11 iingcebiso kwizibini zamaSilamsi ezijongene neengxabano zomtshato eNtshona

Imitshato idla ngokuqala kamnandi. Wonke umntu uyasebenzisana-isibini, abazali babo, ezinye izalamane, bahlobo. Izinto zidla ngokuhamba kakuhle.

Kodwa kwindawo ethile endleleni, iingxabano zomtshato ziyavela. Yi le, kunjalo, yendalo, kodwa ezi zinokunyukela kumanqanaba ayingozi ukuba azisingathwanga ngokuchanekileyo.

I-Sound Vision yathetha noShahina Siddiqui we-Islamic Social Services Association yase-United States naseKhanada (ISSA) malunga neengcebiso zezibini ezijongene neengxabano zomtshato. Wachaza iingxaki ezithile waza wanikela amacebiso ngendlela yokuhlangabezana nazo.

1. Imali

Izibini zixambulisana ngezinto ezininzi kodwa imali yeyona nto ixhaphakileyo kwaye inzulu. Isicombululo kukuxubusha imiba ngokuphandle nokubonisana phakathi kwentsapho.

Njengokuba, umbandela womfazi osebenza ngaphandle kwekhaya unokubangela ingxabano. Oku kungcono kuxoxwe ngaphambi komtshato. Kwakhona, ukuba uthe wagqiba kwelokuba asebenze, yavuma indoda, ngaba ufuna ukunikela inxalenye ethile kwiindleko zendlu okanye uza kuzigcinela yonke loo mali (elilungelo lakhe)?

Enye yeendlela zokuthintela iingxabano malunga nemali kukwenza ngokulula uhlahlo lwabiwo-mali olulandelela iindleko, umvuzo, utyalo-mali kwaye useka isikhokelo sokukhathalela iimfuno zosapho rhoqo (jonga uqingqo-mali lwentsapho.)

Kwakhona, funda ukwenza uqingqo-mali kunye nokujongana namatyala. Ukuba ungumfundi osemncinci, khumbula ukuba kufuneka uhlawule imali-mboleko yabafundi. Kuya kufuneka wazi nokuba ungayifumana phi imali-mboleko engenanzala kwaye loluphi uncedo olukhoyo (ngolwazi oluthe vetshe malunga nemiba yemali yamaSilamsi, jonga iphepha lemali leSound Vision.

2. Abasemzini

Abantu basebukhweni ngabona babekek’ ityala baze bagculelwe xa kukho ukungavisisani emtshatweni. Kodwa kukho iindlela zokugcina ulwalamano oluhle kunye nabo. Nanga amanye amacebiso:

1. Khumbula ukuba abazali beqabane lakho baye babazi ixesha elide kwaye bebathanda ixesha elide. Ungaze wenze umba malunga “mna okanye bona”.
2. Amaqela ngamaqela makazilungisele ngokwawo iingxabano. Ukuba umazala wakho unengxaki nomyeni wakhe, mabajongane nayo. Musa ukuphazamisa
3. Musa ukuxelela iqabane lakho indlela yokuphucula ubudlelwane babo nabazali babo.
4. Lindela ixesha lohlengahlengiso ukuze abazali emva komtshato balungelelanise nolu lwalamano lutsha.
5. Khumbula ukuba oomama badla ngokuthandabuza ngomolokazana nootata ngabakhwenyana.
6. Hlala ubaphatha ngovelwano abantu basebukhweni bakho, intlonipho nenceba.
7. Gcina ulungelelwano phakathi kweemfuno zakho kunye nezo zabazali bakho.
8. Ungaze uthelekise umfazi wakho nomama wakho okanye umyeni wakho notata wakho.
9. Musa ukuya kubazali bakho ngeengxabano zakho.
10. Ukuba uxhasa abazali bakho ngemali yazisa iqabane lakho njengombandela wembeko kunye nokucaca.
11. Musa ukwalela iqabane lakho ukuba libone usapho ngaphandle kokuba woyikela inkolo nokhuseleko lwalo.
12. Musa ukukhupha iimfihlo.
13. Zinike ixesha lokwazi abazali bakho kodwa ungabikho kwiingxabano zabo.
14. Gcina iAdabhi (iileyibhile) yeSilamsi kunye nodade wenu- nabazalana (o.t.andiwole okanye ndingancanyiswa).
15. Awunyanzelekanga ukuba uchithe iimpelaveki zonke kunye nosapho lwakho.
16. Nika ootatomkhulu nootatomkhulu ukufikelela ngokulula nangokufanelekileyo kubazukulwana babo.
17. Xolela kwaye ugcine uburharha bakho.
18. Khumbula ukuba akukho mntu unokuphazamisa okanye uphembelele umtshato wakho ngaphandle kokuba umvumele.
19. Mema abantu basebukhweni ubuncinane kanye ngenyanga kwisidlo.
20. Batyelele xa kunokwenzeka uze ukhuthaze iqabane lakho ukuba lityelele abazali babo uze ubahlole rhoqo.
21. Xa abazali bexhomekeke kubantwana babo, kufuneka kuqhutywe ingxoxo enzulu nawo onke amaqela akhoyo. Okulindelekileyo kunye neemfuno zelungiselelo lokuhlala elinjalo kufuneka zenziwe.

