Bagikeun Ieu
Patarosan
abdis love before marriage better? Naon anu leuwih stabil dina Islam, nikah cinta atawa nikah disusun?
Waleran
alhamdulilah.
Isu nikah ieu gumantung kana fatwa dina naon datang saméméh éta. Lamun cinta antara dua pihak teu ngalanggar watesan Allah atawa ngajadikeun aranjeunna ngalakukeun dosa, teras aya harepan yén perkawinan anu hasil tina cinta ieu bakal langkung stabil, sabab éta hasil tina kanyataan yén masing-masing hoyong kawin.
Lamun hiji lalaki ngarasa sababaraha daya tarik ka hiji awéwé saha éta diidinan pikeun anjeunna nikah nya, jeung sabalikna, euweuh jawaban kana masalah iwal nikah. Kangjeng Nabi (kasalametan sareng kaberkahan Alloh swt) ceuk: "Kami henteu nyangka yén aya anu langkung saé pikeun jalma anu silih cinta tibatan nikah." (Diriwayatkeun ku Ibnu Majah, 1847; digolongkeun shahih ku al-Busayri jeung ku Syaikh al-Albani dina al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 624)
ceuk Al-Sindi, sakumaha anu kaunggel dina Haamish Sunan Ibnu Majah:
Kekecapan ”Kami henteu nyangka yén aya anu langkung saé pikeun jalma-jalma anu silih pikanyaah ti batan nikah” tiasa dihartoskeun ngarujuk kana dua atanapi langkung ti dua.. Naon ieu hartina lamun aya cinta antara dua jalma, cinta nu teu bisa ngaronjat atawa dijieun pikeun lepas deui ku nanaon kawas nikah. Mun aya jodo oge kitu cinta, yén cinta bakal ningkat sareng langkung kuat unggal dinten."
Tapi lamun nikah éta asalna ngeunaan salaku hasil tina hubungan cinta terlarang, sapertos nalika pendak sareng nyalira sareng silih cium, jeung lampah haram lianna, mangka moal pernah stabil, sabab maranéhna ngalakukeun lampah anu ngalanggar syariat jeung sabab geus ngawangun kahirupan maranéhanana dina hal-hal anu bakal boga pangaruh ngurangan berkah jeung rojongan ti Alloh., sabab dosa mangrupikeun faktor utama pikeun ngirangan berkah, sanajan sababaraha urang mikir, lantaran bisik-bisik syaitan, yen jatuh cinta jeung ngalakonan amal haram ngajadikeun nikah kuat.
Sumawona, hubungan terlarang ieu anu lumangsung saméméh nikah bakal ngabalukarkeun unggal pihak cangcaya ngeunaan séjén. Salaki bakal mikir yén pamajikanana bisa jadi boga hubungan nu sarua jeung batur, komo lamun manéhna nyangka eta saperti teu mirip, anjeunna tetep bakal kaganggu ku kanyataan yén pamajikanana ngalakukeun kasalahan ka anjeunna. Jeung pikiran nu sarua bisa lumangsung ka pamajikan ogé, jeung manéhna bakal mikir yén salakina bisa jadi boga selingkuhan jeung awewe sejen, komo lamun manehna mikir eta saperti teu mirip, manéhna masih bakal troubled ku kanyataan yén salakina ngalakukeun nu salah ka dirina.
Ku kituna unggal pasangan bakal hirup dina kaayaan ragu jeung curiga, nu bakal ngaruksak hubungan maranéhanana sooner atanapi engké.
Salaki bisa ngahukum pamajikanana sabab geus sapuk pikeun mibanda hubungan jeung manéhna saméméh nikah, anu bakal ngaganggu anjeunna, sarta ieu bakal ngabalukarkeun hubungan maranéhanana deteriorate.
Lantaran kitu urang mikir yén lamun hiji pernikahan dumasar kana hubungan premarital terlarang, eta paling dipikaresep bakal teu stabil sarta moal suksés.
