharee and Muslim].

On the authority of Mu’aawiya ibn Haida, Kush tha: “thashe: `O Messenger of Allaah, which of our nakedness is allowed, and of which must we beware?’ Profeti u përgjigj, “Guard your nakedness excpet from your wife or those whom your right hand possesses.” (So it is permissible for both spouses to look at and touch the body of his or her companion even the private parts). tha ai: `O Messenger of Allah, what about if the relatives live together with each other?’ Profeti u përgjigj : “If you can make sure that no one ever sees your nakedness, then do so.” tha ai: `O Messenger of Allah, what about when one is alone?’ Pejgamberi tha: “Allah is more deserving of your modesty than are the people”.“[Ahmedi, Ebu Davudi, et-Tirmidhi dhe të tjerët: Sahih].

10. Making Wudhuu’ after Sex and before Sleeping

It is best for husband and wife not to sleep after having sex until they first perform wudhuu’. There are various hadith about this, among them:

Së pari: On the authority of ‘Aa’shah who said: “Whenever the Prophet wished to sleep or eat while in a state of Janaba (d.m.th. after having sex and before bathing), he would wash his private parts and perform wudhuu’ as for prayer.” [Buhariu dhe Muslimi].

Së dyti: On the authority of Ibn ‘Umar who said: “O i Dërguar i Allahut, should we go to sleep in a state of janaba?” Profeti u përgjigj: “po, after making wudhuu.” [Buhariu dhe Muslimi]. Në një version tjetër: “Perform wudhuu’ and wash your private parts, and then sleep.” [Buhariu dhe Muslimi]. Dhe, në një version tjetër: “po, you can perform wudhuu’, sleep, and bathe whenever you want.” [Muslim and al-Baihaqi]. Dhe, in still another version: “po, and perform wudhuu’ if you wish.” (This last version proves that this wudhuu’ is not obligatory.) [Ibn Khuzima and Ibn Hibban: Sahih].

Së treti: On the authority of ‘Ammaar ibn Yaasir, tha Profeti: “There are three which the angels will never approach: The corpse of a disbeliever; a man who wears perfume of women; dhe, one who has had sex until he performs wudhuu’.” [Ebu Davudi, Ahmedi dhe të tjerët: Hasani].

11. The Ruling of this Wudhuu’

This wudhuu’ is not obligatory, but is very highly and definitely commendable. Kjo (d.m.th. its not being obligatory) is based on the hadith narrated by ‘Umar in which he asked the Prophet: “Should we go to sleep in a state of janaba?” To which the Prophet answered: “po, and perform wudhuu’ if you wish.” [Ibn Hibbaan: Sahih]. This is also supported by other hadith, among them a hadith narrated by ‘Aa’ishah who said: “The Prophet used to sleep in a state of janaba without having touched water, until he would get up later and bathe.” [Ibn Abi Shaiba, at-Tirmidhie, Abu Daawood and others: Sahih].

In another version narrated by ‘Aa’ishah , ajo tha: ““He used to spend the night in a state of janaba until Bilal came in the morning to make the adhaan. Pastaj, he would get up, bathe while I looked at the water dripping from his head, and go out. Pastaj, I would hear his voice in the Fajr prayer. Pastaj, he would remain fasting.” Mutarrif said: “I said to Aamir: In the month of Ramadhaan?” tha ai: “po, in Ramadhaan and in other than Ramadhaan.” [Ibn Abi Shaiba, Ahmedi dhe të tjerët: Sahih].

12. Making Tayammum in a state of Janaba instead of Wudhuu’

It is also permissible to make Tayammum sometimes instead of wudhuu’ para gjumit. This is based on a hadith of ‘Aa’ishah in which she said: “When the Prophet was in a state of janaba and wished to sleep, he used to make wudhuu’ or Tayammum.” [Al-Baihaqi: Hasani]

13. Bathing before Sleeping is Perferable

Bathing however, is perferable to any of the above-mentioned possibilities as is clear in the hadith of `Abullaah ibn Qais who said: “I asked ‘Ai’ishah : “What did the Prophet do when in a state of janaba? Did he bathe before sleeping or sleep before bathing?” She answered: “He did all of those things. Sometimes he bathe and then slept. And sometimes he performed wudhuu’ and then slept.” thashe: “Praise be to Allah who made things flexible.“[musliman, Ahmad and Abu `Auwaana].