3. Ukuba ngumzali

Umlo obangelwa kukungavisisani ngendlela yokukhulisa abantwana ikwangunobangela woxinezeleko emtshatweni. Esinye isisombululo kukuqalisa ukufunda ngobuzali bobuSilamsi phambi kokuba ube nabantwana. Ukuba sele unabo abantwana, usenokufunda. Jonga iphepha lokukhulisa iSound Vision. Okanye qhagamshelana nemibutho efana ne-ISSA ngezixhobo.

4. Uxinzelelo

Uxinezeleko luyinto ephantse yahlala ihleli kubomi babantu abaninzi kuMntla Merika. Izibini zamaSilamsi nazo azinjalo. Uxinzelelo lomsebenzi, Lithini izinga lobundlobongela basekhaya kuluntu lwamaSilamsi aseMelika, ithathwa isiwe ekhaya.

Izibini ezitshatileyo kunye neentsapho kufuneka zisebenzise indlela yokuhlangabezana nemeko kusapho. Njengokuba, Izibini zinokuthatha uhambo ukuya kuthetha ngaloo mini okanye ziye eMasjid kumthandazo omnye ubuncinane. Bayakwazi ukufunda Quran ngamnye okanye kunye. Iindlela zinokwahluka, kodwa okoko nje ziHalal kwaye zisebenza, zinokusetyenziswa.

5. Udlama lasekhaya

Le yinyani elusizi kakhulu kwaye ngaphandle kokuba kujongwana nayo ngokukhawuleza ngamaxhoba, abenzi bobubi kunye/okanye abo banenkxalabo malunga nezi zibini, emva koko intsapho iya kuphuka. Ukufuna uncedo kuyimfuneko kwaye ukuba ubundlobongela basekhaya abunqandwa, imiphumo eyonakalisayo ayisayi kuba yingozi kuphela kwindoda nomfazi, kodwa nakubantwana babo.

Amalungu osapho, abahlobo kunye nee-Imam kufuneka baluyeke uxhatshazo. Bamele bangenelele baze basebenzele ukufumana uncedo kwindoda nomfazi.

6. Ukungahambelani ngokomoya

Le yingxaki ekhulayo kuMntla Merika, apho amaSilamsi avela kwihlabathi liphela ahlala kunye nokuqonda okwahlukileyo kwe-Islam. Kukho ukunqongophala okuphazamisayo kokunyamezelana phakathi kwamaSilamsi aselula, ngakumbi, abanokuthi bangene kumaqela afana namahlelo ashumayela a “silungile kwaye wonke umntu akalunganga” ingqondo, enoba umbandela ungowokuba ubeke izandla zakho emthandazweni okanye ugqibe kwelokuba unxibe iimpahla zaseNtshona okanye ezaseMpuma.

Oku kunganyamezelani kudluliselwa emitshatweni, apho isibini sinokungavisisani ngezinto ezincinane zokholo. Izibini ezitshatileyo kufuneka ziwuqonde umahluko phakathi kokwahluka kweembono ezamkelekileyo ngokwamaSilamsi kunye naleyo ingeyiyo. Kufuneka bahlakulele ukunyamezelana, ukulungelelana kunye nentlonipho yeeyantlukwano zabo kweso siseko.

7. Ukungasebenzi kakuhle ngokwesondo

Le yenye yeengxaki ezingathethwa kakhulu, kodwa ngulowo uyonakalisa imitshato eliqela. Izibini ezininzi ezitshatayo aziyifundi imbono yamaSilamsi ngesini nomtshato. Nje ngeziphumo, xa benganelisekanga ngamaqabane abo, uninzi lwabo lusenokuphethukela kwabanye okanye lufune uqhawulo-mtshato olulula, endaweni yesisombululo.

Izibini kufuneka ziqonde ukuba ubudlelwane bomtshato kule ndawo, njengakwabanye, idinga umsebenzi kunye nomonde kwaye ayinakuba ngumxholo we-whims kunye nokungabi namonde. Ulwazi, ukuziqhelanisa kwaye ukuba kunokwenzeka, icebo lesilumko, Umphengululi onovelwano zizinto ezimbini eziphambili ekufumaneni isisombululo kule ngxaki.

8. Imitshato yeeNkonzo eziManyeneyo

I-Islam iyakwalela ukutshata phakathi kwabasetyhini abangamaSilamsi kunye namadoda angengawo amaSilamsi. Kukho inani labasetyhini abangamaSilamsi abaye bathabatha eli nyathelo kwaye bazisola kamva. Isenzo esinjalo, kwiintsapho ezininzi zamaSilamsi, kukhokelela ekubeni owasetyhini abe likheswa kusapho lwakhe engafumani nkxaso. Nje ngeziphumo, xa kuvela iingxabano zomtshato, inkxaso yabazali, apho kukho izibini ezininzi zamaSilamsi, ayikho kwaba bafazi. Aba bafazi bangamaSilamsi banokuba netyala lokungathobeli u-Allah kunye nokwenzakalisa abazali babo.