Kalawan hal ka nikah disusun dimana kulawarga milih pasangan, aranjeunna henteu sadayana saé sareng henteu sadayana goréng. Lamun kulawarga ngajadikeun hiji pilihan alus tur awéwé téh agama jeung geulis, jeung salaki diaku manéhna sarta hayang nikah nya, teras aya harepan yén pernikahan maranéhanana bakal stabil sarta suksés. Ku kituna Kangjeng Nabi (kasalametan sareng kaberkahan Alloh swt) ngajurung nu rek kawin neuteup ka awewe. Diriwayatkeun ti al-Mughirah bin Syu’bah yén manéhna ngalamar hiji awéwé, sareng Nabi (kasalametan sareng kaberkahan Alloh swt) ceuk, “Pindah sareng tingali anjeunna, sabab éta leuwih gampang nyieun cinta antara anjeun ". (Diriwayatkeun ku al-Tirmidzi, 1087; digolongkeun hasan ku an-Nasa’i, 3235)
Tapi lamun kulawarga nyieun pilihan goréng, atanapi aranjeunna ngadamel pilihan anu saé tapi salaki henteu satuju, lajeng nikah ieu paling dipikaresep doomed ka gagal sarta instability, sabab nikah anu dumasar kana kurangna minat biasana teu stabil.
Jeung Alloh Maha uninga.
Sumber: Islam Q&A
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i agree,my situation is this ive been married 2,i now met a beautiful,religous women an we so inlove i approachd da parents but the sed no cos i was married 2,they want 2 arrange a marriage 4 nya,so wot i can say is some of our umah use the deen onli wen it suites them
seems like whoever replied to this is a very male oriented person. Islam gives women equal rights. It not always about women being beautiful and a man not liking the woman chosen for him. It can equally be the other way round.
Also another problem massively faced these days, two people like each other and want to get married right away, the families however have a lot of socio cultural demands which either leads to delaying a marriage or refusing to the proposal altogether. In many cases that i have seen, those in love dont stop and hence it leads to gunah. Their justification to it is that they wanted the right away and adopted it, their parents didnt. Its sad how there are these worldly requirements that leads to such serarios when the answer is simple and just needs cooperation from parents. I wonder if its right for either of the two in love to marry someone else chosen by their family whom they dont love. Loving someone else and being a spouse to someone else is again extremely wrong. May Allah guide us the right path and help us in such hardships!
Jazakallah
i agree with you, also Allah tells us that we have to obey our parents, but we shouldnt when they tell us something that ccontradicts with islam, for xample what if someone loves someone, and theyre both good muslims, and then the guys parents say oh no you cant marry her because shes not the same culture, there are no races in islam, Allah and the prophet told us that in an authentic hadith that no race is greater or bettter than another, and in the Quran “And we have made you into different tribes so that you may know one another” If marriage was based on culture why didn’t the prophet sallalahu alaihi wa salam ever say in a hadith “you should marry from your own race because it will be easier on you”, it just makes me so upset and tired to hear this kind of stuff that culture is a barrier for marriage, i never thought it would even be a prerequisite, culture is nothing its your language where you were born what kind of food you eat and thats it, some muslims these days just block out deen when it comes to marraige and look at culture
@sana: i like your comment and the question posed by you…. well i will not go too deep in details but in short the solution is we need to educate ourself about what our deen (éta ngan teu pinuh elaborate cukup dina ngalakukeun kitu) meureun kusabab anjeunna Sigana rada ganteng jeung eta sabalikna teu boga bulu raray: Which is what Allah SWT commands us and what Prophet Muhammad PBUH has guided us….
If we follow it then there would not be such issues…. but the matter fact is that we dont have time for learning our Deen….
May Allah SWT guide us all to the righteous path….
@sana
I will answer about the last part, where u were wondering, If two people who were in love with each other, should marry some one else ( presumably of their parents choice ), Naha urang resep janten robot anu sadayana katingalina sami sareng anu sadayana ngagaduhan tugas anu sami ngalaksanakeun hal anu sami deui sareng deui salami kalanggengan, I will answer you through Qur’an
Chap 2 Vrs 235 – ”
And there is no sin on you if you make a hint of betrothal or conceal it in yourself, Allah knows that you will remember them ”
Notice the part where Allah says, Allah knows that you will remember them ”
To put it simply, I think, its clear that if you love some1, you propose to them and you should try and marry them, by this verse.
Sanggeus sababaraha bulan pamajikanana datang ka kuring.
@ Salman Ibn Ahmed
I just wanted to say that the ayah from the Quran that you have quoted here does not apply to this situation. If you read the whole ayah and the ayah before it too, you will know that this ayah refers specifically to the women who are in the period of iddat ie mourning after their husband has passed away. It is instruction for a man who sees this woman, or hears about her and would like to propose to her.
sareng Allah langkung uninga.