14. The Prohibition of sex when She is Menstruating

It is forbidden for a Muslim man to have sexual intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating. This is clear in the following verse of the Qur’an:

“They ask thee concerning women’s courses. Thuaj: They are a hurt and a pollution: So keep away from women in their courses, and do not approach them until they are clean. But when they have purified themselves, ye may approach them in any manner, koha, or place ordained for you by Allah. For Allah loves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean.” [Ata jetojnë në një guaskë të egoizmit të tyre dhe nuk mendojnë kurrë për atë që ndjen partneri tjetër, 2:222]

There are also hadith about this, among them:

Së pari: “Whoever has sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman, or a woman in her anus, or approaches a soothsayer and believes what he is told has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad.”

Së dyti: On the authority of Anas ibn Malik, Kush tha: “When one of their women has their period, the Jews used to put her out of the house, and they would not eat, pije, or sleep with her in the house. The Prophet was asked about this, and Allaah revealed the verse:

“They ask thee concerning women’s courses. Thuaj: They are a hurt and a pollution: so keep away from women in their courses, …

Then the Prophet said: “Be with them in the house, and do everything except for intercourse itself.” The Jews said: “This man wants to leave nothing which we do without doing something different.” Pastaj, Asyad ibn Hudair said: “O i Dërguar i Allahut, verily the Jews says such-and-such, shoudl we not then have sexual intercourse during menstruation?” The Prophet’s face changed such that they thought that he was enraged with them, so they left. As they were coming out, they saw a gift of milk being brought to the Prophet. The Prophet then sent someone after them to give them a drink of milk, so they felt that he was not actually angry with them.” [musliman, Abu ‘Auwaana and Abu Daawood].

15. The Penitence of One who Has Sex during Menses

Whoever is overcome by desire and has sexual intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating and before she becomes clean must give the value of one dinar’s weight of gold or about 4.25 grams (4.2315 to be more precise), or half that amount. This is based on a hadith narrated by ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Abbaas from the Prophet in relation to one who enters his wife while she is on her period as follows: “Let him give one dinar in charity, or one half dinar.” [At-Tirmidhee, Ebu Davudi, At-Tabaraani and others: Sahih].

16. What is Permissible when She is on her Periods

It is allowed for him to enjoy pleasure with his wife in any way except for her private parts when she is on her period. There are several hadiths about this:

Së pari: “and do everything except intercourse itself.” [musliman, Abu ‘Auwaana and Aboo Daawood]

Së dyti: On the authority of ‘Aa’ishah who said: “When we were on our periods, the Prophet used to order us to put on a waist cloth that her husband can then lie with her.” One time she said: “… her husband can then fondle and caress her.” [al-Bukhaaree, muslimanët dhe të tjerët].

Së treti: On the authority of one of the wives of the Prophet who said: “When the Prophet wanted something from one of his wives who was on her period, he put a cloth over her private parts, and then did whatever he wanted.” [Abo Daawood: Sahih]

17. When is it Allowed to resume Sexual Activity after Menses?

When she becomes clean of any menstrual blood, and the flow stops completely, it is allowed for them to resume sexual activity after she washes the place where the blood had been, or performs wudhuu’, or takes a complete bath. Whichever of these three alternatives she does makes it allowed for them to resume sexual activity, based on Allaah’s statement in the Qur’an:

“But when they have purified themselves, ye may approach them in any manner, koha, or place ordained for you by Allah. For Allah loves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean.” [Ata jetojnë në një guaskë të egoizmit të tyre dhe nuk mendojnë kurrë për atë që ndjen partneri tjetër 2:222]

This is the position of Ibn Hazm, ‘Ataa, Qatadah, al-Awzaa’ee and Daawud az-Zaahiree and of Mujaahid: as Ibn Hazm says: “All three of these are a purification – so whichever of them she uses after the cessation of her periods, then she is lawful for her husband.”

The same term is used to mean washing the private parts in the Aayah revealed concerning the people of Qubaa:

“In it are men who love to be purified; and Allah loves those who make themselves pure.” [at-Tawbah 9:108]

There is nothing here in the Aayah however, or in the Sunnah, to restrict the Aayah in question to any of the three meanings – and to do so requires a further proof.

18. The Lawfulness of Coitus Interruptus

(Withdrawl of the penis from the vagina at the time of ejaculation with the purpose of avoiding impregnation. This can be done only with the permission of one’s wife).

It is allowed for a Muslim man to practise coitus interruptus with his wife. There are several hadith about this:

Së pari: On the authority of Jaabir who said: “We were practising coitus interruptus, and the Qur’an was being revealed.” [al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]. Në një version tjetër, tha ai: “We used to practise coitus interruptus in the lifetime of the Prophet. This reached the Prophet, and he did not prohibit us from doing it.” [musliman, an-Nasaa’ee and at-Tirmidhee].