Kwezinye iimeko, abafazi Muslim cela amadoda non-Muslim abafuna ukutshata ukuguqula kamsinyane phambi komtshato ukuxolisa abazali babo. Kwakhona oku kunokukhokelela kwiingxabano zomtshato. Zimbini izinto ezidla ngokwenzeka. Nokuba indoda iba ngumSilamsi oziqhelanisayo ngokwenene kwaye isibini asisahambelani, okanye uhlaselwe ngamaSilamsi ekuhlaleni efuna ukummemela kwi-Islam kwaye uyacaphuka kwaye angayithiya i-Islam..

Kwimeko yamadoda angamaSilamsi atshata abafazi abangamaYuda nabamaKrestu, imeko yahlukile. Ngelixa amaSilamsi ekuvumela oku, Amadoda amaSilamsi atshata namaYuda kunye namaKristu kufuneka akhumbule ukuba uhlala eNtshona, ukuba bagqibela ngokuqhawula umtshato, abantwana phantse ngokuzenzekelayo baya kunikwa umama. Kwakhona, khumbula ukuba umama sesona sikolo sibalulekileyo somntwana. Ukuba ufuna abantwana bakho bakhule njengamaSulumane, ungcono ukuba utshate umfazi ongumSilamsi, ngakumbi eNtshona, apho iimpembelelo zenkcubeko ezingezozaSilamsi ngaphandle kwekhaya zomelele ngokwaneleyo. Ngaphakathi ekhaya, kuya kuba nzima ngakumbi ukugcina iimpembelelo zamaSilamsi ukuba umama akangomSilamsi oqheliselayo.

9. Imitshato yenkcubeko

Ngelixa iSilamsi singayivumeli imitshato yeenkcubeko ezahlukeneyo, banokuba ngumthombo woxinzelelo xa amaSilamsi, ikakhulu isibini, kodwa neentsapho zabo, benze inkcubeko yabo ibaluleke ngaphezu kobuSilamsi. Ukuba inkxaso yabazali ikhona kumtshato wenkcubeko, izinto zilula kwisibini. Ukuba akukho, yaye ukuba kukho inkcaso ekrakra kwicala elinye okanye omabini amaqela abazali, kungangcono ukuba ungatshati naloo mntu ekuhambeni kwexesha.

10. Ukunqongophala kwezakhono zasekhaya

Ngelixa amantombazana ekhuthazwa ukuba abe zinzululwazi, iinjineli kunye noogqirha, njengokuba, akukho nto ingagxininiswayo ekufumaneni izakhono zasekhaya. Kufuneka kukhunjulwe ukuba kwi-Islam, ngelixa abafazi bengathintelwanga ekusebenzeni ngaphakathi kwezikhokelo zamaSilamsi, namadoda akhuthazwa ukuba ancedise kwimisebenzi yasekhaya, umsebenzi ophambili wabasetyhini kungaphakathi kwekhaya njengomphathi wekhaya nomama. Ngenxa yokunqongophala kwezakhono zasekhaya, izibini ezininzi ezitshatileyo zizifumana zikumakhaya amdaka, apho ukutya kunqongophele ukutya okufanelekileyo kwaye ngokubanzi, kukho ukuphazamiseka.

Ukuba isibini esitshatileyo siyasebenza, Abayeni kufuneka bagxininise ngakumbi ekhaya kwaye bakhumbule ukuba abafazi babo abangomatshini, kodwa umntu naye udinga ukuphumla emva kosuku olunzima lomsebenzi.

11. Inkosikazi yanamhlanje yamaSilamsi idibana nendoda yakudala yamaSilamsi

Ngelixa abafazi abancinci abangamaSilamsi baseNtshona bakhuthazwa ukuba bomelele kwaye bazithembe, amakhwenkwe akhuliswa ngendlela efanayo kunye nolindelo lwenkcubeko efanayo nooyise. Nje ngeziphumo, izibini eziselula zijamelene nomlo, xa ezakudala, inkwenkwe encinci yamaSilamsi ayifuni kuphakamisa umnwe ujikeleze indlu (oko engazange ambone utata wakhe esenza lento) kwaye umfazi wakhe omncinci ongumSilamsi ulindele ukuba angene, njengoMprofeti uMuhammad (uxolo neentsikelelo zibe phezu kwakhe) wenza nabafazi bakhe.

Njengokuba, iqela labafana abangamaSilamsi balindele ukuba abafazi babo bangaxambulisani nabo kuba bengazange bambone umama wabo ewela uyise. Oku kwakhona ngokwenkcubeko. Kodwa okucacayo kukuba amakhwenkwe namantombazana akhuliswa ngokwahlukileyo kakhulu. Abazali bafanele balumke ngakumbi ukuze banikele uqeqesho olufanelekileyo kubo bobabini abantwana. Njengokuba, Abazali kufuneka bangenelele kwiimeko zeengxabano ezilolu hlobo kwaye bangabi nabulungisa, bengamthandi umntwana wabo.

NguAbdul Malik Mujahid

Uvavanyo lweMatrimony enyulu SIMAHLA 7 iintsuku! Yiya nje ku: http://purematrimony.com/podcasting/