Së dyti: On the authority of Abu Sa’eed al-Khudhriy, Kush tha: “A man came to the Prophet and said: “I have a young girl (right-hand possession), and I practise coitus interruptus with her. I want that which men want, but the Jews claim that coitus interruptus is minor infanticide.” Pejgamberi tha: “The Jews have lied, the Jews have lied. If Allaah wished to create a child, you would not be able to prevent it.” [An-Naasaa’ee in al-‘Ishrah: Abu Dawood and others: Sahih].

Së treti: On the authority of Jaabir, a man came to the Prophet and said: “I have a slave girl who serves us and waters our date trees. Sometimes I go to her, but I dislike that she should become pregnant by me”. Pejgamberi tha: “use coitus interruptus if you like, but whatever has been ordained for her will come.” After some time, the man again came to the Prophet and said: “She has become pregnant!” The Prophettold him: “I told you that whatever has been ordained for her will come.” [musliman, Abu Dawood and others].

19. It is Preferrable not to Practice Coitus Interruptus.

Not practising coitus interruptus is preferable for a number of reasons:

Së pari: It is harmful for the woman, since it reduces her pleasure by cutting it short. If she agrees to it, it still contains the following negetive points.

Së dyti: It negates part of the purpose of marriage which is enlarging the Muslim nation through offspring, as in the statement of the Prophet: “Marry the loving and fertile, for I will compete with the other Prophets with the number of my followers.” [Ebu Davudi, an-Nasaa’ee and others: Sahih]. This is why the Prophet once referred to it as “minor infanticide” (and not because it is forbidden as infanticide is forbidden) when asked about it saying: “That is minor infanticide”. [musliman, Ahmad and al-Baihaqi]. For this was preferable in the hadith narrated by Abu Sa’eed al-Khudhriy saying: “Coitus Interruptus was mentioned in the presence of the Prophet and he said: “Why would one of you do that? (note he did not say “let none of you do that”) Allah is the Creator of every single soul.” [musliman]. Në një version tjetër, tha ai: “You act and you act. There are no people destined to be from now until the day of Qiyama but that all of them will be.” [musliman]

20. What the two Spouses should Intend with their Marriage

Both spouses should enter into marriage with the following intentions: freeing themselves of unfulfilled sexual desires, and protecting themselves from falling into that which Allaah has forbidden (d.m.th. tradhtia bashkëshortore dhe kurvëria). What’s more, a reward as the reward for sadaqa (voluntary giving of charity) is recorded for them every time they have sex. This is based on the following hadith of the Prohpet narrated by Abu Dharr: “Some of the companions of the Prophet said to him: ‘O i Dërguari i Allahut, the affluent among us have taken the rewards (të ahiretit)! They pray as we pray, fast as we fast, and then they give charity from the surplus of their wealth!” Pejgamberi tha: “Did Allaah not make for you that from which you can give sadaqa? Verily for every time you say Subhannallah (Exalted is Allah) there is a sadaqa, and for every time you say Allahuakbar (Allahu është më i madhi) there is a sadaqa, and for every time you say Al-Hamdulillah (Praise is to Allah) there is sadaqa, and in every act of enjoining what is right there is sadaqa, and in every act of forbidding what is wrong there is a sadaqa, and in your sexual relations there is a sadaqa.” The Companions said: “O i Dërguari i Allahut , is there a reward for one of us when he satisfies his sexual desire?” Pejgamberi tha: “Don’t you see, if he had satisfied it with the forbidden, would there not have been a sin upon him?” Ata thanë: “Pse, po! tha ai: “In the same way, when he satisfies it with that which is lawful, there is for him in that a reward.” [musliman, an-Nasaa’ee in al-‘Ishrah, and Ahamd].

21. What he should do the Morning After His Wedding Night

It is desireable for the husband to go to his relatives who came to visit him in his house, on the following morning, to give them greetings and pray for them. It is also desireable for them to do likewise for him, as in the following hadith narrated by Anas : “The Messenger of Allaah gave a feast on the morning of his wedding night with Zainab, at which he fed the Muslims to satisfaction on bread and meat. Pastaj, he went out to the Mothers of the Believers (d.m.th. to his other wives), gave them greetings and prayed for them, which they returned in kind. This is the way he used to do on the morning after a wedding night.” [Ibn Sa’d and an-Nasaa’ee: Sahih].

22. The House must have a Place for Bathing

The married couple must have a place to bathe in their house, and the husband must not allow his wife to go to the public bath houses. This is forbidden, and there are various hadith about it, among them:

Së pari: On the authority of Jaabir who said: “Pejgamberi tha: “Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him not allow his wife to go to the Public baths. Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him not go to the baths except with a waist-cloth. And whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him never sit at a table at which intoxicants are being circulated.” [Al-Haakim, et-Tirmidhi dhe të tjerët: Sahih]

Së dyti: On the authority of Umm ad-Dardaa’ Kush tha: “I came out of the public bath and I met Allaah’s Messenger who said to me: ‘From where have you come O Umm Dardaa’?’ thashe: ‘From the baths’. Pastaj tha: “By the One in whose hand is my soul, every woman who removes her clothes anywhere except the house of one of her mothers has torn down all that veils her before ar-Rahman.” [Ahmedi : Sahih]

Së treti: On the authority of Abu al-Maleeh who said: “Some women from Ash-Shaam entered upon ‘Aa’ishah and said: “Nga jeni?” The women answered: “We are of the people of Ash-Shaam (the area of present-day Syria ).” ‘Aa’ishah said: “Are you perhaps from that district which allows its women to enter the public baths?” The said: “po”. Ajo tha: “Mos harroni nëse jeni xheloz për të ai ka disa cilësi të shkëlqyera dhe nuk duhet të lejoni që ajo marrëdhënie e mirë që keni të prishet nga xhelozia., I heard the Messenger of Allaah say: “Every woman who removes her clothes other than in her house has torn down all veils of modesty between herself and Allaah.” [at-Tirmidhie, Abu Dawood and others: Sahih]

23. The Prohibition of Spreading Bedroom Secrets

It is forbidden for either the husband or the wife to spread any of the secrets of their bedroom to anyone outside. The following two hadith are about this:

Së pari: “Verily among the worst people before Allaah on the Day of Judgement is a man who approaches his wife sexually and she responds and then he spreads her secrets.” [musliman, Ibn Abi Shaiba, Ahmedi dhe të tjerët].

Së dyti: “On the authority of Asmaa bint Yazid who narrated “that she was once in the presence of the Prophet and there were both men and women sitting. Pastaj Pejgamberi tha: “Perhaps a man might discuss what he does with his wife, or perhaps a woman might inform someone what she did with her husband?” Njerëzit heshtën. Then I said: “O, po! O Messenger of Allaah verily both the women and men do that.” Then the Prophet said: “Mos e bëj atë. It is like a male shaitaan who meets a female shaitaan along the way, and has sex with her while the people look on!” [Ahmedi: Hasan or Saheeh due to supports]

24. Detyrimi i festës së dasmës

Burri duhet të sponsorizojë një festë pas përfundimit të martesës. Kjo bazohet në urdhrin e Profetit për 'Ebur-Rahman ibn 'Auf për ta bërë këtë, dhe në hadithin e transmetuar nga Buraida ibn Et-Hasibi, Kush tha: “Kur ‘Aliu kërkoi dorën e Fatimes (e bija e Profetit) në martesë, ai tha se Profeti ka thënë: “Nje martese (dhe në një version tjetër “një dhëndër”) duhet të ketë një festë.” Tha transmetuesi: “Tha tha: '(një festë) të një deleje.’ Ka thënë dikush tjetër: ‘Në sasi të tillë misri.” [Ahmedi dhe et-Taberaniu: Isnadi i tij është i pranueshëm siç thotë el-Haafiz Ibn Hajr në Fethul-Beari.: 9/188]

25. Suneti i festës së dasmës

Në lidhje me banketin e dasmës duhet të respektohen sa vijon:

Së pari: Duhet të mbahet ('akb – Fatul Baari: 9/242-244) tri ditë pas natës së parë të martesës, meqë kjo është tradita e Pejgamberit që ka arritur tek ne. On the authority of Anas who said: “The Prophet entered upon his wife and sent me to invite some men for food.” [el-Buhari dhe el-Bejhaki]. Gjithashtu me autoritetin e Enesit, tha ai: “Profeti u martua me Safijen, dhe liria e saj ishte prika e saj. Ai dha festën për tre ditë.” [Ebu Ja'laa dhe të tjerët: Hasani].

Së dyti: Njeriu duhet të ftojë të drejtin në banketin e tij, qofshin ata të pasur apo të varfër. Pejgamberi tha: “Mos u bëni mik të askujt përveç besimtarëve, and have only the pious eat your food.” [Ebu Davudi, et-Tirmidhi dhe të tjerët: Sahih].

Së treti: Nëse dikush është në gjendje, ai duhet të ketë një festë me një ose më shumë dele. Bazuar në hadithin e mëposhtëm, tha Anasi: “Abdurrahman erdhi në Medine, dhe Profeti caktoi Sa'ad ibn Er-Rabi’ el-Ensarij si vëllai i tij. Sa'di e çoi në shtëpinë e tij, thirri për ushqim, dhe të dy hëngrën. Tha Sa'di: “O vëllai im, Unë jam më i pasuri nga njerëzit e Medines (në një version tjetër: “… të ensarëve”), prandaj shiko gjysmën e pasurisë sime dhe merre atë (në një version tjetër: “… dhe kopshtin tim do ta ndaj përgjysmë”). Gjithashtu, Unë kam dy gra (dhe ti, vëllai im në Allahun, nuk kanë grua), prandaj shikoni se cili prej ime ju kënaq më shumë, kështu që unë mund ta divorcoj atë për ju. Pastaj pas përfundimit të periudhës së caktuar të pritjes, mund të martohesh me të.” Tha Abdurrahman: “Nr, pasha Allahun, Allahu ju bekoftë në familjen dhe pasurinë tuaj. Më trego rrugën për në treg.”Dhe kështu i treguan rrugën për në pazar dhe ai shkoi atje. Ai bleu dhe shiti dhe fitoi. Ne mbrëmje , ai u kthye te njerëzit e shtëpisë së tij me pak qumësht të tharë për gatim dhe pak gëzhojë. Pas kësaj kaloi pak kohë, derisa u shfaq një ditë me gjurmë shafrani në rrobat e tij. Profeti i tha atij: “Çfarë është kjo?” tha ai: “O i Dërguari i Allahut, Jam martuar me një grua nga ensarët.” Profeti u përgjigj: “Çfarë i ke dhënë për pajën e saj?” Ai u pergjigj: “Pesha e pesë dirhemëve në ar.” Pastaj, tha Profeti: “Allahu ju bekoftë, bëj një gosti qoftë edhe me një dele.” Tha Abdurrahman: “E kam parë veten në një gjendje të tillë që nëse do të ngrija një gur, Do të prisja të gjeja pak ar ose argjend nën të.” tha Anasi: “Pas vdekjes së tij pashë se secila prej grave të tij trashëgoi njëqind mijë dinarë.” [El-Buhari, një- Nasa'i dhe të tjerët].

Ai tha gjithashtu me autoritetin e Enesit: “Unë kurrë nuk e kam parë Profetin të sponsorizojë një dasmë të tillë si ajo që bëri për Zejnebën. He slaughtered a sheep and fed everyone meat and bread until they ate no more.” [El-Buhari, Muslimi dhe të tjerët].

26. Wedding Feasts can be with Other than Meat

Lejohet të bëhet banketi i dasmës me çdo ushqim që është i disponueshëm dhe i përballueshëm, edhe nëse kjo nuk përfshin mishin. Kjo bazohet në hadithin e mëposhtëm të transmetuar nga Enesi: “Pejgamberi a.s qëndroi në mes Hajberit dhe Medines për tri ditë gjatë të cilave kishte hyrë me gruan e tij Safija. . Pastaj i ftova muslimanët në dasmën e tij. Në festën e tij nuk kishte as mish e as bukë. Përkundrazi, U nxorën dyshekë ushqimi prej lëkure dhe mbi to u vendosën hurma, qumësht i tharë, dhe gjalpë të kulluar. The people ate their fill.” [El-Buhari, Muslimi dhe të tjerët].

27. Pjesëmarrja e të pasurve në festë me pasurinë e tyre

It is commendable for the wealthy to help in the preparations for the wedding feast based on the hadith narrated by Anas about the Prophet’s marriage to Safiya: “Pastaj, kur ishim në rrugë, Ummu Sulejmi e përgatiti atë (Safija) per atë (Profetin dhe e solli tek ai natën, dhe kështu Profeti u zgjua të nesërmen në mëngjes një dhëndër të ri. Pastaj tha: “Kushdo që ka diçka, le ta sjellë.” (Në një version tjetër, tha ai “Kush ka tepricë të dispozitave, le ta sjellë.”) Anas vazhdon: “Dhe kështu dyshekët e ngrënies prej lëkure u shtrinë dhe një njeri sillte qumësht të tharë, një tjetër hurma dhe një tjetër gjalpë i kulluar dhe kështu bënë Hais (hais është një përzierje e tre gjërave të mësipërme). Njerëzit pastaj hëngrën nga ky hais dhe pinin nga pellgjet me ujë shiu që ishin afër, dhe ajo ishte dasma e Profetit.” [El-Buhari, muslimanët dhe të tjerët].

Sheikh Muhammad Naasirudden al-Albaani
Book of Etiquetts of Marriage and Wedding

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Burimi: http://abdurrahman.org/women/etoquetteofmarriagewedding.html